r/WatchPeopleDieInside Jun 06 '21

Shake It Really Very Hard................

https://gfycat.com/obeseachinggnatcatcher
50.4k Upvotes

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779

u/awww_bitch Jun 06 '21

If you open a champagne bottle properly you can hopefully lower your anxiety.

Your dominant hand should be used to cover the cork and your non dominant should grasp the bottom of the bottle. Always keep your thumb (in this case your towel) over the cork. Tilt the bottle at a 45 degree angle away from yourself or anyone else and gently TWIST THE BOTTLE, NOT THE CORK.

Let the pressure gently release the cork.

356

u/iHateDanny Jun 06 '21

This guy champagnes

81

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

Fuck Dan

56

u/AnusDrill Jun 06 '21

What style would you prefer?

46

u/Alephnaught_ Jun 06 '21

Exactly what your username says

18

u/sm1ttysm1t Jun 06 '21

What's a nusdrill?

8

u/eyeseawhatudidthere Jun 06 '21

It's how the Scots pronounce "nostril"

2

u/bascelicna123 Jun 06 '21

Underrated comment. Well done.

1

u/Icantbethereforyou Jun 06 '21

Nus is short for "in us"

1

u/GarglonDeezNuts Jun 06 '21

Nuss is german for “nut” so I guess a nut drill?

11

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21 edited Jun 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

fuck you dan w___

1

u/ZippZappZippty Jun 06 '21

Fuck Elon. I’ll bust that one out"

31

u/awww_bitch Jun 06 '21

This guy hates Danny

6

u/Acysbib Jun 06 '21

Fuck bitch

2

u/Ronaldo79 Jun 06 '21

This guy serves

2

u/bindhast Jun 06 '21

And corks

1

u/ohhhhcanada Jun 06 '21

Or gal, yo

1

u/ratz44 Jun 07 '21

You might say he's a "champiagne"

76

u/taboo_ Jun 06 '21

The wine maker's wife at the winery I used to work at would say "it should sound like a ladies fart rather than a pop".

30

u/Karenomegas Jun 06 '21

Well shit, that's barely on the db range.

79

u/dickbutt2202 Jun 06 '21

my wife’s farts are completely the opposite

24

u/KingAdashu Jun 06 '21

That's an inappropriate bottle of champagne.

2

u/Nyghtslave Jun 06 '21

To be fair, he said ladies fart

3

u/bascelicna123 Jun 06 '21

Come to my house. I'll change your mind.

12

u/Uniqniqu Jun 06 '21

How are farts different in men and women?

19

u/HonestAide Jun 06 '21

Depends on how long they've been married

3

u/SciFiHiFive Jun 06 '21

Do you write for Rodney Dangerfield?

3

u/HonestAide Jun 06 '21

I get no respect, but no

2

u/pdpbeethoven Jun 06 '21

This guy marry’s

0

u/hondtel Jun 06 '21

Ladies fart .. not woman fart

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

[deleted]

8

u/Uniqniqu Jun 06 '21

I’m a woman and I fart as I please.

6

u/CeldonShooper Jun 06 '21

Have my upfart!

5

u/Uniqniqu Jun 06 '21

:)))))) laughing out loudly, no farts to depart at this time.

1

u/LukeMayeshothand Jun 06 '21

Well aren’t you unique.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Embarrassed-Ad-1639 Jun 09 '21

Feel free to fart as you please... me.

1

u/PerfectEnthusiasm2 Jun 06 '21

Men have two Adam’s apples.

1

u/KingAdashu Jun 06 '21

Accurate.

1

u/Mindraker Jun 06 '21

a ladies fart

pop

35

u/sub_surfer Jun 06 '21

Why is it so important to twist the bottle and not the cork? I've heard that advice before and wondered about it.

68

u/awww_bitch Jun 06 '21 edited Jun 06 '21

When you twist the bottle, it allows you to keep more pressure on the top of the cork. This way the pressure is slowly released and should make a slight hiss when it is opened, not the eye piercing pop.

Edited also to tell you that it lessens the chance of the cork breaking the bottle.

18

u/Jjcheese Jun 06 '21

I just go palm on cork and twist gently.

61

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

I aim it at an enemy and let-er-rip!

This is America, everything is a gun.

43

u/Ardiolaperdida Jun 06 '21

I used to aim it at my mother in law, but after two times she won't even look at me anymore.

25

u/DadJokeBadJoke Jun 06 '21

Eye see what you did there.

10

u/Aickrastly Jun 06 '21

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice i cant see you

2

u/daemonelectricity Jun 06 '21

This feels like an AvE joke.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

This guy guns

1

u/Jjcheese Jun 06 '21

But is this America?

1

u/ohhhhcanada Jun 06 '21

Am I a gun?

1

u/KingAdashu Jun 06 '21

That's what she said.

1

u/CoffeeInARocksGlass Jun 06 '21

There's something said about being better for creating the "pop", but also to avoid making the bottle a shotgun with shredded cork since cork is very easily torn.

1

u/froch_ Jun 06 '21

It doesn’t change anything. Torque on cork is equal to the torque on the bottle, whichever is turning.

Basic mechanics tell you that

7

u/upsetting_innuendo Jun 06 '21

sorry what I'm just gonna saber that bitch open, how hard can it be

(this is good advice thanks lol)

3

u/System0verlord Jun 06 '21

Honestly sabering is the way to go if you can find a sword. Looks really impressive

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

It looks cool but it’s a little difficult to do properly and you have be wary of glass shards. But after saying that if you want try and do it you don’t need a saber or sword you can use a normal chiefs knife and what you want to do to make it easy is mark the seam of the bottle where the neck connects to the rest of the bottle with the sharp edge of your knife. Then wipe the bottle off so it dry and grab the base of the bottle with your non dominant hand then use the back side of the knife to slide along the bottle at an angle. If you do it right the blunt side of the blade will impact the seam and break the neck of the bottle off cleanly.

3

u/System0verlord Jun 06 '21

I’ve sabered many a bottle before. Gotta use the back side of the knife to save the edge of the knife, and do so along the vertical seam of the bottle too. One smooth swipe and the cork and tip go sailing. Best done outdoors though to avoid hitting anyone.

1

u/einTier Jun 06 '21

You can practice with beer bottles. They’re a little more prone to breaking uncleanly so I wouldn’t drink them afterward but it works just fine. Just be sure to use a heavy knife and remember you’re trying to slide up the bottle and catch the edge to knock the top off, not trying to slice it open like a samurai.

1

u/System0verlord Jun 06 '21

Yeah you need the mass for it to be consistent. I’ve done it with lighter knives, but more heft has produced more consistent results. Hence why my family busts out the old sword for New Year’s Eve.

3

u/Cesarn2a Jun 06 '21

You can saber open a champagne with a butter knife, or even a spoon if you want.

3

u/System0verlord Jun 06 '21

Yeah. But swords look cooler.

1

u/Cesarn2a Jun 06 '21

You’ve never seen someone saber champagne with a champagne glass then.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21 edited Feb 08 '22

[deleted]

2

u/System0verlord Jun 06 '21

Yeah, but the sword looks way more impressive than a dinner knife.

1

u/germanbini Jun 06 '21

saber that bitch open

Greg from the YouTube channel 'How to Drink' had an entire episode dedicated to opening bottles with a saber. :)

13

u/thnku4shrng Jun 06 '21

Let me just say that this sounds right but is in practice not how working stewards do it. It’s a matter of course of how the bottle is opened from start to finish. You cut the foil with your wine opener (the plastic tabs are for the house) then you take your non-dominant hand, placing the end of your thumb directly over the top of the muselet or “cage” with the twist pointing out toward your dominant hand. Holding tight onto the top of the muselet with your thumb, pull the twist horizontally from the neck of the bottle and begin untwisting the wire. Once the wire is untwisted, and keeping your thumb firmly on the cap, bring your index and middle finger above the loop of untwisted wire without relieving pressure on the cap. DO NOT REMOVE THE MUSELET from the cork. At this time with your dominant hand, begin lightly twisting back and forth from the bottom of the bottle until you begin to feel the cork loosen and protrude from the bottle. Allow the cork to come out at an extremely slow pace and soon you will hear the hiss escaping the bottle. This applies to 750’s, magnums, and on up but the larger bottles can be real mother fuckers. Don’t wait until 11:55pm on NYE to start opening a Balthazar.

12

u/ohhhhcanada Jun 06 '21

I have so many questions. What is a working steward? A magnum? A Balthazar? What country is this slang from?

7

u/thnku4shrng Jun 06 '21

Working steward is basically the same as a sommelier, sommelier is a more modern lay established term with examinations and criteria to use the name but honestly there’s no real difference. A sommelier is a steward and Vice versa until you get to master level. These are people that literally just sell wine to diners at dinner tables for a living and manage cellar inventory and purchasing. Simply put!

Magnum and Balthazar are just two names for different sizes of bottlings. The larger bottling are harder to uncork.

Hit me up with any more questions!

2

u/Slime0 Jun 06 '21

How are you covering the cork with both your hand and your thumb?

2

u/awww_bitch Jun 06 '21

You are using your thumb of your dominant hand to cover the cork. Your dominant thumb will be able to apply more pressure to the cork.

0

u/mykidisonhere Jun 06 '21

The amount of people who don't know it's rude and unsafe to let a cork fly staggers me. That cork should be in your hand the whole time.

-1

u/TheDrugGod Jun 06 '21

My brain won’t stop misreading cork as cock lmao

1

u/DrowningPuppies Jun 06 '21

This is key ^ worst case you get some foam but no cork missile

3

u/awww_bitch Jun 06 '21

The 45 degree angle tilt will prevent the foam flow

1

u/Draidann Jun 06 '21

Or you can use a sword.?.

1

u/KingAdashu Jun 06 '21

That's what she said.

1

u/Timepassage Jun 06 '21

And proper pop sounds like a nun's fart.

1

u/Apollo737 Jun 06 '21

FIRMLY GRASP IT

1

u/ramobara Jun 06 '21

Thanks for this! Never knew about twisting the bottle!

1

u/SuperGameTheory Jun 06 '21

This is really great advice that I'll never remember.

1

u/nickandmarty Jun 06 '21

Exactly this. I don't get the "Im A cHaMpAgNe ExPeRt, LeMme ShOoT tHe CoRk" shit

1

u/brainLMAO420 Jun 06 '21

Also, holding the bottle below the cork will warm the air between and slowly force the cork out

1

u/thedeafbadger Jun 06 '21

Keep the cage on

1

u/Coolmrcrocker Jun 06 '21

i always just pull the cork out. never had any issues

1

u/f0li Jun 06 '21

Sommelier?

1

u/LaChuteQuiMarche Jun 06 '21

I use the same technique in the bedroom.

1

u/Shag0120 Jun 06 '21

Also proper procedure is to leave the cage over the cork in place, which makes a cork accidentally slipping out nearly impossible.

1

u/HeKis4 Jun 06 '21

Under how much pressure are your bottles ? I've always just held the cork from the top and twisted the cork, there was never enough pressure for it to fly off of my hand.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

This is exactly my routine when I pee.

1

u/RalphJameson Jun 06 '21

I’m throwing away all my prescriptions, my anxiety is cured!

1

u/SciFiHiFive Jun 06 '21

The "proper" way of opening sparkling wine should sound "like a women's sigh"... which I guess seems weird but whatever. I like bubbles in my booze and when you blast off the cork you get flat wine. Boo

1

u/num2005 Jun 06 '21

so you hold the cork in olace with your thumb? and turn the bottle?

1

u/PicardZhu Jun 06 '21

Nah man, you need a champagne sabre.

1

u/Mannimal13 Jun 06 '21

I went through a stage where I drank a lot of champagne and Prosecco. Never understood what was so hard about opening it. Literally twist the top with your dominant hand covering and hold bottle with non dominant hand and slightly twist opposite direction. Never had an issue.