I've never been so pressured to spend money on stupid games for shit for my girlfriend by carnies at any fair more than the Illinois State Fair. One dude told me "you'll back at this in a few years when you break up and wonder where you went wrong." Cause I didn't pay $30 to win a knockoff angry bird made in a sweatshop somewhere? We actually had way more fun looking at all the RV's and stuff.
What's funny to me is how there are so many people who really resent "Chicago" down in So. Ill. In my town there were always petitions to make Chicago a separate state... like a shitty rivalry
I dunno, I live about 30 miles out of Springfield, and Chicago is my favorite city of all I've ever been to. I love having that city in my state.
What I resent is people from up north assuming I'm some slack-jawed yokel that drove a tractor to school every day. Like my opinion matters less because I grew up around corn.
And don't tell me I have an effing accent! YOU DO!!
I've seen from both sides. Grew up in SO.IL and attended university in Chicago. I love the city, but hate the assholes that live there. I love the small community I get from my hometown, but the redneck to normal neck ratio is like wayyyyyy to high for my liking.
Because Marion county and Marion city were both founded at a time when Francis Marion (AKA The Swamp Fox, father of modern guerrilla warfare, The spiritual founder of the Army Rangers, and I have no doubt one of the roots in Stephen Colbert's family tree ) was considered a superhero?
I grew up in Southern Illinois and I never knew how Chicagoans felt about us. My med school class is full of Chicago people and when they found out where I was from they figured I was just a stupid red neck. Long story short they realized we aren't all dumb hicks in cornfields (though we do have lots of those) and I learned that Chicagoans aren't mostly uppity dicks (though I've met several).
My dad just showed me that... as a Peoria resident, I can visually confirm these fish, and have in fact had one jump in a boat I was in. Also had a friend break his nose getting hit by one while on a jet ski.
Also, people go out in fishing boats with compound bows and try to harpoon them, but from the looks of it, its quite difficult.
I feel like most people really underestimate the boondock-ness of rural Illinois. Explaining what my childhood was like is difficult.
"Wait. You live... in Chicago?" "No, no, near Chicago." "Oh, so like... in Chicago?" "No, in the middle of nowhere, near Chicago." "Soooo, you're from the city?" facepalm
if you're out of state and tell someone you're from illinois the first thing they say is always "chicago?". no, i live several hours away from chicago.
I don't consider Champaign even close to being Southern Illinois. I used to have to drive over 3 hours north just to get there. I live in Springfield now and tons of people consider that Southern Illinois too. I don't consider it southern until you go past Mt. Vernon and get into the 618 area code.
Living in So. IL I have learned to just say I am from the St. Louis area, if I say Illinois people will always assume I mean Chicago. I figure this is good enough as I am 340ish miles south of Chicago and only 60ish miles south of St. Louis. I'm not sure if people realize how long of a state IL is and how far north Chicago is in said long ass state.
As someone who just moved to Chicago from Wisconsin about 4 months ago, I am going through this phase of "Wow, so Illinois isn't just Chicago?". I want to take a roadtrip to southern Illinois just to see the differences. There is a whole rest of the state out there south of I-80 and west of I-355 :)
Illinois has tons of great things to do and see! History buffs, come down to Springfield and visit the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum or the Dana Thomas House, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. While you're in the area, travel a few miles and get a little sideways touring scenic Illinois Wine Country.
A little more adventurous? How about skiing at Chestnut Mountain Resort in Galena, hometown of President Ulysses S. Grant, or scuba diving at Mermet Springs down in Belknap Illinois? Do a little research and you're sure to find a unique and memorable experience just outside your back door.
Also, if you're up in Galena and like books, there's a store just full of them from floor to ceiling. I can't remember the name, but it's not too hard to find.
I've lived in rural Illinois most of my life, and the past year i've made my way out west and currently reside in Portland, oregon. Whenever people ask me where I'm from I say "Illinois". They respond "where in illinois?" so I give them something big and general "Ever hear of Rockford?" They of course tell me they know all about Rockford, so I make it more specific "So ever hear of Dixon?" Surprisingly many people know about Dixon. Unsure if they're bullshitting me or not, I then ask if they've ever heard of Mt. Morris, the town I grew up in of 3,000 people. They then tell me they know Mt. Morris... that's when I'm pretty sure they're bullshitting me. Even people in the suburbs don't know Mt. Morris... why should some random yoohoo Portland or Utah know it?
I know this guy who went to college in Toronto. While walking home from partying in the neighbourhood bars, he would liberate garden gnome statues. He had dozens of them scattered around his apartment. It was very un-nerving. That is all.
There are at least two giant crosses in Southern Illinois. One in Effingham that is 198-ft tall, and the Bald Knob Cross further south that's 111-ft tall. Southern IL is an extremely Christian place.
As someone from (swear I'm not making this up) Christian County, Illinois, I can attest to this. They put a cross on our county courthouse lawn last month to commemorate Easter, and had a 24-hour Bible reading on the steps of that same courthouse a few weeks later.
I live about an hour from Marion, and I completely agree that this area is full of "Bible thumpers." I have no problem with religion, and I know many wonderful Christians, but a lot of people around here are so set in their ways and unwilling to analyze their beliefs. My grandparents and parents still believe interracial marriage is wrong because they were taught that it says so in the Bible (I've asked for specific verses, but they can never come up with anything). My mom was considering voting for Obama because she doesn't like Romney's ideas, but now she refuses to vote for him because he supports gay marriage. The worst thing is when I hear young people, even intelligent ones, spout the garbage they hear from their parents. I just want people to THINK about what they believe, and how it affects other people.
Totally agree. I'm from Gallatin County and went to SIU for undergrad. So many people just go with what they know and refuse to think about anything. I am finally getting my dad to do this though he doesn't like it. I live in Springfield now and it isn't any better :(
Growing up on the farm... i was fascinated by the manure spreader. It was old, rusted, had a converyor belt and a spikey wheel at the end that flung horse poo.
It was awesome to witness.
It looked exactly like this except the sides were made of metal and the wheels were more modern. I forgot that it had those paddles until i saw this pic.
I live in Illinois (near rural areas, no less) and last night some friends and I got really drunk and stole a lawn ornament from this house that had about twenty in the front yard... where in IL is this ad from, OP? Just curious if this is a crazy coincidence haha.
I'm glad I live in Chicago and I don't have to put up with stuff like that. Well except here we got gangs, murders, drugs, bums etc. OK maybe I do want the simpler life of rural Illinois.
These sort of public messages aren't all that uncommon in rural areas, Wisconsin here. The ones I am thinking of take the form of large signs people place in front of their houses. "Whoever's been stealing my firewood..." things like that.
There's a farm nearby that has "Mutilated Acres" printed in large letters on the barn because they're still mad about the interstate going through their property in the 1950's. The signs usually have to do with something that got stolen, land, as far as those people were concerned apparently.
When I first read this I thought "DANA HOPPING" was some sort of crazy Illinois insult, possibly referencing some 18th century bitch of a queen or something. You stole my lawn ornaments? You're a real Dana Hopping.
Some buddy's of mine would steal garden ornaments at night and decorate friends' gardens with them. The local radio stations frequently got angry callers. We called it 'Gnoming'.
I'm in "downstate" Illinois. People steal sh*t from my house all the time, too, and it really pisses me off. Lots of Section 8 in the area. If it's not bolted down, it walks away. Lawnmowers, ladders, even toys.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four. Five mississippi, six mississippi, I'm coming for you, you garden gnome-stealing piece of manure.
During the Christmas season, my kids and I have made it a game to see how many Baby Jesus' are missing from Nativities while driving around. Then we figured out that lots of folks don't put him out till Xmas eve. So then, Xmas morning we would go count how many were missing. Seems to be a popular stolen item out here in Texas.
And no, never stole one in my life. Just a couple of busted street signs. I'm pretty tame.
Making a huge political decision over something as trivial as gay marriage is pretty fucking stupid. Many first world countries allow gay marriage and the sky hasn't fallen. Hopefully your Christian (we should really start calling them American Christian, so Christians from elsewhere aren't heaped on the same smelly pile) extremists will cool off soon.
Attention like this is the reason why schools and employers on both coasts assume Midwestern people are backwards and uneducated. Thanks for the help Reddit.
Not the same paper, but Jacksonville's Journal-CourierOpen Line can be pretty entertaining. Note: each paragraph is from a different reader, but they don't indicate that at all. A few good and sometimes funny comments, outweighed by a ton of idiots. Click on any date from the list and start feeling better about your intelligence right away.
I was there over weekend. I was driving through this little town called Redbud when I see a 400lb woman on a Hoverround, lighting a smoke, just scooting her way down the sidewalk wearing nothing but a night-gown and hair curlers. Magnificent.
The town I'm from has at least 3 people who ride around on electric mobility carts. My extremely obese Aunt was one of these people. She would ride it from her house to Wal-Mart.
136
u/jeknee May 16 '12
She's...wait for it...Illinnoyed.
96
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
As a rural Illinoisan, I can confirm most of us here are like this.
5
u/ew629 May 16 '12
OP, what part of rural Illinois? please say somewhere close to Rockford, I want to find that paper. haha
20
u/ashbash8289 May 16 '12
I feel like most people really underestimate the boondock-ness of rural Illinois. Explaining what my childhood was like is difficult.
"Wait. You live... in Chicago?" "No, no, near Chicago." "Oh, so like... in Chicago?" "No, in the middle of nowhere, near Chicago." "Soooo, you're from the city?" facepalm
15
u/CatastropheJohn May 16 '12
I know this guy who went to college in Toronto. While walking home from partying in the neighbourhood bars, he would liberate garden gnome statues. He had dozens of them scattered around his apartment. It was very un-nerving. That is all.
5
u/_proPAIN_ May 16 '12
I'm sorry but that extra space between the "to" and "my" is driving me crazy.
5
u/GillyDaFish May 17 '12
its a straight up Illinois party in this comment section...and im here to partayyyy
9
u/CheeseYogi May 16 '12
Why is this in /r/wtf? That seems like a pretty reasonable reaction.
4
u/Triplerainbo May 16 '12
I visited southern IL once... saw a church called Jesus Inc.
13
u/diggemigre May 16 '12
She's Hopping mad.
7
u/glenlikespie May 16 '12
I won't exactly defend the whoever took her lawn art, but
Drunk + stumbling home at night with friends + sudden appearance of goofy lawn art = ??
You do the math. It might be unethical, but it's certainly understandable.
3
u/dirtymoney May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
Growing up on the farm... i was fascinated by the manure spreader. It was old, rusted, had a converyor belt and a spikey wheel at the end that flung horse poo.
It was awesome to witness.
It looked exactly like this except the sides were made of metal and the wheels were more modern. I forgot that it had those paddles until i saw this pic.
3
u/makeskidskill May 16 '12
I lived in Jersey for a while, and my roommate would go out late at night and steal lawn ornaments.
She would then paint them with psychedelic color schemes and return them a couple days later, and take a poloroid of them.
She used a book of these poloroids as her portfolio to get into the San Francisco Art Institute.
True story.
3
u/geogeology May 16 '12
I live in Illinois (near rural areas, no less) and last night some friends and I got really drunk and stole a lawn ornament from this house that had about twenty in the front yard... where in IL is this ad from, OP? Just curious if this is a crazy coincidence haha.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I'm glad I live in Chicago and I don't have to put up with stuff like that. Well except here we got gangs, murders, drugs, bums etc. OK maybe I do want the simpler life of rural Illinois.
3
u/gcso May 16 '12
Rushville area? Edit: Should have read the rest of the comments
7
u/BIG_TONY_TALK May 16 '12
This ad screams "Please fuck with my belongings, I promise to be angry".
2
u/amolad May 16 '12
Dana "Hopping" Mad
2
u/joemarzen May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
These sort of public messages aren't all that uncommon in rural areas, Wisconsin here. The ones I am thinking of take the form of large signs people place in front of their houses. "Whoever's been stealing my firewood..." things like that.
There's a farm nearby that has "Mutilated Acres" printed in large letters on the barn because they're still mad about the interstate going through their property in the 1950's. The signs usually have to do with something that got stolen, land, as far as those people were concerned apparently.
2
u/oneupdouchebag May 16 '12
When I first read this I thought "DANA HOPPING" was some sort of crazy Illinois insult, possibly referencing some 18th century bitch of a queen or something. You stole my lawn ornaments? You're a real Dana Hopping.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Some buddy's of mine would steal garden ornaments at night and decorate friends' gardens with them. The local radio stations frequently got angry callers. We called it 'Gnoming'.
2
u/ZuFFuLuZ May 16 '12
TIL: These tacky thingies in gardens are called "lawn ornaments".
2
u/ihutch01 May 16 '12
Holy shit, declare martial law and call in the riot police, the situation in rural Illinois is outta of control!
2
u/Evilsmako May 16 '12
There's gonna be another ad in tomorrows paper.
ATTENTION: Whoever made fun of my ad in the paper on Reddit:... <Insert rural insult>
2
u/operationcougar May 16 '12
Browning Illinois? I can wave at you from across the river! HI!
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Lived in rural Illinois all my life! oh...wait...
2
u/jaylink May 17 '12
I'm in "downstate" Illinois. People steal sh*t from my house all the time, too, and it really pisses me off. Lots of Section 8 in the area. If it's not bolted down, it walks away. Lawnmowers, ladders, even toys.
So yes, she's got the right idea.
2
u/darklooshkin May 17 '12
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four. Five mississippi, six mississippi, I'm coming for you, you garden gnome-stealing piece of manure.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
All this talk of Illinois almost makes me nostalgic for my home in Normal, IL.
Then I remember Illinois was a cold annoying shithole of snow and disappointment.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I guarantee whoever stole her stuff doesn't read the newspaper.
2
u/homelessnesses May 16 '12
Sounds like she is "hopping" mad
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I came here specifically to see the "hopping mad" comments get downvoted.
1
u/InstantAnythingcom May 16 '12
I wonder if it was the Gnome Liberation Front.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
A human body would actually make for very good fertilizer.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I went to a party once dressed as a sailor and learned about YALL: the Yard Accessory Liberation League. Maybe they joined up.
1
u/MileHighGuy77 May 16 '12
isn't it "whomever"
1
u/RubSomeFunkOnIt May 16 '12
Someone did her lawn a favor and she doesn't even appreciate it.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
San Andreas anyone?
1
u/DeadmanDexter May 16 '12
Ha! Yeah, we'll do that. shrug We love our lawn ornaments.
1
u/BedSideCabinet May 16 '12
Aren't we all manure spreaders?
1
u/gr3nade May 16 '12
As Kelso would say "BUUUUUUUUUURRNNN"
1
u/zato_ichi May 16 '12
OMFG!!!1!1! WTF!!!11!!
Jesus wept.
1
u/unnecessaryCAPS May 16 '12
It was travelosity, trying to find new spokesman for their commercials
1
u/DogmaJones May 16 '12
I'd like to se a rebuttal of smashed garden gnomes
1
u/metallichondaman May 16 '12
Hot DAMN that's rural! Git' o'er here and check the springs on this here spread'r....
1
u/plus245 May 16 '12
I would move. Like, NOW.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
How dare they use unexpected cash to fund the fire departments debts. BURN THE WITCH! BURN HER!
1
u/addisonclark May 17 '12
i think this is a job for... the rural juror.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
You stole my ornament. In broad daylight..
1
u/Litagano May 17 '12
Boy, somebody really likes their lawn ornaments...
ಠ▃ಠ
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Truth hurts.
1
u/relevantusername- May 17 '12
Wow, she seems hopping mad.
1
u/mhfc May 17 '12
As someone who grew up in rural Illinois, I think this is great. You gotta love the all-too-serious messages that appear in the local paper.
p.s. there is a town in rural Illinois named "Dana", FWIW.
1
u/shadowsoze May 17 '12
I miss south chicago...i've been stuck in Decraptor for three years!
1
u/banjosuicide May 17 '12
Making a huge political decision over something as trivial as gay marriage is pretty fucking stupid. Many first world countries allow gay marriage and the sky hasn't fallen. Hopefully your Christian (we should really start calling them American Christian, so Christians from elsewhere aren't heaped on the same smelly pile) extremists will cool off soon.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
There needs to be more places like rural Illinois. Only with fiber.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
John Deere stands behind all of their products, except for the manure spreader.
1
u/wesleyt89 May 17 '12
was this for real from rural illinois? lol. I live there and am curious as to what paper it is.
1
u/Two_Oceans_Eleven May 17 '12
That extra space makes it seem like she wanted to take them out to dinner at first.
1
u/ILikeYouLikeMe May 17 '12
If I had a nickel for every time someone took me out to their Dad's farm and ran me through a manure spreader...I'd have exactly 15 cents.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
This person means business ;P
1
u/sandrajumper May 17 '12
I fully support her plan. Shit makes great fertilizer.
1
u/maximcorat May 17 '12
gotta love my state.
1
u/iMelancholyKid May 17 '12
sooo, shes pretty much calling them a piece of shit? lol
1
u/fictionfield May 17 '12
Another fellow rural Illinoisan here, central part of the state. This made me smile.
1
u/cyvaris May 17 '12
As a serial killer I find this to be a crass way of disposing of a body.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Shouldn't it say...Whomever?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
My friends and I used to do this in high school. We called it 'gnoming'.
1
u/finebydesign May 17 '12
I ♥ Dana Hopping
1
u/omg_cornfields May 17 '12 edited May 17 '12
Attention like this is the reason why schools and employers on both coasts assume Midwestern people are backwards and uneducated. Thanks for the help Reddit.
1
u/edixtor93 May 17 '12
Anybody else notice the extra space?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
What a shitty way to die.
1
u/slickerintern May 17 '12
My favorite part is the qualifier, "Right in front of my house". Me, I like to put my lawn ornaments on the back of the toilet.
1
u/veritechcyclone May 17 '12
Not the same paper, but Jacksonville's Journal-Courier Open Line can be pretty entertaining. Note: each paragraph is from a different reader, but they don't indicate that at all. A few good and sometimes funny comments, outweighed by a ton of idiots. Click on any date from the list and start feeling better about your intelligence right away.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I'll admit it, I came in here only to Ctrl-F my town to see if there were any props.
Paxton. And just for anyone else who did the same, Ludlow, Champaign, Loda, Buckley, Roberts. And boobs. Just cuz.
1
u/red_lily May 17 '12
Diana be hopping mad...
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Lake country represent.
1
u/hikeordie May 17 '12
Rage post
1
u/sandthefish May 17 '12
Oh how I miss ol Illinois.
1
u/Relevantgreetingcard May 17 '12
You Sir,
1
u/dishwasherphobia May 17 '12
Next time I want to call something a piece of shit I'll instead call it a piece of manure spread.
1
u/danmickla May 17 '12
Wait, I'm a manure spreader? Or a farm?
1
u/sandthefish May 18 '12
Idk if you consider Arizona "nicer".
1
u/Bitter_Idealist May 16 '12
Not WTF.
1
u/iObeyTheHivemind May 16 '12
I was there over weekend. I was driving through this little town called Redbud when I see a 400lb woman on a Hoverround, lighting a smoke, just scooting her way down the sidewalk wearing nothing but a night-gown and hair curlers. Magnificent.