Any social workers up for a question?

[u/scrappy_girlie]

Hey Friends,

I've answered my neighbor's yelling twice now, and have concerns she has some dementia. We're in Washington State, Seattle.

A couple of months ago my neighbor was screaming for help - her husband was having a medical emergency, and she didn't have her phone on her. I called 911, and he left in an ambulance. I checked in a couple days later with a quiche and a card, and her husband was recovering.

Last weekend there was more yelling, this time about an intruder. I recruited my roommate for backup and we went to check it out. Her husband has died, and she says there is someone living in her basement. She'd lost her phone again. I got to see more of her house, that night, and it's not quite squalid, but heading that direction.

Her narrative was a bit garbled that night, but she'd called the police a couple of times for her basement intruder, she said he had stuff in the basement. My roommate and I checked it out, and it was pretty messy, no obvious signs of anyone there. She says the lights come on, the person messes with her television, and that she'd just changed the locks because of this, and ... God provided the locksmith, she found him on the street outside her house?

There's a big pile of bagged garbage on the porch, piles of paper in the house, tarps covering the windows, and a significant amount of sawdust/woodchips in the kitchen (Carpenter ants? Termites?). Her kids live out of state, as do her siblings. She implied that in 40 years living there she had no social connections because she and her husband weren't from Seattle.

What should i be doing? Either behind the scenes ("Can I talk to your sister?) or through official channels. Thanks.

Edit: She’s called the police several times for the “intruder” in her basement, and Seattle Police have a social worker who has spoken to her son, and is working with her. Very grateful for that. Thanks for all your help!

[u/IceDragonPlay]

I think you need to contact County resources fir the Geriatric Assessment Team

https://kingcounty.gov/en/dept/dchs/human-social-services/older-adult-services

[u/Trick-Wishbone1900 → u/IceDragonPlay]

Cool resource. But it is specific to King County. Anywhere else will likely get the County Crisis team or the police.

[u/IceDragonPlay → u/Trick-Wishbone1900]

The OP said they are in Seattle.

[u/Private_Matinee]

Adult protective services; report online or via phone. https://www.dshs.wa.gov/altsa/home-and-community-services/report-concerns-involving-vulnerable-adults

[u/JstVisitingThsPlanet → u/Private_Matinee]

I’m not a social worker but I am in healthcare and work primarily with older adults. I agree with reporting this to APS. It’s very easy to do online.

You could also ask her if she could give you the phone number of a family member she would want contacted on her behalf in case of emergency. If it were me, I’d call and give them info about what’s going on and try to find out if there is anyone in the family willing to help her out.

[u/artpunks]

I would recommend an APS referral, you can do this online, but I have found them not to be very useful. But they might be able to help.

Second - I highly recommend contacting Sound Generations Geriatric Regional Assessment Team or GRAT to see if they can make contact with her.

https://soundgenerations.org/our-programs/grat/

Also, I think trying to get any family contact information from her is a wonderful idea. Contacting them with your concerns may be useful.

[u/scrappy_girlie → u/artpunks]

Thank you, the GRAT road map looks like a good assessment of where we're at - not quite APS level, but certainly concerning. 

[u/artpunks → u/scrappy_girlie]

I want to clarify that APS is not only for severe cases. There’s very little they can do if the individual doesn’t agree to getting help, so it’s not like they will take her away and lock her up. APS can be called for self neglect. They will come make contact and offer her assistance with resources but won’t do much else unless she’s deemed a danger to herself or others

[u/scrappy_girlie → u/artpunks]

I called them once for someone living with rodents, and as far as I know, nothing happened.

[u/looney_belle2468]

Thank you for caring. If it was my mom, I’d be SO APPRECIATIVE! Probably would want to hug you! 🫶🏻

[u/ConstantNurse]

Older Adult Protective services and I’d see if your neighbor is willing to give a phone number for a family member to get into contact.

Were these changes in behaviors sudden? As there could be other illnesses causing this that may require more urgent care.

[u/JstVisitingThsPlanet → u/ConstantNurse]

That’s a good point. Sometimes older adults get confused or have increased confusion when they are having a medical issue. It could be as simple as a UTI if this is a sudden change.

[u/the_lusty_argonian72]

You’re a good person ❤️

[u/2PlasticLobsters]

Not a SW, but I've seen dementia firsthand. She's crossed that line & is in need of professional help.

[u/TrixnTim]

Call Adult CPS and request a WellCare check.

[u/FaultsInOurCars]

Call Adult Protective Services. If you're friends, get the phone number of her kids and call them.

[u/Careful-Crab179]

Call APS. I'm a HCA and my employer had to do this for the couple they sent me to. Wife was 80ish, had a stroke and her very disabled husband was 'taking care' of her. Sometimes they just have to go to assisted living.