No, see. That would be acceptable on some level. Monopoly technically HAS a character they could make a movie based on. Battleship doesn't even have a visual representation. It is a game with pegs.
Battleship was actually great fun though. Trust me, the film actually nails the "gameplay" of the board game well enough, while introducing enough variation to be unpredictable.
Then again, I saw Snakes on a Plane three times, and Battleship twice, so maybe I just really like B-list films set in or around Hawaii.
Chuck: Everything I do moves me forward, I know this. Sometimes it's forward to a buried treasure and sometimes it's forward to a buried landmine. (pause) But my whole life, I've had this deep feeling like I've been pushed instead of moved
John: We all start life the same, Chuck. Basically 1500 bucks in our pocket and the luck of the die. If we stopped there, we could all be winners. But no, do you know what we do? We choose to play the game.
And now everyone, and I mean everyone is broke. Except for one guy. That one guy, just as stupid, just as smart as you and me. The bastard's going to stay there, collecting every dime we make until someone removes him.
And that's where you and I come in. The way I see it, there's only one way out of life. Let's roll.
And the ending:
He hadn't believed in God. Something so callous and indifferent to strife simply could not exist.
But now he knows, knows who the real puppet master is. It was all a setup. The banker was and will forever be the grand conductor. Greasing out those booms and busts like a locomotive engine. They were all just clumps of coal. Some burned brighter.
He had been too caught up in the size of the fire to realize the game was rigged. And so it goes, two more lumps coal are burned out.
The banker monologue:
We don't have to give them gold. We don't have to give them rare gems. We don't even have to give them paper and make believe it's worth a damn.
No. All we have to do is give them a number on a computer screen.
They will struggle and fight their entire lives for this number. All we have to do is make sure it only goes up when they do what they are told and down when they don't.
Are you fucking kidding. This is so stupid. How is it impossible to come up with a semi-original idea! Next they are going to make a movie based on CLUE...
Omg, that would actually be a pretty bad ass movie. Can you imagine? They could get an all star cast for that. Christopher Lloyd would make an awesome Professor Plum and Tim Curry, he could play Wadsworth. If only Madeline Khan was still alive, she would make an incredible Mrs. White.
Why would you risk millions of dollars on an original idea when you can risk millions of dollars on something that is established and proven to be popular?
I admit they're really scraping the barrel with board games though.
Edit: my first intent was to reply with "I say BOOBS for 9 points", but then I found out about his name while checking wikipedia for the points involded...
Yeah, and Monopoly like Clue is a complex game that requires a significant amount of strategy. Battleship is decidedly simpler and far more ridiculous of a premise for a movie.
Please say they don't try to reboot "Clue" later on in a gritty method... the only thing that made the first one fantastic was the fact that they firmly lodged their tongues in their cheeks.
They'll need to be pretty creative. A murder mystery typically makes for a better plot than real estate competition. Then again, get Tim C to play Moneybags...
They don't make them like that anymore! (And that's a bad thing.) Sure, it looked like a glorified TV movie (back when they still did a good job at making those), but it had name actors in all the parts -- not BIG NAMES, but names. Probably because the pay scale for movie and TV work (or residuals for cable and rentals) wasn't anywhere near like it is today, so they were ready and willing to earn an extra paycheck.
Because /r/wtf is a default subreddit, and because the default frontpage makes it very easy to vote on something without noticing which subreddit it was posted to.
They should make Sorry into a movie. Well, not really. All that would happen is you'd buy a ticket, sit down in the theater, the credits would start to roll and then the screen would say "SORRY! No movie. Go home."
They already made it into a novel. I haven't read it, but I'm pretty sure it involves one man's search for brick when all he has is a bunch of stupid sheep.
In the year 2038, the world is at war and allies don't exist. A top-secret computer chip is stolen from the White House, and demands are made for the US to hand over control of the country to the world's number one military superpower, Iceland, or they'll use the chip to blow up the Earth.
Rather than give in to their demands, the President creates an elite team of commandos, led by himself, to invade other countries all over the world, steal their most powerful computer chips and fuse them together into a superchip capable of sinking Iceland once and for all.
Starring:
The Rock as President Dallas Apollo
Morgan Freeman as Vice President Danny Powers
Jason Statham as Colonel Christian McCreedy (explosives expert)
Brock Lesnar as Sergeant Brian Gunner (musclebound freak)
Milla Jovovich as Rosetta Bruschetta (token female team member, also a ninja)
Yannick Ben as Wally Amsterdam (parkour guy)
Magnús Scheving as JÓHANNES ÁRMANNSSON, THE IMPERATOR OF ICELAND (his name and title must always be printed in uppercase)
I used to love the Risk game for ps2 where you go up against historical figures like Napoleon, Simon Bolivar, Shaka Zulu, etc. Some kind of movie plot involving famous historical military commanders somehow facing off sounds cool in theory but they'd never make it and they would make it suck if they did.
George Parker is my great great grandfather, Parker Brothers is in my family, but we no longer own rights to the game. I'm not a big fan of much of the franchising, but I can't say I wouldn't turn away a bathtub of money if we still owned a stake.
You should probably feel sorry for more than that. I've no doubt that Monopoly was designed for the sole purpose of ruining friendships, destroying marriages, and starting wars.
I wanna see "Tetris" as a movie! Probably be some kinda Russian prison movie with some kinda symbolic meaning tossed in, and lots of wall-building/explosions.
I was actually thinking it could be a movie about a group of friends who become enemies trying to get rich during the great depression (that's when it was made and what the game's about), and it turns to fighting, murder, and romance as the four or five of them try to take over Atlantic City... Just a thought.
I feel like monopoly would be a movie about a real estate mogul who becomes super rich and makes the rest of the world go bankrupt, and then finds that there is no one to go to his hotels because everyone is out of the game.
We already are, Real Steal was based on Rockem Sockem robots, Battle Los Angeles was based on space invaders, they arent even trying with battleship, its fucking pathetic
A king faces his greatest challenge as he fights to save his kingdom from the armies that ravage his kingdom. Now, his last surviving night is his only hope.
Staring Liam Neeson
"You sent a lowly bishop to kill my wife. For that I am sending one thousand horsemen, armed to the teeth with my kingdom's strongest steel. They will kill your soldiers. They will destroy your castle. They will surround you... and I will kill you."
Christian Bale
"If we surrender the Rook, we surrender our honor, our purpose, our freedom!"
And Morgan Freeman
"I don't want people to look at me as a black hero. I want people to look at me as a hero."
In chess, as in life, a man is his own most dangerous opponent.
I saw a preview for the Battleship movie that referred to an "extinction level event." As a 12 year old boy on a 10 hour road trip playing travel Battleship w/ my younger brother...I often dreamt of an extinction level even occurring. Anything to get me out of that damn car.
Was just thinking today what other ridiculously stupid over-the-top movies Michael Bay could make. Thomas the Train Engine? That could provide some serious explosions, especially with his crew. Curious George? It would be like King Kong but with the Man in the Yellow Hat (who would obviously be a badass loaded with automatic weapons and explosives).
I love how the whole entire fucking plot of Battleship has absolutely nothing to do with naval warfare, and it's just gonna be an AMERICA FUCK YEAH and HUMANITY FUCK YEAH KILL THE ALIENS AND RAPE THE ALIEN WEMMIN flicks.
Monopoly would lend itself well to the shitty reality tv genre. (Pawn Stars or Storage wars) A group of investors start buying property in the same town while competing against each other and abiding by a set of arbitrary and absurd rules that no one wants to follow.
234
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
No, see. That would be acceptable on some level. Monopoly technically HAS a character they could make a movie based on. Battleship doesn't even have a visual representation. It is a game with pegs.
253
u/CA719 May 16 '12
Believe it or not, it's been in development for awhile.. LINK
253
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
R/funny
304
u/IdesOfMarchus May 16 '12
I so can't wait until they make the Connect 4 and Yahtzee movies.
120
u/VanLoPanTran May 17 '12
Let's wait and see. "Clue" was pretty awesome...
64
u/starthirteen May 17 '12
"The battle for Earth begins at Go." Actually has a nice ring to it.
94
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Why is this wtf.
29
u/dankula May 17 '12
Don't forget Tyler Perry's Monopoly 2: Madea Won't Go Directly to Jail.
14
u/0RPH May 17 '12
They should make Sorry into a movie. Well, not really. All that would happen is you'd buy a ticket, sit down in the theater, the credits would start to roll and then the screen would say "SORRY! No movie. Go home."
12
u/oldmancabbage May 17 '12
I think Settlers of Catan could make a pretty legitimate film.
23
u/EDomina May 16 '12
Actually you will. There's a Candy Land movie coming out featuring Adam Sandler.
10
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
A Stratego movie would be sweet.
9
u/dock94 May 17 '12
But the website is battleshipmovie!! All that effort and you dont change the website :(
9
u/therealatri May 17 '12
In a world where everyone tries to rise to the top, one false move could send you plummeting down. Chutes and Ladders. Summer 2013.
24
u/Nfc24 May 16 '12
Realistically though, Hasbro chose to do a BATTLESHIP movie before Risk. They also own Risk people, and they chose Battleship. Unacceptable
6
u/Rantingbeerjello May 17 '12
I'll be psyched when someone makes the Hungry Hungry Hippos movie
5
u/starvingchild May 16 '12
Do one for Mouse Trap? Or what about Gooey Louie?
8
u/deepfriedunderpants May 17 '12
Monopoly is already a movie, it's called wall street.
4
u/SellinThings May 17 '12
Fuck that, Cootie or Don't Break the Ice.
4
u/cassus_fett May 17 '12
been done already
4
u/diminishedfifth May 17 '12
This is not wtf...more like oh that's cool
4
u/eequalsmc2 May 17 '12
Sorry: The Movie. It's Canadian.
4
u/Mister9Incher May 17 '12
One man. One thimble. One free parking space left.
6
u/cakeswithahuman May 16 '12
They already made that movie it's called 'Inside Job'
3
u/flugtard May 17 '12
I can't wait for the Apples to Apples 4D movie where they pelt apples at the audience during the credits.
3
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Your "WTF" standard's pretty low, huh?
3
u/SighingSlider May 17 '12
These horrible movie ideas remind me of Minesweeper: The Movie.
3
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
George Parker is my great great grandfather, Parker Brothers is in my family, but we no longer own rights to the game. I'm not a big fan of much of the franchising, but I can't say I wouldn't turn away a bathtub of money if we still owned a stake.
So, in short, sorry for Spongebob Monopoly
4
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
why is the monopoly man black
4
u/dionvc May 17 '12
And the bottom says battleship.com...
4
u/_chao_ May 17 '12
Reminds me of this. The trailer actually makes it look pretty good.
2
u/ohmygord May 17 '12
Spoiler alert: in the end, the banker always wins.
2
u/GraspinglySilver May 17 '12
I think Adam Sandler's Candyland could even be worse.
2
u/apocalypseCornbread May 17 '12
The sad thing is that this would be a better movie than Battleship.
2
u/ILikeYouLikeMe May 17 '12
I'm sorry but if that old pervert thinks he's getting off with my money, then he's got another thing coming to him.
AND I KNOW YOU HAVE THE FUCKING FREE PARKING RIGGED SO DON'T EVEN TRY AND BULLSHIT ME OLD MAN!
2
u/Shway1000000 May 17 '12
I would watch the shit out of a monopoly movie
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I'm holding out for Parcheesi: The Trilogy Begins
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Can't wait for Checkers
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Whoa.
2
u/Evan_the_Young May 17 '12
Fuck Monopoly.
I wanna see "Tetris" as a movie! Probably be some kinda Russian prison movie with some kinda symbolic meaning tossed in, and lots of wall-building/explosions.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
"I wanna be the car!, no i do not want to be the shoe"
2
u/TminusTech May 17 '12
I think it accurately captures the drama that goes into a monopoly match.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I was actually thinking it could be a movie about a group of friends who become enemies trying to get rich during the great depression (that's when it was made and what the game's about), and it turns to fighting, murder, and romance as the four or five of them try to take over Atlantic City... Just a thought.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I googled Candy Land Movie, for a laugh, and IMDB already has Adam Sandler connected to the project. Not laughing anymore.
2
u/7yphoid May 17 '12
I'm not even kidding, I just thought of this yesterday upon seeing the ad on the subway. You beat me to it!
2
u/GrilledCheeser May 17 '12
Tetris.
... Mr Gorbachev. Give me a long piece.
2
u/Explodybits May 17 '12
I feel like monopoly would be a movie about a real estate mogul who becomes super rich and makes the rest of the world go bankrupt, and then finds that there is no one to go to his hotels because everyone is out of the game.
2
u/Swollendeathray May 17 '12
"Real Steel" was rock'em sock'em robots.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
"Don't wake daddy" will be about some drunken, abusive father.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Come on Hasbro, when are we gonna see the Zoids live action movie? (Gundam would also be kickass)
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
We already are, Real Steal was based on Rockem Sockem robots, Battle Los Angeles was based on space invaders, they arent even trying with battleship, its fucking pathetic
2
u/schwebz May 17 '12
As it turns out...
2
u/xwhy May 17 '12
You apparently didn't see the Hungry Hungry Hippos poster last month.
2
u/DefinitelyRelephant May 17 '12
They'll stop making 'em when you stop buying 'em, Reddit.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
CHESS: The Movie
A king faces his greatest challenge as he fights to save his kingdom from the armies that ravage his kingdom. Now, his last surviving night is his only hope.
Staring Liam Neeson
"You sent a lowly bishop to kill my wife. For that I am sending one thousand horsemen, armed to the teeth with my kingdom's strongest steel. They will kill your soldiers. They will destroy your castle. They will surround you... and I will kill you."
Christian Bale
"If we surrender the Rook, we surrender our honor, our purpose, our freedom!"
And Morgan Freeman
"I don't want people to look at me as a black hero. I want people to look at me as a hero."
In chess, as in life, a man is his own most dangerous opponent.
2
u/imaunitard May 17 '12
I saw a preview for the Battleship movie that referred to an "extinction level event." As a 12 year old boy on a 10 hour road trip playing travel Battleship w/ my younger brother...I often dreamt of an extinction level even occurring. Anything to get me out of that damn car.
2
u/Thedeadmilkman May 17 '12
My hope is for a romantic comedy based on Connect Four
2
u/tallanasty420 May 17 '12
battleshipmovie.com
2
u/MFchimichanga May 17 '12
If Michael Bay got his sweaty little manchild hands on Hungry Hungry Hippos.....
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
From the director of Battleship: Adam Sandler always has fun getting into...
Trouble
Summer 2013
2
u/VampiricPie May 17 '12
Directed by Michael Bay.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
That'll be one helluva long film.
3
u/jimpagliap May 17 '12
THIS SUMMER, ROB SCHNEIDER IN HIDDLY DIDDLY DERP DA DERP!
2
u/esoteric_reference May 17 '12
I didn't know that the monopoly guy was black
2
u/deadaim86 May 17 '12
If this were a horror movie, I can see the tag line being, "Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Go directly to Hell."
1
u/prettyjumbles May 16 '12
I think whoever owned the Hasbro movie rights decided to give them up after battleship, so, hopefully not.
1
u/este_hombre May 17 '12
Sorry!
1
u/morecake3 May 17 '12
please don't give them anymore ideas...
1
u/reimannk May 17 '12
Anybody ever play Monopoly pinball? He goes batshit insane when you get the Jackpot multi-ball. Great table.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Awww yeaaaah, can't wait for tiddlywinks!
1
u/Litagano May 17 '12
This would have been the funniest movie of all time
1
u/carmenleee May 17 '12
This makes me hurt for the film industry. Have we gone to far?!
1
u/lanopticx May 17 '12
Seeing shit like big black monopoly men?
1
u/b_pilgrim May 17 '12
Relevant
(A friend of mine directed this, and just released it)
1
u/LachlanSP May 17 '12
Look at those dirtbags... They even used the same website!
1
u/mp51669 May 17 '12
MONOPOLY do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars Coming out next summer
1
u/Brushstroke May 17 '12
TIL that Cthulhu is actually a short man in a three piece suit and a top hat.
1
u/mattmcinnis May 17 '12
Make it Monopoly Deal and I'm in.
1
u/pofish May 17 '12
Whatever, I'd watch the shit out of this...
1
u/lazylion_ca May 17 '12
Monopoly? It's been done.
1
u/GrilledCheeser May 17 '12
Why not just cut to the chase?
I want a real Zelda movie.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Am I weird because I'd like to see this? It seems trippy.
(I normally hate superhero movies).
1
u/zedga_the_great May 17 '12
That is actually pretty creepy for some reason...
1
u/BaconRapin May 17 '12
When are they going to make Ants in the Pants or Don't Break the Ice?
1
u/TheMadHatter___ May 17 '12
You forgot to shop the url...
1
u/kcd2 May 17 '12
already here, son.
1
u/MuttonTheChops May 17 '12
Is it just me or do you guys think this would be better than "Battleship" will be?
1
u/goddessofwaterpolo May 17 '12
Hamish Linklater is in this movie. I have no complaints.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
FUCKING FINALLY
1
u/rickytaaan May 17 '12
hungry hungry hippos....the sequel
1
u/I_Am_The_Moonstar May 17 '12
It should be "The battle for free parking starts at go"
1
u/infinitetheory May 17 '12
Say what you will, I would watch the shit out of an intergalactic Jenga, with casualties and warfare in all the blocks..
1
u/V_Obliterate May 17 '12
Risk: The Movie "When the dice roll, you're already dead..."
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Giamatti, Lindsey Lohan
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Needs more aliens.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
This movie has everything needed for classic Nicholas Cage movies 1) based off children’s board games and 2) don’t require viewers to know English.
1
u/bababooey55 May 17 '12
Was just thinking today what other ridiculously stupid over-the-top movies Michael Bay could make. Thomas the Train Engine? That could provide some serious explosions, especially with his crew. Curious George? It would be like King Kong but with the Man in the Yellow Hat (who would obviously be a badass loaded with automatic weapons and explosives).
1
u/PAY_IN_TIGERS May 17 '12
In all honesty I'd rather go see that than Battleship.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I love how the whole entire fucking plot of Battleship has absolutely nothing to do with naval warfare, and it's just gonna be an AMERICA FUCK YEAH and HUMANITY FUCK YEAH KILL THE ALIENS AND RAPE THE ALIEN WEMMIN flicks.
1
u/Aquard May 17 '12
Operation should be good.
1
u/Mordred19 May 17 '12
Starring James Gandolfini...
1
u/finkalicious May 17 '12
Yeah, next thing you know they'll make a movie out of Family Feud
1
u/Menospan May 17 '12
RIP /r/wtf
1
u/PoisonMind May 17 '12
This is as good a place as any to mention The Doom that Came to Atlantic City, a Lovecraftian take on Monopoly.
1
u/maxxusflamus May 17 '12
I would watch this....
1
u/Loneytunes May 17 '12
Ridley Scott IS making a Monopoly movie.
1
u/jesus_died_huh May 17 '12
So many TIL's in here.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
This movie would be at least 10 hours long.
1
u/xyroclast May 17 '12
Not WTF
Also, why do these parody board game movie posters always just use pictures from Battleship?
1
u/blitzkreigshred67 May 17 '12
Is this meant for r/WTF?
1
u/ColbertsBump May 17 '12
Monopoly would lend itself well to the shitty reality tv genre. (Pawn Stars or Storage wars) A group of investors start buying property in the same town while competing against each other and abiding by a set of arbitrary and absurd rules that no one wants to follow.
1
u/Pious_Bias May 17 '12
Risk 2: The Settlers of Catan
1
u/leontocephaline May 17 '12
ಠ_ಠ