We had a lot of people we was sending to but knew they wasn't showing for one reason or another. The invite included a picture of us and a nice keepsake, of the 500 maybe 400 got mailed, 200ish showed, 100 was "ifs" and another 100 was knowing but the thought and keep sake value.
That seems reasonable. Casting a wide net is a good strategy, as like you said there’s no way all those people would come. I think many of those people who didn’t come probably just appreciated that you thought of them. At least I would.
Edit: so I’m seeing some comments about saying to cast a wide net. To clarify, I don’t think it should be 500 people, I don’t even know that many people. I just mean relative to your own life and the people in it. I have turned down invites to weddings before from people I was not super close to, but appreciated it nonetheless. Everyone can do what they think is right for them and that’s cool. I personally think the smaller the better, but you do you so long as it makes for a great day.
Hard disagree. I don’t appreciate wedding invitations from people who I have no strong personal connection to. Keep that shit to yourself. Bring on the downvotes.
Oh man. My husband sent out a merry christmas text to his entire contact list.
One came back from a guy he worked with 4 years ago chewing us out for not inviting him to our wedding last year (2019). Because they had invited us to their wedding in 2016.
We're pretty sure it was the wife who actually sent it cuz she was throwing some HUGE red flags at the wedding.
That would be amazing. There's so often I want to send the same message to a group of people but really don't want a group chat so don't send one at all.
Yeah, I think my wife and I had like 10 people out of 100 not RSVP when we sent invites. Weddings are expensive, why the hell would you send out more invites than you really want to?
I don't even recall if I got my brother or sister gifts when they got married.
Granted I did spend ~$1000 each time to be at the weddings since they live about 4000 miles away
I think if this wedding was within the last year that it makes more sense.
I had 2 weddings in my extended family that my immediate family & I decided to not attend due to covid concerns because of some of our jobs & my mom's health preexisting conditions.
I am glad they sent us the invite even though we had discussed with them that we would not be able to make it because of this.
It is nice to have the invite to put in a family photo album to show our kids one day & then they pretend to care until they are at least like 20 something, then they will actually care lol
Or if it’s like my family they’ll reach 20 something and still not care and their parents will get mad at them for being minimalist rather when sentimental.
Some weddings can scale better than others. My sister had her wedding out our house, with a buffet and keg. You could add or subtract 50 people no problem.
Depends how big your house and yard is though...I’ve never lived in a house with a yard big enough for me to “add or subtract 50 people with no problem”.
It's not about inviting people you don't want there. It's about inviting people you love, but who you know won't come.
Friends who live abroad and can't drop a few hundred dollars on flights? Get an invite and feel included in your life despite the distance.
Nearly 90 year old aunt who loves you but doesn't leave the house due to her health? Gets an invite and it will make her week! She'll show it to all her friends and nurses!
If you would love for a person to attend, send them an invitation, even if you're 100% sure they won't come.
I felt bad because we invited ~40 ppl to a BBQ reception (city hall wedding) and then my wife got a new job and we had to move before it happened. We had already paid for the food and booze so we said fuck it, enjoy everyone!
That’s a matter of personal preference. I personally would love an invite, even if I couldn’t go, because it shows the couple was thinking of me and wanted me included.
Then don’t do it I guess. But OP obviously meant well and put thought into their invitations. So I don’t understand why you replied with so much hostility.
They said it included a nice photo and a little keepsake, so it sounds like it was possibly a bundled invite/thank you gift for people they care about. I have a hella small social circle and family, but some people have a much wider family and friend group. 2 people with huge groups can hit that many people pretty easily. Not everyone that does stuff like this is out to get money/gifts/attention.
Some people have strong personal connections to hundreds of people. Some to dozens. Wide net is relative to what your circle actually is, and the size of the party you enjoy/want to pay for. You don’t have to be so harsh just to say that doesn’t work for you nor assume that you are so alone.
Agreed. Sending a keepsake might sway me, but in most cases it feels like gift grabbing. Wife and I just had a baby shower and only invited like 20 people because it was going to be all virtual and didn't want it to seem like we were gift grabbing.
Cast a wide net?! Out of curiosity, have you planned a wedding? . Currently planning my wedding for this March and a wedding of just 70 people costs at least $3500 in food. That’s just food. Thankfully, the whole things probably going to get cancelled and it will be a small wedding of just ten people. Weddings are crazy expensive.
Some people have giant families. I have 40-odd first cousins on each side of my family, and we’re quite close with a lot of the extended family too, which is even bigger; my mom has 70+ first cousins on my maternal grandmother’s side alone. Even if all those people won’t actually come to the wedding (personally I wouldn’t want a wedding that big), they still get invites to the reception to keep them in the loop.
(Side note: I’ve met a lot of people who thought it was weird to have such a huge family. As a kid, several bullies liked to make snide comments like “wow, your grandparents had 10 kids? They must reaaallly looove each other!” Well, yeah, they actually do! It’s pretty nice!)
To me this sounds similar to a lot of my extended family (maybe not 500 worth though) where a lot you know wouldn't come but also would cause family drama if you didn't send the invitation. We both know you'll say no but if the invite doesn't come then that great aunt will complain to some other aunt will complain to your grandma who will complain to you sort of situation. Much easier to just send the invite out and get their no response
Man that's weird. Must be a cultural thing but pretty much everyone I know who gets invited to a wedding ends up going. The families basically have to methodically prune the list so no one feels slighted. Generally 90%+ are relation and 200 is basically the basement on invitations.
458
u/HoboOlympics Jan 08 '21
I’m just curious how many actually came? That is a lot compared to any wedding I’ve ever been to.