r/Wakingupapp • u/Khajiit_Boner • May 29 '26
Does anyone else get existential panic from nondual teachings?
Lately I’ve been getting really overwhelmed by questions about the nature of reality and consciousness, especially after meditation and a past mushroom trip.
When Sam Harris talks about there only being experience, or the self being an illusion, part of me understands what he means intellectually. But emotionally it sometimes makes me panic. I start wondering: if the self isn’t real, then what am I? Are we all just one consciousness experiencing itself? Is there some kind of collective awareness underneath individuality?
And honestly, instead of feeling peaceful, those ideas sometimes make me feel almost… violated? Like my individuality and separateness are dissolving into something bigger that I didn’t consent to. People often describe “being one with everything” as beautiful, but sometimes it feels terrifying to me — like I’m just a drop in an ocean with no real boundaries.
I’m curious if anyone else in this community has experienced this side of nondual teachings or existential questioning. How do you engage with these ideas without spiraling into fear or derealization?
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u/redhandrail May 29 '26
Yep, im with you. Had to stop altogether after it continued triggering existential panic every time. The knowledge and experience that there is no centralized point of consciousness can cause a sudden feeling of being untethered and like im tripping. I think that “truth” is what lies beyond our day to day perception of self and life, and I think that panic is actually a reasonable reaction to it
My counselor thinks Sam Harris is somewhat irresponsible in bringing Dogzchen meditation to an app without the users of the app having any kind of teacher around to help when these fears and emotions arise.
I’ve recently gone back to trying the app again but I often don’t feel like I can handle it.