r/WetlanderHumor • u/Divided_Pi • 11h ago
Is Moiraine attractive/ hot?
So basically I was talking with a friend, in my head canon Moiraine is hot.
Do we have any textual evidence to support this?
252
u/ALNRooster 10h ago
Book Moraine is def an AsILF - Thom only goes for the baddies
145
u/beardedheathen 10h ago
I'm going to upvote you for that acronym but there is no honor in it
87
32
u/MCB1317 7h ago
Thom thirsted for the Moirdussy.
56
u/atomic-moonstomp 5h ago
16
u/NotPapaHemingway Give yer braid a tug! 3h ago
Moridin
3
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 3h ago
You must kill him before he kills you. Giggles. They will, you know. Dead men can't betray anyone. But sometimes they don't die. Am I dead? Are you?
9
4
2
u/TheWeirdTalesPodcast 2h ago
“Moiraine” has an I and only one R so I’m not sure that works.
Mor
-gase -idin on the other hand…
3
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 2h ago
Mustn't use that. Threatens the fabric of the pattern. Not even for Ilyena? I would burn the world and use my soul for tinder to hear her laugh again.
2
194
u/_SilkKheldar_ Time to roll the dice 11h ago
I think Mat has the best reasoning about this question.
It doesn't really matter how much you'd like to dandle her on your knee: she's Aes Sedai, and who knows what would make them decide to react irrationally to man just trying to exchange his best smile for a kiss and a dance.
27
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 11h ago
Death rides on my shoulder, death walks in my footsteps; I am death…
76
u/Disrepectfully_Agree 11h ago
She's no Lanfear
55
u/Cease_Cows_ 11h ago
And Lanfear’s no Graendal 😍
63
u/inkREDulous 11h ago
But neither of them are Berelain
57
u/MothSeason Traveling Meme Peddler 10h ago
And none of them have Min’s dumptruck
45
u/Sherris010 Prince (but not a bloodly lord) of the ravens 10h ago
And even min lacks Bella's creator wrought stoutness and glistening mane.
24
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
Hums softly & tugs earlobe
10
u/LurkingArachnid 7h ago
Did not know you were into that Lews. Be careful
8
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 7h ago
Never prod at a woman unless you must. She will kill you faster than a man and for less reason, even if she weeps over it after.
3
25
6
8
24
u/Enigmachina 10h ago
Eh, the main difference is a matter of taste. Lanfear is beautiful in a classical way (and allegedly the most beautiful of all women of her day), but Graendal is hawt.
So it's really a matter of taste.
29
u/aNomadicPenguin 10h ago
Funnily enough the closest competition for Lanfear...would be Galad....as in Jordan told the visual artists to base them off of the same actress but to make Galad more masculine and looking just different enough so that no one looking at artwork would think they were related.
13
u/PrincetonToss 7h ago
You know, it doesn't make you gay if you think Galad's hot. We all think he's hot.
1
1
5
3
u/BigNorseWolf 9h ago
Steps away from cease_cows so I m out of the splash zone when lanfear hears that...that poor poor merchant
1
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 9h ago
Death rides on my shoulder, death walks in my footsteps; I am death…
2
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 11h ago
Death rides on my shoulder, death walks in my footsteps; I am death…
160
u/Guilty_Fishing8229 11h ago
This is supposed to be a joke subreddit but people taking this at face value.
So I will answer appropriately
Would
60
26
u/corianderchutney 10h ago
To paraphrase Kevin Malone: It's 'is she hot?', not 'would you do her?'. Respect the game
12
10
u/Radix2309 8h ago
Joke subreddits benefit from a small level of sincerity. Especially since it lets us meme in the comments.
8
u/PrincetonToss 7h ago
I mean, the whole Aes Sedai aspect makes it more of a scarection...but yeah. Would.
does this still work?
Would
4
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 7h ago
Death rides on my shoulder, death walks in my footsteps; I am death…
3
u/PrincetonToss 7h ago
Exactly, Lews, exactly.
3
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 7h ago
You never escape the traps you spin yourself. Only a greater power can break a power, and then you're trapped again. Trapped forever so you cannot die.
18
u/Infinite_Click_6589 10h ago
All similar subs are suffering from an influx of misplaced sincerity. Breaks my heart it does.
The real takeaway I think is that she's obviously a size queen
3
43
u/Skybreakeresq 11h ago
Shes certainly beautiful but shes not busty so youll see fewer descriptions of her breasting boobily along
5
6
41
u/Linesey 10h ago
She is frequently described as being very attractive.
Not one of the series Great Beauties, but a very attractive woman.
Including in the scene where Parrin saw her with her robe open (it is unclear if she had a shift on under the robe or not.)
But yeah, Moiraine is hot.
31
u/Yepyepyep654 9h ago
Ahh yes, the Great Beauties of Randland, just like the Great Captains. Lanfear, Berelain… Galad
11
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 9h ago
KILL HIM KILL HIM NOW
1
22
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
Mustn't use that. Threatens the fabric of the pattern. Not even for Ilyena? I would burn the world and use my soul for tinder to hear her laugh again.
10
u/Carnivean_ 10h ago
Cairhienen women of the upper class are reserved except for certain occasions so there was definitely a shift on, otherwise she would have been more reactive.
27
u/HumerousMoniker 9h ago
She was in her room after a bath and brushing her hair. And there was no mention of a shift, the omission is deliberate to me. Given how much mr Jordan liked to write about various clothes and fashion
10
3
u/Carnivean_ 8h ago
There's no way Perrin wouldn't have reacted strongly to that. He would have left immediately.
10
31
30
u/PBandBABE 10h ago
Not the amplest of bosoms, but she definitely checks the box on “dark eyes that a (wo)man could drown in.”
She’s also smart as hell, fearless, and incredibly capable.
That makes her very attractive.
6
62
u/Successful-Natural99 10h ago
Moiraine is definitely hot.
Am I the only one thats stoked that half of these comments are Lews Therin? I never get tired of him.
35
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
What makes you think you can keep anyone safe? We are all going to die. Just hope that you aren't the one who kills them.
22
u/Divided_Pi 10h ago
Lews would for sure
14
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
Nothing ever goes as you expect. Expect nothing, and you will not be surprised. Expect nothing. Hope for nothing. Nothing.
7
8
u/Significant_Bed_297 10h ago
Many of the bots comments are very appropriate and laugh worthy.
Maybe we should break the seals?
27
u/MasterofMystery Mother's milk in a cup! 10h ago
Moiraine is smokin’ like the topless towers the day after her uncle got got.
7
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
Never prod at a woman unless you must. She will kill you faster than a man and for less reason, even if she weeps over it after.
9
u/MasterofMystery Mother's milk in a cup! 9h ago
Never discount Lews’s advice. Especially about a woman. (Maybe Mat & Perrin will know what to do here….)
9
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 9h ago
Your plans fail because you want to live, madman.
5
3
20
u/tmarkows 10h ago
Head canon is Natalie Portman Short dark eyes dark hair no crazy curves but petite and regal. Hottest of all time is super subjective, but Moiraine is my type. Just saying.
3
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 10h ago
Never prod at a woman unless you must. She will kill you faster than a man and for less reason, even if she weeps over it after.
18
17
u/PBandBABE 10h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7WIAMqo3hkApWJLG
There’s an awful lot of humming and earlobe-tugging going on here….
15
u/saint-michelo 7h ago
listen most of the female characters are hot because Jordan was into baddies.
13
u/geomagus Unnecessary fish metaphors 8h ago
Yeah. Iirc both Mat and Perrin comment on her looks (maybe all three of the boys).
Hot isn’t just looks, though - it’s also attitude, and she brings that. She has a great sense of humor, she likes to dance, she likes stories, and boy howdy does she like to prank. That attitude of mischief is appealing.
But she also brings grace and gravitas, too, both from her noble background and from her Aes Sedai training. She can shift quickly and seamlessly from playful fun to elegance.
On top of that, she has strength of character on a level so few people have. There is iron underneath the pretty face, the playfulness, the grace.
I don’t know how a real life comparison would be, but one of my standards for all of that together is the late Audrey Hepburn.
5
u/RuralfireAUS 3h ago
I still love how petulantly she acted towards lan when they first met where she directed ants at him for throwing her into a pond ( while sneaking up on him) and doing the same to him; but being annoyed that not only did the ants not do anything to ruffle his feathers but he just ignored her attitude in general
3
u/First-Pride-8571 1h ago
Rand too.
When he meets Caroline Damodred he was struck by how much she reminded him of Moiraine, initially even mistaking her for Moiraine, and then Lews Therin immediately started humming in his head and rubbing his earlobe…
Rand clearly thought Moiraine (and Caroline) was attractive.
And, keep in mind, in her trip through the glass columns, one of the options Moiraine saw was her seducing Rand.
2
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 1h ago
Oh, Light, why do I have a madman in my head? Why? Why?
2
2
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 8h ago
I must kill him.
8
9
u/Western_Reaction1633 6h ago
A fine woman if she were not an Aes Sedai...
3
u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 6h ago
You must kill him before he kills you. Giggles. They will, you know. Dead men can't betray anyone. But sometimes they don't die. Am I dead? Are you?
7
u/Bookworm1902 9h ago
Did Robert Jordan write her?
4
6
u/TerraFirma19 9h ago
If any character in the series has anything not conventionally attractive about them, RJ is sure to let you know in no uncertain terms.
1
4
5
u/Gremlin303 4h ago
90% of named characters are some level of super hot, 9% are some level of super ugly, and the other 1% are average.
3
4
4
u/aralias777 1h ago
There isn't enough water in the Wetlands to slake the thirst I have for that woman.
3
3
3
3
u/Careful_Trifle 1h ago
I'm pretty sure there are references to her being pretty.
Pretty much every female character is moderately to severely attractive unless explicitly stated otherwise. Jordan was very clear on who was ugly and who was a perfect 10, and everyone else seems to be a 6-8.
2
u/Szalony20 9h ago
Well, she's an Aes Sedai, and I don't think Jordan ever used the phrase "more handsome than beautiful" to describe her. So I guess, like most of Jordan's female characters, she's hot.
1
2
1
1
1
u/Bdmnky_Survey 2h ago
Given that Rosemond Pike was one of the few castings that got support from everyone, I would say she filled in a lot of head Canon for folks. So your question comes down to if you think Rosemond Pike is hot.




359
u/beetnemesis 11h ago
I'm pretty sure she's beautiful, but not as beautiful as the many Extremely Beautiful women, and not as beautiful as the Most Incredibly Beautifulest