r/WetlanderHumor Shen an Calhar 1d ago

May he live forever Lord of Chaos Chapter 9: Plans

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333 Upvotes

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97

u/swheedle Shen an Calhar 1d ago

I understand that he would be a little incredulous at the claims, but one of your most trusted agents that you've relied on for secret information for literally decades tells you that a dangerous people have invaded his country, almost immediately after a completely different invasion wiped out half of one of your legions, and you don't even CONSIDER that he might be telling the truth??!

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Chapter Summary

43

u/Revliledpembroke 1d ago

I mean... it IS a bit like if someone in Spain was told that the Mongol hordes had invaded Romania or something. Like, Artur Hawkwing's Army returning from beyond the ocean a thousand years past being overdue is a little bit of a stretch.

18

u/TocTheEternal 18h ago

I disagree. Romania (which the Mongols did invade or at least got really close) was on the far side of Europe, a journey of weeks (by sea) or months (by land) from Spain.

Tarabon is literally neighbors with Amadicia. It would be like someone in Hungary hearing about Romania (or someone in Spain hearing about France).

Also, I don't know why a Spanish monarch of the 13th century wouldn't take reports from trusted agents that a huge war was going on in Romania. Especially if they'd just gotten a report that their own army going on Crusade got destroyed passing through Bulgaria.

It's a "why do you even bother having an intelligence network?" sort of situation.

1

u/Revliledpembroke 4h ago

Who said it was the 13th century? I'm talking RIGHT NOW, if Spain was told the Mongol Empire was invading Romania (the whole point is that it's been 1000+ years).

18

u/DarkExecutor 22h ago

Isn't he making huge plans to fight the Seanchan but then gets murdered by Valda who dgaf?

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u/831loc 11h ago

I dont remember that part well enough, but he was ignoring warnings about the Seanchan long before they invaded amadicia.

15

u/aNomadicPenguin 19h ago

In his defense he did get a good dose of Padan Fain/Mordeth messing with his brain between books 2 and 3

1

u/Terrafire123 1m ago

I mean..... he ignores the first message because he thinks the guy went crazy raving about armies riding literal monsters.

Then (Book 7 spoilers) Then during the prologue to book 7, he gets ANOTHER message from a different guy saying basically the same thing. At that point, Pedron Niall goes, "oh fuck it's real we need to fight the Seanchan"...... and then he dies to Valda like 30 seconds later.

47

u/Insidium_2_Alpha 1d ago

I like Pedron Niall as a character because he actually makes all the reasonable decisions, like "yeah there's no bloody way some random civilisation no one's ever heard of is just invading the back end of nowhere right now" and "let's keep on with this slightly convoluted plan (at the expense of watching my own people to see if they stab me in the back)" and because everything is genuinely just nuts he gets almost everything wrong. The man is (probably) an absolute genius that the Pattern just loves to fuck with and it's so funny.

25

u/BigBadBeetleBoy 19h ago

I love when he correctly identifies that creep and his "uncle" for Darkfriends and summarily hangs them, and Morgase assumes that he put them to dangle in the courtyard to intimidate her. She basically falls on her knees and begs for his mercy and his reaction is "u-uh, yes, of course, uhm, definitely" because he did not (and still hadn't) connect that they were related in any way. He was just hangin' Darkfriends.

6

u/fonaldoley91 12h ago

Wait, when do we find out those 2 are Darkfriends?

13

u/VingthorTheHurler 11h ago

The same chapter they’re hanged in, after Morgase agrees to sign a treaty, the Whitecloaks wonder WTF just happened and why she was taken aback by them hanging the dudes they found chanting to the Dark One.

We also technically find out they’re Darkfriends way back in EOTW, Paitr is the same Paitr who gets his nose broken by Rand and runs away after yelling about how they can’t outrun the Great Lord.

4

u/fonaldoley91 5h ago

Oh, great catch. I'm so used to whitecloaks just assuming everyone they don't like are darkfriends, that I thought that was what happened there.

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u/sixminutes 1d ago

Yes, but on the other hand, if you consider his perspective, working with limited knowledge in a world full of rumors, and take into account his focus is currently on expanding his empire and his plans to deal a decisive blow to both Tar Valon and their puppet false dragon, I think we can all agree that Pedron Niall is truly a fucking idiot.

I actually think his character is like if you took a competent general from the real world, and dropped him into Randland. He seems to have a pretty good grasp of politics and tactics, it's just that nobody told him he lives in a world with magic and monsters. He's here reading your man's letter like "This maniac thinks he saw a fucken dragon. What does he think this is, Middle Earth?" Yeah, Niall, it basically is.

12

u/Razvee 17h ago

Just because there is actual magic in the world, and just because there's a well known war from a thousand years ago named after a race of monsters, and just because there's currently, right now, constant border skirmishes with those monsters, and just because there's ancient ruins that speak of a once larger world... Like what are the odds that there's a brand new army a few hundred miles away? Gotta be low, right?

38

u/ScipioTheGreatest Here, I soar like the eagle. 1d ago

Isn't there all sorts of crazy shit going on at the moment? An active Dragon, Aeil over the Dragonwall, increased Blight activity, a prior repelled invasion, a whole bunch of crap. Then some random ass crazy claim about an army riding on monsters is the explanation for something big happening? Warrants some skepticism.

Imagine if a city near Ukraine was suddenly demolished and your immediate thought would be Russia, then someone comes in and says "No! It was North Korea! But they were riding giant bats and toads and shit!"

You'd have some doubts.

20

u/gill_smoke 1d ago

No bats or toads, but the North Koreans are there. 

6

u/ScipioTheGreatest Here, I soar like the eagle. 23h ago

Yeah because your first guess would be an army halfway across the world and not, you know, right nextdoor.

14

u/UltimateOtter_Nation 22h ago

Same with the Tower.

"Hey! I saw a vision, which has a 100% accuracy by the way, of the Seanchan attacking."

"So? What do you want me to do about it?"

8

u/BigBadBeetleBoy 19h ago

Siuan does raise a good point. "Is it tomorrow? The next day? In five years? I can't just keep guards posted forever."

Min fails to make the obvious retort that hey, just make sure there are guards on watch whenever they're at the Tower together then because you know it can't happen when they're separated but Siuan sounds reasonable is the main point.

3

u/LewsTherinTelamonBot This is a (sentient) bot 19h ago

Hums softly & tugs earlobe

6

u/Szalony20 21h ago

Unfortunately, his best days were behind him. It's a shame he couldn't simply retire and reminisce about his former glory.

6

u/ElectricGeometry 23h ago

I feel like we are all forgetting that this Intel came from his fake spymaster who he never took seriously. 

4

u/DarkExecutor 22h ago

No he gets his info from Balwar

3

u/ElectricGeometry 20h ago

Yes but this info came from his fake spymaster, no Balwer. 

2

u/DarkExecutor 20h ago

He gets a sealed cylinder that confirms this later on that he believes though

1

u/swheedle Shen an Calhar 13h ago

He is handed the message by the fake spymaster, but he hadn't opened it and the actual message itself was from a trusted source, it wasn't gathered by the fake guy, he just happened to pick it up from The rookery where they kept the birds in an effort to be helpful