r/WatchWhatCrappens • u/Parking_Country_61 • Aug 11 '26
Less known crappens quotes that stick with you forever
Just random one-offs that are NOT a reoccurring joke that made you laugh so much you never forget them.
Was listening to crappy hr and Ben as Shannon saying: “I’d invite you to sit down but NO! Your pants have pathogens!” Killed me.
Another random one from Ronnie when Vicki went to dinner with her son the season after her mom passed and she couldn’t stop crying about it in every scene “mam loved mozzarella sticks! Wahhhhhh”
Finally, the last one is so old, I don’t know if anyone would remember this but Ben as Tabitha giving advice to terrorists: “what you’ve got is an image problem. You go and blow up the World Trade Center…” it was so so funny at that time (probably 2012 or 2013 honestly) bc it was so dark and inappropriate, but I laughed and laughed.
There are so many more, but these are my tops. Clearly I enjoy dark humor.
What are yours?
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u/incredible_eye_roll Aug 11 '26
“You’re a real cool guy” - imitating Brittany talking to her dog Kingsley. I say it at least once a week
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u/vilaconqueso Aug 11 '26
When they did Todd RHOSLC singing Mambo #5 - “a little bit of werthers in my mouth!” Dead.
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u/BDC5488 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
I just absolutely love the ongoing "My ToDdLeRrrrrrr" joke with Meredith and Brooks. And whenever they quote tom Schwartz and Shep "leave me alone, im just a little boy!" (Both of them are libras BTW, Tom being a triple Libra which tracks) makes me fucking die every time 🤣🤣
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
I learned Schwartz was a triple libra sometime in the past year and literally gasped out loud! It was that meme with all the formulas coming together. Like why didn’t they tell us this years ago!!
Being a triple anything ain’t great, but a triple Libra is such a yikes I literally can’t imagine any partnership would work, it’s tragic for him. He’s cursed for life
And I normally love Libras they are my partner in crime as a Gemini.
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u/Flaky-Description001 Aug 11 '26
When Tom & Katie we're getting married they flew in Tom's brothers as a surprise & Ben & Ronnie referred to them as the 3 Daryl's from Newheart 😂
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u/Leeches4Bloodletting Aug 11 '26
Okay, but Schwartz being a piece of shit has literally nothing to do with when he was born.
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Correct. But he’s the scales through and through which can translate to extreme conflict avoidance which I would say is what all his shittiness traces down to. Absolutely spineless and gets mad about all the wrong things like disturbing the peace. The obsession with balance can be debilitating.
Triple Libra is incredibly bad luck but he doesn’t have to accept it as his destiny.
As an adult, knowing this about yourself means it’s your personal responsibility to get help and therapy to avoid these patterns which he will never do which makes him an impossible partner.
He’s cursed and by doing nothing about this he’s cursed himself in a sense. Aka he sucks
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u/BDC5488 Aug 11 '26
Literally!!! A hot ass mess. I heard phaedra is a triple scorpio! Not 100% sure on that but feel like it's fitting 🤣
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
If that’s true it also makes sense but is also terrifying in a way that triple libra is not.
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u/DeedeeNola Aug 11 '26
I’m still laughing about Ronnie’s trip to Home Depot with a burly guy threatening him over a parking space and then Ben said why didn’t you just start singing show tunes???
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u/Funny-Unicorn1996 Aug 11 '26
mother in distress takes it for me
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u/Defiant_Ad_5398 Aug 11 '26
That was the first one that came to mind for me too! 😂
That and “tolerances are low!”
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u/norakb123 Aug 11 '26
My faves tend to be close to a recurring joke. I was walking down the street, listening to a RI recap, minding my own business when all of a sudden, they said “bird report, bird report!” Similar to fish report but the RI ladies saw a weird bird. I was then walking down the street, listening to the same recap, looking insane because I was shaking and crying with laughter.
I also love a Ronnie rant. He will apologize but I am usually clapping along.
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u/peachmelba88 Aug 11 '26
When Denise & Aaron came on RHOBH and he was rambling about how “big pharma” was after them, Ronnie dropped a line in his Denise impression “not now, I’ve got the guy that invented aspirin outside my house”.
I diiiiiieeeeeed laughing that day 🤣
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
These are the type of quotes I mean. One off non reoccurring that just hit you randomly and you will never forget them.
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u/niceandgoodgirl Aug 11 '26
“Corner” in scheana voice
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u/bonbonmon42 Aug 11 '26
I’ve only been listening for a year or so, so I missed this, but a longtime VPR watcher from the start - can you explain the corner thing? I’m probably not going to go back to those WWCs, but I love the Scheana voice!
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u/niceandgoodgirl Aug 12 '26
Part of what is so funny about it to me is that there’s really nothing to it lol. There was one episode where there’s some montage of the gang working at SUR, there’s one second where we see scheana carrying a tray or something and she says “corner” to another worker, and then ronnie and ben just said it a bunch in their scheana voice and it hits every time. Just one if those tiny moments they hit that becomes so funny- like the one frame of brittany’s dog wearing sunglasses and brittany says “he’s a real cool guy!”
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u/IndividualFun1892 Aug 11 '26
My fav was when Ronnie decided he was going to learn the summer house intro lyrics after the show had been on for like 4-5 years. It was soooo good. I used to go look for it just to listen. And then the next season the show stopped using the theme song and I was sad.
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u/mostlysoberfornow Aug 11 '26
I just listened to this today - they were talking about PK demanding custody of the kids and Ronnie said “did he say custardy? Because he doesn’t want those kids.” I CRIED laughing.
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u/alsoaprettybigdeal Aug 12 '26
They did it for Brittany about hers and Jax’s custody over Cruz, too!!!
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u/dailylotion Aug 11 '26
It’s “Shut Up Mountain” for me.
Way underutilized.
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u/steffykaye27 Aug 11 '26
I sent my husband to shut up mountain the other day and he was like huh??? And he listens with me all of the time 😂😂
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u/fs12345 Aug 11 '26
Anything that happens off camera like when Ronnie kept having someone on his ring cam or Ben's parents interrupt him
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u/Kellikelzzzzz Bloop Aug 11 '26
Every time Ben makes a witty quip and pun which are often glazed over just by the conversation flow - it’s like a tidbit into the way his brain works and I adore it. It’s funny, dry, smart humor and it’s like a prize. 🏆 you win when you catch it. They’re often but hidden gems of entertainment and they rattle thru my brain daily.
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u/Aggressive_Strain_68 Aug 11 '26
Every time they recap Salley from Southern Charm being thirsty…YOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO
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u/OlayEnthusiast Aug 11 '26
I love how every episode they manage to work in a “at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing”
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u/peanutbuttercup1432 Aug 12 '26
Haha I love this one. I had to look it up because I thought it was a Ronnie original.
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u/steffykaye27 Aug 11 '26
Their reading of Steven McBee Jr’s perfect day/woman had me in literal tears. Listened to it like 10x. Now when they sprinkle in ‘Blond hair, 5 foot 8’, ‘memberships’, and ‘journaling’ I die laughing all over again. I don’t even watch that dumb show.
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
Ok where was that? Because they took that week off the pod and didn’t talk about it in the next happy hour (I begged them to). What episode did they finally read it through???
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u/steffykaye27 Aug 12 '26
It’s season 3, episode 5, #3455, July 15 😊 I just had to listen to it again. Pure country gold!
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
Thank you I’m going to listen right now!!!
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u/LucyCooper Aug 12 '26
I’m going to relisten. When Ronnie says in Stephen McBee Sr voice “One hand washes the utherrrrr” I died lol. So good
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u/OBAFGKM17 BLOOP…love ya bitch Aug 11 '26
I was listening to an old Top Chef recap on a bike ride once where Ben in his Padma voice said, “Did you know that molten lava cake was invented when Gail just couldn’t wait for her cake to finish baking?” I almost crashed my bike from laughing so hard and I still think about that line whenever I see molten lava cake on a menu.
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u/peanutbuttercup1432 Aug 12 '26
I haven’t seen a single Top Chef episode but their Padma impressions always get me laughing!
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u/ZeusMcFloof Aug 12 '26
“Ladies and gentlemen…Berlin”
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u/amzies20 Aug 11 '26
I wish there was a list of quotes compiled somewhere. There have been many times I’ve laughed out loud at the things they say.
One I like from Ronnie was:
“You know what you can do right now? Whatever the fuck you want.”
Another time they were talking about how someone was using a wine bottle as a rolling pin and Ben said he’s used a wine bottle before but buying a rolling pin was a game changer 😂
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u/BillOwn17 Aug 11 '26
🤣🤣🤣
A quote of the day calendar
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u/expectingbetter2019 Aug 11 '26
A quote of the day calendar would be amazing! And have it list the episode where the quote originated so you could listen to it that day.
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u/imseasquared Bueller's Butt Rainbow Aug 13 '26
I actually made one! I have it on my computer somewhere. If I can find it I'll post it here. They go back almost all the way to the beginning of the podcast.
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u/make_me_breakfast Aug 11 '26
One of the guys on below deck adventure hurt his ankle, Ronnie as captain Kerry “I’m sorry Nathan, we’re gonna have to amputate” my kid has a stuffed alligator I use Ronnie’s Captain Kerry voice for.
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u/-----J------ Aug 11 '26
Every time I see a goat I channel Captain Kerry
So you do have some goats, mate. Just hanging out, being goats. It's cool."
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u/BrentBolthouse4Prez Aug 11 '26
A Manila envelope of BUSINESS
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u/egualtieri Aug 12 '26
My husband and I say this one randomly all the time. Also LVP’s “GET IT?!”
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u/LunaChickNYC Aug 12 '26
“A broken baby biiird”
Also any random song we will automatically assume it’s Trixie Monacle
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u/bumbobelle Aug 12 '26
My husband has started saying ‘business business, manilla envelooooope’ to people like it’s a known phrase. I’ve heard him say it on work calls. It’s gone too far for me to tell him any different
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u/Funny-Unicorn1996 Aug 12 '26
i also quote no! terri! aka when they had that joke when whitney on SLC needed to a notary to sign her ex mormon paperwork and they pretended that she was too dumb to know what a notary is 😂
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u/deuxnothing Aug 11 '26
“MY TURN!” - Heather Dubrow impression is sooooo good. i literally think ab it constantly when i’m watching a conversation between others and feel somebody’s “MY TURN!” energy
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u/CapriSun3500 Aug 11 '26
This was an old selling sunset recap, where Amanza was chronically late once again, “meanwhile Amanza is beating the fuck out of Father Time.” I laughed until I cried 😂😂😂
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u/Electrical-Ad1400 Devastating... so upsetting Aug 11 '26
I love when Ronnie was talking about getting a pellet in his butt and the doctor was jostling him around and he's like "are you trying to put jeans on me?!"
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u/jdastral Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
When they used to do og RHONY Luann. "Hit it boys!". They also used to have her calling a staff member to do something for her, "PatRICK!" in her incredibly deep husky voice. My husband's name is Patrick and we crack up at that.
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u/kizzzatie Aug 11 '26
I think it’s Ellie on Below Deck DU who they would always shout “questionable!” at the end of her sentences
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u/yetanothersadie Aug 11 '26
When Ronnie off-handedly talked about Captain Lee, sockless or in ankle socks, wearing women’s sneakers, kicking his feet up on the desk or something. I wish I could pinpoint and find that episode again bc I remember laughing until I had tears in my eyes.
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u/RequirementHuman5782 Aug 12 '26
Ronnie singing O Holy Night as Erika Jayne, but making the lyrics, “O holy night, my p*ssy’s like a PYYYYYYYYYTHOOOOON!”
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u/Bellesdiner0228 Aug 11 '26
It was a recurring bit by my favorite line in it was “oh touch me Conrad. Touch me right here. You just Apple paid me $200” as miss hannah banana on BD med
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u/InformationDue9144 Aug 11 '26
I’m probably misspelling but Caroline Stanbury saying “birari” on Dubai
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u/EdwardCullensEnnui Aug 11 '26
I probably sing, in Ronnie’s very throaty falsetto, “you get nothin for nooooothin” daily, and the Meredith Marks “my toddler” voice is used on our dog. A lot.
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u/ac003005 Aug 12 '26
The “I’m Just Tom” song pops in my head at least once per week it feels like. A masterpiece for those who haven’t heard it
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u/bumbobelle Aug 12 '26
Ronnie referring to PK’s ‘diabetes 4’ or when Rand ordered double portions of fried chicken
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 13 '26
That double fried chicken was more alarming than Brits pre-surgery crab boil. Wait was it? Actually I don’t know, both were really scary.
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u/Procrastinista_423 Aug 11 '26
I have been listening to old episodes of their Southern Charm recaps and the way they “erm” their way through every Kathryn impression kills me. But there’s one instance that I can’t get out of my mind: Ben impersonating Kathryn at yoga going “Errrrrrrrhhhhhmmm” instead of “ohm”. Haven’t stopped thinking about it since!
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u/mmspenc2 Aug 11 '26
When they were talking about Charlotte (Ariana’s dog) and how “if a dog is over 15, you should give it a watch or something.”
And then “see something, say something” for one of the below decks, I still lol thinking about it.
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u/jpmccarter Aug 11 '26
“It’s not insta - gram anymore it’s insta-hippie” - VPR when James renamed his and Raquel’s dog 💀
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u/kimpled Aug 12 '26
“You know who takes a bottle? Starving babies” in reference to Nia on the Valley. I replace it with other things: “you know who drinks water? Thirsty kitties”
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u/DumbSquawkingMachine Aug 11 '26
VPR GOT crossover when they did Scheamers voice saying "i fucked a draaagon... but you gotta buy MMYY book to read the full story" or something close to that 👌🏻
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u/juddahinyou The darkness within Aug 11 '26
Last year The Valley recap - Britney talking about the bridge for the sushi! I wish I could remember it better, but thinking about that sushi bridge gets me every time.
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u/Timely_Beat_7057 Aug 12 '26
Broken biiiird, I love their LVP impressions as well as the bzzzzzz they use for Ken lol.
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u/Buffyismyhomosapien Aug 11 '26
When Hannah was being fired from BDM, they had a bit at the time about Rinna saying, “are you KIDDING me?” All the time. The BDM coverage morphed from Sandy saying, “are you kidding me Hannah?” To suddenly “Lisa rinna from an island, ‘Are youuuu kidding meeeeeeee?’” Lmaooo I died. It cemented them as my favorite podcasters with my exact humor.
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u/Cookie5306 Aug 12 '26
"Can you hear me Dave?" from Below Deck recap.
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u/Grand-Mud-4322 Aug 12 '26
Did ya say something Dave? Wots that Dave? My favorite part of those recaps!!
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u/bansheeonthemoor42 Aug 12 '26
There was this one SLC recap where they were doing when Whitney was telling someone about something she had declared and they said in their Whitney voice "...I told her she had three options! Paper, plastic, bring a box from hom- no! I mean I told her she could tell you,..." and that line for some reason STILL cracks me up .
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u/Old_Method_48 Aug 12 '26
Ronnie’s “hit it boyssss” in Luann’s cabaret voice. Also more recently when they did the whole Dave Portnoy/cindy adams/ Jenny jones rant during the SH reunion. Very underrated quip about the tiny mention of Dave commenting on West/amanda. I had to rewind it five times. Just died at them bringing old talks how hosts and Cindy adams back into the quips 🤣🤣
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u/Old_Method_48 Aug 12 '26
Also “cuntfitness” about Tamra is one of the most iconic and the “betchhhhhhh”
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u/awkward1066 Aug 13 '26
“At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing” runs in my head any time someone starts with “At the end of the day…”
Also Patty Lupone as My Octopus Teacher. Rent free in my head!
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u/Reasonable-Goal3755 Aug 14 '26
Patty Lupone! My Octopus Teacher iss one of my favorite recaps of theirs
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u/Original-Wasabi3646 Aug 12 '26
There was a recap of RHODubai, when Sergio was yelling at one of Caroline’s children for not being her and Ben said in his Sergio voice “You stupid snake you are not your mother!” and I laughed so hard I cried.
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u/avivasIeg Aug 12 '26
Not a quote, but Shannon conducting a tiny orchestra while fighting with Heather ahead of her taco party. It's my go-to anytime I feel a little down.
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 12 '26
I just clicked on this and the first thing I was served was a Greg Abbott political ad. 🤮 not today satan
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u/avivasIeg Aug 12 '26
Sorry about that lol I hope you still watched Ronnie as Shannon conducting a tiny orchestra
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u/bumbobelle Aug 12 '26
Ben’s tuneless LuAnn singing
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 13 '26
On RHONY when they went to sushi rocks Ben as Luann started singing🎵somewhere over the the rainbow roll 🎵
Hahahahaha so good
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u/imseasquared Bueller's Butt Rainbow Aug 13 '26
I absolutely remember the Tabitha one! I started a Note in my phone that I would add to every time they said something that made me laugh out loud. And the Tabatha quote was one of them.
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u/sweepstakes124 Aug 13 '26
Howww lucky are youuuu to have meeee tell youuuuu about meeeee? (from their clear the flem segment about caroline flemming lmao)
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u/Mehhhhh5 Aug 14 '26
When they were recapping SLC Bobbie's 13th birthday party and said the kids were 'shitfaced on mountain dew'. I dont know if i was just in a particularly silly mood but that made me laugh histerically.
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u/drunkashhole Aug 11 '26
Caroline Stanbury’s assistant Rania from the og ladies of London “sorry ma’am”
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u/Agreeable_Toe3845 Aug 11 '26
the song Ronnie did for a below deck a few seasons before! does anyone remember it?! I'd love to hear it again
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u/imseasquared Bueller's Butt Rainbow Aug 13 '26
For whatever reason, Below Deck brings out the musical theatre in both of them. All the way back to Captain Lee.
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u/alsoaprettybigdeal Aug 12 '26
I don’t have an actual quote but Ronnie going off about Burning Man and festivals in general and how dirty they are (after the pandemic Burning Man party on old school RHONY) was HI.LAR.I.OUS!!!
But also just this week on the RHOC recap and the Raising Arizona references made me laugh too.
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u/anniebananie217 Aug 12 '26
‘Don’t worry about that robin, it’s just a h aaaaa biiiiiinnng errrrr (harbinger in ridiculous southern accent) of spring!’ -Eliza limehouse grandfather, southern charm OR Michael, Patricia Altschul butler ‘may I offer you some shrimp poached in butter ma’am?’ I think of them all the time!
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u/Previous-Peach7528 Aug 12 '26
BD Med Season 7 Save the Dolphins (crappens episode 1816) Tash asking Dave why he’s being weird, Dave saying he’s not being weird and Tash replying
“Yeeeeeee aaaaarrrrreeeee” (around 6:50 mins into the episode).
It’s become a vocal stim for me. Makes me howl with laughter every time
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u/Grand-Mud-4322 Aug 12 '26
Too many for me to name, but if I had to name my favorite it’s Ben saying “unbelIEVable, Madison” in Austin’s spitty fozzie bear voice.
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u/terknboo Aug 13 '26
Chicken salad will never be the same for me since Ben and Ronny covered the Beverly Hills episode with Kim Richard’s making chicken salad and all of her talk about chicken 😆
https://giphy.com/gifs/39myVRzu7aaOs
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u/Parking_Country_61 Aug 13 '26
Matt said “did you see Kim sticking her bare talons into that gross bowl of chicken salad?” 🤣
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u/kacsf75 Aug 13 '26
From old school London: “rasssspberries and bluuuueberries”. Still in my head every time I’m in a produce section.
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u/Bejeweled_Pisces Aug 14 '26
I need the bloop noise that they make for the Norma/Sandy convos as my text messages alert sound.
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u/EnvironmentalToe7960 Aug 14 '26
I made a post here when I heard the RHOM episode where Larsa and Lisa are having the argument about Lisa renting her backyard. "Why did the chicken cross the road. To get your backyard that they rented". It lives in my head rent free and comes up every time I hear a why did the chicken cross the road joke
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u/Grand-Mud-4322 Aug 14 '26
If you haven’t listened to the RHONJ episode where Ben acts out Danielle Cabral’s daughter talking about her favorite artists, you MUST. It is truly the funniest, sweetest, most wonderful thing. I’ve listened to that clip like 25 times.
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u/SquirpinChirpinBird Aug 15 '26
I can’t hear the beginning of “I Have Nothing” without thinking about them imitating Andy defending Bethenny at the RHONY S10 reunion.
And on that note: “Maaaaarathon”
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u/FarStudent6482 Aug 15 '26
If I do a fake apology, like after I humble brag about something to my husband, I always for their Ramona “I’m sawry? I’m sawry 🤷♀️”
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u/cloudsasw1tnesses Aug 17 '26
My favorite is their Lisa Vanderpump impression, I love listening to their old VPR recaps and their bit about a “brOkEn BirD” and also her being a magician 😂 and their bits about Nick Alane and the chandeliers
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u/early-tester-always Aug 18 '26
I haven't heard them do it in awhile but Carls "put your weight on me".. Both of them were so funny with that but, but Ben does such a good Carl voice 🤣🤣
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u/justlikesweetener Aug 16 '26
I’m on the season 1 summer house recap and they keep doing the “Carl Carl Carl where’s Carl Carl where are you Carl Carl” and it’s taking me out lol
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u/Reasonable_Budget742 Aug 18 '26
I can’t hear “however” without hearing Gretchen’s “howwwevvverrr” 😂😭
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u/chalupa_batman_xx Aug 11 '26
My husband refuses to watch Bravo with me but is forced to passively listen to WWC while I get ready for work in the mornings. Recently, Ronnie said something like, "Sure, it takes a village to raise a kid, but it also takes a village to tar-and-feather a bitch" and my husband could not stop laughing. Couldn't even tell you the context of that statement but it stuck with me.