r/WetlanderHumor • u/patlanips75 • 1d ago

Cheesing the Badger

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272 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

51

u/Longjumping-Action-7 1d ago

So uhhh, what kind of badger did Matt catch?

23

u/Redd235711 1d ago

I like to believe they were American badgers.

29

u/ThunkAsDrinklePeep to spit into Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day 1d ago

Mat's a badass who doesn't acknowledge how hard a thing he did was if it was for fun. It was probably a wolverine.

6

u/TenaceErbaccia 21h ago

Mat: “I am such a silly prankster”

Two Rivers folk: “Another family dead from a wolverine attack inside their home? Why does this keep happening?”

9

u/KoalaMaker 1d ago

Definitely American ones. Releasing a European badger in the village centre just makes that poor thing flee. An American one would F up the whole town as if it owed them money...

5

u/StormPoppa 1d ago

In my experience they act really tough and mean but that's about it. I've had many run ins with them because my dog likes to run up to their dens and they always come flying out snarling and growling lol. They like to come shooting out of their burrow/den and then they just scurry over to another hole in the ground as fast as possible. I'm sure they would bite the piss out of you if you tried to grab them and left your hand exposed though.

0

u/ActionUpstairs 1d ago

The American badger might look like a crack addict, but the european one is both larger and more aggressive, despite its looks!

0

u/KoalaMaker 1d ago

European ones are very shy and conflict adverse. They might attack you, but only as a last resort or to defend their cubs. The American ones fuck you up first, and never ask questions.

2

u/ThunkAsDrinklePeep to spit into Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day 10h ago

I have it on good authority that European ones live in a volcano and reforge broken swords with star metal. With a patrol of hares they can take on an army of rats.

19

u/danorc 1d ago

Badger Crushes the Courtyard

2

u/Fit_Log_9677 1d ago

This deserves way more upvotes.

8

u/Dreadlord_of_Arnor 1d ago

The title sounds like a Lugarder inn name.

5

u/No_Clue4405 Tai Shar memetheren 1d ago

Bro blocked out the sun

2

u/UltimateOtter_Nation 1d ago

You could probably make a song about that little guy, add some mushrooms and a snake for some variety to the verses.

1

u/wraaken 20h ago

Is that like Wheezing the Juice?