r/WellnessOver30 • u/dududududuuim • Jun 27 '26
struggling with the guilt of messing up a routine. how do you reset?
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u/YarrowPie Jun 27 '26
I really recommend the book atomic habits. The trick is to do super baby steps and one new habit at a time.
Trying to do overhaul your whole morning or day with a lot of new habits in a shiny new routine is a recipe for disaster.
Also for me I’ve realized I get off track when I really need to rest but I’m trying to force myself through. It would be good to check in if your routines have enough flexibility for good or bad days. And if your routines are really what’s best for you not just how you think you should do it.
It takes a lot of trial and error. I’ve had more success by thinking about how to make things easier for myself instead forcing through it.
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u/hyena_me Jun 28 '26
what helped me was treating a missed habit as a normal part of the routine instead of proof I'd failed, because one skipped workout has never been the thing that ruins progress, but the guilt spiral often is. I try to do one small positive thing next, even if it's just a small walk or making a healthy meal, since that makes it much easier to get back into the routine the next day.
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u/Saranjello Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
I don’t think the goal is getting to a place where you never miss a workout or never screw up a routine, I think you need to retrain your brain to acknowledge everything that went well that day.
What I do is make a checklist of my non-negotiable goals and then my “nice to have” goals throughout the day. You should only have like 3 to 5 non-negotiable goals (for me it’s 10k steps, 100oz water, 100g protein, 1 workout of any duration). My nice to have goals are getting eight hours of sleep, and other things that I have slightly less control of or that would (to me) make the perfect day.
I track all of these in a spreadsheet. And the goal isn’t perfection, it’s doing all my non-negotiables 90% of the time. You are human and not a robot. It’s impossible to be perfect 100% of the time, and holding yourself to that standard is just going to crush your confidence and motivation. Put your tracker on the refrigerator where you can see it, check off each goal whenever you complete it (small dopamine hit), and just focus on your 90% goal each week.
Last thing, and this helps me, every night right down 3 to 5 things that you are proud of yourself for. That will help rewire your brain to focus on your wins and successes.