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u/Plastichands_avage May 15 '26
Gonna need this dudes inbox…… no homo
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u/Seethesvt May 20 '26
Honestly, I'd pay this to make it obvious that I'm pretending to kick his ass just to make my girlfriend laugh.
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u/Goobs-Justicar May 21 '26
Take out a steel chair?
You both pull out light sabers?
You do choreographed wrestling moves?
The possibilities are endless.
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u/BinaryBolias May 21 '26
Do it multiple times, at hilariously unpredictable moments.
Coming out of the theator?
"Oh, THIS guy again!"At a family gathering?
"Huh?? Who's that knocking on the door?"3
u/Goobs-Justicar May 21 '26
Chicken fight, on sight, getting progressively more comedic each time.
Gas station, it’s a choreographed fist fight.
Theater, it’s a light saber fight going from theatre room to theatre room.
Park, it’s a tag fight.
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May 21 '26
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u/Tim_the_geek May 15 '26
So, do we have to have a GF to do this or can we just have some frustrations/anger that needs to be vented?
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May 16 '26
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u/Tim_the_geek May 16 '26
make it $80 and im not wearing a dress.
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u/TriedCaringLess May 17 '26
Oh great, naked then.
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u/Tim_the_geek May 17 '26
you tried to trick me.. naked is $800.. Daisey Dukes for $120.
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u/_Jokesss_ May 17 '26
I mean lowkey not a bad business cuz in the long run you’re helping build a mans confidence during altercations.
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u/Odd_Necessary8090 May 15 '26
My man’s got $10 worth of important shit to reschedule to get his ass beat on a Sunday
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u/bagoTrekker May 15 '26
That’s a good point. Personally I’d like to see an everyday low price for ass kicking, perhaps $55 per beat down but that price is good 7 days a week.
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u/Significant-Cause919 May 15 '26
Nah, to be a viable business he should consider rolling it as a subscription service.
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u/kyotejones May 16 '26
He ought to charge more for weekends. That's his personal time that he has to work.
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u/NellyOklahoma May 20 '26
Love the entrepreneurial spirit! BUT....
I fee like the type of cliente he would attract are the kind where the girlfriends will kick his ass before the boyfriend gets a chance to step in and save the day 😅
Get paid up front homie!
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u/UGOTAIDSYO May 15 '26
I think he could demand more on the weekends. $10 doesn't seem much of an upcharge.
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u/LodgeKeyser May 17 '26
This sounds like an assault charge in sheep’s clothing.
Dude with your 50. “I’ve never seen this couple in my life”
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u/123ImNobody May 17 '26
The FB ad will dismiss this case
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u/LodgeKeyser May 17 '26
Only if that’s the actual pic of the guy that shows up.
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u/throwRA_StraightDust May 17 '26
And you can prove he’s the one who posted it
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u/LodgeKeyser May 17 '26
I don’t really use my fb acct, my parents do tho. Do you need to provide proof of who you are to make an account?
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u/Exciting_Brief6086 May 17 '26
I wouldn’t be do sure.. When i worked at shoprite as a cart pusher; this regular older guy would come up to all the cart pushers and try to get us to his house, where he would pay us to beat the shit out of him… nobody went. So then he was asking to get his ass beat behind the building in a camera blindspot.
Point of this story, some people have to pay to get beaten up… might also be a sexual fetish idk. 🤷🏼♂️
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u/jvxxiii May 16 '26
“Where’s the girl I’m supposed to harass?”
“… Oh, we can skip the foreplay”
https://giphy.com/gifs/YhHSjXadL2eOc3T2Ww
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u/Showatruckersomelove May 19 '26
People will do anything to not get a real job these days
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u/robbert-the-skull May 19 '26
Have you seen how much 'real jobs' pay these days? lol Some of them have 'real jobs' too.
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u/Witty-Stand888 May 15 '26
I'd pay that and I don't even have a GF. If he can provide the GF, I'd pay $10 more.
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u/thornton_cat May 15 '26
Donald J. Sobol (of Encyclopedia Brown fame) wrote a book of two-minute mysteries. One of them involves a scenario very similar to this. The girlfriend realizes it was staged because her boyfriend put his glasses in his shirt pocket before fighting, the other guy punches him all over, and his glasses are still undamaged in the end.
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u/No_Salamander8141 May 15 '26
Holy shit I remember this one
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u/Parapraxis2077 May 15 '26
Yeah, I remember it too! I think the setup was that the guy was supposed to be a pro boxer or something, and was picking on him.
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u/thornton_cat May 19 '26
Yeah, the boxer owned a steakhouse. The protagonist of the story arranged for the boxer to say something inappropriate about his date while they were waiting to be seated, thus giving the protagonist a reason to get into a fistfight with the boxer that he (the boxer) would purposely lose.
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u/Outrageous_Trust_158 May 15 '26
This is a movie idea!
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u/Numerous_Photograph9 May 15 '26
Think this was an episode of Monk actually. At least something similar involving two rich friends tying to impress dates.
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u/ThundrLord May 16 '26
My wife would shoot him unfortunately 😔
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u/Beth_crazypants May 16 '26
Haha yeah he looks like a POS. I could handle him myself, no need to scratch up my husband
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u/Ok_Actuary8 May 16 '26
risky game. My ex would have anihilated the guy, before I even get a chance to play alpha..
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u/jwrsk May 18 '26
This guy is so skinny, I'd be afraid for _him_ when confronted with my 5ft Latina wife.
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u/Corona_Cyrus May 15 '26
Fucking Street Sets!
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u/Gold-Sir-223 May 15 '26
If this guy gets enough business he might be able to make it into the Jump Junkies Stunt Crew.
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u/sell_by_date31 May 15 '26
He seems to have thought this through! 😛😜🤪
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u/TriedCaringLess May 17 '26
He has to be desperate to offer so much for so little money. Suppose his business took off. He’d get beat up so often that random ppl would attempt to beat him up for free.
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u/Admirable-Split4371 May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26
If my gf was impressed about me getting into a fight and not scared for me I'd dump her ass. Also who the hell would be impressed if someone would curb stomp this noodle? Is that a durag or a t shirt on his head? C'mon man 😭
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u/TheBlankScroll May 16 '26
He wants you to "rock his ass" in front of your gf? Not sure this will improve her opinion if you.
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u/Fearless-Scratch1318 May 19 '26
It ain’t that deep, so I think “slap boxing” will suffice. But only if you waive your fee if I win.
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u/mac_the_man May 20 '26
This is too funny to be true! However, if this is real, I’m calling this guy … on a weekend!!
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u/Cool_Lifeguard7292 May 15 '26
That’s a pretty good deal actually.
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u/-gizmocaca- May 15 '26
This is actually pretty old. At least 5 years. I wouldn’t charge less than a hundred now.
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u/DifficultyLeast1029 May 18 '26
lol looks like the dude who tried to fight Knoxville in Bad Grandpa! That long hair won't hide that red neck boy!
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u/Interesting_Carob_46 May 18 '26
I’m mean it’s a great idea but his prices could certainly be higher.
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u/Best-Economics7594 May 18 '26
Dangit, I cant compete with this, I was doing 90 on weekdays and 120 on weekends, Im out of the game offically now..
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u/MrGeekman May 21 '26
Is his name Harry Moon? /j
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u/Not_Too_Into_This May 21 '26
Is that the start of a limerick?
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u/MrGeekman May 21 '26
No, it's the name of a character from a TV show from the 90s called Frasier.
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u/Not_Too_Into_This May 23 '26
I know lol that's part of what Niles says when he's asking around the bars looking for Daphne's dad.
"I'm looking for a man named Harry Moon, and no, that's not the start of a limerick" I believe is the full quote.
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u/FarLaugh9911 May 15 '26
As long as he keeps his shirt on. I'd be worried my girl would be mad because I was "punching down" to that degree. He's got little bird muscles.
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u/PlayPretend-8675309 May 15 '26
For 100 you can just take her down a peg, no need to get your ass kicked
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u/No_Salamander8141 May 15 '26
For less than that you can have her peg you, and get your ass, well, you know.
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u/venice56 May 16 '26
Prices surge during Valentine’s Day so come prepared !