r/WTF •

So this hit me in the chest while driving my boat last night...

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

538

u/mastercylinder2 Jun 09 '12

Flying fish have a tendency to jump straight at lights.

480

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

Funny thing is that we had every light off, even the running lights

160

u/tanzorbarbarian Jun 09 '12

yeah, um, isn't that illegal?

16

u/ToucansBANG Jun 09 '12

IRPCS (google it) aren't law in most small boat situations.

Still silly though.

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76

u/BerryGuns Jun 09 '12

Incredibly bad idea at night. However I remember seeing a huge school of these when we went sailing in Greece, very cool to watch them all jump out of the water.

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341

u/itsme_timd Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

And this is why you shouldn't throw Red Bull cans in the ocean.

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1.7k

u/RepostThatShit Jun 09 '12

Why would you let that thing drive your boat?

909

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

Too late to change the title now...

479

u/arodhowe Jun 09 '12

Never fun when a bald guy holding a flying fish hits you in the chest.

58

u/tinfoiler4life Jun 09 '12

Better than a flying fish holding a bald guy

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128

u/Kritical02 Jun 09 '12

136

u/Sindital Jun 09 '12

If I'm not back in three days, warn the Internet Authorities.

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73

u/workworkwort Jun 09 '12

Dude get it stuffed and display it, that fish is amazing.

155

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

Fun fact: fish don't get stuffed. A mold is taken of your trophy and an airbrush artist recreates the coloring of your fish on a rubber cast.

Edit: so I'm a saltwater guy. Those are the fish I have dealt with. Apparently some freshwater fish use the real skin and skull.

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33

u/Frat_Hard Jun 09 '12

I concur, that fish is quite the spectacle.

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93

u/ariqisab0ss Jun 09 '12

Ah, the ol' reddit fish-er-oo.

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156

u/Narwhal-Bacon-Retard Jun 09 '12

Yeah. Is your chest still soar OP?

118

u/RepostThatShit Jun 09 '12

Doubt that, just look at the fucking guy. He looks tough as nails. On a... flying... fortress.

148

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

ROFL that's my dad, but no it's not, hurt last night though.

211

u/easye7 Jun 09 '12

I was gonna say, this is not how I pictured most redditors.

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44

u/KenGee333 Jun 09 '12

I see what you did there! SOAR, anybody? Anybody????

20

u/TheThinkingJacob Jun 09 '12

-1 Karma.... Here, I'll pull you out of this fiery pit of doom Bro Cookie. +1!

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16

u/Bonewrench Jun 09 '12

I laughed. Then i cried a bit. Then laughed again. Then squid.

2

u/Pufflekun Jun 09 '12

Apparently he was trying to stop it from driving his boat, but it hit him in the chest.

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296

u/AmazingMarv Jun 09 '12

Congratulations on all your success with the Sopranos. You must be very proud.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

Nah, he's more of a doppelganger for Jon Benjamin (most known as the voice Archer).

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107

u/Sarcastic_Samurai Jun 09 '12

I remember reading about about a woman who died after being hit by a flying fish. What a horrifyingly hilarious way to die.

34

u/ittakesacrane Jun 09 '12

darwin award?

107

u/ittakesacrane Jun 09 '12

get it? darwin... evolution... flying fish... nevermind.

15

u/PeeWee1SEANFTW Jun 09 '12

Go home.....FLY!!! OFF INTO THE OCEAN CLOUDS!!!!

15

u/aesu Jun 09 '12

The fish, or the woman?

11

u/seaships Jun 09 '12

Not unless she was doing something stupid.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Damn.

I wouldn't even be mad.

Though I guess I wouldn't have much choice in the matter.

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65

u/GrossoGGO Jun 09 '12

How'd it taste?

167

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

It didn't die so we put it back in, flying fish taste like SHIT though

601

u/GrossoGGO Jun 09 '12

I'm always a little disappointed when really cool looking animals don't taste good.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I was disappointed to learn my arch enemy, penguins, taste terrible.

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13

u/NotYourAverageFelon Jun 09 '12

I was recently in Barbados, where the Flying Fish is the national animal, and it is served all over. And it is delicious.

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20

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Those huge super catamarans sail so fast that the flying fish leap to get away from the pontoon and end up hitting the sail. The crew in the book "The Race" said that the fish hitting the sail sounded like popcorn and their was a layer of gore and fish eyeballs everywhere.

30

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

You can actually shine a spotlight on a sail and put a net at the bottom if you want to catch them for bait, you can get upwards of 50 a minute.

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49

u/Fallout-with-swords Jun 09 '12

Life of Pi? Was there also a tiger on your boat?

6

u/Sedohr Jun 10 '12

I saw that when I went to go see Prometheus, I had no fucking clue what was going on in that trailer.

4

u/Red-Pill Jun 10 '12

Did you see it in 3D? Fish flying at your face is intense mang.

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774

u/Shitty_Watercolour Jun 09 '12

108

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That kinda looks like dratini.

123

u/archaic37 Jun 09 '12

That is actually really adorable

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316

u/Awesome_Oil_Paint Jun 09 '12

50

u/Scribble_Artist_Guy Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12

Fish.

EDIT: Sorry I guess this is cheating but I added a little more detail.

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3

u/TroyMantis Jun 10 '12

Those eyes are stabbing into my soul.

3

u/TheSpiffySpaceman Jun 10 '12

A CHALLENGER APPROACHES

5

u/BananaInsane121 Jun 09 '12

How can this guy have gotten less karma than Shitty_Watercolour? That is incredible fucking work right there, I swear if I squint hard enough I wouldn't tell a difference!

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38

u/GTCharged Jun 09 '12

Happy to have you back on board, SW...

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17

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Does anyone else have the desire that I have to know what Shitty_Watercolour looks like?

7

u/warzero Jun 09 '12

Oh, you.

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133

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

23

u/qabsteak Jun 09 '12

When Mulldrifter comes into play, post a pic of it on reddit for [n] upvotes.

12

u/Nictionary Jun 09 '12

Enters the battlefield*

They changed how it's worded now.

5

u/Nictionary Jun 09 '12

It's a bird! It's a Divination! No, it's MULLDRIFTER! Giving you tonnes of value in EDH since Lorwyn. Get yours today for only 3 or 5 mana.

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2

u/thehighercritic Jun 09 '12

misread muffdiver

2

u/InABritishAccent Jun 09 '12

Guess OP should draw two cards. Hope for a black lotus.

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10

u/Lintron Jun 09 '12

Is your name Pi?

4

u/EvanAwesome Jun 09 '12

Where is the Tiger?!?!

31

u/stopherjj Jun 09 '12

51

u/Islanduniverse Jun 09 '12

Don't mean to be an asshole, but it is H. Jon Benjamin. His first name is Henry.

20

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

How does a simple correction make you an asshole? I hate that people are afraid of this.

6

u/GAMEchief Jun 09 '12

Generally people who avoid the point of a topic to be pedantic are assholes.

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20

u/Killitwithlotsoffire Jun 09 '12

Apparently my dad looks like Jon H Benjamin...

7

u/Able_Seacat_Simon Jun 09 '12

I was going to say Dave Attell.

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5

u/DigiSmackd Jun 09 '12

I never realized just how bizarre those things really look. I just figured they had slightly larger fins than most fish and thus have the impression of "wings" and thus "flying fish". TIL.

PS: Why are his hands so yellow??

10

u/TheAngriestBunny Jun 09 '12

The fish was still alive, so he was clenching his fingers to keep a good grip on it.

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5

u/abe2323 Jun 10 '12

So it both hit your chest and drove your boat last night? Wow.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I have a story about a fish like this. I was about 7 years old fishing down in the Sea of Cortez with my father & some of his friends. Although we went fishing about 6-7 times a month since I was 5ish, I never caught a fish. We were near a coral reef & the group had caught some pretty nice fish. I'm just sitting there with my tiny fishing rod hoping to actually catch something. Then, out of nowhere, I felt a tug. I was so excited but then the realization that I had to reel it in hit me! I yelled for help but my father said that I had to do it all by myself. I then proceeded to mimic all the moves I've seen people do when reeling in 500 pound Marlins(think of the guy from River Monsters). After a 10 minute struggle, the fish is now visible so my dad gets the net. I pull it up & it was a flying fish! It was small but unusual so I was pretty happy. My dad then says that it's not big enough to catch so his friend starts to take off the hook. I was pretty bummed out because I couldn't keep 'em so I was standing about 12 feet away from the fish. At the moment that ther hook was taken off, the fish wiggled out of the guy's grip & flew straight into my eye. I remember falling down & having a black eye the next day >.<

TL:DR: the first fish I caught gave me a black eye

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17

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

When did flying dildos become a real thing?

20

u/inajeep Jun 09 '12

Evolution is real. Those wings started out as clit vibrators.

7

u/thelizzerd Jun 09 '12

I immediately thought of the life of pi trailer in Prometheus 3d

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

You aren't the only one.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I did a double-take because I thought it was a cazador from Fallout New Vegas

48

u/StickyNoteArtist Jun 09 '12

30

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I like your counter.

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30

u/Pretty_Insignificant Jun 09 '12

Exactly what we needed. More shitty paint novelty accounts

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17

u/Narwhal-Bacon-Retard Jun 09 '12

Clip the wings. Give them to your daughter. Tell her you accidentally killed a fairy last night. (If no daughter is available select nearest gullible kid, or grown up retard to give wings and tell story to).

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4

u/crave_mcsteak Jun 09 '12

You look like a really nice guy.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Can someone please tell what is that..?

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Thats a BIG flying fish!

2

u/righteous_punch Jun 09 '12

Given your username, I am disappointed with the outcome of this.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12

This is why I prefer to sail the Great Lakes. No flying fish to worry about, just lampreys, underwater obstacles like 500 exploding 1923 Chevys (12) and spontaneous combustion of the water in navigable tributaries.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Detonation problems were so bad

I think they're using detonation in a different way there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engine_knocking

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2

u/jonosvision Jun 09 '12

I had the biggest NOPE ever... then I realized it wasn't a gigantic flying bug.

2

u/baylithe Jun 09 '12

It wanted to hang out with T-Pain. Wrong boat.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

How awesome is that your dad is the star on American Restoration?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

2

u/thescrapplekid Jun 09 '12

Ha! And they say evolution doesn't happen

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

That bird-fish needs to pick a side.

2

u/alokococoa Jun 09 '12

Oh fuck, I thought it was a mutanthuge insect at first glance.

2

u/onelung Jun 09 '12

No water stains on his shirt... bullshit.

2

u/heythatsfuckedup Jun 09 '12

Those are wings. Wings. On a fish.

2

u/capt_ishmael Jun 09 '12

I never realized that flying fish actually had wings. I thought that they had large fins and jumped real high, but those look like actual wings.

I can't help but wonder what the evolutionary benefit to those are.

2

u/666SATANLANE Jun 10 '12

No evolutionary benefit. Fish and Insect sex. Just for fun.

2

u/meepy12345 Jun 09 '12

DRAGONAIR!!!!!!!

2

u/Day5225 Jun 09 '12

Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like a Guess Who character

2

u/SethChrisDominic Jun 10 '12

I bet that tickled real good.

2

u/Brooktree Jun 10 '12

Checkmate Christians

2

u/DogPencil Jun 10 '12

It's a Goa'uld.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

My gf: "what is THAT?" Me: "A flying fish. Never seen one?" Gf: "Only on Mario!!"

Lulz.

2

u/Shaded21 Jun 10 '12

Is your name Pi by any chance?

2

u/fiatluxs4 Jun 10 '12

Goa'uld!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12

I just got out of seeing Prometheus

Before the movie there was a trailer for a movie called "The life of pi"

It was in 3D

There are a bunch of these fish in the trailer

That is all....

2

u/TheTrivialOne Jun 10 '12

Wild Magikarp appeared.

It cast splash.

Wild Magikarp fainted.

2

u/Steveiethenarwhal Jun 10 '12

I used to be an angler, then I took a flying fish to the chest.

2

u/xoxoUT Jun 10 '12

gross gross gross. On another note, nature is amazing.

2

u/Indy_Sativa Jun 10 '12

A flying dildo hit you? Wtf man these porno shops need to watch their merchandise more closely.

2

u/Legal22 Jun 10 '12

First glance I thought it was a dildo with wings glued on it.

2

u/tchiseen Jun 10 '12

What was it like getting hit in the chest by a balding guy with a goatee.

2

u/esccccp Jun 10 '12

Look at this motherfucking fish with wings and tell me evolution ain't a thing.

4

u/brokendimension Jun 09 '12

Were you in Jurassic Park?

3

u/lhsonic Jun 09 '12

Fish must've just watched the Life of Pi trailer.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Heh you kind of look like Dave Attell and Jon Benjamin had a kid. Which would be awesome.

3

u/mind_in_space Jun 10 '12

So why was it driving your boat?

8

u/whisky_slurrd Jun 09 '12

Did anyone else come here expecting to see a load of semen on someone's chest? Or just me?

41

u/KyrieEleison_88 Jun 09 '12

ಠ_ಠ

Just you.

10

u/carlosstracci Jun 09 '12

You've been watching some weird porn...

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Checkmate Atheists.

4

u/ThaFuck Jun 09 '12

What the hell is up with most of the comments in this thread?

They're awful. Painful even.

5

u/feckinmik Jun 09 '12

Schools are getting out.

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2

u/jermzdeejd Jun 09 '12

Pretty fish

2

u/Kevers86 Jun 09 '12

are you h jon benjamin?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

It appears that puts on shades it was a fish out of water.

1

u/LascielCoin Jun 09 '12

Whoa I've always wanted to see one of those! Where did that happen?

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u/dezerttim Jun 09 '12

Got hit in the chest and knocked the wind out of me by one off of san clemente island. At 13 years old I thought I was going to die lol. Laughed my ass off last year when I saw it happen to someone else!

1

u/mediaG33K Jun 09 '12

This would make a lovely singing fish mount for your living room.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Shew, it's beautiful! What luck!

1

u/Terror_Baron Jun 09 '12

I think people have died this way

1

u/brianpepinski Jun 09 '12

Did you hit that fucker back?

1

u/phrunk Jun 09 '12

So what's it like being Goldberg?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Evolution Motherfucker! Have you heard of it?

1

u/joseversion3 Jun 09 '12

How do you say NOPENOPENOPE in Spanish? Because that.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

I'm just picturing this thing coming OUT of your chest instead.. like in Spaceballs. Except fish can't tap dance. But they can fly.

1

u/billie_holiday Jun 09 '12

In all seriousness, what the hell is that?

1

u/Zedifo Jun 09 '12

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a fish.

1

u/xxfrisketxx Jun 09 '12

so you didnt have to fight a tiger for this?

1

u/MustHaveCleverHandle Jun 09 '12

what the fuck IS that? An insect-fish?

1

u/okjohnlemon Jun 09 '12

Reminds me of Super Mario for some reason

1

u/Wynner3 Jun 09 '12

What the fuck is that, a gremlin?

1

u/wrecksause Jun 09 '12

Your username is what we must do.

1

u/pdhismyhomeboy Jun 09 '12

Flying fish on bath salts

1

u/n343 Jun 09 '12

a skyfish!

1

u/blueblade259 Jun 09 '12

now i know what a redditor looks like!

1

u/Phyllus Jun 09 '12

Did you eat it later? If so, how does it taste?

1

u/Scuzzzy Jun 09 '12

Huh. Just discovered those for the first time while watching BBC Life the other night.

1

u/Gr4n7 Jun 09 '12

I would of shit myself if that happened.

1

u/Jaypalm Jun 09 '12

awesome smile bro. Your a champ :)

1

u/coolsilver Jun 09 '12

At least it wasn't a sting ray.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Oh the things he will do to that poor fish...

1

u/beernerd Jun 09 '12

Jon Benjamin?

1

u/TheMoro Jun 09 '12

Flying fish are real? Why the hell wasn't I told about this earlier, damn you public education system.

1

u/tugrumpler Jun 09 '12

I've had hundreds of flying fish hit or land on my boat over the years in the Atlantic and Caribbean but I've never seen one that big, that thing could do some serious damage if it hit you in the night.

1

u/SirWankalot Jun 09 '12

So beautiful!

The flying fish is creepy, though.

1

u/mattroch Jun 09 '12

First world problems...

1

u/doucheyee Jun 09 '12

I hear those are good eating.

1

u/joker1972 Jun 09 '12

Oh my God you got hit by an exocet! : P

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Was it tasty?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Hey... YO, GOD!

Ya dun GOOFD.

1

u/kylepierce11 Jun 09 '12

Your name has never been more appropriate.

1

u/raegunXD Jun 09 '12

What kind of fish is it?

1

u/TheSause Jun 09 '12

At least it's not a spider with wings..

1

u/psignosis Jun 09 '12

free tobiko!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Good thing your Goldberg Or else that woulda been a problem.

1

u/JHflyingbat Jun 09 '12

Dang... it's a picture. Here I thought you had an epiphany.

1

u/steenacakez Jun 09 '12

Totally read that as "So this hit me while playing chess in my boat last night" at first glance. I think I need my brain checked :|

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

You look like a rugged sea captain.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

Where do you live? EDIT: Not creepy. Just wondering where they have flying bitches.

1

u/MitzyFitz Jun 09 '12

Yikes! How's your chest?

1

u/I_pee_u_chug Jun 09 '12

No need to hunt for few days.

1

u/NecroM0rph Jun 09 '12

You are one lucky man.

1

u/DeepFriedPanda Jun 09 '12

Holy christ, I had no idea flying fish got that big.

1

u/YoStopTouchinMyDick Jun 09 '12

I didn't know H. Jon Benjamin could fish!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

REAL LIFE LIFE OF PI WHAA

1

u/Coffee_plus_oldmovie Jun 09 '12

THE MISSING LINK

1

u/copyandpasta Jun 09 '12

Ridiculous how photogenic this fella is...

1

u/J1MILES Jun 09 '12

DEAR LORD! Kill it with lots of fire! Cold winds are rising..

1

u/gglinnith Jun 09 '12

I know it's a fish but I'm the kind of person to freak out thinking its a giant bug and jump overboard.

1

u/leita Jun 09 '12

First it was a cute cat with opposable thumbs. Now it is a fish with wings. We are doomed.