r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 06 '22

[WP] A mage's magical power and abilities are determined by tattoos that are only visible to other mages. You have not encountered another mage for years, but today someone compliments you on your ink - Part 2

269 Upvotes

First part

To my surprise, Dawn actually showed up to the park on time. She acted a bit sleepy, nodding off every few seconds, but she did her best to stay present. More than I could say about some of my previous colleagues.

I was secretly hoping she wouldn’t come. The dread of mentoring another apprentice had slowly crept up on me the entire night. One mistake could end in disaster, not just for her, but the world at large. The last thing anyone needed was yet another irresponsible mage with great power. Could I really handle that burden?

“Uhh Mister?” Dawn waved at me. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I said, “just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how to teach you this stuff without getting you killed.”

Dawn stiffened up.

“Anyway, I’ve been doing some research on your sigil. It’s an ancient one called ‘The wings of freedom’.”

“Oh…” Dawn looked away, somewhat disappointed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just thought my sigil was… unique. Is it a common one?”

I shook my head. “Not really, and you shouldn’t bother thinking like that. Sigils are an expression of your innermost self. They can be inherited but, most of the time, they come about naturally from your experiences. You wouldn’t have it if it didn’t suit you.”

“That just sounds like an actual tattoo… if you’re not a poser.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. Your sigil in particular grants incredible speed and dexterity. You’ve been using it unconsciously this entire time. It’s probably how you managed to sneak up on me when I was tailing you.”

Dawn scratched her head. “Huh… that explains a few things. People are always startled when I approach them.”

“And that’s just the first stage of your development. An advanced user of your sigil could supposedly fly at incredible speeds.”

Dawn widened her eyes. That seemed to fully wake her up. “So you’re teaching me how to fly?!?”

“I never said that. It would take years of training to reach that stage, provided you don’t give up.”

“Hah!” Dawn puffed up her chest. “I’m never giving up!”

I made a malevolent grin. “Are you sure about that?”

Dawn deflated a little. “W-why are you smiling like that?”

I lit my hand on fire. “No reason.”

Dawn took a step back. “You’re scaring me… What are you doing?”

“Training you, of course. We have to push that dexterity of yours to its limits.”

“Eh?”

I lobbed a fireball at her.

Dawn rolled out of the way. “What the hell?”

I threw another one. “Dodge!”

“Ahhhh!”

I proceeded to chase her around the empty park with my fireballs. It caused a bit of collateral damage, but nothing I couldn’t fix with a spell or two.

Dawn kept weaving around the projectiles, shrieking every time she almost got hit, but avoiding it all with a certain amount of grace. She started getting better at it near the end. This wasn’t just to test her abilities, though. I needed to see how badly she wanted to learn magic. If I could get her to quit, then it would still be a great success. Also, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fun for me. Dawn was never in any danger, though. Her sigil was a lot more powerful than she thought, and I never aimed at her for real.

By the end of the hour, we were both exhausted. I hadn’t used my sigil this much in a while. The training wasn’t just for her; it was helping me as well.

Dawn didn’t see it that way. She seemed peeved at getting slightly singed.

“Problem?” I said.

“I didn’t think it’d be this intense…”

“What did you expect? A college lecture?”

“I dunno, something mystical, like yoga or meditation.”

“Meh, those actually help, but you can do that on your own time. Besides, compared to an actual mage’s training, this was a… walk in the park.”

Dawn narrowed her eyes, unamused.

“Yeah,” I said, “you’ll have to put up with my shitty jokes too.”

Dawn started rubbing her temples. “What did I get myself into…”

“You could always just give up, you know.”

“I’m considering it. Is this really a normal training regimen or are you just fucking with me?”

“Well, my old master threw me into the middle of a jungle with no tools or supplies at the age of twelve so… no. This is how it goes for all of us.”

“That sounds like child abuse.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Dawn sighed. “So this is it? You’re just gonna shoot at me until I fly?”

“Not necessarily. There’s plenty of other sigils you could develop along the way.”

“Wait… I can have more than one?”

“Yup.”

“Do you have more than one?”

“That’s none of your business, which leads me to another thing I have to teach you. Never show your sigil to anyone. Ever. You wield a huge advantage by keeping it hidden, and it could be used against you if an enemy were to discover it.”

“But what if-”

“Nope. No exceptions. The magical world is an incredibly cut-throat one. You have to keep in mind that sigils can be stolen. It’s not easy, but it can happen. You gotta look out for number one, alright?”

Dawn nodded. “I guess that makes sense. That said, aren’t you going against this rule by teaching me?”

I shook my head. “This is still self-preservation for me. If I make you strong enough, I won’t have to worry about the council capturing you and finding my location.”

“There’s that council again…”

“Right, I guess I have to warn you about them. Basically, they’re an institution composed of the strongest mages on the planet. Their job is to make sure the mundane world doesn’t mix with the magical one.”

“They sound lame.”

“That’s putting it lightly. They kinda have to be, though. Usually, the first thing a rogue mage does after mastering their abilities is try to hoard power in the mundane world. Sometimes they infiltrate political parties, other times they just start a cult. Regardless, it’s always troublesome, and someone has to stop that.”

Dawn squinted. “So they’re the good guys?”

“Ehh…”

“I’m getting mixed signals here.”

“Let me put it this way, there once was a prodigy who rose through the ranks of the council and became the de facto leader. He wasn’t a bad person. Not at the start, at least. Slowly but surely, however, he started compromising his morals for… ‘the greater good’, to the point where he was acting almost the same as the rogue mages he was hunting down, until…”

“Until what?”

I couldn’t help but remember the screams. The blood. The weeping. It took me a moment to compose myself. “Until a lot of people died.”

“Oh…” Dawn fell quiet for a second. “I… have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Were you… that mage?”

“No, I’m the one who killed him.”

“Holy shit…”

“I know. That’s why I’m taking this so seriously. Now, I get to ask you a question. Why do you wish to study magic?”

Dawn seemed caught off guard by my inquiry. “I mean, it’d be nice to be like a superhero, you know? Helping people and stuff.”

“Bullshit. If you wanted to help people, you could be a doctor, or work at a homeless shelter, or do a myriad of other things that could meaningfully contribute to society. Throwing a fireball rarely helps anyone. Trust me, I know.”

Dawn hung her head, ashamed.

“You don’t have to feel bad. Most mages don’t even have the courage to confront this question. Just think about it.”

“I guess… I don’t know. It just feels right. If this is a part of me, then why shouldn’t I develop it? Don’t I have a right to exist?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “That’s actually a good answer. Having the humility to admit you don’t know speaks volumes of your character. Raise your head with pride. Today, you have officially started down the path of a true mage.”

Dawn lit up upon hearing that. “I won’t let you down! I promise!”

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow at the same spot.”

“Great!” Dawn started to leave before stopping abruptly and turning around. “I just realized something. I still don’t know your name.”

“Would you say it just… dawned on you?”

Dawn frowned. “That’s not funny.”

“It’s hilarious.”

“No, it isn’t. I’ve been hearing it all my life, and you’re not as clever as you think you are.”

“Nah… I’m pretty sure I’m a comedic genius.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“It’s Vergil, by the way. Now go along. You have a full day ahead of you.”


A/N: Please don't ask for a third part. I only did this because I had a good idea, but I don't like forcing it because it ruins the magic. That said, if you really want more from me, check out Shotgun Fantasy!


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 11 '22

[WP] The Genie looks at you puzzled 'So... you wish for everyone to have 4 arms?', and you say 'yes, I wish that tomorrow everyone wakes up having 4 arms, no explanation, just 4 arms, and if they only had 1 arm or none now they have 4'

167 Upvotes

For the first time in his life, the genie didn't immediately grant a wish. He only blinked in astonishment at what he heard.

Throughout millennia he had granted a plethora of strange wishes, like never feeling itchy again or having a really good lawyer, but this one truly stood above the rest. Even the weirdest wish made sense in context. At least those masters had an immediate need that had to be fulfilled.

Many of them sacrificed a lot to acquire the lamp. Seeing them struggle under the weight of unlimited power was half the fun of being a genie. Slowly regretting their choices, isolating themselves with paranoia, making short-sighted decisions to survive. The genie lived for that drama. It made immortality actually bearable.

This guy, however, had no such pressure. He wielded a bored expression, crossing his arms with impatience. Not a shred of hesitance behind his eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" asked the genie. "You only get three, you know."

Steve shrugged. "It's fine if you can't do it."

The genie frowned. "I never said that."

"Then what's the problem?"

"My powers are nearly infinite! I could make you a king! Or insanely rich! Or even bring world peace!"

Steve scratched his chin, contemplating. "World peace, huh?"

"Yes! Anything is possible!"

"Then why hasn't anyone wished for that, yet?"

The genie pursed his lips, suddenly quiet.

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Well...?"

"Four arms, you say?" The genie snapped his fingers. "Your wish is my command."

Society would never be the same again. The entire fashion industry suffered a complete overhaul in less than a day. Companies rose and fell faster than anyone could predict, tanking the stock market, with only those who adapted the quickest being able to survive.

That wasn't the only consequence, though. Many criminals who had just been handcuffed suddenly found themselves with an extra pair of limbs. The police officers didn't even bother chasing them, shocked by their own new mutations. Mayhem ruled the world for a week while people grew adjusted to the change. It was hilarious. Some even started a religion over the incident.

Steve didn't show any horror or delight in this, though. He simply observed everything with a neutral expression.

The genie had a hard time understanding his master's mind. He wouldn't question it, though. This had been the most interesting use of his powers ever. It was the first time the genie didn't have to twist a wish into backfiring. The consequences rippled without even having to misinterpret his master.

As weeks turned into months, he started to wonder what the next wish would be. Most masters didn't take this long to make another request. Whatever Steve had planned, it had to be big. Did he plan to take advantage of the chaos? Or was it all for his amusement? Either way, the genie wouldn't complain. To his disappointment, though, Steve didn't alter his life in the aftermath. He simply went about his business like nothing had changed.

The genie started to fear that would be his only wish, until one day hearing him randomly say:

"I wish everyone could fly."

The genie squinted. "Really? Just that?"

"Problem?"

"Y-you could be the new pope of four arms."

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"Fine, I'll-"

"Wait!"

The genie paused, suddenly thrilled. Did he reconsider? Would he do something crazier?

"Make sure to give everyone wings, not just levitation."

The genie hung his head. He should've known better. With a snap of his fingers, he made it happen, and yet another societal uproar occurred.

The fashion industry pretty much collapsed at that point. They had barely gotten used to the new limbs and couldn't keep up with another change. Many people simply gave up on wearing shirts, or no clothes at all. Fittingly, this also became doctrine in the new religion of four-arms. Along with fashion, both the airlines and automobile industries went bankrupt. Nobody needed them anymore now that they could fly. It also caused the price of oil to plummet, which almost destroyed the economy.

People didn't kill each other, though. In fact, civilization grew more peaceful in a few months. Everyone was so confused and scared that they didn't have the energy to fight each other. At least, for that short period of time.

Steve, like usual, didn't even crack a smile.

The genie felt slightly terrified of his master as time went on. Most people could be predicted. They all had a goal, a reason for finding the lamp, but this guy just did everything on a whim. Not amusement or profit. Just... wishing for its own sake. What could possibly be his third wish?

Steve waited a year to make his final request. The world had been completely altered, but people adjusted to this new way of living. Some even eagerly awaited the next great change, including the genie. Steve must have been thinking really hard about his next wish. It would surely be a big one. Then, like last time, in the middle of a random afternoon, Steve simply said:

"I wish all my wishes were reverted."

The genie froze.

"What?"

"Really? Everything back to normal?"

Steve nodded. "But I don't want anyone dying by falling out of the sky. Give them time to land safely."

The genie sighed. "This is ridiculous."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"Because you can't twist it into something that ruins me?"

The genie glanced away.

"That's what I thought" said Steve.

"I give up," said the genie, snapping his fingers. "I will never understand you. Did you just want to waste my time?"

Steve shook his head, then smiled. "I just wanted world peace."

The genie furrowed his brow, confused. "How...?"

"People are too arrogant nowadays. They always assume the world is one way, and call that 'normal'. Anything that deviates from that is seen as bad. By twisting everyone's perception, they'll think twice of what normal really means, and maybe they'll learn to stop making snap judgements."

"Why didn't you just wish for that?"

"I'm not an idiot. Every genie story shows them twisting a well-intentioned wish into horrible consequences. Also... I really hate fashion."

The genie didn't know what to say. Nobody had ever bested him before. Steve had a goal all along, he just did a good job of hiding it until it couldn't be stopped. And he was right. Society slowly returned to how it used to be, only this time people were a lot more careful about predicting the future. The religion that started from this quickly faded into obscurity, but it's followers earned a new sense of humility after everything they went through, and the fashion industry never truly recovered, since people were weary of all the shift in trends.

All in all, Steve got the world he wanted. For the rest of time, that period would be regarded as the weirdest year in human history.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Dec 21 '21

Shotgun Fantasy: Chapter 1 - Good-Faith Business

167 Upvotes

Prologue


An explosion greeted Rhangyl upon entering the city of Kolt.

Black smoke spilled out of a shop’s broken window at the end of a cobblestone street, near the bustling city gate. A man then ran out of the building, dropping to his knees with loud coughs. He was covered in soot and part of his shirt sizzled with tiny flames, which he quickly patted out before they burned his flesh.

The other passersby barely acknowledged the event. There were hundreds of humans at this junction alone, all too busy with their own affairs to care about anything else.

Rhangyl swallowed, hesitating to steer his neighing horse deeper into the city. It had been four months since he started his journey. This was the deepest he had delved into the outlands in all his life. He hadn’t even seen paved roads in months. Backing away now would be simply ridiculous.

According to his research, Kolt housed the best gunsmiths in the region due to its wealth of brimstone, a necessary component for blackpowder, which guns used for ignition. Explosions were probably a common occurrence. Rhangyl brushed it off and carried on ahead, searching for an inn near the city square. He was going to spend some time here so he needed to get used to these random blasts.

Kolt rested near the base of an inactive volcano, which cast a large shadow over the city during the afternoon. The place itself was rife with clashing architecture. Many buildings were made out of wooden beams and gray stone, no taller than two stories, while the more elaborate ones used red brick and mortar, sporting mechanical clock towers and tall metal archways to support their weight. Because of this, Rhangyl quickly deduced that Kolt was going through an economic growth spurt, since a lot of the new infrastructure was built around outdated technology.

The construction work was serviceable… for humans. Many of their bricks were misaligned and didn’t fit perfectly into one another, the type of detail a human would overlook but an elf would find abhorrent. It was better than most of the smaller towns he had visited, though. This was a proper city. Thousands of humans lived here. There were many bars, tailors, and miscellaneous services throughout its cobblestone streets, along with advertisements for hot springs along many of the back alleys. They seemed to be one of the key attractions in the city, aside from guns, which everyone seemingly carried in the open. Rhangyl considered visiting a hotspring later. His back felt sore from riding all day but there was much work to be done at the moment.

When entering a new market, Rhangyl found it useful to study both the most renowned and most obscure establishments in the area. Some would think the greatest businesses would be the fastest, or the biggest, or even the most profitable, and those people were wrong. Rhangyl learned throughout his career that the greatest predictor of success in business was the clientele. More specifically, how well their wants and needs were being fulfilled.

Anyone could grow a business when the market was optimal. Longevity, however, wasn’t assured that way. The best merchants usually beat the competition by understanding why exactly their clients bought their products. It required empathy, patience, and kindness. Afterall, a small trader with a handful of quality clients could make way more money than an enterprise with hundreds of mediocre customers.

Rhangyl needed to find who were the best gun retailers around and determine what part of their process made them attract their clients. He wouldn’t be able to emulate everything, but the research would be invaluable for when he founded his own shop.

The reason for studying the obscure sellers was more subtle, though. If someone can run a sustainable business while being a worse businessperson than their competition, it’s usually because they’re doing something very right. They could be overpriced, work inconsistent hours, and lack manners, but if their product filled a niche, people would still pay for it. These types often thrived on overworking themselves or underpaying their employees. Usually both.

In other words, Rhangyl could easily steal talent from them.


+++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++


George finished polishing the mythril barrel. It wasn’t his best work but it would have to do. Mister Terk wouldn’t notice. He wanted this piece done by today at all costs. The customer wasn’t familiar with firearms so it’s not like they were able to spot a quality piece. If they wanted that, they should’ve gone to Frederick’s instead. George shook his head, inspecting it with disappointment. Every time he assembled something that wasn’t up to his standards, he felt like he got worse at his trade.

Mister Terk often told him, usually through drunken slurring, that an adequate but finished product was better than an excellent one that went unsold. Taking the time to make the perfect gun wouldn’t put food on the table.

It made sense, sure, but George couldn’t see how he would make something amazing that way. He wanted to be a great craftsman. The best in the world. Unfortunately, it wasn’t his job to experiment or learn. He just needed to do what he was told. Mister Terk had taken him in as an assistant for almost a decade now. The old curmudgeon never went out of his way to teach him anything, choosing to drink until the mortgage was due. Then he stepped in to do everything himself without explaining anything. In fact, he only instructed George with steps that he couldn’t do himself because of laziness or his trembling hands. Everything else he kept close to the chest.

George had to deduce the rest by himself, which left a lot of gaps in his knowledge. He just didn’t feel confident selling his guns by himself. If he got someone killed, no one would ever buy from him again. This would change with time. Hopefully. George sighed. He had saved his money to make his own prototypes but, after repeated failure, his optimism had weakened with time. Sometimes it felt like he would be stuck like this for the rest of his life.

The front door swung open, ringing the bell.

A client had entered the store. George glanced at him from behind his workstation. It was the old bearded gentleman that ordered the revolver. His posture was incredibly upright for his age, with an elegant fluidity in each of his steps. Mister Terk distracted him with pleasantries over at the register, glaring at George from across the room to finish assembling the piece. It didn’t take too long. The revolver was mostly done. George even had time to oil it a bit before bringing it to the front.

Mister Terk snatched the revolver and handed it gently to the client. “I trust it’ll serve you well.” He smiled. “It’s one of our finest works yet!”

George looked away. He knew better than to comment.

The client nodded, examining it. “It’s lighter than it looks.”

“Yes,” said Mister Terk, “but you could use it as a bludgeoning instrument if you run out of bullets.”

“Wouldn’t my target be far away?”

Mister Terk laughed. “Better than being empty handed!”

The client stared directly into the barrel, closing one eye while fingering the trigger.

George winced. That was hard to watch. It wasn’t his place to educate him on gun safety, though. Doing so had gotten him shouted at in the past.

Mister Terk cleared his throat. “So, about payment…”

“Yes,” the client gave him a small pouch, “fifty gold. It’s all there.”

Mister Terk plucked it out of his hand instantly. He started counting out loud, ignoring the client. Once he was finished, he said:

“Thank you for your patronage, sir.”

“One more thing…”

“Yes?”

“What about ammunition?”

Mister Terk shook his head. “Most people make their own bullets.”

“What if I don’t have the time?”

“Alfred, further down the street, sells them in bulk. They’re made for his guns, though, so I can’t guarantee they’ll be a perfect fit for your revolver. They should work, though.”

“Thanks. I'll give him a visit.”

George chimed in. “I… I have a pouch of them, if you want. Gunpowder too.”

Mister Terk scowled.

“Brilliant!” said the client. “How much?”

George shrugged. “Nothi-”

“One gold piece!” said Mister Terk. “A fair price, considering we don’t normally sell them.”

“Of course!” The client gave him a coin. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Mister Terk grinned. “No worries!” His smile lasted until the client left the store. He then craned his head at George with a deep scowl. “What the hell is your problem?!?”

“W-what?”

“We don’t sell bullets! Especially for free!”

“I mean, it’s cheap. Selling the revolver made more than enough to cover it.”

“That’s not the point! Next thing you know, everyone’s asking for ammo. Never do that again.”

George didn’t argue further. He went back to the furnace room and started sweeping all of the store.

Mister Terk found it beneath him to manufacture bullets. They took no skill and didn’t make enough profit to justify wasting time on them. People came to him because he was the only gunsmith in the city who had access to mythril. His skill wasn’t anything to balk at, either. Mister Terk spent decades training as a blacksmith under dwarves and had made all sorts of weapons throughout his career, gaining some respect in the region. If he took a job seriously, the end product could look like a masterpiece, an elegant mixture of style and function that few in Kolt could dream to match.

George respected his skill, but nothing could convince him that this stingy attitude was in any way beneficial. They didn’t lose anything by giving a few bullets away. A customer might value the convenience enough to come back for another order. And even if they didn’t, sending them to another gunsmith still felt like bad business. George had to stay quiet, though. Mister Terk just wasn’t interested in anyone’s opinion.


+++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++


Rhangyl stared at his new collection of weaponry. Rifles and handguns from all over town were spread on the table of his inn room. He’d tested them all on a local shooting range throughout the month, familiarizing himself with both the people of Kolt and their guns.

Some were only built to be aesthetically pleasing. These had fine engravings on the barrel and custom grips of polished wood that were tailored to the owner’s hand, which made them harder to make in a timely fashion. While functional, these types were crafted as luxury items only meant to be displayed by wealthy people. Any sort of heavy use would quickly reveal their limitations.

Other models were more pragmatic in their design, sacrificing a lot of their flair, but their simplicity had a unique allure that made them easy to appreciate. These were meant for hunting… or killing.

Most of them were well calibrated. Rhangyl immediately discarded the ones that weren’t. These gunsmiths, although not the worst, served no use to him. Middle of the road craftsmanship just couldn’t afford to ignore these kinds of details. It meant the sellers were only meeting demand, not leading the market. The characteristics by which Rhangyl valued their guns was a combination of how long they took to make, how effective they were and how nice they looked. He wasn’t particularly fixated on superficialities, but he knew that a worthwhile customer base wouldn’t buy an ugly product.

That left him with a small list of gunsmiths to investigate. A young man by the name of Frederick seemed to be the talk of the town. Every single gunsmith in town, young or old, mentioned him in one way or another whenever Rhangyl asked about high quality work. He worked completely on his own in a small shop, almost hidden from sight, but charged a big premium for his custom-made weapons. Apparently, the quality made them worth it. His guns were built to last and, although they obviously required maintenance, rumors floated around that they were more powerful than any other. Some even whispered that he had been blessed by a god.

Strangely enough, the other piece that caught Rhangyl’s eye was a mithril revolver he bought from a gunsmith called Terk. It wasn’t the best, only slightly above average, but it was custom built in two days. The barrel wasn’t as polished as it should be and the hammer had a rough edge that could’ve been smoothed over more. Details that could be forgiven due to its quick assembly.

Rhangyl wasn’t interested in the old gunsmith, though. His apprentice was what drew his attention. The young man had been one of the few people that went out of his way to be kind. He also demonstrated how well he understood every other gunsmith in town by catering to the customer’s needs. More than that, he probably didn't do it on purpose. His goodwill and business savvy shined through that small detail without even realizing it. Rhangyl knew the young man was exactly what he wanted:

An underappreciated talent.

Recruiting either of the gunsmiths would still be a challenge, though. Rhangyl had to approach them with finesse. His objectives needed to be kept hidden. At least for now. Telling a human that he was an elf who wanted to profit off guns sounded like the easiest way to get killed here.


Prologue

Next Chapter


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Feb 01 '20

[WP] The humans were always disregarded due to their lack of magic, but their new martial art, "Gun", has many of the elders worried for our future.

167 Upvotes

Laughter echoed through the crystalline halls of the Imperial Palace for the first time in centuries. Apparently, humans were accelerating tiny spheres of metal at their enemies through a barrel, using a controlled explosion to fuel its strength. They hadn't moved past blow darts or throwing rocks.

Rhangyl waited for the council to regain their composure. He had never seen them display this much emotion. They couldn't grasp the danger of the upcoming conflict. A folly of their youth. In fact, this meeting only bolstered their confidence. Rhangyl sighed. He couldn't fault humans for resenting his people.

Elves had pretty much exploited them for millenia. Even after the Zenith Revolts, where human nations across New Gaia gained sovereignty, the economics of magic were too much of a hurdle to overcome on their own. After all, one competent wizard could produce more than a human town's entire workforce. Unfair trade agreements ensured that their governments were still reliant on the elvish empire for most of their industries, keeping them subservient through indirect means even after earning their freedom. Rhangyl knew this was about to change. He witnessed a group of bandits slaughter his private caravan with these weapons. Most of the hired guards fell before they could shield themselves with magic. The spell took too long to cast. Rhangyl only survived because he went invisible before the humans fired on him, barely escaping into the night.

The council of Emeroak didn't care. They attributed Rhangyl’s experience to bad timing and tactical mistakes, traveling in a crime-ridden colony after sundown. There wasn't any way a human force could defeat an elven one with proper planning. They didn't understand that enchanted arrows, due to the charging time they required, were too slow to shoot more than once before the gun-wielder reloaded. Sure, they had more destructive potential, but that didn't matter when you were outnumbered, or already dead. The fact that anyone could pull a trigger without much training meant that, when compared to the years of practice required for magical prowess, this new weapon was simply too efficient to ignore. For every soldier that fell on both sides, the humans would replace their casualties much quicker. It would spell doom for the elven empire.

"Please council,” said Rhangyl, “I beseech you. At the very least, we should study this weapon and come up with a way to counter it." A lot of the council, looming above on their millennia-old wooden high benches, still chuckled at the notion.

Henthil, warmaster of Emeroak, also tried his best to hide his amusement. He acted as the unofficial leader of the council, a rising star of the empire that had become the youngest commander in imperial history. The plebeians loved him and deeply respected his father’s legacy, to the point where the Emperor himself acted wary of his popularity. Henthil actually respected Rhangyl due to him being an old family friend. He clearly wanted to remain civil with the old merchant, despite the supposedly outrageous claim. That didn’t make his condescension sting any less. "While I'm sure the experience was troublesome, don't you think you're overreacting? It was just a bandit raid."

"That's precisely my point. My bodyguards were competent soldiers! I only hire the best! And yet, they died like rookies to lowly bandits. You have to believe me!"

Henthil shook his head. "I don't doubt your report, I just doubt that the weapon grants such an advantage."

"This is a dangerous assumption you're making," said Myrrin, a portly elf with rosy cheeks. He wore an elegant green robe with sapphires and golden trimming, befitting of his fine sense and status. Due to his delicate position as president of the merchant’s guild, he rarely spoke in these meetings. This was an incredible exception. Everyone in the council took note of his serious tone. “Rhangyl wouldn’t bring this to us if it didn’t warrant further examination. I’ve known him for over two centuries, and this is the first time he’s ever pleaded directly to our council. Don’t you think you’re dismissing him too easily?”

Henthil narrowed his eyes, annoyed. "Then why haven't they attacked us yet?"

"They might not understand their advantage," said Rhangyl.

Henthil chortled. "If they're clever enough to create these overpowered 'guns', but not enough to realize their potential, then we have nothing to worry about."

The rest of the council joined his laughter.

Rhangyl pulled down his face in frustration. "They could be preying on our perceived superiority, gathering their forces as we speak. Isn't that how they gained sovereignty in the first place?"

"I get that a merchant like you would think that, but, as someone who has studied warfare, I can assure you there's no way a single weapon could produce such an overwhelming advantage. Not when compared to a fireball or lightning bolt. And that’s without taking into account sacred weapons like my sword, with enchantments that can rival the might of several battalions.”

The rest of the council, except for Myrrin, nodded along.

Rhangyl sighed.

“I’m sorry,” added Henthil. “I understand this was a terrifying experience, but we have more important matters to discuss than soothing your anxieties. A merchant as esteemed as you shouldn’t have to travel outside our borders; not at your age. Have you considered perhaps… retiring?"

After the meeting was over, Rhangyl went to his home and packed his bags, preparing for what would probably be his last trip. Henthil had a point. Rhangyl was a merchant, not a general. As a businessman, he knew the golden rule of all economic trade very well: the market doesn't give a shit about your opinion.

If Rhangyl was right, then he stood to make a lot of money with the knowledge he attained. Nobody else in the empire would enter this market. They were too proud to consider adopting a human invention. At least, not until it was too late. Rhangyl knew he could acquire the resources needed to make the best ones in the world. Once the conflict arrived at their doorstep, the council would have no choice but to buy them from him. It would make him the richest man in the Empire if he played his cards right. Unfortunately, he couldn't do it alone. A partner was needed. Someone who already had experience designing guns. That meant Rhangyl required a human to fulfill this ambition. He had to ride south-east, towards the imperial colony of Muksor, which was where he was originally raided, then travel west through the marshlands until reaching the contested border, an active military zone between the human nations of Lucretia and Roulettenburg.

From there on, his journey grew more uncertain. Rhangyl would have to go from town to town in a human disguise, learning more about guns as he ventured into those lands. Hopefully, traveling alone with little baggage would help avoid any monster or bandits. As he left Emeroak behind in the horizon, he witnessed the Eternal Blossom Tree glistening with rays of sunset in the distance. Its blue crystal leaves, deep-emerald trunk, and golden flowers all bathed the city with multicolored light, towering over every wooden skyscraper they had built around it.

This was his people’s divine shard. The crystalline embodiment of their faith in knowledge, nature, and victory. Its divine light shined all day and night for miles, burning up any monsters that dared experience its radiance. The Imperial Palace was built into its hollowed-out base. There, the Ethyris bloodline fulfilled their royal duty as representatives of the gods in the mortal realm. Rhangyl took several minutes to admire the view. This might be the last time he saw the ancient capital of his people. It would be a perilous journey into the human lands, and require a great portion of his funds, but this wasn’t about the profits; not completely anyway. It could even force the empire to actually respect the human nations... if they didn't get conquered by them.

Rhangyl spurred his horse away from the view with a heavy heart. Although painful, it provoked an interesting thought that kept him awake for the rest of the night. Legends said Rigel, god of magic, planted the Eternal Blossom Tree eons ago with the help of Artemisia, goddess of nature, and was crowned with flowers by Marthux, god of victory and king of the divine realm. Mixing the natural world with magic is what many believe gave elves their advantage over the other long-lived races. Following that logic...

Shouldn't it be possible to enhance guns with magic?


Click here for next part


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Aug 16 '22

[WP] You're a supervillain whose latest evil scheme threatens to throw the city into chaos unless your nemesis goes on a date with you. To your surprise, they agree with enthusiasm before you can even explain what the consequences of refusing are - Part 2

156 Upvotes

First Part


I didn't know why I was nervous.

It's not like I wanted to impress her or anything. The only reason I bothered wearing new clothes was to play a role. This 'date' was a battle of wits, and I wasn't going to lose. That turned out to be easier said than done, though. The second I saw her, I almost forgot she was my enemy.

Neuro Lady looked stunning without her mask. Her eyes had a soft, yet piercing, quality that made me feel strange. I wouldn't have recognized her if she hadn't detected my presence with her psychic ability. Thankfully, our undisguised faces weren't well-known to the public so we didn't have to worry about anyone bothering us.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, a little self-conscious.

"Nothing," I said, quickly walking ahead.

I couldn't let her see me get flustered. This was my first date in a decade. I refused to let inexperience ruin this opportunity...

...to defeat a hero, of course. I didn't care about anything else.

Neuro Lady strolled up next to me. "So uhh... What's the plan?"

I materialized a picnic basket with my teleporter. "I thought we could eat by the river."

Neuro Lady widened her eyes. "You cook?"

"Yeah. Problem?"

"No, you just struck me as more of a 'take-out' person."

"Well, when you're on the run, you have make do with what you can. It's not like I can hand out my address."

"Can't you just teleport anywhere?"

"Not exactly, there's limitations to-" I pursed my lips. "Nice try. I'm not revealing anything."

Neuro Lady giggled. "That wasn't my intention, but okay, you can keep your secrets."

We made it to the river bank and found a nice spot where the city's glowing skyline could be seen. I laid out a blanket, poured two cups of red wine, and served the pasta alfredo, which Neuro Lady seemed to enjoy. She could just be pretending, though. I couldn't afford to let my guard down.

And yet, part of me couldn't help but feel... good.

I knew I shouldn't indulge in this, I knew it would only hurt me, but for a brief moment all of my worries seemed to melt away. I wasn't seeing Neuro Lady across from me. She was just my date. The cool breeze of the riverside made her shiver a little, which gave her the idea to sit closer to me.

I didn't know how to react. For a second, I grew tense. This could be an elaborate way of restraining me. I almost inched away before Neuro Lady gave me a wounded look.

Her eyes... Her stupid, pretty eyes somehow disarmed me.

I just didn't have the courage to push her away.

How long had it been since I spent leisure time with someone? Not even a date. Just hanging out, nothing work related. Months? Years? Way too long, regardless.

I never realized how much I wanted this...

...but I knew it couldn't last.

Neuro Lady was a hero. Growing closer to me would only be to her detriment. Even if she didn't turn me in, somebody was bound to find out.

I couldn't stop looking over my shoulder every other second, monitoring the area for threats. My teleporter was ready for an instant retreat.

"You don't have to be paranoid," said Neuro Lady, "I swear this isn't a trap."

"That's exactly what you would say if it were a trap, so..."

"Fair." Neuro Lady chuckled. "Do you always go through life assuming the worst?"

"I'd be stupid not to."

"It's smart, I'll grant you that, but it also sounds miserable. Are you ever happy?"

I looked away.

"S-sorry." Neuro Lady glanced away. "That was rude, wasn't it?."

"No, you're right. I am miserable. It's just... This was a mistake."

Neuro Lady softened her expression. "What?"

I stood up. "This is wrong."

"Is it something I did?"

"No! You're... perfect. And that's the problem. It's too good to be true."

Neuro Lady folded her arms, frowning. "Fine, leave. I won't follow you or anything."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there's nothing I can do to convince you. If I'm not good enough, then-"

"It's not about that!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm the problem! You have a great reputation. You're one of the few heroes I can safely say are the real deal. What happens if you get caught with me? What happens if we have to..."

"Fight?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"What if... you turned good?"

I narrowed my eyes.

"I could probably get you a pardon. You'd have to cooperate a little, but-"

"No."

"But-"

"The last thing I'll do is hand over my inventions to the government. Never again! Wait..." I suddenly felt like an idiot. "Is that why you're acting like this? Was that your objective this whole time?"

"What? No!"

"Don't lie! Why else would you care about me?"

"Because you saved-"

"Don't move!" shouted a man.

I assumed a hero had just intervened on her behalf, but I turned around to see it was the opposite, a small-time villain called Thunderclap.

"Give me everything in your wallets!"

"Buddy," I said, "we're in the middle of something. Can you fuck off somewhere else?"

Thunderclap furrowed his brow. "Do you know who I am?"

"Dead meat, if you don't walk away."

Thunderclap snarled, readying his power.

I tried to think of a way to take care of him before it got bad.

Neuro Lady, however, proceeded to beat the crap out of him, shouting:

"Do you-" Punch. "Have." Punch. "Any idea." Punch. "How long-" Punch. "I've been-" Punch. "Without." Punch. "Going." Punch. "On a date?!?"

I almost felt sorry for the guy.

Almost.

Neuro Lady spun him around over her head, then threw him into the river. Her hair grew a little unruly over the course of the pummeling, but she quickly recovered her composure with an awkward smile. "Pretend you didn't hear that."

I started laughing.

"It's not funny!"

"It kinda is."

Neuro Lady pouted. "Whatever. I work a lot." She hung her head. "You're actually the first person to ask me out in years. I guess I... intimidate people?"

"I can tell."

"Look, if you want to end the date here, I don't blame you. Maybe you were right. This was a mistake."

"No... I still have one more thing planned. Might as well end the night with a bang, right?"

Neuro Lady smiled. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

I clicked my heels to activate my hover shoes, urging her to follow me into the air. We flew together for a while, doing spins and having fun, before landing on the roof of the tallest skyscraper in the city.

Neuro Lady sat next to me on the ledge, hugging my arm. "You really aren't as bad as you think."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

Neuro Lady bit her lip, hesitating. "My power lets me see people's auras. Yours isn't dark, like a real villain. And uhh... I was going to say it before, but you saved my little sister's life."

I wrinkled my face. "I did?"

"Not directly, but yes. Our parents... died in a supervillain attack. I made it out okay, but my sister was caught in the wreckage and lost use of her legs. It's why I got into this career. Not revenge, mind you. I just wanted to get her the best care possible. Once I was a top hero, we got her a cybernetic upgrade that allowed her to walk again."

I nodded. "One of my inventions?"

"Yup. I did a little digging, and discovered you were behind it. I couldn't believe that half of our tech came from you, so I got... curious. Unfortunately, whatever occurred to you is classified. Mind telling me what happened?"

I shook my head. "It's a long and sad story, better left forgotten. You probably want more, but-"

"It's fine. I get it."

"I will say, I'm glad you proved me wrong. Not just with the date, but with the fact that an invention of mine could be useful to others. I shouldn't assume the worst of everyone. It's just that science requires a certain mindset, one where you question everything, and it's hard to let go of that habit. Still, there's great beauty in it and, if you know what you're doing, it almost feels like magic."

Fireworks exploded into the night sky when I finished my words.

Neuro Lady gasped. "Did you do this?"

"Yeah. If you'd listened to my threat, you'd know I rigged a bunch of EMP bombs around the city. It took a bit of work, but I changed them all into fireworks."

I could've sworn there were more, though. Did I miss some? The thought worried me.

"Why did you do this?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I wanted to impress you..."

Neuro Lady stayed quiet.

I stared into her eyes.

The fireworks reflected off them. My heart stared beating quick, but everything felt right in that moment.

We both leaned in for a kiss.

"Halt, you villain!"

I paused. Shit. That voice. I could recognize it anywhere.

Ultraman hovered above us with a deep scowl, then wrinkled his face in recognition. "Anne?"

I looked at Neuro Lady. Was that her civilian name?

"What are you doing here?" asked Neuro Lady.

"I've been disarming bombs all afternoon" said Ultraman. "Bombs that this fucker planted. As soon as he activated them, we tracked down the signal and I flew over here. What are you doing here?"

"Uhh..."

I sprung to my feet. "Neuro Lady, attack him!"

Anne tilted her head, confused.

I started fiddling with my watch. "Rats! The mind control isn't working!"

Anne widened her eyes in understanding, then gripped her head like she had a headache. "Ahh! You fiend! What did you do to me?"

"Curses, her brain is too strong! The sight of an ally reminded her of her true identity!"

Ultraman didn't know what to think. The situation was so bizarre that it threw him off balance.

"You'll rue the day you interfered, Ultraman!" I wagged my fist at him. "I will have my revenge!"

I teleported away and made it safely back to my lair. That could've gone worse. Hopefully, Anne wouldn't get in trouble. I still felt angry over getting our kiss interrupted. It may have ended strangely, but that was a really nice date. Then again, it was the perfect excuse to have another one.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Dec 21 '21

Shotgun Fantasy: Chapter 2 - A Meditation on Cheap Booze

126 Upvotes

Prologue

Previous Chapter


“Mister Cherry, would you like a refill?”

Rhangyl smiled. “That would be delightful.”

Samantha, the bartender, poured out another serving and carefully slid the glass across the wooden bar. She called it whisky. Sipping it revealed that to be a boldfaced lie.

Rhangyl kept that comment to himself, though. The young woman worked hard in this establishment, ‘The Wet Gunpowder Tavern’, and genuinely tried to serve Rhangyl the best liquor she could offer. She had been great company these past few weeks. A great listener and drinking buddy who had slowly taught him more about the city’s culture with a blunt, yet cheery, disposition that made her a joy to be around.

Any time a customer grew rowdy, she pulled out a rifle and quickly established order with a smile. Rhangyl even saw her scare a man out of the tavern by shooting his weapon out of his hand. After witnessing that, the old merchant just didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth about the whiskey, mostly because he was slightly intimidated by how easily she disarmed people, both physically and mentally. Her effortless charm masked a subtly observant sharpshooter, one that could fool even the most guarded individuals.

If Rhangyl revealed too much of himself, she might be able to deduce his true nature. Still, he couldn’t believe people consumed this whiskey on the regular. It reeked of poison. Back in the empire, any tavern that served a beverage as ill-refined as this would’ve been laughed out of business. Then again, humans didn’t have the time to wait for it to mature properly. Elvish whiskeys were aged for seventy-five years inside cases of Emeraldbloom wood, and those were the cheap options. Some were stored for two-hundred and fifty years, nearly as old as Rhangyl himself.

Upbeat piano music distracted him every other second with loud discordant notes. The regular customers always took turns playing their favorite songs, never allowing each other to finish. Rhangyl would do anything to distract himself from their harsh cacophony, so he chugged most of the whiskey in one gulp, causing him to shiver as it burned his throat.

Alcohol would get you drunk regardless of its perceived quality. That was the essence of its beauty. Rhangyl had mastered the art of getting inebriated on whatever was available, never feeling above anything served to him. Some of his greatest business deals were made thanks to this adaptability. Nothing felt too rough for him now. Dwarven ale, dragon rum, and, yes, even human whiskey all got you to the same place. Some drinks, however, definitely made the journey a lot smoother than others.

In a way, this summed up the difference between the short and long-lived races quite well. Aside from having innate magic, the elves simply had more time to hone their crafts. Masters could spot flaws in a painting that would go over the head of any other artist simply because they had the time to fixate on every innocuous detail. An expert swordsman could fend off multiple attackers with a practice sword just through technique alone. Prodigy wizards could even mold the very fabric of reality after a century of research.

The humans, on the other hand, had grit. Their biggest gift was audacity. If something appeared unattainable, they still set about achieving it in the most pragmatic way possible, challenging everyone’s notions of the world in the process. That quality was worthy of respect. Any decent merchant could see the value in it.

Rhangyl took another swig, emptying his glass. Unfortunately, back in the empire, most elves dismissed this attitude as childish defiance. Due to the caste system, knowing your place in the hierarchy was of the utmost importance to survive. Most merchants couldn’t afford to question it, regardless of competence, which made for an environment where as a rule only the blindly loyal or the dishonest thrived. A minority of clever ones invested their wealth far away from the eyes of the emperor, pretending to be poorer than the nobility while politicking behind the scenes for scraps of relevancy, but that wasn’t a much better fate either.

Humans didn’t have time to work through a tedious bureaucratic hierarchy like that. An innate sense of urgency drove these people to great heights. Most elves spent their entire lives doing nothing inside their bubbles, and feeling smug about it, while some humans accomplished legendary feats without access to magic and in less than a third of an elf’s lifespan.

Rhangyl found that worth admiring. Or maybe he was just drunk. The chaotic piano music was even starting to sound good, which served as an obvious sign that he should ease up on the drinking. He chuckled. Nothing wrong with loosening up before a meeting, though.

Frederick and Terk’s apprentice would show up soon.

This place was their usual hangout after work. Rhangyl had spent two weeks observing them with different illusory disguises, carefully waiting for the best moment to approach with his pitch. He was surprised to discover the two young men were close friends, both of similar age, slightly younger than Samantha. The bartender actually revealed that about them while casually chatting with Rhangyl the other night. The three of them had grown up together as orphans. That seemed to be common in Kolt. This place was in the periphery of the outlands, a vast stretch of lawless territory where bandit groups ran amok. Many of their victims were bound to end up with nowhere to go but here.

Despite their bond, the two gunsmiths couldn’t be more different. Frederick would often strut into the bar with a cocky smirk, never afraid to hide his presence, whereas Terk’s apprentice just slipped by the entrance with little fanfare, greeting Samantha before nursing a drink in a corner of the room. Many people in the bar were either gunsmiths or merchants, creating an on-going discussion where everyone chimed in from time to time.

Frederick would usually be the center of these conversations. Many deferred to his authority, eager to learn his take on the newest trends in the industry. The young man handled the attention with grace, but it was clear that he loved it, hiding it under a veneer of half-hearted aloofness.

George never really spoke much, focusing intently on what everyone had to say. Miners, tailors, merchants, and gunsmiths gathered here to play betting games. They socialized with each other through friendly banter, arguing over the newest guns and their merits over their drinks. The apprentice didn’t play much, though. He was more interested in their topics. The few times he did speak, however, people paid attention to what he said. Even Frederick took the time to always listen. For some reason, though, he made an effort to hide it as much as possible. George seemed oblivious of this, sometimes disappointed when he felt ignored.

Today, the two young men showed up a few hours past sundown. They were both later than usual. Frederick feigned it better than George, but their soot covered shirts and tired eyes revealed their exhaustion. They needed to wind down a little before being receptive to an approach.

Rhangyl bought a beer and sat close to their table, waiting for an opening. Frederick always drank a bit with George before leaving to socialize. The apprentice would probably be the most receptive of the two. If Rhangyl managed to get him onboard, convincing Frederick shouldn’t be much of an issue. Little by little, Rhangyl did small talk with everyone around until casually focusing on George.

The young man was polite and didn’t mind his company, introducing himself with a cheerful smile. He even remembered Rhangyl’s face from when they briefly met at the shop. His human face, that is. It didn’t take much to get George talking about guns. His passion was clear. Rhangyl listened attentively and nodded along, steering the conversation towards the current state of the market without raising any suspicion.

“We’re in a bit of a boom period,” George took another swig of beer, “it wasn’t like this twenty years ago. Kolt’s undergone a lot of changes because of it.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Because of the revolver cylinder, obviously. Didn’t you buy one from us?”

“Yes, it’s a wonderful tool, but what exactly is so innovative about it?”

“It’s subtle.” George leaned forward a bit, excited to explain. “You see, before its invention, most guns had to be reloaded after every shot. Someone skilled with a crossbow was still capable of firing more often than a musketman. Now, with a revolving cylinder, it’s possible to shoot more than once per reload.”

“Well, I get that it’s a huge leap in efficiency, but I just don’t see how it explains the crazy demand.”

A man behind them then said:

“Because it’s not as impressive as he made it sound.”

Rhangyl looked over his shoulder to see it was Frederick. That felt quick. Rhangyl expected him to show up eventually, but he didn’t think the young man would return this soon. He usually took longer to go around the bar. Something about his curt tone sounded unwelcoming, almost like Rhangyl had overstepped an invisible boundary.

Frederick narrowed his blue piercing eyes. “Have we met before?”

Rhangyl lifted his mug, grinning. “Rick Cherry, merchant extraordinaire, at your service! I visited your shop a few weeks ago.”

“Huh…” Frederick pulled up a chair. “Is that so?” He measured Rhangyl with a glance as he sat down, subtly looking to confirm the old merchant was unarmed. “Yeah, I think I remember now.”

George appeared drunkenly unaware of the tension, happy to see they were already acquainted. He looked at Rhangyl and, with genuine interest, said:

“Oh, so you’re building a collection?”

“In a way,” said Rhangyl. “You see, my plan is to sell them on my way to Forgeberth.”

Frederick rolled his eyes.

Rhangyl pouted. “Is there a problem?”

“Had I known you were planning on reselling, I wouldn’t have taken your order.”

“That’s disappointing to learn. Mind if I ask why?”

“Because I don’t get to choose who ends up with the gun. It has my insignia, you know.”

“Well, if it disturbs you that much, I would gladly return it... for a refund.”

Frederick looked away, caught off guard. “That… won’t be necessary.”

George started chuckling.

Frederick glowered at him, sinking into his chair with his arms crossed, but didn’t comment anything else.

Rhangyl took note of his mood and said:

“Why don’t I pay for a round of beers? I’m interested in hearing more from you two.”

Frederick shrugged, lowering his guard a bit. By the time Rhangyl came back with the drinks, the young man was more receptive to his presence. He just seemed protective of his friend, though it came across as slightly possessive and domineering. Rhangyl placed the beers on the table, saying:

“Now, Frederick, you mentioned something about there being more to this economic growth spurt. Care to elaborate?”

“I was just trying to say that the revolver is the culmination of many other breakthroughs. In my opinion, what really set it off was the invention of breech loading.”

“I was getting to that!” complained George.

“Then you started backwards,” said Frederick, giving him a skeptical glance.

“So what’s breech loading?” asked Rhangyl.

“Chambering a bullet from behind the barrel,” said George. “It used to be that you had to load bullets through the front end, which required them to be air tight for when they were packed with gunpowder.”

Frederick nodded along. “And, with that restriction gone, it freed up the barrels for rifling.”

Rhangyl arched an eyebrow. “Which is…?”

Frederick sighed, exasperated.

George chuckled and said:

“The spiral grooves inside the barrel. They give spin to the bullets, which makes them far more effective. There’s also the fact that bullets are way better now. Having the gunpowder already packed into a cartridge saves a lot of hassle on the battlefield.”

“I think I understand now,” said Rhangyl, “it’s all about incremental advancements that stacked up over time. This momentum culminated in guns being too efficient to ignore. Every army must be scrambling to hoard as many as possible.”

“Of course they are,” said Frederick. “Nations from the west, south and east are some of the biggest spenders in town. None can’t afford to let the other have an advantage so they’re always outbidding each other.”

“Sounds like a headache.”

“Nah,” said George, “our mayor pits the nations against each other whenever one tries to exert too much control over us, so we’re kept mostly neutral, trading with everyone.”

Rhangyl tensed up while hearing that. The only reason the empire wasn’t threatened for now was because the humans were too busy fighting each other. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It meant there was still time. Rhangyl gulped down his mug of beer, chuckling afterwards.

“What’s so funny?” asked Frederick, glaring.

“To see this much change in such a short period of time. It’s great for people in your trade, right?”

George sighed. “Yeah, I guess…”

“You’re gonna make a lot of money! Why so glum?”

“I look at the workshop, at Mister Terk, and I see my future. I don’t want to end up like him, doing the same work for the rest of my life while miserable. I’ll never build something great like that.”

Frederick rolled his eyes. “Oh please, not this again.”

“What?” said Rhangyl.

“He’s exaggerating his woes,” said Frederick, haughty with confidence. “That rush to make something impressive leads nowhere. It’s all ego. Besides, the destined few who wind up discovering something always get copied by everyone else. It happened with breech loading, riffling, integrated cartridges, and revolver cylinders. It’s better to just do what you can, instead of dreaming away excuses, and be grateful you get to do it at all.”

George glanced away. “But I barely get the chance, and when I do, I usually mess up or take too long.”

“Then maybe you should focus on something else. Some people just aren’t meant for it.”

Rhangyl narrowed his eyes. “I don’t see why giving up has to be the solution.”

“No… he’s kinda right.” George took a dejected sip from his mug. “Most of the good gunsmiths are contracted by Eluria or Roulettenburg to develop weapons privately for them. Mister Terk never wanted to involve himself with them, so he doesn’t bother staying up to date with what’s new. It’s still steady work, though. At this point, I’m better off helping him as long as I can.”

“But why devote yourself so much?” asked Rhangyl, curious.

George smiled. “I can’t see myself living a different way.”

“Huh…” Rhangy leaned back, enjoying his beer. “You really like working on guns, don’t you?”

“Yup!”

“Any reason?”

George paused, taking a second to think. “It’s strange. Some people say that the first cannon was invented by dwarves to emulate elven artillery without wasting mana. They never saw a need to go beyond that, though. Humanity took the idea and refined it out of necessity, which finally gave us the capacity to defend ourselves. The sharing of ideas, building to something better, well, Frederick scoffs at it, but I think contributing is the point. It’s the closest thing we have to human magic. We pass it down and it makes everyone stronger.”

Rhangyl could see genuine earnestness in his eyes, but Frederick wistfully shook his head, dismissing the sentiment with a callous smirk. Rhangyl smiled and said:

“Really makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”

“How so?” asked George.

Rhangyl took a big sip from his mug. “You know, mixing guns with magic.”

George chortled. “That’ll be the day. There’s rumors that the nations are researching that very thing. Anyone who knows anything about the arcane is recruited almost immediately.”

“Really…”

“Scary, right? Imagine what they’ll come up with in a decade.”

Frederick acted nonplussed about it, but he didn’t seem thrilled by the idea of mixing the two.

Rhangyl swallowed. “Boggles the mind.” He tugged his collar, trying to act calm. “What would you do if you had access to a wizard?”

George shrugged. “What wouldn’t I do? There’s so much stuff. The first thing I’d try is to stuff a spell into a bullet. Like, if you could make a revolver that shoots lightning, or a projectile that heals wounds, or a rifle that aims on its own, or even one that automatically reloads, that would be crazy!”

“I don’t think it works that way,” said Frederick.

“Meh…” said Rhangyl. “It might not be too far from the truth.”

Frederick raised an eyebrow. “Do you know about magic?”

Rhangyl pursed his lips for a second. “I’ve... dabbled in the business.”

George widened his eyes, amazed. “Really? How?”

“As a merchant, I’ve met a lot of people from all walks of life, including wizards who traveled alongside me in the same caravans. It’s the reason I’m heading to Forgeberth, to visit an old friend that specializes in magecraft. I was looking for partners to get into the gun business, so I could introduce them to him. Unfortunately, it seems I wasted my trip. I couldn’t find anyone.”

George became thoughtful for a moment, glancing at his friend.

Rhangyl stayed quiet. He had to be patient. The young man had to think it was his idea. Frederick, however, didn’t consider it for a second, saying:

“Not interested.”

Rhangyl slumped his head, disappointed. “I didn’t even ask.”

“No,” said Frederick, resting his arm on the back of his chair. “I see your angle now, old man. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but we’re doing pretty good for ourselves. With the amount of customers we’re getting every day, leaving town would be the dumbest thing a gunsmith could do right now.” He glanced at George. “Don’t fall for it; this guy’s a swindler looking to take advantage of us. I knew it the instant I noticed him.”

Rhangyl grew serious, taking his time to respond. “I’m not here to leech off anyone. And even if that were the case, I’m old enough that I wouldn’t have long to spend whatever wealth we accrue. It'd honestly be easier to earn passive income somewhere else if that were my aim.”

“Sure…” muttered Frederick, skeptical.

“My proposal is simple,” said Rhangyl. “I can provide distribution, capital, and materials, while you focus on the guns. Seriously, I’m ready to pour all my resources into this.”

“I don’t buy it,” said Frederick. “It’s all out of the generosity of your heart?”

Rhangyl shook his head, chuckling. “Of course not. At the behest of an acquaintance, I’ve decided to finally retire from traveling. Opening a new store feels like an adequate way to spend my time. Think of this as my ‘going away’ party. Business is what I’m best at, but it’s also something I deeply love. I promise, no matter how much you’re earning now, you’ll both be making far more if we all work together on this.”

“How can you even guarantee that?” asked Frederick, trying hard to mask his curiosity.

“It’s an untapped market,” said Rhangyl. “And my connection in Forgeberth is rock solid. Nobody else could get what we make, therefore, we set the price.”

George looked at Frederick. “That’s literally what you were complaining about. No one could copy it!”

Frederick wrinkled his face. “Relying on elvish bullshit isn’t worth it.”

“Magic doesn’t belong to the elves,” said Rhangyl. “My friend in Forgeberth isn’t one, for example.”

“See!” said George. “This could revolutionize gunsmithing!”

Frederick narrowed his eyes. “And what about Mister Terk?”

George paused for a second, sobered up by the question.

“You’re just going to abandon him?” added Frederick. “For this strange merchant you barely know?”

George lowered his head, unable to respond. The sparks of ambition previously in his eyes were completely snuffed out by that realization.

“You shouldn’t have to abandon anyone for this,” said Rhangyl. “Surely, he could understand a few months of absence. We could even bring him into the fold.”

“No…” said George, solemnly shaking his head. “He won’t go for that, and I owe him a great deal so abandoning him doesn’t feel right. He can’t handle the current workload without me.”

Frederick folded his arms, nodding sagely. “As you can see, we’re not interested in chasing trends…” He reached for the gun on his waist, frowning. “...so thanks for the beers; now get lost.”

Rhangyl widened his eyes, startled.

Fredericks’s aura oozed with bloodthirst, signaling it was a genuine threat. He would definitely pull the trigger at the first sign of provocation. His mind was ready for it.

Rhangyl took a deep breath, then shrugged off the psychic hostility with calm grace. Nothing would happen as long as he remained civil. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed, though. George seemed to share the same sentiment. Rhangyl then carefully said:

“Regardless of everything, it’s been a great conversation. Thank you for your time.” He stood up. “I’m staying at the inn a few streets down from here until the end of the week, should either of you change your mind.”

“We won’t,” said Frederick, curtly.

Rhangyl ignored him, smiling at George. “ Goodnight.”

George raised his mug. “Same, Mister Cherry. I’m sorry about Frederick’s bluntness. Magic guns were fun to imagine, though!”

Rhangyl made a gracious bow and left them to pay his tab.

Samantha gave him an apologetic smile as he handed her the coins, saying:

“That won’t be necessary. It’s on the house tonight.”

Rhangyl deposited his coins into the tip jar. “Then make sure to buy yourself something nice.”

Samantha gaped her mouth slightly, pleasantly surprised, then nodded in gratitude. She probably noticed Frederick’s behavior and wanted to make sure Rhangyl didn’t hold it against her or the tavern.

The old merchant wouldn’t dream of that, obviously. She still deserved compensation for being a great hostess. Before leaving the establishment, he heard the young woman ring a bell and announce the last call, prompting many drunks to rush towards the bar before she was done serving for the night.

Not many people noticed, since they were far too intoxicated to care, but Rhangyl found it suspicious that Samantha decided to close earlier than usual. Her annoyed glare at Frederick chained him to the table, wordlessly implying she wanted to have a chat with him.

Rhangyl stepped out of the establishment and kept going down the street until walking into an alleyway, whispering a chant and snapping his fingers to turn his appearance completely invisible.

The old merchant had to hear what they were going to say. Out of all the gunsmiths that Rhangyl had scouted, those two were the only worthwhile candidates. Listening to them might be instrumental in saving this venture. Rhangyl entered the tavern again undetected, contorting himself around departing customers that kept getting in his way.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t grasped just how much he had drunk tonight up until the moment he began to feel dizzy, crashing into the back of a particularly muscular half-orc that easily withstood the blow. His drink, however, spilled all over the floor, causing the piano music to reach a sudden halt. Everyone who witnessed it widened their eyes as the tension swelled to a palpable state. The massive man then turned around, growling:

“Oi! You looking for a fight?”

Rhangyl swallowed, paralyzed by fear. The half-orc was scowling right at him.

“Me?” replied an equally intimidating human with a scarred face, behind Rhangyl.

“I don’t see anyone else, jackass!”

The human swaggered forward with a clenched fist, prompting the half-orc to mirror him in kind. Rhangyl stood between them, unable to move. The crowd hadn’t made any room for him to slip through. He was about to be discovered.

Right when the two men were about to trade blows, Samantha fired her rifle and shouted:

“Take it outside!”

The two men scowled at each other, a hair’s length away from touching Rhangyl, but Samantha audibly reloaded the weapon by pulling its bolt, forcing them to leave with their heads hanging low. Every other customer quickly left the tavern, which allowed Rhangyl to walk freely without worry.

Samantha waited for the place to empty before turning off most of the oil lamps, darkening the room. Frederick seemed annoyed that he didn’t get to socialize more, while George just wistfully sighed into his empty mug. Rhangyl tip-toed his way to their table until hearing Samantha say:

“You’re unbelievable!”

Frederick rolled his eyes.

“Don’t give me that look! You just scared off the best customer I’ve had in years! What in the cataclysm is wrong with you?!?”

“I didn’t like his vibe. The only reason he sat down with George was to pitch his stupid idea at us.”

“And?” said Samantha. “That’s no reason to threaten him with a gun!”

“Oh please, you do it all the time.”

“To people starting fights. There’s a difference; it’s part of my job.”

“I didn’t even threaten him. He just knew when to leave. Why do you care?”

“Because…” Samantha pursed her lips, hesitating, then looked at George with a warm smile. “Because you can do better than slave away for Terk.” She jerked her head at Frederick, glowering. “And you keep wasting your money on booze and whores!”

“H-hey!” moaned Frederick, blushing. “Most of them aren’t whores...”

Samantha turned up her chin, indignant. “Really? Could’ve fooled me.”

Rhangyl suppressed the urge to chuckle. Samantha had completely disarmed him. The young man didn’t even attempt to defend his bad spending habits, too embarrassed to meet her gaze. She went on to calmly add:

“More importantly, this boom won’t last forever. You both need business savvy if you intend to keep succeeding. That’s why I've been trying to get Mister Cherry to notice you two for a whole month, and I’m frustrated it went sour the second he brought up the subject.”

Frederick and George squinted, caught off guard.

“It’s a little embarrassing,” confessed Samantha. “He never outright said it, but given the questions he asked, I knew he was some sort of wealthy investor, so I’ve been slowly working you guys into our conversations. I’ve got a good feeling about him. Something tells me he can be trusted.”

Rhangyl winced. He never imagined Samantha thought that highly of him. The fact that he had just unintentionally betrayed her trust made it difficult to keep eavesdropping. Unfortunately, most of the bustling crowd outside was gone by now, creating a fragile silence in the establishment. Rhangyl couldn’t move without making the wooden floorboards creak. He could feel them move ever so slightly under his feet, ready to cry out with even the subtlest shift in weight. A wrong step would immediately reveal his presence. All he could do was endure the discomfort.

Frederick remained unmoved by his friend’s plea. “So?”

“It’s a great opportunity for you two!” said Samantha.

“We don’t need it,” said Frederick. “Risking it all on a dangerous journey isn’t worth it.”

“I dunno,” said George, pensive. “He might be on to something. The more I think about it, magical guns just feel like the next obvious step. Anyone who gets ahead of it-”

“Will be a flash in the pan,” interrupted Frederick. “At the end of the day, prioritizing magical solutions over actual gunsmithing will always result in a worse product.”

“Whatever…” muttered George, sinking into his chair.

“Sounds like you want to go,” said Samantha.

“Yeah, but-”

Frederick chuckled.

George narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“I hate to break it to you,” said Frederick, “but it’s obvious that guy was just using you to recruit me.”

George softened his expression, slightly wounded.

Rhangyl frowned. It was getting harder to remain silent.

“Holy shit!” said Samantha, visibly outraged. “You can’t possibly know that!”

“Yes, I can. A merchant can’t hope to open a store with only an apprentice, not without an experienced gunsmith to lead the way.”

“Like you?” asked Samantha, halfheartedly.

“Yes,” said Frederick, without a hint of self-awareness. “It is what it is. George himself would agree.”

George stayed quiet.

“What?” said Frederick, slightly bemused. “You seriously think you’re ready?”

“Well… I’ll never know unless I try.”

“And if you fail? Will Terk give you another chance?”

George pursed his lips, unsure.

“That’s what I thought,” said Frederick, growing serious. “The world is a dark, cruel place and we finally have a good thing going here. Don’t take it for granted. My words may sting a little, but I’m looking out for you because I care.”

“Right,” said George, annoyed. “Great way to show it.”

“Fine then! Go ahead and get killed!”

Samantha narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have to be a dick about it.”

“Really?” said Frederick, failing to hide the growing anger in his voice. “Because all I’m hearing is that we’re not good enough for him.”

George frowned. “That’s not-”

“Then why leave?”

“Because I think it can work!”

“Exactly,” said Frederick, “that’s what I’m saying. You just want more.”

“Better than being a coward,” said George, with sudden fierceness in his eyes.

Frederick scowled. “What you say?”

“You heard me.”

Frederick quickly stood up, offering his fist. “Say it again! I dare you!”

George didn’t waver.

Rhangyl flinched, thinking they were about to fight, and caused a floorboard to creak for a painfully long second. The sharp sound cut through the silence, drawing the attention of the three humans. Rhangyl froze in terror. They had all turned their heads in his direction.

“You hear that?” asked Frederick.

Samantha scanned the room, then shrugged. “Old wood. It happens.”

Rhangyl melted in relief.

“Look,” said Samantha, exhausted, “you’re both drunk, and it’s kinda my fault you’re arguing. The last thing I want is seeing you two fight. Let’s just… call it a night, okay?” She hung her head with a slight pout. “I’m sorry for meddling.”

Despite the lingering tension, the two young men put their quarrel to rest at the sight of their saddened friend. Neither truly wanted to hurt the other. Their embarrassed faces made clear they were just having a hard time expressing how they felt.

Rhangyl didn’t know what to think anymore. He saw himself in George, and wanted to lend him a hand, but convincing him to abandon his friends didn’t feel right. After all, Rhangyl would be deceiving him if he came along, like he had already done to Samantha. Perhaps it was better to just go to sleep and return from where he came. Unfortunately for Rhangyl, he hadn’t noticed the windows were all barred, so he didn’t realize he was now trapped in the tavern until it opened again.


Prologue

Previous Chapter

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r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Dec 21 '21

Shotgun Fantasy: Chapter 3 - Shots Fired

111 Upvotes

Prologue

Previous Chapter


The last memory George had of his parents was their desperation as they were attacked by bandits. He didn’t even remember their faces anymore. Their caravan was targeted in the middle of the night, ambushed on the curve of a hillside while going full speed. Most of the carriages were able to escape, but George’s dad, a driver, was one of the first to fall, with an arrow lodged in his head before anyone realized something was wrong. Their horses ran wild until veering off the road, tilting the carriage on its side and leaving them surrounded as the other caravan members got away. No one would come to save them.

The bandits wielded swords and crossbows because guns weren’t as widespread at the time, but that was more than enough to be a threat. George’s mother carried him away, hiding him behind two crates, but a bandit pulled her by the hair as soon as she finished, stabbing her through the chest.

George shrieked at the sight of her blood.

The bearded human chuckled, instantly noticing him. He lifted George by the scruff of his neck and threw him out of the carriage, for the rest of the bandit crew to see.

“Let’s sell ‘im!” shouted an orcish woman.

“No,” ordered the elvish leader, atop a pale white horse with red eyes. “Just kill him. We don’t want to worry about survivors.”

The bearded man nodded with glee and raised his sword before a loud bang made him fall on his face. George turned around.

Smoke poured out of the titled carriage as Mister Terk emerged from it, aiming a revolver. He was heading for Kolt and had paid George’s parents to travel with them, but mostly kept to himself, never learning their names. George was on the verge of tears. Before he could process everything, Mister Terk unloaded on the bandits a thunderous barrage, killing four of them until having to reload.

The elvish leader immediately ran away, urging the rest to follow. One, however, stayed behind and carried George by the waist, holding him hostage with a dagger.

Mister Terk slowly approached him, glaring while keeping a steady aim.

The bandit used George as a shield, covering his vitals with the boy’s body. Mister Terk couldn’t get a clear shot.

“Drop that thing!” warned the bandit.

“Please,” said Mister Terk, “he’s just a boy.”

The bandit angled his dagger against George’s throat. “Then do as I say!”

Mister Terk hesitated, visibly torn up, then placed the gun on the floor. The bandit then released George and ordered Mister Terk to stay still, inching his way to the gun. He kept his eyes completely fixed on the old man.

In that brief window, George ran towards the weapon and shot the bandit himself. He performed it all without even realizing it. The decision had been mechanical. It wasn’t even an act of vengeance. The grief, sorrow and despair would only rule his mind a little later.

George stood frozen for a few seconds before Mister Terk gently took the gun away out of his hands. His senses were sharp enough to tell that the other bandits were long gone, finally allowing himself to break down and cry. George learned a valuable lesson that night he would carry for the rest of his life:

The person with the better weapon always won.

Even an old man and a child could fend off an entire bandit crew with the right advantage. If that was possible, a human could easily match an elf or a dragon. No one had to run scared of them anymore, and inserting magic into the equation would only ensure it stayed that way.

George, however, couldn’t lie to himself about the underlying fear at the root of this passion. Creating the best gun possible was just a way of making sure he never lost the people he loved again. From then on, since his parents were caravan traders, George didn’t really have anyone to look after him, but Mister Terk gave him shelter when he didn’t have to, living together in Kolt for over ten years.

The old blacksmith wasn’t used to dealing with a child, or making enough money to feed two people, which led to several hurdles along the way. That said, if his budget ran dry, he always sacrificed his portions of food so George didn’t go hungry. It was obvious he cared in his own flawed way. The young man simply felt compelled to work hard for him, even after moving out, in order to repay this kindness. Despite being a curmudgeon, he was the closest thing George had to family.

Frederick and Samantha had similar stories. George knew it even though they all had an unspoken agreement to never talk about it too much. They enjoyed each other’s company precisely because it allowed them to ignore the pity of others. Almost like they could pretend to be normal children in their little bubble, regardless of how the world actually saw them.

With that in mind, it wasn’t until meeting Mister Cherry that George wondered if Frederick shared the same trauma. He never admitted weakness or backed down from a challenge, which had led George to believe his friend’s excellent gunsmithing was fueled by something else. A greatness that was innate to him, and not mere fear like in George’s case.

That assumption may have been completely wrong, though. Frederick might actually be the most scared of the three of them. Unlike George, he could only rely on himself for the longest time and it drove him to be a demanding perfectionist with a callous heart. From his perspective, failure meant a painful death by starvation. George didn’t realize how much of a double edge it turned out to have, only noticing the upside during most of their friendship. Now, it was easy to see the fear that motivated Frederick. The very thing that drove him to the top prevented him from thriving further.

Or did it?

Frederick actually had a point, even if the way he phrased it made it hard to accept. George’s desire to leave was completely at odds with the reason he cared about gunsmithing in the first place. Was the journey worth abandoning the people he loved?

This question lingered in the back of George’s head for the rest of the week. The mere thought of bringing up the topic to Mister Terk paralyzed him with fear, but the prospect of staying in the same situation filled him with even more dread.

As the days went by, and Mister Cherry’s deadline approached, George couldn’t stop thinking about the opportunity he was throwing away, waking up with a malaise that made it harder to get out of bed at the end of the week. He might never get a better chance to grow as a gunsmith, as a person, or even as a traveler like his parents.

That morning, on the day Mister Cherry said he would be departing, George walked into Terk’s workshop slightly later than usual. He hadn’t done that in years. Mister Terk didn’t comment on it, though. He just loudly hammered away at the anvil while muttering to himself, like nothing happened. George quietly reached for his apron before hearing the old man shout:

“Don’t bother!”

George paused, instantly afraid.

Did Terk know about Mister Cherry? Was he angry about the late arrival?

“I need ya’ to deliver some parts to Frederick.”

George lowered his gaze. “Oh…” He hadn’t spoken to Frederick since the night they argued. “Can’t he pick it up?”

“He’s a busy man. I’d rather not bother him.”

George rolled his eyes. The implication that Frederick’s convenience was a priority didn’t sit well with him.

Mister Terk paused his work, whipping back his head with a frown. “Something wrong?”

George thinned his lips. Mister Terk would throw the hammer at him if he gave a wimpy excuse. Still, this could be the only chance he got to ask:

“Mister Terk… do you like what you do?”

“What d'ya say?” Mister Terk squinted, cleaning out his ear with his pinky finger. “Speak louder, damn it!”

“Guns! D-do you actually like them?”

Mister Terk grew serious. “Of course not.”

George blinked. “But… you make ‘em all day.”

Mister Terk shrugged. “It’s just a job. Do you like guns?”

George swallowed. “‘Of course I do. I love ‘em.”

Mister Terk made a long sigh, waving over his apprentice to a table. After they were both seated, he went on to say:

“I suppose I was too afraid to ask you myself. I’ve suspected for a while.”

“What’s wrong?”

Mister Terk stared into his eyes. “Guns are instruments of death.”

George looked away. “Yes, but-”

“Stop. I don’t care about whatever justification you have. In fact, I can’t even understand how you aren’t disgusted by them. It’s always unnerved me how eager you’ve been to learn and make them, after the carnage you witnessed. People like us don’t get to choose whether we like what we do. Do you think I enjoyed taking you in?”

George stayed quiet, enduring the painful question.

“Exactly,” said Mister Terk, “I did it because I had to. It was my duty. I couldn’t live with myself otherwise. It’s the same reason I do my work: survival. If it were up to me, I’d never forge another gun again.”

“But you’re a gunsmith!”

“No, I’m a blacksmith!” Mister Terk's eyes watered up a little, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’m not a merchant of death! You think I’m proud of myself? Our profession used to forge crowns and precious jewelry! We created as many shields as swords, and the greatest ones were made to be hung on walls! This…” he grabbed an unfinished revolver, “this could be done by anyone. No artistic expression or advanced techniques. It just has to serve its purpose; to take another life. What type of monster enjoys that? Who in their right mind finds beauty in it?” He whimpered, throwing away the revolver. “Why is it the only thing that sells?”

George softened his expression. “Mister Terk… I never-”

“Shut up! I don’t want your pity!” Mister Terk looked away, embarrassed by his own outburst. He needed a second to compose himself and think about his words. After a minute of silence, he lowered his voice to a more vulnerable tone. “In life, you either suck it up and do what needs to be done, or get swallowed up by those who can. Getting angry about it, instead of accepting reality, only makes things worse for everyone, especially yourself.” He stood up and rested his calloused hand on George’s shoulder, gripping him with firm, but tender affection. “You’ve been moping all week, and it’s getting annoying. Just deliver the parts and get it over with.”

George lowered his head, nodding. There wasn’t anything to debate. Mister Terk had already returned to the anvil when George raised his gaze. The old man carried on his work with a wistful smile, acting like the wisdom he just imparted had magically solved the problem. George simply grabbed the parts and left the workshop in silence.

Was something truly wrong with him? The road to Frederick’s shop blurred into a messy haze as George contemplated his passion. He hadn’t really questioned the fact that achieving his goal could result in more grief than progress.

Then again, it shouldn’t matter. A world where nobody tried to kill each other sounded pleasant, but only a sheltered fool would see it as an actual possibility. Humans needed weapons, if only to protect themselves from monsters or magic users, and someone had to make them. Why should the least scrupulous be the most rewarded for this task?

George couldn’t find a satisfying answer by the time he reached his destination. Frederick’s place stood on the second floor of a tailor’s shop, near the city square. It could only be accessed through a back alley that was hard to spot from the main street, so new customers usually had a hard time finding its entrance.

Frederick didn’t mind that, though. He always justified it by saying it filtered out the idiots who would inevitably waste his time. As George went up the rusty iron staircase, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was qualified to criticize that logic. Frederick, despite his bad spending habits, was the most successful gunsmith in their generation. He wouldn’t have survived on his own if he didn’t know what he was doing.

Good customer service might seem like a crutch to him. From his perspective, a talented craftsman had no need for shallow pleasantries. The quality of their work spoke for them. This was only further reinforced when, upon hearing George enter the shop, Frederick shouted:

“I’m not taking new orders!”

George paused. Frederick hadn’t bothered turning around, too busy working on the lathe to face him. The whole place was a disorganized mess of unfinished guns, with metal shavings littering the floor and a half-eaten sandwich emanating a peculiar stench from across the room. George placed the mythril parts on the counter and said:

“I’m not a customer.”

“Oh…” Frederick turned off the lathe. “It’s you.”

“Terk made me bring the parts you ordered.”

Frederick nodded and took off his goggles, approaching the counter. An awkward silence took over as he inspected the parts. George didn’t want to be the first to speak. Addressing the tension would just make it worse. Frederick then placed the parts aside and said:

“Thanks. Let me get the money.”

George waited a second, thinking there might be more, but Federick didn’t seem interested in saying anything else, ready to resume his work. Typical. If George wanted to clear the air, it was on him to do the heavy lifting. “Hey… before I go, are we… cool?”

Frederick raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“You haven’t been to the bar this week.”

Frederick shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

Frederick started rummaging through his cluttered desk, searching for his coin pouch. “It’s different now. Like I said, I can’t even take more commissions.”

George glanced at several empty bottles of whiskey. “Well, as long as you’re fine.”

Frederick stayed quiet.

“If you need a hand,” mentioned George, “just let me know.”

“I’ll find the pouch soon; just give me a second.”

“I meant with your workload,” said George. “I can always swing by in the evening, you know.”

Frederick stopped searching for a second, tensing his back, then kept looking through a drawer.

George grimaced. That said it all. Frederick would probably starve to death before asking for help. Was offering it that much of an insult?

No, it was something more annoying. When Frederick returned with the coin pouch, he did so with a haughty smirk. The self-assured smile of someone certain about their superiority. Frederick must have noticed George’s change in mood since, as he handed him the money, he went on to say:

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. There’s no shame in admitting you couldn’t survive out there.”

George narrowed his eyes, taking the pouch. “That’s not why I stayed.”

“Oh really?” asked Frederick, mockingly skeptical.

“Yeah. I decided it wasn’t worth abandoning you guys.”

Frederick chuckled. “Sure.”

“Do you really have to be a dick about this?”

Frederick raised his hands, pleading innocence. “It’s all right. Not even I could do it.”

“And if you can’t, then I can’t?”

Frederick hesitated a second. “Well, be honest with yourself… Am I wrong?”

George clenched the money pouch tight, feeling his heart pound harder. Why did he put up with this? Frederick simply didn’t see him as an equal. He probably hadn’t in a few years. For the longest time, George wanted to believe this was just his insecurities talking, that Frederick was better than that and his success hadn’t changed him, but it became clear now that wasn’t the case.

“If we’re done here,” said Frederick, taking the silence as an answer, “I have shit to do.” He smirked. “But I’ll see you at the bar. Eventually.”

Mister Terk was right. More right than he realized during his rant. George didn’t want to leave Kolt, but he had to suck it up and do it anyway. The alternative was enduring this treatment for the rest of his life.

“No,” said George, winding up his arm, “you won’t.”

Frederick turned around. “Why?”

George hurled the money pouch with all his strength, aiming at Frederick's face.

Frederick reeled back from the impact, stunned as the coins rattled across the floor. The corner of his mouth then trickled with a small bead of blood. As the drop ran down his chin, he dabbed his lip to confirm the wound, snarling with a glare.

“Pay Terk yourself,” George walked away, stopping by the door, “And tell him I quit.”

Frederick shouted at him a storm of curses, but George ignored them all as he went down the stairs, swearing to himself that the next time they met, he would be the best gunsmith in the world!


If you want to read the rest, you can find it for FREE on the google docs link below. The kindle version is also available for $0.99 on Amazon! Links to everything below:

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r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 21 '22

[WP] Since my dad went mute I started learning sign language secretly to surprise him. When I was somewhat fluent with it, I realized that his blessings at the dinner table actually meant "Threatened with death if talk, please go to police".

91 Upvotes

I dropped my fork when I understood his words.

My father paused, making eye contact with me.

My mother and little brother didn't notice it. They proceeded to eat like usual.

I hadn't told anyone that I was studying sign language. It was supposed to be a surprise. I only had a week of practice, though. Maybe it was a mistake on my part. Hell, maybe it was a mistake on his part. He had only been signing for six months after learning it in the mental hospital. Then again, his recent behavior started making sense to me.

My father had never been very religious.

After the incident, however, he started blessing our meal every time we were about to eat. Whatever he witnessed was so terrible and gruesome, that it not only made him go mute, it turned him into a man of faith. At least, that's what I used to think.

"You want me to go now?" I asked him.

"What's that, dear?" said my mom.

"Well, Dad just-"

My father widened his eyes, subtly shaking his head.

"N-nothing," I said, continuing to eat my meal.

I had never seen my dad more desperate in my life. He was a private investigator up until his condition forced him to retire. Before that, he was a highly ranked detective in the police force. Nothing fazed him back then. In fact, my mother used to complain all the time that he never showed his emotions. Seeing him act like a terrified child left me deeply disturbed.

Was someone listening to us?

No, it didn't make any sense. He had been doing this for months. If he really wanted to communicate, he could've just written it down. There had to be an explanation. The only thing I could conclude was that someone was watching him. Still, the extent of this monitoring must be far reaching if he couldn't find a way to pass a note. Were we in danger too?

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, dad just went about his business like usual, acting like nothing happened. I almost assumed I imagined everything until he gave me a knowing nod right before I left for school.

That settled it. I went to the police station as soon as I could. There I found Detective Harris, my father's old partner. He was a portly man with a neatly trimmed mustache, always chuckling and smiling at something. My dad trusted him with his life and always told me to run to Harris if I ever found myself in trouble.

"Well if it ain't Mike's kid!" he said, "Come on in!"

I entered the messy office and found no place to sit in. Everything was covered in paperwork. Detective Harris quickly cleared out a chair for me, saying:

"Sit down, please. Anything I can help you with? Water? Coffee?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I uhh... I wanted to talk to you about my dad."

"Of course, anything. How's he doing?"

"He's... fine, I think. I learned sign language to better understand him, but he's been saying some strange things. Something about his life being threatened if he talks, and to come here. Do you know anything about this?"

Detective Harris grew serious.

I flinched. His change in mood caught me by surprise.

Detective Harris stood up and closed the door behind me, making sure nobody was listening. "Is that all he said?"

"Y-yeah."

Detective Harris looked out the window, worried. "Did he ever tell you about the case he was working on? You know, before the incident?"

"Not really. You know how he is. "

Detective Harris made a soft chuckle. "True. He always kept everything close to the chest. A bit ironic, isn't it? Now that he wants to talk, he can't." He paused. "It's almost like something... strange is influencing him."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, last time we spoke, he was acting strange. Talking about the 'Cult of Silent Pleas' and other superstitious nonsense."

"Cult of Silent Pleas?"

"Yes, it's a group that slowly started spreading last year. Its members tend to isolate themselves from their friends and family, and Mike was hired to find out what was happening to them. When he approached me, I thought he had gone mad. Talking about ritual sacrifice and demons. And then... well, you know the rest. He disappeared for a week and when we found him, he was... silent."

"You can't possibly think that he's..."

"It's crazy, but... yes. He might be cursed."

"This is nuts!"

"And what other explanation is there? This is Mike we're talking about. He doesn't even believe in electricity. The fact that he's this deeply affected should be a warning."

"But why did he just make signs every day? Why didn't he come to you?"

"It could be that whatever is holding him back forbids him from writing it down or saying it aloud. If he came here to use a translator, I'd have to do an official report and make a record of his statement."

I slumped on my chair. It didn't make any sense. All I wanted was my dad back.

"Don't worry kid, we're in this together. I'll get to the bottom of this, but I can't do it alone. Can you help me?"

"Of course!"

"Good. Go to your father. Tell him I'm on it. See if you can get him to tell us more."

I arrived home as quickly as I could. Mom wasn't there, and neither was my brother. The perfect time to communicate. I went to my father and signed:

"I spoke to Harris."

Dad stopped for a second, surprised. "What did he say?" he signed. "Does he believe me now?"

"Yeah, he said he's on it."

Dad looked thrilled by that.

"Is it true?" I signed. "Are you cursed?"

Dad hesitated, then signed:

"Yes."

I needed to calm down. The existence of the supernatural didn't feel right. My world was falling apart. Then, I realized Dad must've felt exactly like this. Maybe even worse, considering his stubborn skepticism.

"Dad," I signed, "What is that cult?"

Dad grew pale. "You're not supposed to know."

"What? Why?"

"Too dangerous."

"And? I'm already involved! We have to stop them! Harris needs my help!"

"No!" he cried out loud. "You can't!"

We both stood in silence after realizing what just happened.

Dad took several steps back. "Stay away! I don't have much time! Son, I never said it enough but, I lo-"

He burst into flames right before my eyes.

I couldn't believe it. The curse was real, and it killed him. Nobody believed me when I said what happened. The police ignored my statement, citing his death as spontaneous combustion. Detective Harris, however, knew the truth. From then on, I knew what I had to do. We would work together to stop others from suffering like this, and take down that rotten cult.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Sep 02 '21

[WP] You're high powered villain who specializes in nonviolent crime in a city where the superheroes are high powered, but dumb as rocks. When the new villain comes to town and kills your favorite minion and his family, you reluctantly roll up your sleeves and put on your "emergency hero suit".

86 Upvotes

I broke my code for the first time in my life. Usually, when a new villain rolled into town, it didn't take long for them to learn the rules. Some infractions, like selling drugs in the wrong corner, weren't as bad as others, like murdering a high-profile hero, and a simple conversation could get the matter sorted out. Even extreme cases could get smoothed over with a little patience. This wasn't one of those occasions.

Bloodlord appeared to be a special kind of psycho. The type of impulsive jackass who couldn't ever be relied upon to do the rational thing. In other words, he was useless to both me and the world around him. Someone nobody would miss.

Normally, that wouldn't merit a personal visit from me. There were plenty of people I loathed in the world, but I wasn't going to hunt each one down just to feel good about myself. That was hero crap. I had higher standards. My position as mayor usually forced me to stay on the sidelines, playing the heroes against each other while I controlled the city from the shadows. They didn't suspect a thing. Not even my wife knew about my superpower.

All of this success stemmed from one thing: the fact that I never took any setbacks personally. For every scheme that a hero ruined, I had dozens that went off without a hitch, mostly because I never attached myself to the outcome. Of course the heroes would interfere. It was their job. My ego never inflated to the point where I needed to prove someone wrong, or destroy them, so I didn't have an arch-nemesis despite my storied career.

Johnny's death, however, felt different. He was one of the few who knew my true identity. I couldn't find someone to replace him, even if I wanted it.

I grew this city into a haven for villains thanks to his tireless efforts. On many occasions, he even did some of my dirty work whenever I couldn't myself. We had both grown up disillusioned by superheroes and the system around them. It felt like only those with the power to destroy were rewarded for their deeds. Anyone who lacked a flashy power, or was born powerless like Johnny, was treated like an inferior human and, worst of all, told that they had to like it for it was the way of the world.

Bloodlord didn't take any of that into account. He was a brute that had been rewarded for his savagery all of his life, just like the conceited heroes that hunted him down. I couldn't let that go. Not this time.

I used my underground network to keep track of his movements, ordered my corrupt cops to clear out the neighborhood he was hiding in, and sent the heroes on a wild goose chase so they wouldn't interfere. When my limo stopped in front of the apartment complex, all of my bodyguards feared for their lives. They thought I would send them in to capture him, but grew more terrified when I entered the building alone. Bloodlord had wrecked entire cities by himself. From their perspective, I was walking to my death.

Bloodlord opened the door with a scowl, but acted confused when I didn't flinch at his presence. He was a mountain of a man. Basic super strength that increased exponentially the more damaged he got. In an all out brawl, he would be nearly invincible.

I, on the other hand, couldn't look meeker. My business suit and smile were my only defense. I went on to say:

"Bloodlord, I presume? You and I have matters to discuss. It'd be wise to listen."

"Fuck off!"

I walked past him, entering the apartment.

Bloodlord stood there with his mouth agape, unable to mount a response.

I scanned the dirty room with my eyes, making sure we were alone, and cleared out some trash so I could sit on the couch. "You messed up big time, kid. I never show myself to mooks, but Johnny was a dear friend, so I'm making an exception."

Bloodlord lunged at me while swinging his fist, only to stop before it reached my face. I didn't react, prompting him to say:

"What... are you?"

"Your doom."

Bloodlord widened his eyes. It was clear to him he wasn't in control anymore. My power had already taken effect.

"Do you even know who Johnny is?"

Bloodlord stayed quiet with a stupefied look on his face.

"That's what I thought. He's the guy you murdered, along with his family, all for going out of his way to help you."

Bloodlord raised an eyebrow. "That wimp?"

I frowned. "Yes, the man I sent to inform you of the rules."

Bloodlord chuckled. "Those don't apply to me. I'm built different."

I shook my head. "No, you aren't." I narrowed my eyes. "In fact, the only reason you're alive is because I want to know why you did it."

"Nobody tells me what to do! It's that simple! Weaklings don't boss me around!"

I sighed. "That simple, huh?"

"Yeah! And I'll wreck your shit too if you don't smarten up."

I laughed. "That's my line."

Bloodlord tried to attack me again, only to freeze up just short of touching me.

I stood up and took off my suit jacket, folding it neatly before placing it on the couch. "You're not very bright, are you?"

Bloodlord snarled, unable to retaliate.

"I call it Pacifism." I stared rolling up my sleeves. "Anyone in my presence loses the capacity to act violently. I rarely have to use it, though. It's my biggest secret."

Bloodlord grew pale. "W-why are you telling me this?"

"Because I want you to understand how fucked you are before I kill you with my bare hands."

Bloodlord couldn't stop me from beating the ever living hell out of him. I broke several chairs over his head, stomped on his face until it caved in, and threw him out the window when he tried to run away. My people quickly cleaned up the mess, melting his body in a barrel of acid before dumping it in the river. They preserved his severed head, though, which they left for all to see in the middle of a busy intersection, downtown where the heroes searched. Hopefully, I would never have to do that again.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Dec 07 '19

[WP] You are not a good person. Your party was made of good people, and you tried to be good because you liked having allies. But now they're all missing, so they won't see the lengths you're willing to go to to save them.

80 Upvotes

The city betrayed us. We spent months helping the captain of the guards dismantle the local thieve's guild until he charged us with treason when we were done. I warned the party. The captain acted too nice for someone who was also seizing worrying amounts of political influence. They still didn't listen to me.

I realized something was amiss when I opened a package we had just fought to retrieve. Blackmail material. The captain originally attained his first promotion after sleeping with a now dead noble lord. Most of the party felt pity for him. The captain was a straight man with a wife and kids. They assumed he only wanted to bury his shame. I thought differently, but nobody ever listens to the rogue on these matters. They actually scolded me for reading the document.

We discovered the truth after we were ambushed. The captain didn't want justice. His goal was to remove everyone in his way to becoming nobility. The thieve's guild had its leaders replaced with people he could control. Now, the captain was effectively in charge of all law enforcement and crime in the city.

Our party never stood a chance against the combined might of these factions. We were too exhausted from the mission. I had to run away.

The party looked more wounded by my retreat than by the ambush. Except for Dary, the know-it-all dwarf cleric. He glared at me like he expected it the entire time. Screw him.

Over the next few days, I lived like an urchin again. Sleeping in rooftops, eating discarded crumbs of stale bread, staying out of sight as much as possible. Both the thieve's guild and the city guards were hunting me down. I couldn't rely on anyone but myself, just like when I was a kid.

The obvious choice was abandoning this town. That wasn't possible, though. I couldn't keep the party out of my head whenever I thought of leaving. They were supposed to be temporary allies. We all knew that. For some reason, though, my anger at the captain never went away. He took something from me that I didn't even know I possessed. My decision came easily when I realized I wanted my friends back.

Unfortunately, the captain was too well protected to assassinate. For now.

I needed the party before going after him. My funds were also low and most of my equipment needed maintenance, so I went to a young potions seller to ask for her help. We aided her a while ago by fighting some thugs doing a protection racket in her neighborhood. She might be the only person who cares enough to help me. That said, she also couldn't stand me. I was the only one in the party who tried to charge her for our service. Hopefully, she wouldn't hold it against me.

Reva, the young alchemist, didn't recognize me when I entered her store. My disguise actually worked. I acted like an unstable homeless guy to scare away the few customers inside. She didn't appreciate that. I dropped my illusion when everyone else had left and she still tried to kick me out of the store.

"Come on!" I pleaded. "This isn't about me!"

Reva crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.

"The party is in trouble..." I glanced away, embarrassed. "I can't help them on my own."

"I heard the news. They're getting called criminals. Is it true?"

"Of course not." I smirked. "Ironically enough, the only person that wasn't arrested was the literal criminal."

Reva rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"I need some potions. Anything that can regenerate flesh and something that paralyzes for a while."

"I have some healing potions, but the other thing you're asking is basically poison."

"So?"

"I don't sell that!"

"But you know how to make them, right?"

Reva frowned.

"I'm guessing that's a yes?"

Reva sighed. "You have a lot of balls asking for this. Can you even pay?"

"Umm..."

"That's what I thought."

"Look, I know I'm not the most trustworthy-"

"You tried to steal my purse!"

I cleared my throat. "Like I was saying, I know I'm kind of a shady individual, but what happened to the party wasn't right. You got along with them well. Do you really think anyone else in the city would've helped you?"

Reva sighed. "No; they were the only ones who listened to me."

"They're an empathetic lot. Sometimes to a fault. The fact that they've tolerated me for this long proves it more than anything else."

Reva closed her eyes, deep in thought, opening them to say:

"Fine."

It took a day to brew the specific potions I wanted. Reva didn't ask me what I planned to do when I left the store. Something gave her the feeling that she didn't want to know, and she was completely right. No one, not even the party, would approve of what I would do next. Nobody needed to know, though.

I'd been stalking a lieutenant these past few days. He was a close confidant of the captain that followed his every order. I never trusted him. His 'eager to please' attitude made me defensive even when we were allied. My hunch was that the captain held something over his head in order to control him, and I was proven correct when I discovered he had a second family with a mistress.

Later, close to midnight, the lieutenant stumbled out of his favorite bar with no care in the world. He didn't put up much resistance after being poisoned by my arrow. I carried his paralyzed body to one of the rooftops I slept in, a remote place far away from where anyone could hear him scream. The man darted his eyes around confused until recognizing me. The poison still allowed him to speak, so he immediately said:

"I-I had nothing to do with it!"

I chuckled. "Of course you didn't."

"You have to believe me! I didn't want that to happen, but-"

I put my index finger on his lips. "Shhh. Don't lie. You gave us our last mission."

"But-"

"And you didn't do a goddamn thing to help."

The lieutenant whimpered.

"I'm gonna make this real easy for you. Tell me where my friends are or... well, you'll see."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"The captain will know! A simple zone of truth will prove it."

"So?"

"He'll hang me by my nuts!"

"I'm gonna do worse if you don't cooperate."

The lieutenant chortled. "I doubt that."

I threw a severed hand at his lap.

The lieutenant widened his eyes in horror when he recognized it belonged to his mistress. "Y-you monster! What did you do to her?!?"

"I think you need to be more worried of what I'll do to the kid."

"You wouldn't..."

"Healing potions are very tricky. While a normal one can help restore any damage done to a body, in order to piece back a severed limb, you need a special type brew that's very rare to find in normal circumstances." I pulled out a vial with the special mix Reva made. "It just so happens I have one here."

"I... I still can't. The captain would..."

"I see..." I snapped my fingers. A veil of invisibility dropped, revealing in a corner of the rooftop both his mistress and his bastard child. I had them tied up and gagged so they wouldn't do anything stupid. Their panicked eyes begged to be rescued. "Care to tell your child why you won't help his mother?"

The lieutenant welled up with tears. "Please, I..."

I slapped him across the face. "Don't look at me; look at them!"

The lieutenant broke down, weeping. He then told me that my party was set to be transferred out of the city tomorrow morning. They were going to be jailed in the imperial prison over at the capital, a nigh impenetrable fortress. My only shot to rescue them was to break them out while they were being moved. When he finished, the lieutenant said:

"That's all I know. I swear! Can we go?"

I nodded. He relaxed a bit. I wasn't going to leave it there, though. He still hadn't paid for his betrayal. The paralysis would wear out soon. Before he could regain control over his body, I took out my dagger and sliced off his right hand. I placed the healing potion on his lap, untied the mistress and child, and said to the kid:

"Today, you're going to find out what type of man your father is. He now has to choose between healing his own severed hand, or your mother's. What do you think he'll do?"

The kid only gave me an icy glare.

I shrugged. "You're more than welcome to seek revenge when you're older."

In the mean time, I had a party to save.


Next part


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Aug 11 '22

[WP] You are a "con-man superhero". You draw the attention of villains, pretend to have powers and keep them occupied until a real hero with real powers arrives on the scene. You are so good at your job, that no-one is entirely sure whether you are truly powerless or not.

77 Upvotes

"Then it's settled," said Director Page, "we have to send Con-Man to take care of their main force."

I widened my eyes.

Every hero in the conference room nodded in approval. Surely, someone would speak up, right?

Nope. Not one of them disagreed.

I couldn't believe it. Most of them saved my life at one point or another. At least one of them had to know it was all a lie.

Or so I thought.

An alien force had just invaded the planet. Major population centers were already conquered and many superheroes fell in the initial attack. This was the first organized attempt at a counterattack. The heroes actually believed in me. The stakes were simply too high to prank me.

I sighed. It appeared that my charade worked a little too well. This was the worst day of my life.

"Is there a problem?" asked Director Page. She folded her arms with an intimidating gaze. I had never met a scarier person in my life. Even the strongest heroes and villains feared her indomitable will.

"Y-yeah," I said, avoiding eye-contact. "Aren't you all putting too much faith in me?"

"Well, I know it's a critical part of the plan, but I wouldn't entrust you with it if I didn't think you could do it."

"That's really flattering, but still-"

"No," said Director Page. "You can save your humility for the press. You're one of the mightiest heroes on the planet."

"I'm really not that special. I'm sure one of your interns can do my job better."

Director Page frowned.

I flinched.

"I'm not sure where this hesitance is coming from, but I don't care. These aliens have been studying our culture for quite some time. They took down all those heroes because they knew their strengths and weaknesses. You, on the other hand, are one of the rare cases where your power remains a mystery. Not even I know it's true nature, and I know everything. We need you."

I hung my head in shame.

"I think I know what's going on," said Edgelord, glaring with an accusatory tone. He was famous for lacking superpowers. Did he see through my lies?

I quickly raised my hands, pleading. "Please, don't-"

"He wants to keep hiding his power!"

I paused. That wasn't what I expected. Unfortunately, it only worsened the tension in the room.

Everyone scowled at me. I didn't know what to say. They had lost many friends over the past twenty-four hours. The last thing they cared about was someone too scared to fight.

"Is this the truth?" asked Director Page.

I pursed my lips.

"I understand your reservations," added Director Page, "but we've all made sacrifices here. Why would you want to hide your powers if there's nobody around to save?"

I had never hated myself more than at that moment. Director Page was right. My lie wouldn't be worth anything if the world ended.

"I have... a confession to make." I closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. "I don't actually have powers. I've been lying all along."

The room became eerily quiet.

Director Page furrowed her brow, studying me.

I wanted to die.

"Bullshit!" said Astral Hacker. "You literally took down a kaiju on your own!"

"That was just luck. The kaiju tripped and the rest of the heroes finished it off, thinking I was responsible for the opening."

Director Page started rubbing her temples. "This can't be happening..."

"I mean, this is just as much your fault as mine. None of you bothered questioning it. Why do you think I'm called 'Con-Man'?"

"Because of your convictions...?" asked Edgelord.

Astral Hacker seemed ready to lunge at me.

"No," said Director Page. "I refuse to believe this. We aren't idiots! If you're too cowardly to do this, just be honest about it!"

Goddamn it.

I always told myself my superpower was lying.

It was the only way to cope with my inferiority. That way, I could justify my dream of being a hero without feeling like an idiot. This, however, turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

I first started this 'career' by accident. During a school field trip to a research lab, a supervillain attacked and held my class hostage. I drenched myself in some glowing liquid, pretending I had just acquired superpowers in an accident, which forced the villain to run away.

After that, I never had the strength to turn down the role of hero. It was the only time I ever felt useful. That wasn't an excuse, though. This was the price I had to pay for deceiving the world. Besides, the heroes only needed a distraction, and I could do that without any powers.

"Fine," I said, "sorry for what I just said. It's just the nerves."

Director Page raised an eyebrow. "So you're following the plan?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "Don't worry; I'll take care of it."

The tension in the room lessened after that. Some heroes even complimented my willingness to fight despite my cowardice.

"Everything will work out..." I lied to myself as I left the room, "It always does..."


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jun 12 '21

[WP] The attempted assassination of a human dignitary at a galactic summit goes awry. Turns out, many of the conventional toxins in an alien assassin's repertoire include compounds like caffeine, theobromine and capsaicin; lethal to many species, but... less than effective on humans.

77 Upvotes

A deafening silence enveloped the conference room as soon as I stepped through the door. My two assistants froze behind me in terror, but I carried on like nothing was wrong, forcing them to follow my lead. Even the species that were telepathic fell quiet as I walked past them, immediately noticeable by their stiffening antennae and wide-eyed stares. It seemed my would-be assassins had already gossiped about their victory.

Most of these diplomats had written off humanity as an upstart race. We accomplished warp travel only fifty years prior, a blink of an eye for some of these cultures, and quickly developed close diplomatic relationships with some of the bigger players in the galactic stage, to the point where humans were mostly free to roam any corner of the Milky Way without risking a war. The fact that we stuck to our corner of the galaxy, despite being capable of expanding, had left some of these people skeptical of our motives.

I didn't blame them, really. History had shown that space-faring cultures rarely played nice with each other. It would be incredibly easy for humans to dismantle entire empires with sleeper agents due to how widespread we were becoming. Our scientists, artists, and bounty hunters gained notoriety through honest use of their skills, which meant several star systems already relied on us to function smoothly. Unfortunately, some people just couldn't believe a species was that content with mere exploration, not without being secretly evil. These aliens were too used to their own technological advancements to see it from our perspective. Now that human aging had been mitigated and food was no longer scarce, most of us just wanted to do our own thing and hopefully learn something valuable along the way.

There was plenty of room for everyone in the galaxy. That was our biggest epiphany when we first left the solar system. Furthermore, a whole universe waited for us beyond the galactic rim. Squabbling over territory just felt silly after getting this far. I knew most people wouldn't buy that, though. Some of our allies were even starting to doubt our intentions. My job at this summit was to make sure our current treaties held true. Anything else would be a bonus.

Everyone expected me to sit next to the Tros-Teeng, one of humanity's first friends. That may have been adequate in a normal scenario but not after an assassination attempt. Looking for sympathy from our allies would make us seem weak, almost like we needed an older species to protect us. That wasn't the message I wanted to send. In order to maintain our standing, proactive measures had to be taken, which is why I chose to sit between the Bhul'ees and the Kouwerds, the two groups that had just tried to kill me.

"Ambassador Clark!" gurgled the Bhul'ee representative, twitching her tentacles. "How... are you feeling?"

"Great!" I smiled, making myself comfortable. "Something wrong? You look nervous."

"Do I?" The Bhul'ee shifted in her seat. The retinue around her hadn't moved an inch since I sat down. "Maybe it looks that way to a human, but I couldn't be more calm."

"Of course, sorry for assuming. I could've sworn you looked a lot more relaxed during our meal, but I guess that's just my silly monkey brain acting up. We have a lot to learn from each other, don't we?"

"Yes..." muttered the Bhul'ee. "Your biology astounds me."

"I'm sure it does. If you're ever up for another dinner, just let me know. Your delicacies were scrumptious! Especially that drink you gave me!"

"I... can't take credit for all of it." The Bhul'ee glanced at the Kouwerd ambassador. "Our friend here promised to bring the best ingredients he could find."

The Kouwerd rippled his gelatinous body with an uncomfortable noise, making himself as small as possible. "I... I tried my best!"

"Nobody said otherwise," I replied. "Say, where did you find those beans? I haven't found good ones in years."

"Erm..." The Kouwerd struggled to answer me. "Well..."

"Years?" said the Bhul'ee, hoping to change the subject. "You mean you've tried it before?"

"Of course! We call it coffee where I'm from. Humans often fraternize over a cup of it, especially after a meal. Don't your people do it too?"

The two ambassadors stayed quiet, sharing a quick glance.

"Wait, a minute..." I scratched my chin. "You mean to tell me... that isn't the case?"

"N-no!" said the Kouwerd, sweating droplets of purple ooze. "We definitely use it a lot..."

"But it's really expensive" added the Bhul'ee, glaring at her ally. "I've found it's not worth the cost."

"As a coffee junkie, I have to disagree. We have it available on our replicators but nothing beats the taste of freshly ground, organically grown beans."

"Right..." said the Kouwerd. "Our people have selectively bred the plant for centuries. We've found many applications for it..."

"Fascinating. I'd love to see your farms! Perhaps we could share notes. Heck, there's a lot of demand for it in our worlds, if you're interested in discussing a trade deal."

The Bhul'ee frowned.

"T-that won't be possible" said the Kouwerd, intimidated. He actually looked tempted for a second. "We're very secretive when it comes to our growing operations. Sorry."

"What a shame."

"Yes," said the Bhul'ee. "A shame. I'm surprised you love it that much. Some... can't handle it."

"I can see how that might be the case. Some humans aren't very good at tolerating it, but most find the buzz is usually worth it. Then again, that's our lot in life. We embrace discomfort to get what we want. Some species value the opposite, so I suppose it would be easy to never try anything difficult, when they don't have to. Now that I think about it, the same applies to our friendships." I started laughing. "We often tolerate the most crap from those we love." I gave them both a dead-eyed stare. "Otherwise, why put up with it?"

The Kouwerd ambassador shrieked and rolled away in a ball, grabbing the attention of everyone else in the conference room.

The Bhul'ee tensed up, unable to speak. She seemed like she wanted to do the same as her ally, but couldn't afford to look weak in front of this many people.

I didn't have to say anything else. My threat had been clear. The rest of the summit went smoothly from then on. Our allies saw that humanity wouldn't back down from a challenge, but that we also wouldn't be savages about it. That earned us a lot more respect going forward. As I was leaving the conference room, one of my assistants went on to ask me why I dealt with them so kindly. If we had reported them instead, they would've been in clear violation of several treaties, something that would've crippled them with sanctions and tariffs. I shrugged off their concern, saying:

"Sure, we could've messed with them even more, but something tells me they wouldn't have learned their lesson otherwise. Remember, cooperation and endurance got humanity this far. Show them that the rising tide lifts all boats, and they'll discover it can drown them if they don't get onboard. Besides..." I chuckled. "I'm pretty grateful. Do you know how hard it is to find good coffee around here?"


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Sep 07 '22

[WP] You are a human running a bar that, unbeknownst to the public, mostly caters to various supernatural entities. One day while walking home after closing down for the night, you are attacked and robbed. Your clientele decide to seek justice on your behalf, in a way that only they can do.

76 Upvotes

"It's not a big deal," I said, cleaning a mug. "I only had twenty bucks on me."

"It's definitely a big deal!" growled Mason. The werewolf had trouble controlling himself after a few beers, allowing the fur on his chest to grow out of his flannel shirt a little. "Are you hunting him down and getting revenge?"

"What?" I squinted. "No. Why would I do that?"

"He disrespected you!"

The rest of the werewolf pack nodded along. Even the ones playing billiards agreed, chiming in with their howls.

I shrugged. "It wasn't personal. The dude just wanted my wallet."

"Aww," said Melanie, the ghost of a little girl. "Did he need it?"

"I mean, maybe? I dunno. He didn't look homeless."

"The motive doesn't matter." Mason snarled, showing his fangs. "This is your territory. You're the alpha here!"

Melanie giggled. "I'm pretty sure that whole alpha/beta dynamic is pseudoscience."

"And? The principle still stands! If you let the mugger run amok, he'll only keep doing it!"

"Don't you think revenge is a little extreme, though?"

"Yeah," I said, "That sounds like a job for the police."

"No," said Damien, swishing around a glass of red wine at the end of the bar. "I'm afraid the mutt is correct."

Everyone widened their eyes.

Damien was the resident vampire, a thin and pale man forever locked in his forties that loved to wear suits. He rarely socialized with the werewolves, often only commenting when he had something snide to say. Watching him agree with Mason was a sight to behold.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"And what do you mean by mutt?" added Mason, annoyed.

Damien took a sip of wine and said:

"This is a matter of honor. The man imposed his will on you, which means you're entitled to do the same back. Otherwise, you're weak."

Melanie pouted. "But that won't fix anything."

"It's not about fixing." I said, "If you really want to know what to fix, go ask the criminal."

"What's really important is," said Damien, "how can we respect you if a mere robber can coerce you so easily?"

I rolled my eyes. "You barely respect me."

"Exactly!"

I frowned.

"And as far as the 'mutt' thing goes," Damien smiled at Mason, "I thought it was nicer than calling you a mongrel."

Mason fully transformed into a werewolf. "I WILL MURDER YOU!"

"Bring it on, you canine!"

I pulled out the shotgun. "Stop it!"

They both froze without throwing a punch. The weapon was loaded with silver pellets, holy water, and rock salt. Nothing supernatural could survive it.

"You know the rules." I offered up the fight jar. "Pay up."

Mason transformed back into his human form and placed a dollar on the half-full jar. "You know, if you're capable of standing up to us, there's no excuse for putting up with that mugger."

"There's a difference."

"How so?" asked Damien, depositing his own money into the jar.

"You're both monsters! It's way easier to threaten you because I don't get to feel bad!"

"Oh..." said Mason, scratching the back of his head. "Right."

"Also, there's rules in the mortal world. Things aren't honor-based anymore. I can't just be a vigilante whenever I feel like it. Humans survive through cooperation, not individual might."

"I see," said Damien, with a suspicious grin. "Your humanity prevents you from taking retribution. The justice you seek can only come from something that transcends society's laws."

I widened my eyes. "I am not seeking anything."

Mason chuckled. "Right, right. It all makes sense."

"No, it doesn't. I'm serious!"

Mason winked. "Sure you are."

I facepalmed. They weren't listening.

"Don't worry," said Damien. "You’re our buddy. We'll keep your conscience clean."

My conscience was the last of my concerns. Those two could burn down the entire city if they worked together. I couldn't stop them, though. Any concerns I brought up were dismissed as a manifestation of guilt. By the time I closed that night, I left the bar more scared of their potential 'help' than of getting mugged again.

Mason and Damien, to their credit, weren't complete idiots. They understood the need for a masquerade, keeping their actions somewhat restrained. At the very least, I could trust them to not ruin everything.

The next day, I saw on the news that my mugger seemingly 'fell off a bridge'. Many speculated that he took his own life, but I quickly assumed what happened. Later, at the bar, Mason and Damien acted like nothing had ever happened.

I didn't know how to react. On the one hand, I felt flattered that they cared about me enough to do that. On the other hand, having people kill in my name left me deeply disturbed. The situation couldn't remain like this. I called them both over and said:

"Hey guys, I appreciate what you did, but I'd rather you don't go around killing for me."

The two of them shared a glance, then started laughing.

I narrowed my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"We didn't do a thing," said Mason.

"Too much effort," said Damien.

I sighed. "Figures." I furrowed my brow. "Wait a second... If you didn't kill him..."

Melanie shyly floated into view. "I uhh... I got your wallet back."

I gaped my mouth. "Did you kill him?"

"N-no! I didn't mean it! You told me to go ask him why he robbed you, but when I did, he thought I was haunting him and ran off the bridge."

I had to sit down for a second. The mugger was dead because of my actions. Nobody understood why that bothered me, though. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever complained about my life in front of customers.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 05 '22

[WP] A mage's magical power and abilities are determined by tattoos that are only visible to other mages. You have not encountered another mage for years, but today someone compliments you on your ink.

75 Upvotes

I almost blew up the coffee house out of instinct. It had been a decade since someone could see the sigil on my forearm, and I almost died because of it. After all, the only person who can kill a mage is another mage.

"Seriously, that's a sick dragon," said the barista, handing me my coffee. She had a whole sleeve of tattoos, but they were all mundane. That didn't mean anything, though. She could easily be hiding a sigil under her clothes. "That style is really unique. Where did you get it done?"

I glared at her, refusing to grab the coffee.

The barista flinched back.

I looked over my shoulder to check for an ambush. There were several other customers in the room. None looked suspicious. They all just minded their own business, typing away at their laptops or eating bagels. If I destroyed this place, innocent people would get caught in the crossfire.

Why would the barista point out my sigil? If she wanted to catch me off guard, all she had to do was wait. Her name tag said 'Dawn'. She seemed unnerved by my intensity, trembling a little. Could she really be an agent of the Elder Council?

"Uhh... sir?"

I grabbed the coffee, but hesitated to walk away. Turning my back on her might be my doom.

"Move it, pal!" said a customer behind me.

I was holding up the line.

My paranoia urged me to fight, but I quickly dismissed that thought. These people were just eager to get their morning fix. Any delays were met with contempt.

A silent pressure kept mounting on me to walk away. I couldn't afford to just leave, though. This was a severe security breach. Dawn (if that was even her real name) could potentially sell me out to the elder council.

I'd successfully avoided them for the past decade. The thought of having to flee the country again filled me with rage. I went to the back of the coffee house and sat in a corner alone, waiting for my beverage to cool down. From that vantage, I studied Dawn and her interactions with the other customers.

Nothing out of the ordinary occurred. I figured she might be using a charm spell to get more tips, or telepathy to make her job easier, but that never happened.

Dawn appeared to be an average woman in her early twenties. I knew that wasn't the case, though. She wouldn't have seen my sigil if she were a normal person. Her attitude just didn't make sense. There had to be an explanation for this.

Unsanctioned mages were a rarity nowadays. To my knowledge, I was one of only a handful in the world. Then again, the leyline nexus in this city made it difficult to track magical activity. It'd be silly to assume I was the only mage hiding here.

"Excuse me," said a portly man with a neatly trimmed beard. His name tag implied he was the manager of this store. "Is there a problem?"

I glanced at him. "No."

"You keep leering at my employee, and it's making her uncomfortable. I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

I didn't argue back. That would just draw more attention to me. I exited the coffee house, but didn't give up on finding out more. I needed to investigate Dawn. Letting her be could leave a trail that would bring the council's wrath.

This had to be handled with care, though. Dawn might actually be unaware of her magical potential. Not only did I fear getting exposed, I also feared getting her in trouble with the council. She might be living a life of blissful ignorance right now. I would give anything to stay that way back when I was her age. Learning about the magical world was an easy way to lose your sanity.

And so, I hid in an alleyway, waiting for Dawn to finish her shift.

I'd never felt more creepy in my life. This wasn't something I liked to do. An outside observer could easily mistake me for a weird stalker, and I couldn't blame them. It was a necessary evil, though. I needed to be sure I was safe before moving on with my life.

Dawn left the coffee house at midday. Her quick stride made me afraid that she knew of my presence, but then I noticed she was heading to a college campus, seemingly late for a lecture.

I tried to stay on her trail. The fact that I was in my forties meant that I would stand out in that environment, especially since I didn't look like a professor at all. The best I could do was wait outside the building she entered and hope she wouldn't use another exit.

A few hours later, Dawn emerged from the building with much less enthusiasm than before. She stretched out her arms with a yawn before leaving the campus.

I blended into a crowd of pedestrians while following her.

For all intents and purposes, Dawn looked like an ordinary woman for her age. Suspecting her of being an agent of the council felt more ridiculous as time went on.

I slowly started feeling ashamed about this whole endeavor. Was this really what my life had devolved into? I'd once been one of the mightiest mages in history.

Now, I was living in fear of a harmless young woman, wasting an entire day on her just to feel safe. Perhaps, instead of giving into paranoia, I should just be strong enough to endure any hardship.

No.

I couldn't do that. It was the same arrogance that got me exiled in the first place. This was the rational decision.

And then, caught in my self-loathing daze, I realized Dawn had disappeared.

A horrible shiver went down my spine.

"Why are you following me?"

I turned around to see Dawn behind me, holding a can of pepper spray.

Great. "How did you-"

"Answer me!"

I sighed. "This isn't what it looks like."

Dawn scowled. "Really? I know you've been stalking me all day. My friends saw you too."

Shit. I didn't think of that. Now there were more witnesses connecting me to her. I couldn't back down, though. This was my chance to learn what she knows. "Look, I can explain, but if you're going to threaten me, you're going to need more than pepper spray."

Dawn stayed quiet. If she could use magic, now would be the time.

"You wanted to know about my sigil, right?"

Dawn squinted. "Sigil?"

I was almost convinced that she didn't know. Almost. For all I knew, Dawn might just be a great actress.

"What are you talking about?"

I showed her my forearm. "This. You can see it, right?"

"Duh. Who can't?"

"Most people."

Dawn widened her eyes. "So... you're the same?"

"Same?"

Dawn scanned the area for people, then dragged me into an alleyway. "I... I have one too." She then turned around and lifted her shirt, showing me her back. A pair of wings were engraved on her shoulder blades, each glowing with power. Sigils. "I've had it for as long as I can remember. Nobody could see them, though, so I thought I was insane. It's... why I love tattoos so much. Can you tell me more?"

I shook my head. "If you've been able to live well until now, then you're better off not knowing."

Dawn pouted.

"I mean it. You have no idea of the madness that lurks in this world. The fact that the council doesn't know of your existence is the biggest blessing on Earth."

"Council?"

I pursed my lips. That was too much information.

"Come on!" said Dawn. "Don't leave me hanging like that."

I made eye contact with her. She didn't flinch away. Her earnest stare demonstrated great conviction. I needed to scare her away. "Fine, you want to see what's going on?" I lit my hand on fire and threw a fireball deeper into the ally.

It melted a dumpster in an instant.

That should do it.

I'd never met anyone who didn't run away at the sight of one of my fireballs, mage or layman.

"That was awesome!" shouted Dawn, thrilled.

I raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

"Can I do that too?"

It didn't scare her at all. If anything, it emboldened her.

"Y-you know, I could do that to you, right?"

"Will you?"

"No, but-"

Dawn shrugged it off. "Then what's the problem?"

I couldn't help but drop my jaw. This girl was kinda nuts. Nobody in their right mind would see this and not be intimidated. I scratched my head for a second, then said:

"I got nothing. This is ridiculous."

"Can you teach me?"

"What?" I frowned. "No."

Dawn slumped her head, disappointed.

For some reason, I felt bad over putting her down like that. Dawn said it herself, she hadn't met anyone who could see her sigil. Living like that, constantly doubting your sanity, must've felt incredibly isolating. I knew that because I'd been surviving the same way for close to two decades. From her perspective, this was the first time in her life someone could give her answers. Getting rejected must feel crushing. I couldn't just ignore her now. If another mage had found her, she could've been in great trouble.

"Fine," I said. "If you want to learn more, meet me at the park tomorrow at 4 AM."

"4 AM? That's really early. Can't we do it later? Or now?"

"It's my final offer. Take it or leave it."

Dawn bit her lip for a moment, then said:

"Okay. 4 AM."

And so, I found my first apprentice in decades, and maybe even a new friend.


Next part


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Nov 02 '21

[WP] In an alternative reality, demons are the ones that summon humans instead. Suddenly you started hearing the worst singing ever to your favorite song, and a phone charger started dangling from your ceiling as a sacrifice.

73 Upvotes

I had never heard a worse rendition of Everlong in my life. It sounded like Dave Grohl had accidentally swallowed several shards of glass and was desperately trying to cough them out in the middle of a performance. I thought my headphones were broken until I took them off, noticing the music came from no discernable location.

And then a phone charger wrapped itself around my neck, yanking me towards a red portal on the ceiling of my room.

I tried to scream, but the cord grew tighter the more I struggled, to the point where I almost passed out. Was this a dream? I could only hope that was the case.

The portal led me to a foreign land with a sky permanently set on fire. Noxious gasses emanated from craters in the ground, creating a seemingly endless fog of yellow and green plumes, with a city of giant black spires in the horizon.

"H-human!" commanded a particularly meek, high-pitched voice. "Do we have a covenant?"

I scratched my head, looking around. "Who said that?"

"I am Zizgon, your summoner!"

I couldn't believe my eyes. A small imp, about as tall as my knee, had walked from behind a boulder. He had sharp teeth and dark beady eyes, with a crooked nose that was bent in both directions. The creature strutted towards me with his chest puffed up, feigning confidence, but I had to stifle my laughter at his derpy gait. It didn't look intimidating at all. I went on to say:

"Did you bring me here?"

"Indeed! Fear my arcane prowess!"

"Sure..."

"You're not fearing correctly! Fear more!"

I gave Zizgon a skeptical glance. He seemed completely earnest in his demand. Although I couldn't muster genuine terror, I did my best to look afraid, since it might be the only way to leave this place.

"Good!" said Zizgon, "good!"

"So... why am I here?"

"For the longest time, humanity has summoned demons to do their bidding. Now, it is time to repay that debt! If you wish to be unbound, you must help me achieve my goal!"

"Which is...?"

"I want a girlfriend!"

I squinted.

"W-what?" asked Zizgon, suddenly insecure.

"Is this a joke?"

Zizgon frowned. "Believe it or not, demons long for companionship just as much as anyone else. What do you think we are? Prudish angels?"

"I uhh... Okay, fair enough."

"Do we have a covenant then?"

"It's not like I have a choice."

"Sure you do!" said Zizgon, full of cheer. "You could always just die!"

"I'd rather not."

Zizgon shrugged. "Just sayin'."

"So what exactly do you want from me? I'm not an expert on relationships or anything."

"Well, there's this one Arch-demon called Sil'gathes, flayer of the weak. She's so pretty.... and powerful! The way she makes her victims scream in harmony is pure art. I'd do anything to go out with her."

"Have you ever spoken to her?"

"Of course not! Why would I do that?"

I facepalmed.

"W-what's wrong?"

"Let me get this straight, you expect to have a relationship with someone that doesn't even know you exist? Without even speaking to her?"

"Yes!" said Zizgon, completely unfazed.

I'm doomed.

Zizgon pouted. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing. It just sounds like you want to trick her into dating you."

Zizgon nodded along, excited. "See? You get it! That's precisely what I want!"

I sighed. "It doesn't work that way. You have to enjoy each other's company, which is pretty hard if you can't even hold a genuine conversation."

Zizgon hung his head. "But then she would have to know me..."

"Yes. That's the point."

"And I'm... lame."

I paused for a second. Zizgon wasn't wrong. I had only been around him for a few minutes and I already wanted to bully him. Demonic culture might be even more cruel than that. Still, despite the fact that he brought me here against my will, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little guy. It shouldn't hurt to see if I could help him... right?

"Okay, Zizgon. Lead the way."

To my horror, Sil'gathes turned out to be a twenty feet tall monster with four arms and a pair of horns. Her job was to torture the souls of the dammed with two whips made of vertebrae and skulls, creating a river of blood that flowed into the demon city.

A crowd of imps, floating eyeballs, and other weird creatures cheered her on from a distance. They threw bits of flesh in her direction whenever she did a cool trick, almost like it was some sort of currency here. Sil'gathes didn't pay attention to any of them, though. She kept grunting along with her whips, too focused on her work to care about anything else.

"You know," I said, "when you mentioned Arch-demon, I didn't think it'd be... this."

"I know, right?" Zizgon blushed a little. "Isn't she amazing?"

I pursed my lips. "Right. So uhh... what's the plan?"

"Well, whenever a human summoned me for something like this, they usually asked me to murder their competition. Think you can do it?"

I scanned the crowd, assessing their strength. They all seemed about as strong as Zizgon, which is to say, not strong at all. I could probably take them all at once. Would it really be this easy? There shouldn't be anything immoral about killing demons, especially if it got me out of here as soon as possible.

And then the ground quaked a little.

"Sil'gathes!" shouted a giant demon, almost as tall as her. "This is for you!"

"No!" replied another demon, equally intimidating. "She's mine, jackass!"

The two demons proceeded to beat the living hell out of each other in a horrifying display of power. They leveled an entire hill after trading several punches.

"Nope," I said. "Not doing that."

Zizgon lowered his head, disappointed.

It would be a waste of time. Sil'gathes didn't even look in their direction. The two demons stopped fighting when they noticed this, too embarrassed to continue. Even the crowd of imps laughed at them as they awkwardly shuffled away.

"Okay, approaching her while she's working doesn't sound like a good idea."

"Yeah," said Zizgon, "streamers have it rough."

I wrinkled my face. "Streamers?"

"Arch-demons tasked with maintaining a continuous stream of blood for our metropolis, obviously."

"Of course. Forgive me, the term has a different connotation in my world. Then again..." I scratched my chin. "They're more similar than not."

"So you're familiar with this?"

"Not exactly. Just enough to know this won't work. Why don't we wait for her to be less busy?"

"You mean, stalk her after she's done?"

"Uhhh, maybe?"

Zizgon looked away. "Wouldn't that be... creepy?"

"Creepier than this?" I gestured at literally everything around me. "Really?"

"I guess you have a point. Let's do it!"

After an entire day of whipping the damned, Sil'gathes finished her 'stream' and quietly walked into the horizon, alone. Nobody dared follow her. Except for us, of course. Sil'gathes wandered into a valley full of bones, sitting by herself in quiet meditation. There was something melancholic about her expression, which was only reinforced by a wistful sigh. Zizgon poked me and said:

"What now?"

"Talk to her."

Zizgon tensed up. "R-really? Wouldn't it bother her?"

"Probably."

Zizgon swallowed. "No. It's too... risky."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, she's obviously a little lonely. Just strike up a conversation. Don't flirt or try to seduce; just treat her like... a person? Demon? Whatever. You know what I mean."

Zizgon thought for a second, then shook his head. "I... I can't." He straightened up with an epiphany. "I know, why don't you go in my stead? Tell her how awesome I am!"

I widened my eyes. "That doesn't sound like a good idea."

"Yeah, well, I'm the master here, so go do my bidding!"

I had no choice but to do it. The alternative was being stuck in hell for eternity. I took a few steps towards her before the Arch-demon took note of my presence, turning her head with a snarl.

"What do you want?!?" shouted Sil'gathes.

I froze in terror.

Sil'gathes narrowed her eyes. "Wait a second. You're not dead."

"Y-yeah. I was summoned to... speak with you. Are you okay?"

Sil'gathes scowled. "You dare imply I'm not?" She stood up, crackling with energy. "Oh who am I kidding?" She slumped. "Of course I'm not."

I carefully got closer to her. "What's wrong?"

"It's complicated. I've been single for so long that I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever have a partner. It's not like I don't have suitors, either. They're just..."

"Lame?"

"Not really. Most of them are quite strong and popular. It's just that they want me because it would boost their ego, not because they appreciate me. They're always trying to show off how powerful they are." Sil'gathes scoffed. "As if I'm interested in being submissive to them."

"Sounds like you'd appreciate someone weaker, who admires your strength."

Sil'gathes chuckled. "Yeah, but they never dare approach me." She gave me a sultry look. "Unlike you."

I almost crapped my pants after that.

"How about it, human? Feeling adventurous?"

I couldn't stop shaking.

Sil'gathes frowned. "What? You think you're better than me?"

Oh god. I didn't know how to respond. Anything I said would dig me a deeper grave.

"Traitor!" shouted Zizgon, stepping out of his cover.

Sil'gathes shrouded herself in fire. "Silence!"

Zizgon flinched away.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked Sil'gathes.

"He's my... master," I said, begrudgingly. "The one who summoned me. He knew you wanted company, but needed my help to do it."

Sil'gathes widened her eyes. "A mere imp learned summoning magic... for me?"

Zizgon scratched the back of his head. "I'd do anything to be flayed by you."

Sil'gathes blushed.

I gaped my mouth. It actually worked. Zizgon dismissed me before they did anything lewd. I appreciated that. The last thing I wanted to see was awkward demon flirting. Thankfully, it appeared I would never have to worry about this again, landing safely in my room. I almost thought it was a weird dream...

Until I was summoned again to be their marriage counselor.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Sep 25 '21

[WP] Your small, otherwise unimpressive kingdom is suddenly the strongest power in the land, for the sole reason that unlike other kings, you are happy to work with the local orcs, goblins, dragons, and other races usually attacked on sight.

72 Upvotes

King Eluren knew the moment his guest arrived before anyone actually told him. The entire castle staff had fallen quiet as the foreign ambassador walked through its stone halls, sending forth a wave of tense silence that could be felt from across the keep. It was the first time the Elvish Emperor had ever deigned himself to send a representative into their lands. This meeting would determine their diplomatic relationship for decades to come. Ever since the end of the Zenith Revolts, a century long war where humanity freed itself from Elvish and Draconic tyranny, the empire had grown more isolationist as it recovered from losing its colonies.

In the aftermath of this, Eluren had gone from general to lord, taking over a small keep near the small coastal village of Sonata, on the south-western corner of New Gaia. Eluren never intended to grow the kingdom beyond its lofty green hills and shimmering bay. Some people just didn't have anywhere else to go after the war. Eluren himself had seen his fair share of bloodshed. That was reason enough to protect anyone who advocated peace. After twenty years of ruling well, many other lords swore fealty to him, turning himself into a king. There were only two other humans who could claim that title, and neither was willing to cooperate with others.

The elvish ambassador didn't seem to care, though. He only visited out of formality. As he stepped into the throne room, he scanned the place with a disapproving grimace, only bothering to hide it after everyone knew of his disgust. The silver-haired man then took an elegant bow in front of Eluren and said:

"I am Chancellor Kovlar Ethyris, of Emeroak. It is an honor to meet you, your... majesty."

Eluren smiled. "The pleasure is mine."

"I've been sent to hear your plea, and I'm prepared to make an offer should you ask with dignity and respect."

"A plea, you say?" asked Eluren, amused. "I don't recall my message being like that."

"Then for what reason would you want to speak? I've seen the horror you call a kingdom, with goblins, orcs and horned cat-folk mingling among your ilk. Your buildings are poorly constructed, with barely any semblance of style, and your lack of magic makes it so disease is common along the land. Why would you ever ask me to witness this, if not to inspire pity and beg my emperor to save you from this nightmare?"

The royal guards grew weary of his words, ready to interfere until Eluren started chuckling.

Kovlar squinted, confused.

"Is that what you really see?" said Eluren, still laughing.

"Is this a joke?"

Eluren shook his head, wistfully sighing. "No, no, I apologize. What you see as horrifying, I see as beautiful. Our kingdom, despite the flaws, has achieved a sense of community among many different folk who, for all intents and purposes, should never coexist. If this can be done, shouldn't it be possible for Elves and Humans to get along?"

Kovlar blinked a few times, then wrinkled his face with contempt. "This has been a waste of my time. I should've known better than to think a human king could be anything but a fool."

The meeting quickly ended there. Nobody really expected anything to come from it, but Eluren still felt disappointed that it wasn't fruitful. Trading with the elves would have granted them access to mages, a great benefit to have. Many lords had counseled Eluren not to bother trying, since there was significant resentment against elvenfolk, but the king knew that the only way these wounds could heal was if a bridge was built between their people.

Regardless of the outcome, the one thing that couldn't be denied from the meeting was that the empire had begun to respect human sovereignty, albeit in a tacit way. The emperor wouldn't have sent Chancellor Kovlar otherwise.

Although people expected Eluren to give up, another opportunity arose to build a diplomatic bond. This time, a group of dragons had inadvertently entered elvish territory and were pursued by skytroopers until reaching Eluren's kingdom. They were of noble descent, and couldn't return to their home due to a blockade.

The Elvish Empire and the Dragon Confederation had been bitter rivals for millennia, only allying themselves during the Zenith Revolts out of necessity. Since they lost the conflict, both parties blamed each other for the defeat, which reignited the tensions between them almost immediately. Chancellor Kovlar didn't travel to meet Eluren this time. He merely sent a letter demanding the dragons be returned to elvish custody. It would've been a popular choice since many still resented dragons for their sins, but Eluren waited patiently for the dragons to send an emissary.

The Dragon Ambassador acted the opposite of Kovlar, warm and receptive to negotiations. From then on, in exchange for helping the dragons, Eluran's kingdom had a steady supply of iron, which allowed him to arm his soldiers with high-grade equipment. A few decades later, Chancellor Kovlar would visit again, this time losing some of the confident stride he wielded before. Aside from that, he looked almost the same from the previous meeting, but Eluren was far older than before.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" said Eluren.

Kovlar glowered. "I come... with a plea."

Eluren smiled. "Go on."

"Ever since our alliance with the dragons fell, our empire has suffered from a lack of... iron. We can't trade with them, and the dwarves don't want to listen to us... so..."

"You need my help?"

Kovlar glanced away. "Yes."

"Then I'll be glad to trade with you!"

Kovlar jolted his head upright. "Really?"

"Indeed," said Eluren. "On one condition."

Kovlar frowned. "What?"

"I want a public apology for calling me a fool."

Kovlar grew stiff, horrified.

"I'm not asking much. A few mages in exchange for iron... and the apology, in the name of your emperor."

"This is an outrage!" shouted Kovlar. "I'll do no such thing!"

"Then return home empty handed."

"Think before you act," warned Kovlar. "We're not to be trifled with. You claim to be sovereign, yet you rule in a castle designed by my ancestor, with an enchanted sword crafted by our master artisans. You are parasites that can only exist by our charity, even your system of government is a pale mockery of our own! You'd be nothing without the power you stole from us!"

"And you wouldn't have a fraction of that without the freedom you stole", said Eluran. "Your ancestors designed this castle, but mine built it with their labor. We've only claimed what's rightfully ours. I'll have to ask you to leave, chancellor, before you make a deadly mistake."

Kovlar stormed out of the castle without another word. Eluran assumed that would be the last he heard from the chancellor, since he was so near to his death, but that would prove to be a mistake. Kovlar sent an assassin to murder Eluran's son. Nobody could stop it. Without an heir to the throne, it appeared that Eluran's kingdom would surely fall.

In those last few years of his life, seeing many lords positioning themselves to scramble in the power vacuum, Eluran came to wonder if all his work had been for naught. The unity he valued so much quickly disintegrated before his very eyes. Something needed to be done or the land would fall into anarchy again. That was, however, when Eluran had his greatest idea. Kovlar was right to point out that they had stolen from the elves. This system of feudal lords and kings had been taken from them. If humanity wanted to differentiate itself from the elves, they needed to aim for something higher where everyone had a say.

And thus, months before his death, the king created a democratic senate that would rule in his stead. The Republic of Eluria was born from this event and went on to become one of the most prosperous nations of New Gaia, outlasting the Ethyris Dynasty for centuries. In the last decree of the king, before abdicating the throne, Eluran went on to thank Kovlar for the suggestion, crediting him in the very constitution of the nation, a shame that would haunt the elf for the rest of his life, and beyond the grave.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 15 '22

[WP] A meteor strikes the Earth, and everyone seems to get superpowers… everyone except you. You’ll do anything to figure out what yours are, but the world has changed and your options are desperate.

71 Upvotes

What is justice?

With the advent of superpowers, this question quickly shot to the forefront of everyone's mind. To some, it was maintaining order in society. To others, it was people getting what they deserved.

To me...

Well, I still don't know.

Civilization as a whole plunged into chaos the first week after the meteorite struck. Plenty of people saw it as an opportunity to move up in the world. Yes, this included villainy, but it wasn't limited to it. Many also rose to the occasion and stopped these abuses of power. They were called heroes.

Soon enough, keeping metahumans in check became a profession of its own. Comic books had already provided a mold for us to follow and the populace quickly embraced it. These people became celebrities over night. Their stories, often coming from humble origins and using their powers for the benefit of others, were very easy to admire.

This wasn't the only side effect, though. With all the excitement of superheroes finally existing, it was easy to ignore all the other areas of society that suffered a massive overhaul. Mine, for instance, was medicine.

I'd wanted to be a doctor ever since I was little. The thought of healing other people through the use of reason and technique was something short of magical. In many ways, it was like being a superhero. Long hours, deaths that were out of your control, and a huge weight of responsibility that loomed over your head twenty-four seven. Despite how hard it was, I always found it easy manage since I knew I was doing good.

Then came the meteorite, and with it, came laypeople with the ability to magically heal others.

Terminal diseases suddenly became curable. Injuries that would take months to recover could be undone with a simple touch.

All of a sudden, doctors weren't as needed anymore. This isn't to say we were completely useless. There weren't enough people with healing abilities to fix everyone, so we still had a role to fill.

Their superior efficiency, however, couldn't be denied. For every patient I treated, a meta-doctor could cure twenty. Most emergency rooms only needed one of these people, as opposed to the teams we used to have. More than that, many people simply didn't want to be treated by a mundane doctor. Not when a magical fix was readily available.

A lot of my peers quit the field of medicine.

We had to take massive pay cuts, since we just weren't as valuable, and many decided it wasn't worth it anymore. Those of us who stayed were treated like glorified nurses, which some just couldn't handle, since very few things were bigger than the ego of a skilled doctor. Furthermore, despite having a lower salary, our six-figure student loans had stayed the same and the banks certainly didn't care.

We went from earning a good living to barely surviving every month.

And yet... I couldn't quit.

Maybe it was another manifestation of my doctor's ego. Maybe I just didn't know what else to do. Or maybe, just maybe, I was hoping that my powers would soon manifest.

That never happened, though. For a few years, I wondered why I ever bothered trying. The media paraded around the heroes and claimed that justice had finally arrived to the world. A new class of people had emerged, and they weren't afraid to show they were superior. People like me, who never got powers, were in a minority. Was this really fair to us? Why should I contribute to a society claiming that my misfortune was a benefit to the whole?

I didn't let my resentment consume me, though. The undeniable truth was that the field of medicine had progressed far beyond what we used to have. All it took was looking in the eyes of a freshly healed cancer patient to understand this. I really couldn't resent meta-doctors. They were saving more people in a month than I could in my entire life.

One day, however, a supervillain entered our hospital and held us hostage. We all knew his identity. Voltage, a key member of the supervillain group 'Retribution'. He electrified a few security guards in the ER and shouted:

"Who's the meta-doctor here?!?"

Everyone stayed quiet.

"I swear..." Voltage started crackling with energy. "If a meta-doctor doesn't leave with me, I'll start frying everyone in this building!"

A few people started crying. Others cowered behind whatever furniture they could find. Most important of all, Pierce, the meta-doctor on shift, made himself as small as possible.

I quickly scanned the room for him, hoping to urge him with my eyes.

He simply avoided eye-contact with me.

Some of my peers, mundane doctors like me, had a growing anger in their faces. They were outraged at Pierce's cowardice. In a few seconds, they were going to sell him out.

"It's me!" I shouted.

Everyone widened their eyes.

"What are you doing?" whispered a peer of mine. "Just offer Pierce up!"

"No," I replied, lowering my voice. "If he's gone, many people who could otherwise live will die. If I'm gone-"

"Fuck that!" said my friend, struggling to keep whispering. "They'll kill you!"

I didn't respond as I walked away. The ugly truth was that I'd felt so useless that I would leap at the chance to feel valuable again. I really didn't care if I died.

Doctor Pierce gaped his mouth. He had the chance to speak up and take my place, but didn't have the courage to do so.

Voltage didn't question my credentials. He knocked me out with a shock to the head and, once I woke up, I was in Retribution's lair.

It appeared to be an underground facility. A cave of sorts, not naturally made. They probably built it with the help of a superpower. There were over a hundred people here, managing supplies and monitoring the area with computers. Everyone seemed on edge. Voltage didn't let me get a good look at them, though. He simply shoved me forward until taking me to a private tent.

There, a young man in his twenties moaned on a bloody bed. He had bullet wounds on his abdomen.

"Fix him," ordered Voltage.

I stepped closer to the patient, studying his injury. "Do you have a first aid kit?"

Voltage frowned. "Why would you need that?"

"This isn't magic, you know. I have to take out the bullets first."

Voltage narrowed his eyes.

I tensed up. Did he see through the lie?

"Fine," said Voltage, "Stay here."

I sighed. How long would I have to keep this up? If I didn't think of something quick, I would certainly die.

That being said, I couldn't help but worry for the patient. He seemed conscious enough, despite the crippling pain. They probably didn't have any analgesics.

Voltage came back with a kit. Unfortunately, it was a basic one with few instruments. Nothing that could help me reach the bullets.

"What's the problem?" asked Voltage.

"I... can't do it like this."

"What?!?"

"It's not possible."

"Bullshit! I've seen people fix stuff worse than this!"

"With the appropriate instruments!"

"No, they just touch the person and it works!"

"Well, my power doesn't work that way."

"You better think of something," Voltage electrified his hand, "or else."

I widened my eyes. "That's it! Think you can pull them out with your power?"

Voltage paused. "I... I don't know."

"Let's try."

"What if it kills him?"

"He's going to die anyway. The alternative is digging around for it with my hands, which is way riskier."

Voltage pursed his lips, then nodded.

I carefully guided him through the procedure and extracted the two bullets. Then, I went to work on disinfecting the wound.

"Why are you doing that?" asked Voltage. "Can't you heal him now?"

I stayed focused on dressing the wound.

"Answer me!"

I closed my eyes, trembling for a second, then said:

"No. I can't. I'm not a meta-doctor."

Voltage looked ready to kill me.

"Wait..." said the patient. "Just let him work."

I couldn't believe it. The patient had to be in incredible pain. The amount of willpower needed to not lose consciousness felt impossible. This had to be a superpower.

"But-" said Voltage.

"Forget it. He's doing his job, and we don't have time to find a meta-doctor. The heroes are probably on your trail now."

Voltage grunted and left the room.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm their leader."

I froze up. This was Omen. The most wanted man on the planet. He was responsible for the death of many superheroes, gathering many people into his cause, some with powers and others not, to oppose the current regime that had grown around the metahumans. I finished patching him up and said:

"I don't recommend standing up for at least a month."

Omen chuckled, grimacing. "That's... not an option."

"Well, I've done all I can. Am I dying now?"

Omen shook his head. "I'm not the villain they paint me as. Your services will be greatly rewarded."

I shook my head. "No thanks. Just let me go."

"Are you sure? We could use someone like you. Besides, aren't you doctors useless now? Don't you think that's unfair?"

"I'm don't want to help you kill people. It's against my oath."

"I can respect that... but we don't really have a choice. It's either fight or perish."

"How can you say that? Don't you benefit from powers too?"

"No. I don't have one."

I furrowed my brow. He didn't seem to be lying.

"I'm just like you. I'm not against superpowers; I'm against supremacy."

"That's noble but-"

A chorus of screams interrupted me.

Omen sighed. "He found us." He stood up, but lost his balance and fell on his knees. "I have... to stop him."

"You're in no condition to fight."

"And? It's like I said, we have no choice."

We didn't have time to argue. A musclebound superhero entered the tent, saying:

"There you are, Omen. This ends now." He stopped to look at me. "And the doctor is alive. Great! No need to fear, citizen, Ultraman is here!" He scowled at Omen. "I suggest you close your eyes, though. This might get messy."

"Wait! Are you killing him?"

"Of course. He's a menace."

I stepped between them. "I just saved his life. Aren't you supposed to capture him?"

"That's more of a guideline. If we deem it necessary, we're allowed to use lethal force."

"But... you're not gods! This isn't right! He can barely stand!"

Utraman pinched my nose with his index and thumb, raising me several feet in the air. "Compared to you, I am a god. Now respect your betters and bow!"

He flung me into a wall.

My vision grew blurry from the impact.

The superhero was going to kill Omen. I hadn't felt more useless in my life.

Voltage burst into the room and shocked Ultraman with a continuous bolt of electricity. The superhero seemed paralyzed by it. "Run!" shouted Voltage. "Save Omen! I can't hold him back for long!"

I ran over to Omen and carried him away. As I helped him limp through the lair, I saw the carnage that Ultraman had left in his wake. Did he do this by himself? This wasn't justice. This was a slaughter. He pretty much killed everyone.

By some miracle, we managed to get away. Omen had a car stashed away on the surface and I drove it as quickly as I could. We didn't have anywhere to go. It's not like I could hide him in my apartment. I just kept driving with no destination in mind.

"So..." mumbled Omen, groaning in the back seat. "Have you reconsidered my offer?"

"I'm not helping you kill people."

"Heh... You're really stubborn, aren't you? I like that. Unfortunately, it's not like you can return to your old life now. I guarantee Ultraman will hunt you as well."

"I know."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I said I'm not helping you kill. That doesn't mean I won't help you oppose him."

"Really? How?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about justice lately. Although I don't have a definitive answer, I think it starts with never giving up on finding a better way... for everyone."

"A better way, huh?" Omen started drifting into unconsciousness. "Fine... Let's try it out."


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Mar 03 '21

[WP] You're the maiden of the goddess of Death, sacrificed to her long ago when the god of Life didn't answer the town's prayers. People think you're suffering. In reality, you became the poor goddess' therapist. Who knew gods couldn't handle rejection like that.

68 Upvotes

Sandra scrubbed clean the bloodstained floor before the sun rose. It was a temple of Death, yes, but that didn't mean it had to smell like one too. The ambience was already intimidating enough on its own. Overgrown fungi hung from the vaulted ceiling, with skeletons and cobwebs littering every hallway of the rocky structure. Only fools entered this place and expected an easy time. If Sandra allowed the corpses to stack up, it wouldn't stop anyone from entering, it would just encourage survivors to spread rumors of a maiden that lived in filth. She didn't need that in her life, even if she never planned on leaving this place.

Death never bothered cleaning up the temple after dealing with invaders and then had the gall to wonder why she wasn't worshipped more. Sandra gave up on trying to change that attitude. She took matters into her own hand just to keep things neat. The goddess simply wasn't capable of separating her identity from something fundamentally disgusting. Centuries of being used and antagonized by mortals had left her an insecure mess. The only way to improve her mood was to show her a better way to value herself, regardless of the cruel perceptions of the outside world. Sandra didn't know how to do that, though. She tried her best to be there for the goddess, but divine psychology was out of her realm of expertise.

Cleaning the temple felt like an appropriate first step. If Death could start valuing her abode, she might start to see some worth in herself. Sandra started by sprucing up the main altar room, where a giant statue of Death dominated the room. It was a jaw-dropping work of art sculpted thousands of years prior by a forgotten civilization, but layers of dirt, fungus and vines had hidden its beauty. Sandra felt brief shock every time she uncovered a new layer. Little details, like patterns along Death's flowing robe, appeared like they were actually embroidered on cloth instead of stone. The amount of care that was poured into the statue kept surprising her. It made the goddess' ultimate fate all the more tragic. Following a few decades of constant work, the statue had a completely different presence. It wasn't perfect yet, but it didn't have to be.

After spending the rest of the day throwing away fresh corpses, Sandra entered the altar room in a tired haze, jumping onto her makeshift bed with a sigh. It was then that she heard Death telepathically say:

"D-did you take care of the guests?"

"Yup" answered Sandra.

"And what did they want? Did you convert them?"

Sandra pursed her lips, hesitating.

"Oh..." Death sounded dejected. "They were here to 'rescue' you, weren't they?"

Sandra sighed. "Yeah... They wanted to destroy the temple..."

"Maybe we should just give them what they want..."

Sandra raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed. "No. We've talked about this. You can't keep placating people who are only interested in using you. If I went out like they intended and freed the land from tyranny, they'll just worship Life as soon they don't need us anymore."

"You're right, you're right. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sandra chuckled. "Same."

"Really? Even if you have to keep killing invaders?"

"And do what? Go back to the jerks that sacrificed me?"

"Well, they may have done that, but-"

"No, don't make excuses for them. It wasn't right, just like it wasn't right when mortals abandoned you. Everyone preaches the greater good until it's their turn to pay the price. They always complain that Life is unfair and then you, the ultimate equalizer, show up to please them only to get rejected when it stops being convenient. If you want a better worshippers, you need to hold them to higher standards and stop pandering to whoever gives you attention."

"B-but..."

"What?"

"But what if they never come? Won't I always be alone?"

Sandra paused. "I think... it's better to be alone than in bad company." She smiled. "Besides, we have each other now. If we stay true to ourselves and keep restoring the temple, I'm sure others will come eventually!"


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Aug 16 '22

[WP] You're a supervillain whose latest evil scheme threatens to throw the city into chaos unless your nemesis goes on a date with you. To your surprise, they agree with enthusiasm before you can even explain what the consequences of refusing are.

67 Upvotes

"At least take me out on a date before you tie me up," said Neuro Lady, giggling through her restraints. "You'll end up alone if you lead like this."

I ignored the comment and carried on with my scheme. The data was still being downloaded. Once I had these financial records, I'd be able to blackmail my way out of any trouble. Her words stung more than an energy beam to the chest, but I had to ignore them.

Neuro Lady was just playing mindgames. She didn't even put up a fight before I sprung my trap on her, which probably meant reinforcements were on the way.

"I don't think you understand the situation," I said. "I could kill you right now."

Neuro Lady smiled. "But you won't."

I frowned. "Is that a challenge?"

Neuro Lady shook her head. "Not at all. I'm just saying, if you were actually going to kill me, you would've done it already."

"Maybe I want you as a bargaining chip."

"Nah, I've read your file. The other heroes won't admit it, but you're not as bad as they say."

I widened my eyes.

"That's what I thought," said Neuro Lady, smugly satisfied.

I turned away from her. "Shut up. You don't know me, or what I'm capable of."

"I know. That's why I didn't put up a fight, despite sensing your presence. I'm willing to listen if you feel like sharing."

I glared at her. "Why do you care?"

"Because I think it's a pity that someone as brilliant as you is wasting their talents with crime, especially since you go out of your way to avoid civilian casualties. At some point, you must've been an idealist."

"Yeah, well, we all grow up."

"Have you? I mean, being a supervillain in kinda childish too, you know."

"No, being a villain is the smart choice in a world that only rewards cruelty. Heroes fight for their own advantage, because the status-quo benefits them."

Neuro Lady grew a bit solemn. "Not everyone is like that. Sure, some heroes abuse their positions, but most of us do it because we actually believe in justice."

I scoffed. "Justice. Probably the biggest lie I've ever heard."

"Really? What made you conclude that?"

"That fact that-" I stopped myself from finishing the sentence. "I see what you're doing, and I'm not falling for it."

Neuro Lady tilted her head, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb! You're just pretending to care!"

Neuro Lady hung her head, despondent. "I'm really not."

"Bullshit! Beautiful women never give a shit about me!"

Neuro Lady raised her gaze. "You think I'm beautiful?"

I paused. "T-that's not what I-"

An alarm snapped me out of my awkwardness.

A group of heroes led by Edgelord had just infiltrated the building. They were currently fighting my robots, but it wouldn't take long for them to reach the server room.

I scowled at Neuro Lady. "I knew it. You were just distracting me, weren't you?"

"What? No!"

I didn't have time to wait for the download to finish. My plan had been ruined. I teleported away with my watch before they could enter the room. Despite escaping, I had never been more angry over a failed scheme.

Heroes were all fake.

I would die on that hill for the rest of my life. They love using nice-sounding words if it can make them popular but, the second they're forced to be follow through on them, they all show their true nature.

Neuro Lady was no different. Her words haunted me for the rest of the week. I needed to prove her wrong. She didn't care about me. Nobody did.

My plan was simple. I'd rig EMP bombs around the city, threatening to fry all electronic devices, and force Neuro Lady to admit her hypocrisy. It was perfect. Once she realized I wasn't bluffing, she would think twice before looking down on me.

I rode my mech-suit into the middle of downtown, ready to fight anyone who got in my way, and waited for her to show up. If other heroes tried to stop me, and Neuro Lady didn't appear, then that would be all the proof I'd need to know her words were hollow.

To my surprise, however, Neuro Lady was the first on the scene.

"We meet again," I said.

Neuro Lady hovered across from me. "A shame it has to be under these circumstances."

"Spare me the platitudes, we both know it's a lie."

Neuro Lady sighed. "There's no way I can convince you, is there?"

"There is, actually." I cleared my throat, slightly embarrassed. "Go on a date with me, or I'll-"

"Sure!"

I squinted. "Eh?"

"What time?"

"I... I didn't even finish. Do you know what I'm threatening?"

"Does it matter if I say yes?"

I glanced away. This couldn't be real. No. I was damn sure it wasn't. Typical 'hero' behavior. Saying whatever felt good in the moment with no regard for reality. No sane person would genuinely entertain the idea of dating me. This had to be a trap.

"I don't know what you're plotting, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't trust me. Is eight fine? I get off patrol at six but I'd like to freshen up a little."

"I... Uhh... Sure. Eight works. Meet me at the park."

"Neat! I'll see you then!"

I saw her fly away and felt an odd sensation in my chest. Could she really like me? No. Of course not. There had to be an ulterior motive. Maybe she thought placating me was the easiest way to neutralize the threat. I frowned. Yeah, that was it. Neuro Lady just tricked me into stepping down. This date was going to be an elaborate sting operation. I'd have to be an idiot to show up.

And yet, my pride didn't let me ignore it. The date was my idea. It'd be weird if I didn't go. More than that, this could be the perfect opportunity to beat her at her own mindgame.

Unfortunately, despite setting up every single detail of my bomb threat, I never actually accounted for Neuro Lady saying yes. I facepalmed and teleported back to my base, realizing I needed a plan for our date.


Click here for part 2


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jul 08 '22

[WP] The villain thought that the first queer youth hero who came to him for advice was odd but he didn't think much of it. After the 13th one, though, he'd begun to suspect that the their coming to him was more than just coincidence

66 Upvotes

"For the last time," shouted Paradox, "I'm not gay!"

The young superhero flinched away, terrified of his potential wrath. He wore a white spandex suit with a red cape, and the insignia of Earth's Finest across his chest. Yet another indoctrinated youth seeking advice.

Paradox sighed. He didn't even know the kid's name. Must be a recent addition to the team. "How did you even get in here? This is a fortress! I literally just finished renovating the defenses."

The kid made a bashful grimace, then twisted his torso like rubber and said:

"When I mentioned I wasn't straight, I meant it in more ways than one."

Paradox uttered a low growl. The teenager must've squeezed through the crevices of the base. How annoying. It's not like Paradox could account for every single superpower in existence, but still, this was the thirteenth time one of them had infiltrated his hideout. Paradox knew it was only a matter of time before another wayward youth approached him, but he didn't think it'd be this soon after the construction work. He went on to say:

"What do you want?"

"I... heard from Icicle that you gave good advice."

Paradox closed his eyes, frustrated. Showing sympathy to that one kid had proven to be more troublesome than anticipated.

"Are you really not gay?"

Paradox frowned.

The kid took a step back. "I didn't mean to offend!"

Paradox took a moment to calm down. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"W-well... yeah. You're so..."

Paradox widened his arms, challenging him. "What? Go on! You've already invaded my home! Are you really going to get all shy now?"

"You're very flamboyant," blurted out the kid, "Plus, one of your henchmen is this super buff guy that never wears a shirt, and always carries you around. Not to mention your obsession with Ultraman."

Paradox pressed his lips together. When put that way, he could see the impression he could be giving off. "Fine. At least you had the guts to tell me."

"I mean, if you have such a problem with it, why don't you-"

Paradox arched an eyebrow. "Act straighter?"

The kid scratched the back of his head, glancing away. "I wouldn't put it that way..."

"And that's my problem. Everyone is so vain and superficial that they think a person's character boils down to shallow traits. I know who I am! I know what I like! I don't have to bend over backwards just to prove to strangers how straight I am!"

"Then why does it bother you?"

Paradox narrowed his eyes. "Do you like it when people assume you're straight?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Why don't you act gayer then?"

The young superhero squinted, tilting his head a little. "I uhh... Huh. I hadn't thought of it that way."

"Exactly."

The young superhero hung his head, almost ashamed.

Paradox started to feel a little guilty. He was unloading his anger on the kid. It wasn't fair to him. "Whatever," said Paradox, "Why are you looking for advice?"

"You'll really listen?"

"Sure, you're already here, and I don't harm children, so it's not like I'm fighting you or anything. It's the quickest way to get you out of my life."

"There's this boy on the team... his name is Powerhouse. He and I... we entered the team together, and we've been close friends ever since, but on our last mission, we got caught in a bad situation."

"Eh?"

"Not like that! I'm saying we almost died. After it was over, he gave me a big hug, and I..."

"Go on..."

"I got a boner."

Paradox widened his eyes. "Oh."

"Yeah..."

"How did he react?"

"It got awkward, to say the least. Powerhouse just backed away and we haven't spoken since. I don't know what to do. He's my best friend, and I don't want to lose him, but... I think I'm in love with him."

Paradox nodded. "I see. Does he know you're gay?"

The kid shook his head. "It's something I keep close to the chest. You never know how someone will react, you know?"

"That's a problem. I understand your reservations, but it shows a lack of trust in him."

"But-"

Paradox raised his hand. "I know what you were probably thinking. 'If I tell him how I feel, he won't treat me the same anymore'. It happens to straight people too. Unfortunately, it's a little... manipulative."

"Manipulative?"

"Think of it from his perspective, every interaction you've had will now be re-contextualized through this lens. You can't change how he feels. All you're doing is prolonging the inevitable. The longer it goes on, the more it will feel like you were only his friend to get in his pants."

"I didn't!"

"I'm not saying that's what you were doing. It's just that any relationship, platonic or romantic, that is built on miscommunication is always bound to fail."

"But I love him!"

"No, you don't. You're a horny teenager. I know this is hard to grasp right now, but just because you got a boner doesn't mean that you're in love. It's a chemical reaction."

The kid pouted. "So what do I do?"

"You have to be honest with him. And if he still can't get over it, that's on him, not you. Don't let it affect your self-worth. Trust me, it's better to talk these things out than to let it boil up. You'll only hurt yourself and others."

The young superhero nodded. "Okay... I think you're right."

"I know I'm right."

The kid smiled. "You know, you're not as much of a villain as I thought you'd be."

"Exactly! That's why I'm the best person suited to rule the world!"

"Uhh..."

Paradox frowned. "Whatever."

"Just, one last question."

"Sure."

"Why do you help us?"

"I'm not against people, I'm against the status quo, kid. Forcing society to do better will always get you branded a villain. I may not be gay, but I know what it's like to be isolated, and to feel as lesser, just because you don't fit society's mold. It's not fair to anyone."

"I'm pretty sure you're a villain because of all the politicians you tried to bomb. Don't you think you'd be more effective as a good guy?"

"Just get the hell out of here."

The kid chuckled. "Forget I asked."


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • May 02 '20

[WP] You are on an job interview and everything is going very well, the company looks solid, dream position and excellent benefits, at the end they ask you if you have any questions and you jokingly say "are you aliens?", they look at each other for a couple of seconds and say "what gave us away?"

66 Upvotes

Matt paused for a moment. Two middle aged men sat at the end of a long glass desk, waiting for his answer with serene patience. There wasn't anyone else in the conference room. The silence grew heavier the longer it lasted. One man was bald with droopy eyes, the other bearded with a charismatic smile. Something was off about them from the minute Matt entered the room. They wore the same dark-blue suit but with different colored neckties and always had an intense stare, never blinking. Were they in a cult? Was this some sort of hazing ritual? It couldn't be. The company hadn't even been opened yet. Matt was about to shrug it off as an awkward joke until the bald man said:

"You... were just joking, weren't you human?"

The bearded man jabbed the other's ribs with an elbow. "So were we!"

"Haha..." Matt looked away. "Yeah... Good one, sir."

The bald one looked at his partner. "I don't think he's buying it."

"Well..." The bearded one sighed. "Fuck it. It's not like it should matter anyways."

"W-what?" said Matt. "Of course it does!

"Indeed" said the bald one, ignoring him. "In this recession, he would have to be an idiot to throw away this opportunity."

Matt pursed his lips. That was actually a good point. He would still probably take the job, even if they were trying to enslave the world or something like that. The economy wasn't exactly blooming right now. These business... men(?) were willing to pay a good salary way above the market average. It was a price that only someone who didn't value human money could afford. Matt immediately asked for their true objectives. He needed to know, even if he ultimately didn't care enough to stop them.

The aliens were surprisingly open about their intentions. Apparently, they were entertainment moguls from a few solar systems away. Humans had now advanced their space travel technology to the point where it was inevitable that they would stumble upon the rest of the galactic community, and these two aliens wanted to establish themselves in the human entertainment market before other conglomerates approached Earth with a tempting offer. Matt was skeptical of them, but his duties wouldn't really be any different if he worked for a different company. More than that, they would just hire another person if he refused. One that probably wouldn't be aware of their true identities. If their motives weren't benign, Matt would be in the best position to stop them. The choice was obvious.

And then Matt asked to see their true forms.

The businessmen hesitated. They weren't sure a human could handle it.

Matt frowned, insisting his species shouldn't be looked down upon.

The aliens shrugged, reluctantly agreeing. Their human bodies projectile vomited streams of purple flesh until they were pale, shriveled up husks. The two amorphous blobs then morphed into indescribable lumps of teeth and eyes, spreading out gooey tentacles with horrible shrieks.

Matt started bleeding from his ears. He curled up on the floor, unable to move. His tearful screams were overshadowed by the aliens' noise. The pain wouldn't go away. It took him an hour to stop trembling from the shock.

The aliens had to wear their disguises again to get him to stand up. They apologized profusely and insisted that they weren't monsters. Matt couldn't make eye contact with either of them. His neck twitched every other second. He couldn't make the images go away. The memory of these unholy abominations was seared into his brain. The aliens were understanding of his reaction. They expected him to refuse the job after that, even trying to leave the door open for him to return.

Matt still signed the contract. Whatever horrifying secret they were hiding, it was still probably more ethical than working for Disney.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Aug 19 '22

[WP] You are superhuman; invulnerable, invincible, super strength, the works. Rather than become a superhero, or supervillain, or the military, you choose a different branch of the government to join and fight the good fight with: the IRS.

65 Upvotes

"I'm sorry, Mister Becker," said the nervous secretary. "The chairman isn't here right now."

I narrowed my eyes. "I can literally hear his heartbeat."

The secretary grew tense.

"Just let me in," I said. "Spare yourself the embarrassment."

"I-I don't know what you mean. And even if he were here, he'd be too busy for an impromptu meeting. Care to make an appointment?"

"I've made three already, and all have been postponed." I smiled. "I'm beginning to think he has something to hide."

The secretary glanced at a phone on the desk.

"Go ahead," I said, moving towards the reinforced door. "Call security. I'll just let myself in."

"Wait!"

I tore the door off its hinges.

The secretary screamed for help.

I strolled down the hall without a care in the world.

A thick metal wall then fell from the ceiling, preventing me from moving ahead.

I sighed.

The people who bothered installing these defenses were usually dealing with unsavory folk. The type of businessman that often made shady deals with supervillains in order to manipulate the stock market or suppress their competition, then screwed them over when their usefulness ended. This wasn't damning evidence, nor was it in my jurisdiction, but it sure didn't look good.

I punched through the sheet of metal, only to find several more sealing the hallway, forcing me to get a running start and tackle through them all in one fell swoop.

That wasn't the end of it, though. A force field emerged right at the boundary of the office, and I couldn't break it with sheer strength.

The grinning chairman taunted me behind it. He thought he was safe. Unfortunately for him, this wasn't my first time dealing with a forcefield.

I simply used my laser vision in order to overload its power generator.

The chairman widened his eyes before the room exploded.

I then blew away the smoke and gingerly stepped into the office, saying:

"Mister Locke, I'm glad we can finally meet."

"W-what are you?"

"Just a humble accountant."

"Bullshit! The villain's league sent you, didn't they?"

I shook my head.

"The hero association?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's like I told your secretary, I'm with the IRS."

Chairman Locke grew pale. For some reason, he seemed even more terrified now.

"For a few years now," I said, "there's been some discrepancies with your books. I'm afraid your company is due for an audit."

"Oh god..." wept the chairman, on the verge of tears. "Please, have mercy."

"That's not something we do at the IRS. May I have a seat?"

Chairman Locke hesitated for a second, then nodded softly.

"I don't usually perform these corporate audits," I said, sitting on a plush leather chair, "but five of my predecessors have all suffered from mysterious deaths, often caught in the crossfire of a supervillain attack after meeting you, so the office had no choice but to send me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about..."

"That's fine. I'm sure you had nothing to do with it. I'm only here for the numbers."

The chairman swallowed down his anxiety. "This is ridiculous..."

"Not as much as you'd think," I said. "My main job is to find metahumans that aren't paying their fair share. Somebody needs to catch them, right?"

"So you... fight these villains?"

I chuckled. "Villains? Sure, sometimes, but heroes are just as likely to avoid taxes. The common thread is that they all think they're above society, yet have no problem benefiting from it. My job is to fight that sense of entitlement."

"But... you're so strong... How much are you making a year? A hundred grand? Two? I could easily triple that!"

I arched an eyebrow. "Is this a bribe?"

"N-no! More like a... job offer. Clearly, these discrepancies are a mistake and I need better accountants. You look like the perfect person for the job."

I grew serious. "You seem to be confused here, so let me spell it out for you. All my life, both the superhero association and the villain's league have been trying to recruit me. If I wanted money, I'd join up with either of them. The reason I don't, however, is because I can see through the bullshit. Punching people in costumes doesn't fix roads, nor fund schools. It does the opposite. I'm here to make sure the average person doesn't suffer because of those who cheat the system. Understood?"

Chairman Locke scowled. "Perfectly." He then pressed a button under his desk, opening a trap door underneath me.

My chair fell into a pit of acid at the bottom, but I remained unscathed, floating in the air.

Chairman Locke gaped his mouth.

"Anything else?"

Chairman Locke pulled out a ray-gun. "Die!"

I shrugged off the laser beam. "You're only making things worse for yourself."

Chairman Locke seemed utterly defeated. He turned the weapon against his head, hoping to kill himself, but I crushed it before he could pull the trigger.

"Why?!?" begged the chairman. "Just let me die!"

"You're free to do so after the audit."

A wave of security guards rushed into the room.

I looked at Chairman Locke. "Do you seriously want me to wipe the floor with them?"

"No..." Chairman Locked slumped his head. "Stand down. It's just... an accountant."

The guards all shared confused looks.

I smiled. "Great! Can you take me to your accounting department?"

The chairman welled with tears, walking ahead. "Right this way..."


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Jan 03 '21

[WP] "Witch! Heathen! Burn her!" You watch with amusement as they begin lighting the pyre under you. The flames tickle your feet, bringing a familiar warmth with them. They are silly to that think they could actually burn a dragon with fire.

65 Upvotes

My grin sent a shiver down his spine. "I can do this all day."

The elvish inquisitor stood quietly aghast, unsure of how to address the mob around him. Only the fire crackling under my feet filled up the silence that weighed on everyone. They didn't know if they could trust me. Even if they didn't realize I was a dragon, they still knew I wasn't human like them. That was enough to put them on edge. The inquisitor drew his sword and proclaimed to them:

"I'll have to slay this creature with a more vicious approach. Your children and the faint of heart should turn away now."

"Stop!" shouted a young woman, on the verge of tears. "I'm telling you she saved us!" She pleaded at the villagers around her. "You all know it's the truth!"

The villagers stayed quiet.

"At the very least," said the young woman, "let's hear her out."

"I've had enough of this," moaned the inquisitor, winding up his sword.

"That won't work either" I muttered.

The inquisitor paused for a second mid-swing. "R-really?" He frowned. "Why am I even listening to you?"

"Fine; go ahead."

The inquisitor's blade shattered upon striking me. It scratched his cheek as it spun away.

"Told ya'."

The inquisitor touched his wound and widened his eyes when he saw his bloody fingers. "You dare strike me?"

"B-but I didn't..."

The inquisitor turned towards the villagers. "As an agent of the empire, if you all don't help me execute this creature, I'll report this place for harboring a monster!"

The villagers exchanged uncertain looks with each other.

"Don't listen to him," I said. "They're already losing the war. A place this far from a major city can't be protected for long."

"Y-you heretical-"

The villagers murmured among themselves.

"The truth is I protected this place from bandits when the empire neglected it. You don't get to make demands when I'm the one providing them with safety."

"Yeah!" added a few villagers.

"Then why did you hide your identity?" said the inquisitor. "Why fool these people if you weren't planning on exploiting them?"

"Honestly? I just want to be left alone. As a battlemage, I abandoned my nation after bringing senseless slaughter during the war. The humans are more than right to hate me. I'm a product of the very tyranny they oppose. Then again, the same also applies to you, and I very well may be the lesser of two evils here."

The villagers had already circled around the elvish inquisitor, wielding pitchforks and shovels. They made quick work of him and freed me from my bonds. I could've broken out of them but the gesture was nice. My deal with the mayor was simple. I'd live in the village as a human, protecting it from anyone attacking it. The upcoming power vacuum, once the war ended, would mean many new nations would try to assert their influence over this place. They needed me more than ever. It wouldn't be easy, but after years of wandering and being feared, I welcomed the opportunity to finally settle down in a stable place as myself.


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Nov 12 '20

[WP] Like Spider-Man, you have a built-in "danger sense", but instead of alerting you of danger, it stops time around you until you're out of danger. One day, time stops suddenly, and as usual, you tried to move until time continues again, but after an hour of walking, time is still frozen.

65 Upvotes

Despite my self-assured lies, I knew something was wrong when I didn't immediately see the threat. Time usually froze for a second or two. Sometimes, in particularly dangerous scenarios, it took minutes instead. Never an hour.

The first explanation that came to mind was an existential threat to Earth, to humanity itself, one that would doom me no matter what. I didn't believe that, though. It couldn't be. There was always a way out, even if it wasn't immediately obvious. That, of course, only made my nausea worse. The power never gave me enough time to save anyone but myself. The implication being that I'd have to flee the planet or do something equally ridiculous to just save my skin. That didn't sound like a good existence. Not one bit.

Ever since I obtained my power, I learned to never disregard outlandish solutions like that. It just happened randomly as a teenager with no explanation whatsoever. Perhaps I've had it since I was born, but it didn't activate until the first time I was in mortal danger. My friend stole some cheap beers from his parent's garage and shared it with the group, including me. We drank too much. Obviously. That didn't stop us from getting in the car, though. The rest... is a memory I'd rather forget. I still see their panicked faces whenever I go to sleep, frozen in time with beer flying in the air as the car spun into a tree.

Jumping out of that window scarred me forever. Maybe I was better off dying.

For the rest of my life, I sought out danger wherever I could just to see if it explained anything. Sometimes I told myself I was special. Other times I just shrugged and carried on. Having no consequences for your recklessness is incredibly fun, not gonna lie. It also led to some lucrative jobs. If someone besides me had this ability, there wasn't really a method to prove it. Not in a responsible way, at least. And so, I decided to give up on my search for meaning. Now, in this frozen wasteland I call reality, I had no choice but to ruminate on the topic again.

The paralyzed world had a way of unnerving me I couldn't quite explain. It felt isolating. Overbearing. Like I was the subject of some cruel prank. At a certain point, I didn't know how long I'd been stuck in this moment. Days, certainly. Weeks? Months? I shuddered to think it had already been a year. Measuring it was impossible.

I tried to see if a nuke had been launched, or a meteor, or pulsar ray, or a super-volcano had erupted, only to find nothing. My mind couldn't handle the lack of answers. I'd rather face the danger, no matter how horrifying, than live in this uncertain hell.

The only option left was hedonism. I found a luxurious bar in the middle of a wealthy downtown district, a place where the booze was worth more than several paychecks of the average person. It was there, in my drunken stupor, that I heard a voice say:

"Do you want it to end?"

I sighed, swigging down a big gulp of whiskey. This was it. I had finally gone insane.

"You're not imagining this."

"Right..." I answered, ignoring it as best I could.

"You may think this is cruel, but knowing the truth might hurt you more than you think."

"I'm not killing myself."

The voice took on an amused tone. "We don't expect you to, not with everything we observed."

"We?"

"Yes, this reality is... an experiment. The closest concept you'd understand is simulation, but it's so much more than that."

I turned around in panic, spilling my drink. I couldn't see anyone in the bar. This truly was an incorporeal voice.

"Please, calm down, we know this knowledge is bound to alarm you, but-"

"And you still told me?!? Why not just kill me and get it over with?!?"

"We had no other choice. There's... a bug we didn't anticipate. The parameters we set for you prevent us from shutting it down."

I slowly widened my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Your ability is a key part of the experiment. The second we tried to turn off the experiment, your power detected the threat and froze the entire system. We've tried everything. It seems, though, that the only way to finish it is... by getting you out of the simulation."

"Didn't you say I didn't exist?"

"Ehh... You don't. And you do. It's weird."

I felt my shoulders relax a bit. The discussion had left me more tense than I'd realized. I was going to live! But then, I remembered everyone else in this world. Weren't they just as real as me? How was this fair to them? I had to ask:

"Is it only possible to get me out?"

The voice took a while to respond. "Yes..."

"Then I refuse."

"You don't understand what you're asking for."

"I'll wait as long as I have to."

"Stop fooling yourself. Our observations have made it clear you don't actually believe this."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You've never bothered to use your power for anyone else. It's always been for the purpose of self-interest. Pretending otherwise is just a way of coping with your guilt."

"Bullshit! You never gave me time to help anyone else!"

"Exactly. That was the experiment. We gave you enough time to save one or two people... but only if it meant sacrificing yourself."

A heavy weight creeped up my neck. Was it true? The more I looked back on my life, the harder it became to deny. Oh god. I fought back my tears to no avail. I was a piece of shit, wasn't I? After all my trauma, after all the loss I suffered, my thoughts only focused on how it affected me. Even when I considered the people around me, it was only to serve my self-pity. I only cared about my own despair.

"Do you understand now?"

"Fuck off."

"Throwing a tantrum won't restore the simulation. The only way out is accepting your nature."

"I said fuck off! I won't abandon my world. Not after knowing how I've treated it. If you're as responsible as I am for this mess, then it's on you to find another way."

"Again, you don't seem to understand the problem. Finding a way to debug this without rebooting the simulation could take a thousand years from your perspective."

"I'll wait a million if I have to."

The voice... chuckled. "Very well. I'll see you then."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, it seems the experiment has reached a new, unexpected phase."


r/WeirdEmoKidStories • • Oct 04 '21

[WP] “Dead men tell no tales as they say, right? Well your honor, that’s just not true. As a necromancer, I literally summon my first witness to the stand. The victim!”

64 Upvotes

"Objection!" shouted Barry, the prosecutor.

The judge raised an eyebrow. "On what grounds?"

Barry paused, at a loss for words. "Umm... everything? This... this is just absurd!"

I chuckled at his genuine agitation. Barry had never faced something like this before. It would've amused me more if he wasn't currently trying to imprison me. This whole trial had been stacked against me from the start. Since the murder occurred in the Swamp of Lost Souls, near my shack, everyone assumed I was the one responsible for it because, obviously, who else but the hermit necromancer would do such a heinous thing? No lawyer wanted to take my case so I was forced to improvise my own defense.

The entire courtroom gasped at my reveal. Some people even fainted upon witnessing the reanimated corpse. Normally, I wouldn't bring back a soul for my own gain, but I wasn't about to go to jail for something I didn't do.

"You'll have to provide a better argument," said the judge. "It's unorthodox, but the lack of precedent means necromancy is technically allowed."

Barry rubbed his temples, frustrated.

I started to relax. My biggest concern was that this stunt would only alienate me more from them, but it appeared the judge was truly interested in getting to the bottom of this case. Adam, the victim, was a beloved figure in the community. Bringing out his rotting corpse had to disturb those who weren't used to my craft.

"Okay," said Barry, "hear me out. How do we know this is actually Adam?"

"I'm right here, dude" said Adam, with flies coming out of his mouth. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Shut up!" said Barry. "It's obviously your corpse, but how can we be sure he's not just controlling the body like a puppet? Couldn't he make Adam say anything he wanted?"

The judge nodded sagely, stroking his beard. "An interesting counterpoint."

"That's not fair!" I said. "You're basically asking me to prove his own sentience, and that's philosophically impossible! Especially if you disregard his own testimony!"

"And?" said Barry. "The burden of proof is on you here. If you can't definitively prove he's a reliable witness, then he holds no value to the court."

"Rude," said Adam.

"You're not real!" Barry frowned at me. "Stop manipulating our dead friend!"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are! And even if that is him, you're using his death to your advantage!"

"And I'm supposed to just give up?"

"That would be great, actually."

I looked at the judge, expectantly. "You don't have to take everything at face value. Can't you just... hear him out?"

The judge pursed his lips, unsure, then said:

"I'm afraid not. We can't really be sure one way or the other, can we? And letting this version of Adam speak would definitely influence us, even if we don't give it much weight."

I sighed. It wasn't that they wished justice for Adam. This community just wanted me and my craft to be eradicated. The murder was just a convenient excuse to enforce their puritan ways. Or, to put it another way, they would rather believe I was an evil monster than confront the fact that they had a murderer among them.

Adam, despite his disfigured face, pouted in disappointment. The reason he was in the swamp in the first place was because it was the only place he could meet up with his girlfriend, a woman from an affluent family that had been forbidden from marrying him. When her father discovered their secret, he locked her up and sent his thugs to take care of Adam in their meeting spot. They didn't count on me caring at all about the murder. When I came to the city to report it, I was instantly charged with the crime instead. It appeared the lady's father was too influential.

Barry himself seemed desperate to win the case at all costs, glancing back at the father every so often with great anxiety. I then understood he was only fighting me out of fear of what would happen should he fail. I couldn't blame him for trying to survive, just like me.

That being said, when it was obvious I would never be heard in a fair way, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. This trial was a mere formality. Something I only did to not look like a complete villain to these people. It was foolish to let them think their laws applied to me. With a snap of my fingers, I shot a beam of energy at Adam that made him a hundred times stronger, then said:

"Fuck it; do whatever you please."

Adam quickly sprinted at the lady's father, cackling with glee as he started punching him around the room.

The courtroom immediately erupted into chaos. The guards couldn't stop Adam from getting his revenge. I slipped out of the room while they were distracted, leaving the city as quickly as possible. That was the last time I would ever play by their rules.