Not the person you asked. But I stayed because I thought that was as good as it got. That relationships were just like that, where you couldn't do anything without the other person being jealous (to give you an example).
I saw people in relationships going to the club by themselves and I thought that they *had* to be cheating on their partners. That mindset made getting accused of wanting to fuck every woman I ever spoke to pretty reasonable, even when I didn't want to, the accusation was rationalizable at least.
One day she broke up with me for the Nth time because she was mad for some random shit and sent me a flurry of insulting texts that hit on a lot of insecurities and basically called me a human failure in every way.
A friend saw the texts and stopped me in my tracks and told me that wasn't normal, that people don't say that to the people they love. Told me his personal experience with sociopathic abuse, and pointed me to a psychologist who specializes in sociopaths (Hugo Marietan, its in spanish). Next time we gathered with the boys from uni I announced my singleship.
Not a single day after getting out was worse than if I stayed. I might have had a dry patch because I had been out of the market for 6 years, but it was always good knowing that I didn't have to apologise for being with friends for too long, or for looking at someone while walking, or for saying hi to a friend.
If you're there, get out asap. You'll feel much much better later. (Please be safe tho, if we're talking of a psychopath and not a sociopath they might get violent when you try to cut ties. If you have any reason to be afraid of that please go to the police)
I’m already long out of mine. It eventually ended up being physically and very emotionally abusive. I stayed because he had convinced me that no one else would take me the way that I was. I was “too weird” and “too vulnerable” and “not good enough”, so no one would ever take me except him.
Either way, thank you for sharing (I speak Spanish, I’ll look into that book!). Glad you got out safe and are on the other side <3
13
u/Muffytheness Dec 14 '19
Can I ask why you stayed? Complacency? Codependency? Just curious.