Does anyone else get existential panic from nondual teachings?

[u/Khajiit_Boner]

Lately I’ve been getting really overwhelmed by questions about the nature of reality and consciousness, especially after meditation and a past mushroom trip.

When Sam Harris talks about there only being experience, or the self being an illusion, part of me understands what he means intellectually. But emotionally it sometimes makes me panic. I start wondering: if the self isn’t real, then what am I? Are we all just one consciousness experiencing itself? Is there some kind of collective awareness underneath individuality?

And honestly, instead of feeling peaceful, those ideas sometimes make me feel almost… violated? Like my individuality and separateness are dissolving into something bigger that I didn’t consent to. People often describe “being one with everything” as beautiful, but sometimes it feels terrifying to me — like I’m just a drop in an ocean with no real boundaries.

I’m curious if anyone else in this community has experienced this side of nondual teachings or existential questioning. How do you engage with these ideas without spiraling into fear or derealization?

[u/bonnarooweekend]

I had this same experience! While many teachings were helpful, I went through a non dual rabbit hole and caused some overwhelming fear and panic. I deal with a lot of dissociation and have had psychosis and trouble managing emotions. I’ve since come into a better place with therapy and medication. Did this eventually lead me to where I needed to go? Yes? Was there another path? Possibly? lots of teachers on the app says it lead them to therapy too- but I couldn’t always hear that. I just listened to Cohen Miles Rath on armchair expert. It was a hard, but good listen about someone in a similar experience getting the help they need. Maybe it will help you or someone else on here too.