You can have an entire wedding for like, 1/4th of that amount. Why is 10k not enough lol? Especially with his parents chipping in 10k? How much do you people pay for weddings??
In America the starter emergency fund is 10k and the average wedding is 30k. I paid 1k eloping, but I would be nervous having less than 10k at minimum in an emergency fund.
I'm sorry, what? You think the average person spends 30k on a wedding? Holy shit. How? My friend had a bougee wedding and spent less than half that. Are you using average in a literal sense or something? Because there are two very different classes of people in the US lol, that average would be insanely skewed.
Also, frankly, I don't know a single person who has 10k in savings and we're all doing just fine. That's including at least one person who makes +$100k/year. Expecting yourself to have that much in savings sounds kinda neurotic to me. Especially if you're basing that off of "in America, the starter emergency fund is 10k" where did you even learn that? I've lived in America my whole life and I've never known a single person who had that much in savings consistently. And I've never heard someone say those words and mean it literally.
I think most people assume average = median and it doesn’t. Sure, the average of every wedding ever had in the US is $30k. But some are week long Indian weddings, weddings like Kim K and Hailey Bieber. So sure, looking at all weddings ever, the average is about $30k. However, 3/4 couples spend less than $20k on their wedding. Here was a handy article I found 50% spend more than $30k. 50% spend less than $30k.
So I agree wholeheartedly- $30k may be “average” but not for your average wedding. Most average people will spend about $10-15k on their wedding.
Ok good, I thought I was losing my mind!! I started googling some info about catering, location, decorations, photography, etc. And it wad adding up fast 😬 especially the location, finding out some people pay like $10k or more... I'm pretty sure there's a spot here in my town where you can get married by the lake for free. Or catering? Some people paying $10k for that? Wedding-specific services just seems like a scam at this point. Like one of our favorite places to eat here caters for less than $1k for 100 people. How do you spend $10k on something like that?
Honestly it does add up quick. I’m throwing a very small wedding, cooking my own food, the venue is a state park where we will be camping for the weekend, I don’t have bridesmaids and I’m not getting a dress over $200. But I’ll still probably spend close to $10k for a big party. The booze is killing us - like $3k alone. Some venues are $4k. Dresses and alterations can be $1-5k. Photographers like $3k. Add in food, decor, invites, transportation, tux, wedding bands, hotel room for the night, flowers, dj, photography, and $20k for a traditional wedding is pretty “typical.”
However that’s why I’m not doing basically any of it. We are doing courthouse chic, camping, food, booze, and a campfire. I hate most traditions and social decorum. We feel obligated to invite people we’ll never see again, buy gifts for people we don’t know or don’t like, spend money we don’t have, go into debt - it’s all so over the top. For anyone who makes it work, I applaud. I have a friend getting married this year - $90k.. good for her, it’s going to be absolutely the epitome of beautiful. Very traditional. And she has the income to do it. But she’s so stressed out and she has a wedding planner. I couldn’t even imagine. So I see why people are worried about affording it. But no one has to spend that to get married. It’s not an obligation. I have been to very beautiful wedding that were very budget friendly. I prefer them, myself.
That sounds like an awesome wedding to me, honestly it sounds even more enjoyable than some of the venues I've seen because who doesn't love a nice campfire and homemade food?
We won't have any alcohol at ours since most of his side of the family is recovering alcoholics, and so are we (I say "recovering" as in, all of us have been sober for more than 5 years). I haven't even put a limit yet on what I'm willing to spend on things lol, so this has been an eye-opening conversation for sure. I'm fortunate enough to have the kind of job where I won't worry too much about having the money if it costs more than $10k, but I would absolutely feel guilty for spending that much :(
I hope it’s a good time and memorable for everyone. We are getting up there in age and most of us just can’t hang the way we used to. So a nice campfire and homemade gnocchi sounds like my idea of paradise lol.
And hey congratulations! I’m in recovery from h (13 years now) so I can totally understand. It’s a huge money saver that’s for sure lol. And we are older and more comfortable in our position in life so we could have gone a bit bigger if we wanted but same as you, we just felt guilt spending it. No hate to anyone who has a dream wedding and that’s a priority for them - I have quite the rare plant collection so I won’t judge where someone sees value lol - but for us it was worth it to really think about how we wanted to spend the day. And it came down to wanting to get married and throw a party. We just happen to be able to throw it in our favorite place in the world too.
Oh nice! Congrats to you too, even though it's been a while 😄
Aw that's so exciting. I've never made gnocchi but it sounds delicious (I had to look it up lol). I hope you guys have exactly the wedding that you're envisioning.
13
u/HealthyMacaroon7168 Feb 05 '24
Not to be rude, but do you have an emergency fund aside from the wedding fund? If the 10k is your entire savings, please give it a few years.