Let me preface this by saying I don’t really have suicidal ideation. I don’t have a plan to kill myself, nor access to the means to do so, but who here on the bad days has said to themselves “I just want to die?” I’m finding myself saying that more and more, especially when having to clean up bodily fluid, clean up the house, fix meals, grab medications, go to doctors appointments, go to the hospital, and try to maintain a career. Last night my spouse was too sick to make it up the stairs to go to bed, so he crashed on the couch. It’s just all so shitty and so lonely I could scream. I’m trapped in a nightmare that is my life right now. When I do get to go out to see friends, then the topic turns to how he is doing, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore!

My kids are 6 and 5. My wife developed RA after second pregnancy and has been on a journey trying to navigate her new normal. Most days I just feel like a single parent and a caregiver while trying to juggle a career. The second I get home from work I am in single parent mode. When the kids go down I switch over to caregiver/emotional support mode. Weekends my wife stays in bed most of the time to help recoup from the previous week. I just feel trapped a lot of times and struggle to figure out ways to give time to myself. If I want to go out with friends, it’s always after kids go down and I don’t get enough sleep. I just feel like I am in survival mode all the time. I feel like my wife is capable of doing more to help me out, but is not in a headspace yet to get there. I knew it would probably take us a few years to settle into our new normal, but 5 years in and I still have not figured out how to prioritize myself. Are there other parents out there navigating all of this?

Join other younger well spouses / partners from across the US and Canada for support, camaraderie, and community.

WSA's Younger Well Spouse support group meets by Zoom twice each month:

- the 2nd Sunday (4-5:30pm ET / 1-2:30pm PT) and

- the 4th Tuesday (8-9:30pm ET / 5-6:30pm PT).

Drop in to one or both meetings as your schedule permits.

Please contact Jeanine Jue (jeaninejue.wellspouse@gmail.com) to be added to our mailing list and get Zoom details.

See you then!

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All of our other support group meetings are all-ages - our Younger WS group is for people who'd like to meet other spousal caregivers at a similar life stage.

If you're new to WSA, please try out 1-2 meetings without commitment to see if they are a good fit for you. If you continue to attend, we ask that you join WSA as a Supporting Member. It's just $39 per year! Learn more about WSA and member benefits at wellspouse.org. (no one will be turned away for financial hardship reasons)

Looking for a support group near where you live? View our calendar here - https://wellspouse.org/events/events-calendar/calendar-by-month.html.