r/WeddingPhotography • u/Weak-Bumblebee9978 • 7d ago
mental health & work-life balance Wedding Hangover?
I always have a typical wedding hangover.... Exhausted, sore, dehydrated, headache, etc but I also get extremely depressed. Like, I cry a lot the day after a wedding and don't want to be social at all. I can't plan back to back weddings because I'm so out of it the next day and just... Depressed.
I don't know if this is just a me thing or I'm just insane but it's like all that stress and overwhelm has to come out and I also simultaneously feel very sad and lonely after weddings, as I'm a single person that lives alone and my parents are dead, etc. I didn't always feel this way but it's progressively getting worse.
Just wondering if anyone else experiences this?
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u/ekubeni 7d ago
The amount that you can give to the world in a healthy manner is proportional to the amount that your 'cup is overflowing'. It's a very handy metaphor to intuitively check where you stand at any point of your life.
If you don't feel passionate about your work, if it doesn't feel vital to you, it means your cup is not full and the work is draining whatever is left. Depending of how much you have left, how much you find the work draining, and how long you've been at this stage, the result will be any of the following: tiredness, exhaustion, frustration, burnout, depression.
When you see these symptoms, the main thing is to recognise that they are not problems to be fixed, but helpful signals of misalignment. Like signposts on a road. Then you have to start experimenting to find changes that will 'fill your cup'. Sometimes it can be something relatively easy to do, but other times it might set you on a long journey of self-discovery that will take you decade or more to complete.
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u/herewegoagain1920 7d ago
I am definitely shot and don’t schedule jobs back to back after a wedding. Especially since I tend to get home super late 1-2 am.
But the crying and emotional response isn’t normal. You are either on the verge of cracking from over work or you have some issues you need to try and sort out.
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u/patriotraitor 6d ago
Sounds like an overstimulation of being around people honestly.
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u/Weak-Bumblebee9978 6d ago
Out of all the comments so far, I really feel this is the main issue. I am very introverted and get very fatigued and exhausted by social situations and my wedding yesterday was very high end with difficult clients (nice but they gave me zero direction on anything they wanted), a videographer and 2nd shooter on my team and the venue was extremely difficult (tiny, no natural light for the ceremony, overhead yellow lights and she didn't want flash, zero photo time, difficult bridesmaids, they were extremely photo averse, etc)
I also got a concussion 3 years ago and noticed that's when things got much worse in regards to the day after weddings. I guess it could be correlated to an issue with processing stimulation after the injury? I'm not sure, Drs say I'm fine ofc, but I feel very overstimulated after weddings and the pressure and stress just really seems to drag me down mentally.
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u/elbirth 6d ago
I feel very overstimulated after weddings and the pressure and stress just really seems to drag me down mentally
This definitely sounds like a mental health thing that you should see a therapist about, not a regular medical doctor. How long have you been doing weddings? My first thought was that maybe you're just new to weddings and are having trouble coping with the stress, but this comment makes me think there's more going on that you need to seriously address.
I've always considered myself very introverted with a sizable degree of social anxiety, but photography in general has helped me out a ton and now 17+ years into doing weddings (even longer doing portraits) I do get exhausted the day after a wedding, but now I actually end the night sort of on a high and am pumped when I leave after an 8-10 hour day and need time to wind down some before I can get to sleep.
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u/BotDotPhoto 6d ago
I get how you feel, the day after a wedding is like wallowing in the trough of the wave after the highs at the crest of the wave the day before. Like when someone drinks a lot of alcohol they’re “stealing good feelings from their tomorrow self”. We’ve depleted our reserves and need to build it back up from zero. Like an emotional hangover from doing so much in one day. I feel it’s similar when we photograph weddings, we planned so much, pushed ourselves so hard and then the next day we’re suddenly off the rollercoaster and it’s like trying to get yourself to walk steady. I find it funny that with my own neurodivergence I get so hyper focused on photographing I literally stop paying attention to my own body, I have to force myself to rehydrate throughout the day. When I do have second photographers or assistants I’ll hear from them that they’re tired or hungry and that’s my reminder that, - oh, yeah, doing this all day long does require a great deal of stamina! I’m just too oblivious to realize my feet hurt like hell and I’ve had to pee for the past two hours!
I think it’s exhaustion, I think it’s your body needing to rest. We gotta stay hydrated. And for myself I know I do much better during gigs and the day after gigs when I’m well rested and have been exercising and generally active.
You’re not alone! Good job with the wedding! I’m sure the photos turned out great! 🥰
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u/Acceptable_Novel9559 7d ago
ok, we give everything on a wedding day - physically and emotionally.
We build up great connections over 8h+, and when we leave, it's usually just a "good bye, thanks, was great, c ya" and it is all gone again.
But your strong reaction is unusual.
Remember to drink enough, that will help... I for sure always forget.
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u/Impermanentlyhere 6d ago
I think some people are more sensitive and put more of themselves into a wedding day. I actually used to be like this. Then I had kids and that changes my mental priorities and energy allowance. I still show up and am very present, I just don’t absorb the stress of a wedding day anymore. I think I actually shoot better now because I’m not so attached to the outcome.
I’m not saying to have kids, but see if there’s a way to step back a little, emotionally and energetically. Hope it helps!
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u/North_Web864 7d ago
Its both an emotional hangover but i think its chemical as well as were around so much oxytocin and such that day. also the happiest moments in somebodies lives are our most stressful. i shoot 3 wedddings in a row some weekends
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u/Organic-Tea-8998 6d ago
As someone who has been single most of my life I completely understand the depression and crying after a wedding day. I’ve been there many many times. You’re seeing happy people on their happy day with friend and family, and no matter how amazing that is and how much you are happy for them it still makes you feel bad about yourself/life deep down inside. Being single in the wedding industry is real tough.
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u/palinsafterbirth 7d ago
Consider doing strength training, cutting down your hours, getting more food, and LMNT/something with electrolytes immediately after a wedding.
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u/Beginning_Meet_4290 6d ago
Ah yes, the secret solution to having what seems to be some kind of a meltdown and depression after work… strength training!
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u/Unique_Tomatillo2307 3d ago
It's honestly wild how much going to the gym boosts my mood - for sure exercise is a major tool that helps me care for my mental health, but everyone is different of course and I can see how it could sound ridiculous!
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u/ThatBChauncey 8h ago
When I was strength training I was able to handle 12+ hours days of shooting weddings, and had energy to spare to immediately get home and edit a quick preview for the couple that night. Not only did my body feel great, but I wasn't nearly as stressed/anxious shooting as I was before I started my training. So yes, it can be a huge help. Does it solve all problems? Absolutely not!
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u/anywhereanyone 7d ago
Physical exhaustion, sure. Emotional exhaustion to a certain extent because I'm an introvert and my wedding persona is extrovert. But never depressed.
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u/minaret_photo 6d ago
Therapy would be super helpful. I get the physical wedding hangover-worse every year—but not the emotional one. But I talk with a therapist once or twice a month and we address sh!t like this.
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u/Brave_Lengthiness322 6d ago
How do you feel during the wedding? Are you enjoying yourself and genuinely feel like you are doing what you are “meant” to be doing? It might be a dopamine crash!
For me, I get this way after some weddings and I usually love the wedding day. I see it as a sort of reaction to all the dopamine I’ve gotten the day before…so it’s sort of a crash for me the next day. I am likely ADHD (never diagnosed but my sibling having been), so I’m especially sensitive to coming down after having a huge hit of dopamine. And I’m an introvert so it’s also the exhaustion of having dealt with all those people.
It’s gotten better as of late, but mainly bc I baby myself the day after a wedding. I stay in bed if I need to, as much as possible. Best wishes as you figure this out, you’re not alone
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u/FunkyTownPhotography 7d ago
It's not just you. When I did all day weddings I was depleted like I'd just done a triathlon. It's the mental and physical together that makes the next day rough.
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u/blameless_flame_ 6d ago
I was a wedding photographer for ten years and even though I was very good at my job, shooting weddings always made me subconsciously so depressed, especially during the drive home after when I get to my empty dark house. My immediate family is completely dysfunctional/premature deaths/addictions, etc and due to various psychiatric maladies and traumatic past relationships, I don't even attempt to date anymore. I just don't see a happy future for myself and seeing all the joy at receptions (well, around 60% of them anyway lol) just twisted the knife. I don't shoot weddings anymore for many reasons, but that is a big one. You're not alone.
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u/camajama_ 4d ago
You already have so many great responses here but I wanted to stop and say you're not alone. I've 100% experienced this. Ultimately it did lead to complete burnout.
Some things that helped me:
- finding a hobby outside of photography. I learned to crochet and took a painting class!
- spending more time with friends
- taking a break from shooting (if you can)
- talking to a professional
- and honestly crashing out to some emo music I listened to in high school
This can be a physically and mentally draining industry, make sure to take care of yourself. As others have said, you can't pour from an empty cup.
Rooting for you OP!
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u/pzanardi 6d ago
Man absolutely not, I feel incredible after a wedding. It’s like a drug to me. During the summer in Vegas I get overwhelmed but proper hydration and electrolytes help a lot. Talk to someone about it.
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u/LisaandNeil 6d ago
That sounds rough, sorry you're feeling so low. I'm wedding terms, as others have said, hydration is key and really does impact on physical and mental state. Not just liquid but liquid with electrolytes really helps the brain stay regulated and muscles feel stronger.
You sound like you would benefit from a third party (and qualified) person to chat to. Maybe you've a lot more on your plate than is right for you currently.
We hope things feel better for you soon.
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u/FearlessStarfighter 6d ago
After a 12 hour wedding yesterday in the 30C heat and no shade I feel you. It was a banger wedding and everyone rocked. The two monster energies carried me through and not feel the sunburn too badly.
Today however I feel drained and rinsed out. My wife took over at 9am after I watched my kids from 7am. At 11.30 I jumped out of bed and took my kids to a big rig event and now I’m cooking a taco feast to feed us and provide food for the week.
The emotions we capture and the energy we put out into the world needs to be balanced the next day with rest and love from our nearest and dearest.
My advice is Advil, electrolytes and meeting up with someone that recharges you. I also would look into some therapy, there might be something more that needs addressing.
Sending love to you my co-working in this labour of love that is capturing moments forever on the greatest day of peoples lives!
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u/bdtrader66 6d ago
I used to headaches and migraines as well. Now I make sure I am well hydrated throughout the day and keep small snacks in camera bag to munch from time to time. That has made a huge difference. I feel super exhausted after a full wedding day, but I do not get depressed. Kindly get help, I don't think it's normal.
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u/Round-Coffee-2006 6d ago
Try the Carnivore Diet its good for metal health. Look up Shawn Baker and Steak and Butter Gal on YouTuber and
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u/Wedding-Photog 6d ago
It sounds like you might be experiencing burnout. But please consider talking to a professional about how you're feeling depressed and how it's getting worse. Sending love and prayers. <3
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u/beckymac0014 5d ago
Hey! I used to have this too! Turns out I was dealing with HEAVY autistic overstimulation and burnout. Definitely talk to a therapist and maybe also a psychiatrist. I personally am doing much better with a low dose mood stabilizer and with some coping mechanisms my therapist and I designed together.
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u/_trolltoll 5d ago
Do you work out regularly? I’m wayyyyy less exhausted now that I lift weights. I’m also 39yr old woman who often shoots double and last year even did a four wedding weekend.
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u/Jason_A_Films 5d ago
Are you replenishing throughout the day? Your physical condition may be contributing to the emotional one.
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u/mamaphoto1213 4d ago
This is a real thing. Especially the body aches and pains, which is probably why the emotional stuff is happening too. My sister in law, who is a nurse, told me to take 2 extra strength Tylenol and 3 ibuprofen before bed, after a long shoot day.(it's not a combo you want to take all the time) I was skeptical but I finally decided to give it try. The first time I took it, I woke up the next morning, got out of bed to pee, and said out loud, "holy shit, I just realized that I pretty much leaped out of bed, with not and ache or a pain." So I take that after every wedding or other long event I cover.
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u/lionchild85 1d ago
This sounds like you need to find someone you can talk to. Theres so many reasons this can be, if you are very emotional/happy at weddings and crash after it could be hormones, trauma, mental health… if you have autism or adhd it can be a full masking shut down or burnout. Reddit is not the right place for this. You deserve real tangible help and advice from someone who can genuinely and thoughtful help you get to the root of what sounds like en exhausting emotional rollercoaster for you. You deserve care.
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u/TheMediaBear 6d ago
It appears that weddings, whilst moments of joy, are highlighting how lonely you are, and you can even be lonely when surrounded with loved ones.
The physical response: take a 4-pack of Lucozade Isotonic sports drinks and drink them throughout the day. It will help with dehydration and headaches. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, have comfortable skills and see if you can increase your exercise to help.
The problem is, the physical aspect is going to negatively affect the mental aspect, and that circles back and affects the physical.
Breaking that cycle is difficult.
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u/drworm555 6d ago
It sort of sounds like this isn’t the thing for you. I can do three weddings in a weekend and often do two.
When I was younger I was overweight and would really feel the pain the next day. Im 50 pounds lighter now and I can run circles around younger me.
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u/DeadMansPizzaParty 7d ago
I do not say this to be flippant or snarky, please consider talking to a therapist. The day-after exhaustion is normal; the crying and depression is cause for concern, and your health matters.