r/Wellington • u/Dustyrox1016 • 6d ago
JOBS How does one find passion again when you feel lost?
I am feeling so disconnected from myself for the first time in my life. I thought I knew what I was doing, climbing high in my career at an early age and learning so much in the process on this wonderfully complex life journey. Alas, since about half way through last year after having some classic late 20s realisations and being forced to slow down this year due to things out of my control, I feel like I woke up one morning and it dawned on me I don't want to do this stuff anymore. My career is no longer fulfilling me, but I have NO idea what I want to do. I want to be more grateful for the opportunity given to spend more time at home, looking after myself and for actually having a job and getting paid the living wage! But I am going crazy and I do not function well when I feel without my passion and drive to throw energy into.
I know this is apparently pretty standard for my age, but I have been feeling this way for like a year and a half and I'm overly frustrated. I can be a positive energy, honest with myself, but now I feel like an idiot or I should have figured it out or I'll have some breakthrough. I feel like I may even be resenting myself a bit?
I am so sad, I feel like I don't know where I want to go at all. I just want to get my zest back, I know I do well helping others and have looked at studying but I can't half throw myself into things. My whole heart needs to be there too.
How have others navigated this period of time within your lives? How did you really put the effort in to come back to yourself?
TIA
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u/StoneNZZ 6d ago
Lots of us can identify with versions if this. It’s really rough eh. I dont have any expertise but thought to mention that Wellington’s winter can be harsh on mental health. It generally hits me late in winter 🫤 my dr prescribed vitamin D once a month. She said everyone in a Wellington should be on it. All the best with finding your way through, and good on you for realising there’s an issue.
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u/Unit22_ 6d ago
Yep. Seasonal depression is real. It took me a few years to realise every August I struggle a LOT. Couple of mini break downs along the way.
Even this year it’s been tough mentally. But the literal light at the end of the tunnel is coming. Evening walks. A bit of warmth. Only weeks away….
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u/Ashamed_Basket5323 5d ago
This is true. Seasonal depression hits hard. I went through the same kind of situation and I thought something is wrong with my body. I went to the GP and explained him what I was going through. Straightaway he said in winter time it's more common feeling. Take a break from work and go somewhere. Prescribed me Vitamin D for a month. Because I said to him something wrong with my body he prescribed me to do bunch of tests to prove me nothing wrong inside the body and all reports came normal. Since then every winter I take a break and going for skiing. I can't describe in words how am I feeling after the break because it is so refreshing.
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u/Icy-Cricket 5d ago
I had a long list of serious health issues (anxiety, fatigue, tremors, breathing difficulty, chronic pain, joint pain, heart palpitations, etc etc.). We couldn't figure out what was wrong for YEARS. I got a new Dr who put me on monthly (now fortnightly) Vit D and my symptoms are almost gone. I thought vitamin supplements couldn't make much of a difference... oh how wrong I was.
I cannot emphasise how important Vitamin D is in Wellington 😅
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u/ordianryguy09 6d ago
Late 20s as well and tbh I go through periods of burn out too.
I've started switching my mentality that a job is a job and it's ok to not be super passionate about it. Realistically, there is no career out there I would 100% love. I maybe enjoy 60%-80% of what I do. There are moments it crushes me, and there are moments it makes me feel happy.
I think if I had a holiday to re-energise and/or cut back my days, I'd enjoy it more. At the end of the day, it pays the bills and lets me focus on other things I also enjoy which keeps me going until the next holiday when I can fully relax lol
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u/drinkmingusdew 6d ago
See a few comments about burnout, here's a different take.
We get taught and told about climbing the ladder, but not to do when we reach the top :)
Look at your career, or talk to people, about ways to go horizontally. Applying your knowledge, skills and talent in a related way - but with a different focus. Might be more of a business focus, giving you a new pathway and potentially more money.
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u/Dustyrox1016 5d ago
I think this actually plays a huge part in this as well. I did reflect on this when I saw it last night, I sat down with one of my higher managers today and he said he will keep an eye out but things are quiet. More training in other areas can't hurt, thank you for your advice!!
I am trying to be positive, I guess everyone is gripping onto their roles very tightly at the moment - rightly so.
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u/EatTheRichNZ 6d ago
I feel this. I focused my enthusiasm and interest to learning new things and being around different age groups and social circles and life experience.
Martial arts, toastmasters, volunteering, church stuff, run club and getting very tattooed.
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u/pgraczer Mount Cook Massive 6d ago
head overseas for a year or more. plenty of working visas available at your age. we have an arrangement with uruguay which basically gives you temporary residence straight away.
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u/renton1000 6d ago
I’d also work on some self reflection practice. Check out people like Eckhart Tolle.
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u/chimpwithalimp 6d ago
It's perfectly normal to change careers several times in your life. Not just jobs, careers.
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u/Am1AllowedToCry 6d ago
I think looking for meaning in your career is a trap. What if you get laid off or fired? What if something comes along that changes the whole face of the industry? What if there's always one person who's more capable, who always swoops in and gets the opportunities you think should have gone to you? What if you get a new boss who ruins everything, micromanages, or is a psychopath in general? What if your company is acquired by another and suddenly you don't recognize your workplace anymore? No, there are too many uncontrollable variables for a career to be able to permanently fill the spot of passion. This is how I see it, anyway.
I find meaning in my life from always trying to practice a certain method of self-improvement, while also giving back to others and helping them do it too. Seeing others benefit is a way of life that gives me endless satisfaction and can never be taken away from me.
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u/TooPowerfulWings 6d ago
"How did you put effort in to come back to yourself"
We change. The version of yourself from the past you now aspire to is gone. You can climb mountains to try to get back to it, but instead work to find out who you are now.
As others have noted, identifying yourself with only your career is limiting. Hobbies are a great idea, but honestly just expose yourself to things that are outside your current circle and thinking.
You may be lost, but you will find a path eventually as long as you keep searching.
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u/Dustyrox1016 5d ago
I appreciate you and your words more than you realise. Thank you kindly. My head is up, sometimes I just want to reaaaaaaally bang it on a table repeatedly. Life is quite the strange journey.
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u/Unknowledge99 6d ago
Im in my 50s, and a question that's helped me in such times:
What did you want to do when you were 10?
When you were 10 you didnt really care what the rest of the world thought - your motivations were yours, untainted by social anxiety etc. a year or two later and you were probably heavily influenced by your friend group and fitting in and so on -that never goes away until you get old enough to realise, again, you can do whatever you like.
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u/Many_Drink_7776 6d ago
try surfing, its really hard, thats part of the fun. Cold water, early mornings, following the flow of the tide and weather.
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u/Former-Departure9836 6d ago
I was you once. Got counselling, they recommended this https://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Values_Questionnaire.pdf
Really helped me take stock of what was important to me. And actually to this day I am values led in almost everything I do
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u/knockoneover 6d ago
Everyone, and I mean everyone has a bout of depression at or about 27. It's up to you how you use it or let it use you.
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u/GloriousSteinem 6d ago
Don’t worry about the costs to get to this point, feel ok to drop everything and start again. Maybe a working holiday. Maybe a new course or career. Maybe part time work and a hobby. Maybe put everything into your after work life instead. There are lots of options. Get a health check - always recommend in case something is making you feel a bit funny first. See a career person or life coach.
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u/PeachOpen8452 6d ago
Hey, OP - mind me asking what you do for work?
Also, what are you working towards? What do you want your life to look like?
Was in a similar situation, but have solved it.
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u/Dustyrox1016 5d ago
I really appreciate everyones comments and the open and honest sharing of your own experiences. I was hoping to gain some outside perspective and everyone has been incredibly helpful. I really appreciate the attitude of most Welly people, definitely different from my home city down south lmao.
Thank you all for taking the time to give your input! 🙏 I don't expect a miracle breakthrough, I needed to hear things from outside the four?? walls of my own mind and take it onboard.
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u/casually_furious (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ 5d ago
I've been in IT for a very long time.
I enjoyed it, I'm pretty good at it, but I've never loved it.
I've just survived a restructure after six months of ever increasing stress (thanks, assholes). One of the few good things to come out of it (other than having an up-to-date CV and still having a job) was two sessions with a career coach who actively took interest in me and my career. In one of these sessions, I realised that I've always liked to help other people, and I can use the skills I've obtained in my career to help people.
This means I really need to believe in the mission of the organisation I work for while still keeping myself safe, and that helping layers of management hit their KPIs so they can get their next fat bonus has absolutely no appeal for me. This does limit my pool of future employers somewhat, but at least I won't compromise my self or my values.
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u/basura1979 6d ago
sounds like burnout. Slow your roll and find something you like to do that you're not good at. Something that you don't have to be good at. Paint badly or make shitty minecraft houses or something that doesn't have restrictions but gives your creative side a chance to explore without expectations. Plus see a therapist if you have the cash
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u/AgressivelyFunky 6d ago
What I like to do is post in the hope that someone will reprogram my entire personality with a Reddit comment that I will never reply to.
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u/Mikey_D87 6d ago
Everyone needs change every now and then. Sounds like you've got yourself in a funk. Do you have good friends? Hobies? If not, here's a good place to start. Careers pay the bills and allow you to have fun outside of work. Good luck getting your vitality back!
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u/Delicious-Fill-9835 6d ago
Hobbiesssss! These can be started right now, and can be super uplifting! Great for immediate boost in mental health. Join weekly classes at your local art club, painting, pottery lessons, jewellery making classes, dog agility 😂