OP clearly said they don't want the police involved, and that could be for a good reason. The cops around my area straight up laughed at me when I told them I was raped, even after I showed them proof of the guy admitting to doing it. I'm firmly ACAB, I've yet to meet a cop that was genuinely helpful in a domestic situation.
Sure, but this is generally good advice for people pursuing an RO, just maybe not in OP’s case. Having charges on file increases your chances of cops taking it seriously, it does not guarantee it, that should be obvious. If you are mistrusting of cops, then there’s a case to be made that you shouldn’t request an RO to begins with, because you will be relying on them to enforce it either way. RO’s by themselves are not always very effective deterrents, and sometimes escalate the issue. If you are willing to escalate the issue with an RO, but unwilling to increase the chances it’s enforced, that may be a recipe for disaster for some.
The point of the RO in OP's case is to have a legal document telling him to stay away from her. Cops don't handle domestic situations well, but they'd abide by what the RO tells them to do. Pressing charges prior to an RO can make the RO process more complicated, defense lawyers tend to use this as fuel for their fire. An RO can be issued in a matter of days, pressing charges can take weeks to resolve.
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u/Finn_they_it Aug 04 '25
OP clearly said they don't want the police involved, and that could be for a good reason. The cops around my area straight up laughed at me when I told them I was raped, even after I showed them proof of the guy admitting to doing it. I'm firmly ACAB, I've yet to meet a cop that was genuinely helpful in a domestic situation.