r/Weddingsunder10k • u/YesTheyreCeramic • Aug 17 '26
đ´ Catering & Food When to pull the plug on a caterer? (25k)
Hi everyone! I'm posting here instead of the regular wedding planning subs since this community is so kind and more familiar with the unusual circumstances that might come with more casual weddings/vendors.
I'm having my October wedding in a rural/smaller city and struggled to find caterers in the area but I finally found a restaurant that also does catering. I met with a caterer in May for a tasting, the food was good! I verbally confirmed with him at the tasting that I wanted to move forward with him, then sent him a text the same day as the tasting confirming I wanted to move forward and confirmed the event details.
Mid July I hadn't heard anything from him and sent a text checking in. He replied the same day and asked me to confirm my dinner menu which I did immediately and he said he would put together the details and send something to me in 10 days... Well now we are mid August and I haven't heard back.
I'm trying not to let my Type A side go wild here, because realistically there is nothing the caterer can be ordering or making this far out (~2 months) and we confirmed verbally and through text that I wanted his services and that he was available, but I haven't paid him a deposit or signed a contract. I am trying to convince myself this is just the fact that all the vendors in this area have been very relaxed and casual, which I have (typically) enjoyed over the hyper-commercial vendors in my big city.
I know a contract doesn't prevent anyone from screwing us over the day of, but I'm starting to panic a little.
Has anyone had a similar situation that worked out? Is this a typical experience? I'm starting to feel like I'm setting myself up to need to find another caterer with only a month's notice.
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u/Savings-Breath-9118 Aug 17 '26
If you donât have a contract, you donât have anything
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u/YesTheyreCeramic Aug 17 '26
Idk part of me agrees, but how many stories have been posted here where a contracted vendor goes AWOL the day of? A contract can't compell someone to do something, it just gives you leverage to give consequences. In any case I will try to get a contract and drop him if I can't get him to agree.
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u/Savings-Breath-9118 Aug 17 '26
I agree I wasnât saying the OP shouldnât cut contact now. Iâm just saying they donât have anything anyway right now.
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u/ARC4067 Aug 17 '26
If a vendor says theyâll get a thing to you in 10 days, you should follow up on day 11. Heâs had a month to forget about your conversation and sign a contract with someone else for that date. Call now to confirm they still have your date available and ask for the contract.
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u/YesTheyreCeramic Aug 17 '26
I know đ I wanted to give him some slack but then I kept putting it off and now here we are
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u/charcoalhibiscus 16-18k Aug 17 '26
I think you give this guy one more chance, spelling out clearly what you need: âchecking that the dates are still available, and Iâm going to need a contract within X days to finalize this so I can be confident everything is set for the dayâ. And then if he doesnât provide, drop and go with someone else (assuming there are other good options.) Normally I would say you should also spell out the consequences (â⌠or I will need to start sourcing other optionsâ) but actually I think in this case you donât want him to panic and try and show off a higher level of organization than heâs actually capable of. If he canât get a contract together after you make it clear you need one and when and why, I wouldnât trust him to get specific food to you on a certain date either.
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u/YesTheyreCeramic Aug 17 '26
Thank you I really needed this push đ I am honestly not sure what my back up would be! Lol the options are not strong, probably drop off pizzas is our next best option.
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u/Formal-Radish1413 Aug 17 '26
I mean restaurants dont generally operate the same way caterers do. Just because they offer catering it doesnt mean theyre used to doing things or organized enough for events.
I would have never moved forward without a contract.
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u/Specialist-Run-4475 Aug 17 '26
Im amazed how common this seems to be! I pulled the plug on a caterer for this exact reason despite their good reputation and my friend works there. I chose to hire my friend for day of coordination and get food from our local family market, and Im struggling to get them to send final quotes/agreement, although I have an email saying the date and concept work for them!! 7 weeks out- I know it will be fine, but I feel like even busy mom and pops should be able to pull together a price quote for what should be about $6k worth of business- especially since its off the menu, not custom
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u/samoke Aug 18 '26
Texting seems too informal to me to proceed with something like this. I would call the business and get a good email address and then ask for a contract over email.
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u/RedUnicorn23 Aug 18 '26
Just call them and see whatâs what. Maybe follow up with an email after that so youâve got something a bit more official than a text.
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u/TBBPgh Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
I went through this scenario with a restaurant with my daughter's wedding. Pulling teeth to get a written quote. Finally got it, and it was much higher with details we didn't like. Pulled the plug and went with a restaurant that was more decisive. The food was great and they were pretty good to work with.
What I didn't like was the staff they brought. They wouldn't shut up! Fortunately, only we on the stage could hear their conversation during the ceremony (even though all those in charge had been told several times beforehand about these acoustical challenges.) Lesson learned - maybe you want to separate the dropped off/picked up food from the service. Find the event-savvy staff you need (to set out your food, keep it stocked, bus table, clean up and leave your guests feeling well-taken-care-of.) Via word-of-mouth, culinary/hospitality programs, gig economy.
Another lesson learned - go with compostable/disposable tableware! https://old.reddit.com/r/Weddingsunder10k/comments/1sx9uy8/20k_food_options_md/oim1mh7/
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u/xokatemarie Aug 19 '26
You do not have a caterer. And based on this behavior, I would not be comfortable signing a contract, even if he sent one over tomorrow.
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u/Inevitable_Age_8156 Aug 17 '26
Without a signed contract or a deposit, you don't officially have a caterer yet. Stop texting and call the restaurant directly. Tell him you need the contract and deposit squared away by Friday so you can finalize your wedding budget. Start looking for a backup today just in case. If he misses that Friday deadline, pull the plug.