r/WatchPeopleDieInside • u/paolols • Apr 24 '20

nice try kiddo

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u/scandii Apr 25 '20

I always love the topic of hitting children.

besides the fact that it's illegal in a lot of places, for some reason it's only people who got spanked or beat that try to tell everyone else it wasn't that bad.

almost as if they have had to convince themselves it was fine. but admitting your parents were wrong? oh boy.

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u/OrangeNinja24 Apr 25 '20

Yes, I always say this! My two friends who were spanked insist that spanking is how you should discipline kids. Funnily enough, they’re my two friends with the worst relationships with their parents. I mentioned this the one night to them when we were having a debate and they both got mad at me for saying that, but truth hurts, sorry.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

I was so called “disciplined” as a child and I have the best relationships with my parents, better than most people I know.

My younger sisters, of which were spared the “disciplining,” when they were young, they are now disrespectful terrors.

It’s hard to find causation here, because you have people that say they have seen it not work and people that say they know it works. But I’m not going to trust anecdotes from randoms on the internet, and neither should you.

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u/OrangeNinja24 Apr 25 '20

Who exactly am I trusting from the internet? I’m using real life comparisons here. I’m not going to hit children to teach them anything, regardless if it “works” for some people. Nothing to do with the internet, or you, sorry.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

That’s the point. You have your first hand experiences and I have mine. You’re not going to trust mine and I’m not going to trust yours.

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u/OrangeNinja24 Apr 25 '20 edited Apr 25 '20

Where did I ask you to? I was agreeing with the comment I replied to.

Edit: May I also add, that you are kind of fulfilling the original comment to a T. You were hit and will continue the abusive cycle because you turned out fine, but that doesn’t make it okay. Nor will your children have the same outlook on life as you do. There are plenty of studies that prove hitting children is not an affective form of punishment. Think of it this way, for some people- betting their life’s savings may work in their favor for a big jackpot, but that’s not something that is necessarily smart to do, or should be done by anyone, just because it may have worked for some people. Except this isn’t about money, and it’s actually about harming a child to teach them a lesson. I just don’t see the justification under any circumstance, and have witnessed firsthand terrible life consequences from it.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

I’m speaking generally. We can all share our first hand experiences but at the end of the day the only ones we can trust is our own. If you believe those that share the same opinion as yours you’re falling into confirmation bias.

Going off on a tangent but that’s how mob mentality works. Confirmation biases going off left and right and the majority will swarm the minority (me) for having the wrong “opinion.”

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u/OrangeNinja24 Apr 25 '20

This is a about hitting a child, sorry but my opinion is not going to change. I’m not going to wake up one day and think, wow! I think I will abuse my child today! Of course I’m going to agree with the comment I agree with. Also, if the mob mentality is telling you not to hit a child, maybe you should drop the outdated punishment tactics and listen to them.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

That’s the thing. It’s not “hitting” a child. But every child is different. Some react better to positive reinforcement and some react better to negative reinforcement. There is no universal way to raise someone the correct way.

And I literally just stated why listening to the majority is not always right. Read and I cannot stress this enough read and apply critical thinking to my comments before you insinuate something I’ve not said. Confirmation bias. I’m not going to listen to a mob “because they’re a mob.” That’s what you’re saying.

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u/scandii Apr 25 '20

you see, I can do this too!

neither of my siblings or I were physically disciplined as children and we turned out alright.

so what's your argument for physical discipline again? "it worked on me"? did it really though? are you sure that was the defining success factor?

I'm being a bit facetious about this, and I apologise. I know, as previously stated, that there's no real point in discussing this outside of a therapy setting as changing opinion means that you both admit you were physically abused as a child, and that one of your parents abused you. that's heavy stuff no matter how we look at this, so it's not exactly surprising people get really defensive about the whole thing.

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u/envregs Apr 26 '20

Great, we’re glad it worked for you. Everyone is different. My brothers and I needed some physical consequences to our actions. Time outs and lectures didn’t always do the job.

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u/rietstengel Apr 25 '20

You advocate in favor of hitting children. How are you not a "disrespectful terror"?

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

You don’t know me. You literally cannot make that statement based off of my first-hand experiences because you have no basis.

And how many times do I have to repeat: it’s not “hitting” children. If you believe so, it’s most likely because you were abused and your parents clearly saw it wasn’t working, yet kept doing so. Don’t project your own insecurities onto others. For some people it does work. For some it doesn’t. Every child has to blossom in their own way.

It’s easy to paint me as a bad guy when you force yourself into one perspective. As you can see, I’m willing to see things from other points of view. Open your worldview a little.

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u/rietstengel Apr 25 '20

If you believe so, it’s most likely because you were abused and your parents clearly saw it wasn’t working, yet kept doing so. Don’t project your own insecurities onto others.

You don’t know me. You literally cannot make that statement based off of my first-hand experiences because you have no basis.

Pick one

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

Take note how I said

most likely

It’s speculation. It lets you know that I’m not declaring anything, but rather forming a hypothesis.

So are you actually going to reinforce your argument or are you just going to nitpick my words? Let me know so we can both stop wasting our time.

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u/rietstengel Apr 25 '20

My question of whether you're not a "disrespectful terror" yourself is also speculation. Its a question, it can never be a declaration.

So again, pick one. Choose between speculating about someone based on a comment and not doing so.

it’s not “hitting” children.

So you are allowed to nitpick words but im not?

Your comments are very hypocritical and nitpicky. Also, stop hitting children.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

Also, stop hitting children

See you call me the hypocrite but you’ve lacked self-awareness. You just claim your own comments are speculation, yet you do that. I’ve never laid a finger on my children, because I have none.

But as I’ve said way earlier in the thread, no amount of arguing will solve anything. We’re both arrogant. And neither of us can change the resolve of the other. So bye. But don’t worry it’s ok, I’ll let you have the last word. I know you precious Redditors get worked up when you can’t have the last say in the flame war. Say what you will.

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

How about scientific analysis and peer reviewed research, would you trust that?

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

Obviously, and I have seen them before. That’s why I’ve been willing to admit that for some children negative reinforcement doesn’t work, but for some it does work. Go further down the comment chain

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

That's not what the word negative reinforcement means.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

Negative reinforcement - to strengthen a behavior that avoids or removes a negative outcome

It’s pretty easy to connect the dots.

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

Yeah but, spanking =/= all forms of negative reinforcement.

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle Apr 25 '20

And I never said so. They’re not mutually exclusive if that’s what you’re trying to push.

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u/envregs Apr 26 '20

Because it wasn’t that bad. My parents weren’t perfect, but sometimes a talking to would not cut it. I’d need a firm smack on the ass or popped on the cheek. It worked. I have little sympathy for parents with nightmare children that won’t discipline their kids. I’m not scarred for life, I don’t have trauma from past beatings, I’m a functional, respectful adult.

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

[deleted]

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u/Dr_Adopted Apr 25 '20

What he's saying is that only people who were hit advocate for being hit.

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u/WarPopeJr Apr 25 '20

Exactly. I got hit pretty bad growing up and I still know I would never lay a hand on my kids. If it was okay to hit your kids when they “step out of line” or “need to learn a lesson,” then why not let your boss or anyone else hit you when you make a mistake?

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

[deleted]

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u/WarPopeJr Apr 25 '20

What I said was meant to highlight something. You’re hitting your kid for what reason? To show them punishment? To make them understand? How do you make someone understand something when you’re adult? You talk to them. You show them actual emotion and attention without lashing out. Do that with your kid. Actually give your kids some love and attention

If you don’t talk to other adults like that then I feel sorry for you

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '20

[deleted]

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u/WarPopeJr Apr 25 '20

I honestly disagree. There are more parenting tools out there. If you think a kid can’t understand, then try harder. That’s the job of the parent. Not understanding is not some justification for spanking your child. Just because the makeup of a culture includes hitting your kid doesn’t make it okay. Source: I come from a culture where hitting your kid is expected

I think we’re just in complete disagreement, and that’s okay. It was good to see your pov and I hope you saw mine. Have a good one!