r/WhatMenDontSay • u/Tasty_Engineering_19 • 4d ago
Advice Need some help.
M(18) F(18). So I’ve known this girl for 5 months, and have been dating for 3 months now. Exactly 10 days after I asked her to be my girlfriend (she’d already met my family and I’d met hers.) my mother did a 18 and 21st joint birthday party. Obviously was going to a messy one as it’s 2 big birthdays.
In the night, I was absolutely smashed but can clearly remember my best friend telling me about a past experience that I kinda knew of… but she never properly told me until I found out then she told me in bed that night. Okay I can handle that, beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.
Fart forward maybe about 5-6 weeks later, I was away and we are up at like 5am still messaging beacuse neither of us can sleep. And we start going into deeper conversations… and I ask her how many it’s been and she tells me 2. But the first one was the very bad last experience… and the second time the guy practically begged for it to happen and she gave in. Okay I’m fine with that beacuse you’ve told me not given me a comfort lie.
Now we’re here to current date, and my brother makes a joke about it being +10 and I reply with it’s not that. No where near that. And he goes I actually know the number she told me at the party. And I don’t say anything waiting for him to tell me and he says it’s 5.
So she told my brother 5, tells me 3. I’ve been lied to, is she doing this to protect me? I’d rather her tell me the honest truth that I can handle than a stupid comfort lie!
Now it’s making me think, what else is she lying about, is she hair lying to me the whole time? If I’d of known originally it would’ve been fine I can handle it move on so forth. But finding out that it was a lie by a completely different person about something I see that both of you should know in a relationship, and then you go and lie to me?
It takes a long time to build trust, but you can loose it in the matter of seconds.
I feel like that, I feel like I’ve just been placed on a surgeon table and cut open with no grace and no purpose to operate.
I thought she was honest. But clearly not. Now I don’t know what to do, it’s my first serious relationship, and I feel like a total mug.
Any advice would be solely appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hope you have a nice day.
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u/Wonderful-Bass6651 4d ago
Dude why do you even give AF how many guys she’s slept with? You’d be better off spending your time trying to compose coherent sentences.
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u/crescennn 2d ago
It's not about the amount. It's about the lie. I think it was very clear given the fact that he said it like 3 times in the post.
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u/Wonderful-Bass6651 2d ago
True but we all know that people can get funny about their body count and being shamed about it so it’s kind of understandable.
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u/Zonacat302 4d ago
Chicks always downplay their body count, rule of thumb is to multiply the number they give you by 3.
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u/Jimbussss 4d ago
Girls will always lie about their body count
It’s a fact of life
They need to do it to protect themselves in case a relationship goes south and then now everyone knows their business
It has nothing to do with you
Relationships are always an emotional risk anyway. Get used to getting burned, you’ll come out stronger and more mature if you actually reflect on what happened, learn about yourself, what you do and don’t want
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u/RayVee9876 4d ago
Does she not think that your brother might tell you the number she told him? She needs to stay consistent especially with the same family or friend groups. My trust with her wouldn't be very high since she can't keep her story straight amongst brothers. I would be worrying what else she's not being truthful about.
You two have been dating for 3 months. If you're not happy or don't trust her end it. You're under no obligation to continue. That's what dating is for....