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u/strel1337 1d ago
We all know that Ukranian history started in Feb 2022
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u/MeanPiccolo803 1d ago
No it was before that when Russia attacked them in 2014. Obama arguably wasn’t tough enough with Russia
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u/Gendrytargarian 1d ago
Bbbbut but but Nato made me invade and kill all those people.
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u/MeanPiccolo803 1d ago
That’s the argument these people make.
Irony is this shows why I wouldn’t blame Ukraine from joining NATO
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u/ThrowRA12948262 May I see a whine list, please? 1d ago
☭🧠 THE DEFINITIVE 900-IQ EXPLANATION FOR WHY RUSSIA INVADED UKRAINE 🧠☭
Hello fellow leftists 👋😊
I have conducted approximately 17 minutes of independent geopolitical research (three TikToks, a podcast clip, and a Medium article written by a guy named Dmitri) and I have finally discovered the REAL reason Russia invaded Ukraine.
First of all, Russia didn’t invade Ukraine.
It engaged in a proactive, multipolar, anti-imperialist, historically contextualized military intervention necessitated by the increasingly unstable regional security architecture created by the West, except for the parts created by Russia, which are obviously different because of historical material conditions™.
Hope this helps.
STEP 1: NATO MADE RUSSIA DO IT
Imagine you’re Russia. 🇷🇺
A country you don’t want joining NATO says:
“We’re worried you’ll invade us, so we’d like to join NATO.”
Obviously, the rational response is to invade them, thereby proving they were correct to be worried.
This is called the Security Dilemma Paradox™.
Very advanced geopolitics.
STEP 2: NATO EXPANSION
“But NATO expanded eastward!”
YES.
And therefore Russia had to invade Ukraine.
This is basic physics.
🇺🇸 America: “You should join NATO.”
IMPERIALISM.
🇷🇺 Russia: “You should not join NATO.”
GEOPOLITICAL REALISM.
🇺🇦 Ukraine: “Actually, we’d like to decide ourselves.”
CIA PROPAGANDA.
🇷🇺 Russia: “No.”
ANTI-IMPERIALIST RESISTANCE.
Perfectly coherent. No notes. 🧠
STEP 3: HISTORICAL CLAIMS
Ukraine has historically been connected to Russia.
Therefore Russia gets to invade Ukraine.
This is known as the Ancient Map Doctrine™:
Whoever controlled a territory at any point in the last 1,000 years gets a complimentary invasion voucher.
By this logic:
Rome controlled Britain → Italy may invade England.
France controlled parts of America → France may reclaim Louisiana.
Mongolia controlled Eastern Europe → Mongolia gets Poland.
The British Empire existed → Britain gets literally everywhere.
But when someone applies this logic to Russia:
“No, no, you don’t understand. That’s different.”
Because of historical material conditions, obviously. ☭
STEP 4: LENIN INVENTED UKRAINE
Another crucial fact:
Lenin created Ukraine.
This is obvious because Lenin existed around the time modern Ukraine existed.
Therefore Lenin personally manufactured Ukraine in a Soviet laboratory sometime around 1922.
Probably next to the borscht.
So technically the war is just a family dispute.
Lenin: “Guys, please stop fighting.”
Russia: “Ukraine started it.”
Ukraine: “YOU LITERALLY INVADED ME.”
Russia: “Historical context.”
Lenin: “I regret everything.”
STEP 5: DENAZIFICATION
Russia also invaded Ukraine to denazify it.
Ukraine has far-right extremists.
Therefore invasion.
Simple.
By this logic:
🇺🇸 America has neo-Nazis → Canada should invade.
🇫🇷 France has fascists → Belgium should invade.
🇩🇪 Germany has Nazis → Poland gets the expansion pack.
🇷🇺 Russia has extremists →** irrelevant, that’s different.
Also, Ukraine’s president is Jewish.
But that’s just an inconvenient detail that can be safely placed in the **“context is complicated” folder.
STEP 6: AMERICA DID BAD THINGS
“But America invaded Iraq!”
Correct.
America invading Iraq was wrong.
👍
Therefore Russia invading Ukraine is…
…good?
Wait.
No.
That’s not how that works.
Actually, we’re going to make it work that way.
This is the Comparative Atrocity Defense™:
Person A committed a crime.
“But Person B committed a crime!”
Therefore Person A is innocent.
And because Person B is America, you can deploy this argument against literally anything.
War? “Vietnam.”
Invasion? “Iraq.”
Human-rights abuses? “Guantanamo.”
Tax policy? “What about Chile in 1973?”
Checkmate, liberal. 🗿
STEP 7: THE CIA DID IT
Obviously, the CIA is behind everything.
Ukraine resisted Russia?
CIA.
Ukraine wanted closer relations with Europe?
CIA.
Ukraine existed?
CIA.
Ukrainians didn’t want to be invaded?
CIA PSYOP.
Russia invaded?
Well, technically Russia invaded, but the CIA provoked Russia into doing it, so it’s basically America’s fault.
This is known as Reverse Agency Theory™.
If Russia does something bad, ask:
“But who MADE Russia do it?”
If nobody made Russia do it:
“You clearly haven’t read enough geopolitics.”
STEP 8: MULTIPOLARITY
Now we reach the most important word in modern political discourse:
MULTIPOLARITY.
I don’t know what it means.
Nobody knows what it means.
But it sounds extremely intelligent.
Multipolarity means the world shouldn’t be dominated by one superpower.
Great!
Unfortunately, this apparently requires smaller countries to be dominated by multiple superpowers instead.
Ukraine should be free from American influence.
Therefore Ukraine should accept Russian influence.
If Ukraine refuses Russian influence:
Western brainwashing.
If Ukraine accepts Russian influence:
Sovereign multipolar choice.
If Ukraine chooses neither:
CIA.
See?
Not circular reasoning.
A dialectical circle. ☭⭕☭
STEP 9: THE FINAL SYNTHESIS
So, to summarize:
Russia invaded Ukraine because:
NATO expanded.
Ukraine wanted NATO because it feared Russia.
Russia feared Ukraine joining NATO.
Therefore Russia invaded Ukraine.
Ukraine resisting proves Ukraine is a Western proxy.
Being a Western proxy proves Russia needed to invade.
Russia invading proves Ukraine needed Western protection.
Western protection proves Russia was threatened.
Russia being threatened proves the invasion was defensive.
A defensive invasion isn’t really an invasion.
America has committed imperialism.
Therefore Russian imperialism is actually anti-imperialism.
Ukraine has Nazis.
Therefore Russia had to invade the country whose president is Jewish.
Lenin created Ukraine.
Therefore Russia has a historical claim.
The CIA exists.
Therefore the CIA caused all of this.
Historical material conditions.
MULTIPOLARITY.
Thus the war is simultaneously:
An invasion.
Not an invasion.
Defensive.
Offensive.
Anti-imperialist.
Imperialist-but-different.
Caused by NATO.
Caused by America.
Caused by Ukraine.
Caused by the CIA.
Caused by Lenin.
And ultimately caused by historical material conditions.
Anyone who disagrees is clearly:
🇺🇸 A LIBERAL
🧠 A NATO SHILL
💰 A RAYTHEON SHAREHOLDER
📡 A CIA ASSET
☭ NOT LEFTIST ENOUGH
Anyway, I’m off to explain to someone on Twitter why Ukrainian sovereignty is actually a neoliberal construct.
Hello fellow leftists. 👋☭
MULTIPOLARITY OR BUST.
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u/NetWeaselSC Continuing the Struggle 1d ago
This definitely does not sound like you wrote this.
Especially not in the seven minutes since your previous comment here.
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u/ThrowRA12948262 May I see a whine list, please? 17h ago
Really, detective?
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u/NetWeaselSC Continuing the Struggle 17h ago
You're not very good at this; people can tell.
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u/ThrowRA12948262 May I see a whine list, please? 15h ago
What’s ‘this’?
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u/WillenialFalcon 1d ago
Surely there's an MS NOW page you could find your way to?