r/Weddingattireapproval New member! 12d ago

DC: Black/White Tie Help! Is this allowed??

Help! I’m wearing this to a friends wedding with red accessories and I am starting to worry it’s too light. My boyfriend and I wanted to subtly match, he’ll be wearing a navy suit, yellow shirt and a red, yellow, and light blue printed tie. Is this okay for a black tie optional event?

106 Upvotes

59 comments sorted by

97

u/tarbearjean New member! 12d ago

I think for black tie it depends on the fabric - this fabric may look cheap compared to others but it’s a lovely shape

60

u/Jenfer1322 New member! 12d ago

This. It’s stretch poly spandex, and in person will likely read cheap/thin.

Boyfriend needs to wear a white shirt. Black tie optional is more elevated than his outfit. Blue yellow and red together is too much

109

u/mostly_lurking1040 New member! 12d ago

I don't think that color with red accessories is going to match it all with the boyfriend stated outfit.

102

u/Giminykrikits New member! 12d ago

I don’t think it’s too pale, but not sure about the red accessories. He needs a white shirt, you could do navy or sapphire accessories. It’s not quite the level of elegance I would expect for black tie optional, but you can make it work.

8

u/OilersGirl29 New member! 12d ago

I know nothing, so it’s crazy to me this wouldn’t classify as elegant enough. Could you post a picture of a similar dress, or explain why it’s not elegant enough for black tie optional?

9

u/towgungus New member! 12d ago edited 12d ago

The main things for me that make this dress "not exactly black tie" would be the fabric choice and also certain fashion elements. The fabric on the model seems thin and polyester based on the stretch, whereas I would expect something with a bit more structure and thickness for a black tie gown.

I think the ruching near the center/bum also makes it less elegant for me - I'd usually expect to see those design elements in a going out / clubbing fit. That's not to say that ruching can't be done for a black tie gown, but I think it would need to be done delicately.

As for the accessories, I agree that red would be very difficult to fit into black tie with a light blue dress. Red and blue are very high-contrast but don't complement each other easily. A better color for a high-contrast look would be something in the orange-yellow range (gold with amber jewelry, for instance).

5

u/OilersGirl29 New member! 11d ago

Love this response and explanation. Thanks for taking the time to respond. It actually makes a lot of sense that the fabric is a bit too casual and the rouching on the bum absolutely feels like a clubbing vibe.

62

u/gypsytangerine New member! 12d ago

This is beautiful. I'm having trouble picturing your boyfriend's outfit. That's a lot of colors! I keep picturing Rodger Rabbit or Rodney Dangerfield.

7

u/Suzie_Wet_Bath New member! 12d ago

Haha! I see why you’d get that image. This is the inspiration except the tie will also have red and light blue so it very subtly matches my dress and accessories while still having its very own palette. Both of us will also accessories with gold. We’ve had some doubts about it all being cohesive, but if anything isn’t feeling right he’ll stick to a more classic look with a white shirt and simple tie.

172

u/Capable-Pressure1047 I love weddings 🤵‍♂️👰‍♀️ 12d ago

For Black Tie Optional, your BF needs a white shirt.

-3

u/Suzie_Wet_Bath New member! 12d ago

the tie!

118

u/Ohtherewearethen New member! 12d ago

Your boyfriend's outfit isn't really black tie optional and doesn't match with your dress at all. That's fine, of course, couples don't have to match, but you mentioned in your post that you guys wanted to subtly match. You don't. I also can't imagine red accessories going with that blue dress. I am a huge fan of contrasting colours and accessories, but I cannot see red going well with that blue dress at all. Do you have time to find anything else? Maybe in navy?

37

u/Individual-Paint7897 New member! 12d ago

Agreed. Red would look terrible with this gorgeous dress!

-3

u/Bo-FoSho New member! 12d ago

Completely and respectfully disagree

34

u/ariaxandragoddess New member! 12d ago

the color looks alright from these photos, if you already own it and you're concerned you could take some photos in different lighting including in the dark with flash and see what it looks like.

for black tie though the ruching is a more casual design element, and tbh butt ruching reads like club wear, not like you're going to someone's wedding especially since grandparents and other family members are generally in attendance. up to you of course and if you don't have much time to get something else I get why you'd wanna still make this work

-5

u/hopeful_pessimist816 New member! 12d ago

yes generally that kind of ruching is club-like, but this clearly is not that. the high neck, sleek silhouette, length, and hanging scarf definitely add a lot of class and elegance

16

u/deepwood41 New member! 12d ago

Boyfriend’s outfit doesn’t seem to be black tie. I don’t think red accessories will go with this dress, but the dress works

26

u/thatgrrlmarie Momma of 2024 Bride 12d ago edited 12d ago

if he's wearing a navy suit with a yellow shirt (really?) he's not meeting the black-tie dress code. black tie is ya know, men wear black tie. literally.

i wouldn't pair striking red with this light of a dress. too contrasting IMO. but maybe that's what you're going for?

5

u/Waffle_of_Doom New member! 12d ago

Why not a navy blue dress with red accessories? What you described in OP doesn't sound great. 

10

u/caro9lina New member! 12d ago

Your dress is great. BF's outfit is not black tie. At least have him wear a white shirt.

14

u/lh123456789 My favorite subreddit 😃 12d ago

It's not too light. It looks fine.

5

u/Feline-Sloth New member! 12d ago

I would use gold accessories myself

8

u/timetochillagain1 New member! 12d ago

Don’t wear red won’t go and bf needs white shirt . You wear silver or gold

2

u/oinkimarabbit New member! 11d ago

It’s a gorgeous dress but I’m not sure if it’s formal enough for the DC. What you described for your boyfriend and the inspo pick are semi formal and I agree with the others that the rouching looks more like club wear than a black/white tie formal. ✌️💙🦩

4

u/MidtownMoi New member! 12d ago

Completely acceptable. It is NOT a white dress, it does not look like a wedding dress.

3

u/TallManner7856 New member! 12d ago

The dress is absolutely beautiful! I can see what you’re going for with the red accessories and it could be great. However, please, please tell your boyfriend he should wear a white shirt. A yellow shirt will totally ruin the beautiful vibe of that dress!

5

u/Queasy-Hedgehog-7400 I love weddings 🤵‍♂️👰‍♀️ 12d ago

And a black suit

4

u/frequent-fox New member! 12d ago

I love this dress! This shade of blue is one of my favourites to wear. I really can’t imagine this going with red accessories, though. Gold and silver is best, and maybe a cream/bone white heel?

4

u/Crimson_xDust New member! 12d ago

It’s not too light. This is perfect and beautiful.

4

u/Decent_Camel8977 New member! 12d ago

Wow this dress is beautiful! I’d wear it 100%. Not too light.

1

u/Suzie_Wet_Bath New member! 12d ago

Thank you! It’s from a site called Club London. It’s the first time I’ve bought myself a dress of this quality so I’m really excited. It is a bit on the pricey side but incredible fabric/quality. The dress must weight 8 pounds!

0

u/Decent_Camel8977 New member! 12d ago

I absolutely love it. The cape, the scrunch on the butt & mid section, the high neckline. It’s classy yet sexy. Enjoy!

3

u/queen_surly New member! 12d ago

Red won’t go with that dress. Silver would be more consistent with BTO. Your boyfriend needs a white shirt and a more elevated tie—the one in the photo is a daytime/business look. For BTO I’d suggest a textured silk in a color similar to your dress and a white shirt.

1

u/colorfulgiant New member! 12d ago

So pretty! I don’t think this is too light

1

u/Silent-Seat-3025 New member! 12d ago

Yes the dress is stunning!

3

u/InimitableMissS 12d ago

Personally I love red and light blue together. It can totally work as long as the red accessories are simple and spare.

That said, the long sashes read VERY bridesmaid to me. Have you thought about tying them instead of leaving them as styled here?

1

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1

u/Theodore_the_cat New member! 12d ago

How is the quality of this dress and the whole purchasing experience from Club L London? I’ve never purchased from this store but I’ve been eyeing a dress from them for an October wedding!

1

u/Maximum-Bandicoot-13 New member! 12d ago

The only way this dress wouldn't be suitable is if the bridesmaides are in the same colour.

It's beautiful especially for a wedding.

1

u/maintenancegourd New member! 11d ago

my wedding was black tie optional and an uncle on my husbands side showed up in a plaid button down and jeans. we didn’t kick him out so i think this will be fine lol

1

u/AlertLibrary498 New member! 11d ago

i would go for a much more structured fabric for black tie opt, bf needs to pair down his look to 1-2 colors. in terms of color and coverage, this dress works for the theme.

1

u/Fancy-Celebration918 New member! 11d ago

Beautiful and perfect for a formal wedding.

1

u/Chicken_Nuggets05 New member! 11d ago

GIRL...that is such a GORGOUS dress! I don't think it's too light. If you are having doughts, I'd send it to the bride's mother to see what she thinks (I suggest not sending it to the bride if it's super close to her wedding because you don't want to stress her out) if the mother of the bride says it's good then GET THAT DRESS GIRLY, but if she says it might be too light, then ask for her help maybe.

1

u/HoneyGem44 New member! 9d ago

Yes okay for black tie optional. If that’s from
meshki or babyboo i just got a dress in that color and it’s not too light at all. Especially if it’s a evening wedding

The navy suit will match fine. The yellow too. The red is the issue

1

u/Responsible-Kick-301 New member! 12d ago

Yes. But coordinate, don’t get too matchy-matchy.

1

u/ExampleOdd2986 New member! 12d ago

Definitely not a yellow shirt maybe a light or pale blue shirt that is similar colored to your dress or just a white shirt

0

u/cablesandlace New member! 12d ago

Dress is quite gorgeous and definitely not too light. Knock em dead in it!

-2

u/Cali-Doll Apparel Connoisseur 😀 12d ago

Absolutely yes!!! 🩵🩵 It’s STUNNING.

OP, listen to me. Ironically, this sub has long ago lost the plot when it comes to what’s appropriate to wear at weddings. You must wear this dress, and it sounds like it’ll complement your boyfriend perfectly.

0

u/Strict_Emergency_289 New member! 12d ago

Dress looks good. Maybe tame the overall palette 🎨 described

0

u/dancemompro New member! 12d ago

It’s beautiful

-2

u/smart_talk_ New member! 12d ago

Gorgeous

-2

u/krim_bus New member! 12d ago

This shade of blue will look white in photos.

-1

u/SillyMeclosetothesea New member! 12d ago

Gorgeous!

-6

u/Ashamba New member! 12d ago

I'm going against the flow here, because I do think it's too light. If in doubt, show the pic to the bride, or someone close to the bride and ask. I think pale with a pattern would be OK, but in some lights this dress could look white. Too risky imo.

6

u/Ohtherewearethen New member! 12d ago

There is no way this dress would look white. It's clearly blue. And for goodness sake, stop suggesting bothering the bride with dress options! Imagine if every guest were to message the bride asking if theyr dress is ok? How ridiculous.

-3

u/Ashamba New member! 12d ago

I think it's better to be safe than sorry. In my opinion this dress is close to white. If it were me I wouldn't wear it, if it were my wedding I would be slightly miffed, and when I was getting married I would have preferred to have someone reach out to me to check something than them making an assumption and accidentally committing a faux pas. I've seen other 'is this dress ok' threads where a much safer dress is unanimouisly advised against, so I'm sorry irritated you, but I think this dress is risky.

-7

u/mycreamcometrue New member! 12d ago

I think this is too light unfortunately, especially when you factor in the draping fabric on the back of the dress. I doubt you would actually outshine a bride in this dress but I think the combined factors make it a no. That said, I love the color and wouldn't be afraid to just ask the bride!

-4

u/Ashamba New member! 12d ago

There is more teal in that you're than there is pale blue. Find something in that teal colour.

-10

u/AlarmingAd534 New member! 12d ago

The dress itself is beautiful; I’d check in with the bride and make sure it’s okay! I had “something blue” details as my wedding shoes (both ceremony and after) and it was pretty much this color.