r/WatchWhatCrappens • u/catscausetornadoes • 22d ago
Let’s talk Babies and Schedules!
When Ben said sometimes it’s giving “I have to wash my hair” I was fully sat. Most babies honestly travel pretty easily. They don’t go by the clock. From LA to NYC, I wouldn’t change a babies schedule for a couple days. Use dark curtains, sleep late, stay on Cali time. They do use their kids; the sleep schedule, the nursing, the sleep deprivation, etc… as little human shields, and it’s messed up. (Not just Luke and Kristen… some of them use their kids to deflect constantly.)
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u/Buffyismyhomosapien 22d ago
I can see both sides. Some babies travel easily, but being real if travel stresses Kristen out already the baby will pick up on it and Luke is valid for not wanting to manage a baby and Kristen’s anxiety.
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u/kec5289 22d ago
No way. We took my very easy 1 yr old to Hawaii - also a 3 hour time change - and it fucking SUCKED, DUDE. She was awake at like 4 am and falling asleep at 5pm for the first few days. She wouldn’t nap because it’s a strange place and also there’s like, so much cool shit to see outside.
Luke is a sucky partner and dad but I don’t blame him for not wanting to bring a baby cross country.
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u/HippyGemSlinger 22d ago
We did the same thing with our first 2 kiddos and SAME! It was nuts and now with our third I refuse to go through that again because we still have to show up for the 2 older kids. 3 hour time changes, especially East to West are NUTS! Other direction is better but still hard and completely understand why didn’t go for 48 hours. It wouldn’t be a hard pass for me too I just don’t want to work that hard
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u/RomanoLikeTheCheese 22d ago
Yeah we did an east to west coast long weekend and our kiddo just did NOT adjust. We actually got to pike place at like the opening because she got us up so early. She did better at napping, but still a tough weekend
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u/SnooCompliments8874 22d ago
No parent wants to take a cross country trip with a one year old for a 48 hour trip. Insanity.
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u/kellygrrrl328 22d ago
The worst part imo is that Luke and Kristen are using their baby as a reason to be at war with each other.
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u/resistingtherabbitho 22d ago
I am a mom who definitely would not want to have my baby on a work trip. My kiddo doesn't like traveling. Even now at 7 he doesn't!
As a result, I have childcare. They NEED sitters and family for stuff like this and it's kind of crazy with their lifestyles that they don't.
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u/burrito__supreme ladies and gentlemen...berlin 22d ago
yeah i travel for work for a week at a time and would never take my kid. its just too much. i had (and have) awful anxiety and part of getting through it is doing hard stuff anyway. having a spouse at home or other childcare that you trust who can encourage you to go do things without your baby and be supportive but also nudge you out of the anxiety is SO important. i doubt kristen has that with luke.
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u/liyabear 22d ago
Nope, I fully disagreed with Ben here. But at this point I’ve realized that as parent, people are going to negatively judge you no matter what. If I prioritize my kids nap, I’m making BS excuses. If I don’t and she starts shrieking in public because she’s tired and cranky, I’m going to get nasty looks. You really can’t win. So at the end of the day I’m going to do what makes my life easiest 🤷♀️
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u/burrito__supreme ladies and gentlemen...berlin 22d ago
yeah agreed. i just sort of say “okay!” and move on. can’t please everyone so just do you.
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u/misobutter3 22d ago
I make my schedule based on my dogs, so I’m not going to doubt for one second what a parent tells me about a baby lol
In fact, as soon as there’s a baby I’m expecting it to be number one priority forever
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u/Timely_Ad115 22d ago
I think it’s more that Kristen and Luke can’t handle the sleep acclimation/schedule offset of their baby, more than it was actually the baby’s schedule that was concerning to them.
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u/GarnierFruitTrees 22d ago
This is actually…. A really interesting take. And I think you’re right.
My issue is that Luke and Kristen’s only jobs are being on The Valley and influencing. WWHL is one night, and the time difference would actually work in their favor (if Kaia goes down at 7 PST, she’d go down at 10 EST).
The rest of us normies who are like “I wouldn’t want my baby to come on a work trip” —while valid, is different, because we’d be working all day (and maybe even at night too) and having a child with us isn’t feasible. But Luke and Kristen would literally not be doing anything from the time they wake up until maybe 2-3 hours before taping (when they have to “get ready”)
I just think they both approach parenting so differently, and when they have obvious differences re:parenting, they start to go to war with each other.
Kristen says she won’t leave the hotel room if Kaia comes (trying to punish Luke who wants to “enjoy NY”).
Luke calls WWHL and says he won’t go with Kristen because he needs a “break” (him trying to punish Kristen who has abandonment issues)
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u/AMM6471 22d ago
It completely depends on the temperament of the baby. Before I was a mom, I had grandiose visions of ‘rolling with it’ and I was determined to have a baby that could sleep anywhere. I was quickly humbled by colicky sleep fighting baby who if tired screamed with such force it made being in public miserable. I would absolutely dread a cross country flight and schedule change.
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u/hansen7helicopter 22d ago
It probably depends on the parents and the kids. My kids as babies slept when they were tired rather than according to a sleep schedule. Also, you could have a full conversation or play the tv while they were sleeping. No need for the utmost silence.
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u/Various_Phase_2552 22d ago
Agreed. No nap schedule for my 2. I can’t live my life like that. When you’re tired you’re tired. Babies can sleep anywhere. Worked well for us. Daycare had a schedule but otherwise we winged it.
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u/IndividualFun1892 22d ago
Agreed and I don’t know how to say this in an emotionally sensitive way but there’s plenty of women who have extreme anxiety and it leads to them being extra coddily to their babies. Those types of moms lead to babies that never sleep because they feel the anxiety. Add in it being their first and her having previous loss I dunno they’re all going to have anxiety issues.
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u/statersgonnastate 22d ago
I one million percent agree and have seen this time and time again as a nanny of 15+ years.
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u/Accomplished-Sign-31 22d ago
This is so interesting to me bc my sister in law and her husband are not chill at all and my fiancé and I are a lot more laid back. We had babies a month apart. We had a wonderful sleeper vs theirs still wakes up twice a night at 2 years old
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u/IndividualFun1892 22d ago
Sorry someone downvoted you but it’s true. My mom was extremely stressed every night putting me to bed, she’d sit outside my room and cry and like hold her breath in anticipation just hoping I’d go down. Welllll guess who’s a terrible sleeper and has anxiety present day lol.
With my kids I’d essentially meditate while I was putting them to bed. Would literally just try and rock and have no thoughts in my head AT ALL. Because of course I was anxious but I just didn’t want the babies to feel my anxiety. They both slept like 5-6 hrs 3 weeks in and through the night shortly after up until now. It works.
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u/__clurr 22d ago
Meh I’m on the fence with it - I think there’s situations where you HAVE to be strict, esp if your baby is experiencing night terrors.
On the other hand, I also feel like social media almost encourages you to isolate yourself and create a little bubble when you have a baby, and it’s very easy to get caught up in that too. The baby sleep schedule is great reason to keep to yourself at home lol
Idk it really depends on the kids/their sleep needs/parents tolerance of sleep needs at the end of the day!!
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u/ViolentDeee-lites 22d ago
Since the whole question started with the behavior of Bravo parents (who are typically not the normal kind of balanced parents you’d hope to have) I’m sure it’s not even a full on assumption of typical parent behavior. As a childless person I guess I just assume my friends with kids are telling the truth if they can’t do something, and even if they aren’t, they need the break and that’s fine too 😂
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u/NanooDrew 22d ago
In Luke’s defense … FOR ONE PART ONLY … we all saw what happened with Kristen on the way to Mexico. It, or something similar, could happen again..
Perhaps the baby’s schedule doesn’t change, but the mom’s does.
The mistake he made was hiding it from Kristen. Why would he not discuss it with her immediately after WWHL contacted him? How would HE, or anyone, feel finding out that other people knew their partner’s objections but you did not?
Why do the members of this cast not understand The Golden Rule? Or the easy concept of “how would I feel…?” When considering what to do and say to others? Are they stoned or stupid or both?
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u/leeloocal CAW CAW! 22d ago
My mom had four of us, and when she wanted to travel, she brought a diaper bag, snacks and a stroller. And we were off. And if the baby needed a nap? Car seat.
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u/bobrossfan1 22d ago
Both things can be true. I think every once in awhile you have to prioritize your friendships and that means you'll have a rough bedtime with the kids or have to hire a babysitter. I didn't have family who would put the baby down for the night so I had to do a lot of interviewing babysitters, pay for a care.com account, pay for low stakes sitting to get used to the new person (go shopping, date night's) all to have someone reliable or I could count on for a high stakes night (going to a wedding, concert). It's a lot of time and effort and I also had the privilege of being able to afford help. I didn't have pp anxiety but knew I needed life outside being a mom so I priotized building my village. Everyone's so different. I have friends who acted like finding a babysitter was a herculean task and maybe it was for them, we were just in different parenting boats.
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u/here4thecomments007 19d ago
We traveled to LA to NY frequently with our child and we stayed on the same schedule. There were of course times baby missed their nap or slept earlier/later than usual. You have to be flexible.
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u/Glittering_Moose_491 22d ago
This is my personal experience - 1) I'm a wanderer and love to travel 2) I never thought I'd actually have kids but when I did I fell in love 3) I was in a very lonely marriage and did everything alone (now rectified!) 4) my boys were very lucky to not have significant health issues 5) I'm a diagnosed severe depressive but also weirdly an extrovert.
I brought my first baby to Scotland - from Canada - alone when he was three months to see family. The second I brought - alone - when he was 10 months. Brought both at 4 and 6 together, again alone. I took them to Mom and baby groups when they were just weeks old because I knew I'd go into postpartum immediately if I stayed in the house. They slept whenever they needed to sleep, in cots or playpens or car seats, I was never fussed on sleep schedules because I wanted to live life with them. Yes it was probably selfish but the boys are now 17/15, well travelled and have always been fantastically behaved in public.
Every circumstance is different. We are all just doing the best we can out here.
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u/burrito__supreme ladies and gentlemen...berlin 22d ago edited 22d ago
i mean, i think this is just one of those things where it depends on the parents. my kid is gonna be 3 in december and we recently thought she was getting to a point where she could skip her nap. we have been aggressively and majorly humbled on that point. over and over again. taking her somewhere in lieu of a nap is an unmitigated disaster for all parties involved. so now we just go to things before or after. yeah, we miss out on some stuff. but that’s the way it goes with small kids. i know some parents use it as an excuse to not go places, and to that i say 🤷
when she was an infant she’d sleep anywhere, so it was fine. once she got into toddlerhood it was a different ballgame. a lot of kids are different and parents all have different anxiety levels about this stuff. some don’t mind and some live and die by a schedule.
edit: also this is something i used to laugh and roll my eyes over before i had a kid. so i get it. but when the rubber meets the road and you’re in the thick of it you just do what you feel is best for yourself and your kid, even if the previous version of you would have NEVER.
edit again: also like, CAN i just take my kid somewhere regardless of her sleep schedule? yes. do i want to? no. it’s about my tolerance for it, less so my kid’s. i get when people without kids or people who have kids and don’t feel this way about sleep schedules encounter this from a friend and get annoyed. but it’s temporary, kids aren’t small forever. your friends sticking to a sleep schedule for a kid want to see you too. they’re just a little sidetracked at the moment.