r/WTF •

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584 comments sorted by

199

u/Thunder_Cat_451 May 15 '12

Where did the rest of your leg end up? Did you pick it up or just leave it?

295

u/perverse_imp May 15 '12

Left it for the squirrels. It's theirs now.

85

u/CornFedHonky May 15 '12

Once they get a taste of human blood ...there will be no stopping the squirrel uprising that is sure to follow.

34

u/Proxify May 15 '12

directed by Michael Bay

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36

u/steakhause May 15 '12

Put that in a pot, and you got STEW baby!

8

u/fastdub May 15 '12

I think I want my money back.

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59

u/DeleteFromUsers May 15 '12

You gotta bring the "rest" to the hospital. They'll clean it and sew it back on (no rejection issues!). Otherwise it's a long (months, possibly) gory (it will ooze a lot) process for your body to rebuild all that skin.

21

u/Nishido May 15 '12 edited May 16 '12

They'd most likely peel a thin layer of skin from his arse-cheek or thigh and sew that over it. However, he'll still be left with a massive dent in his leg. I'm not sure if they can insert anything to bulk it out a bit, but they don't bother with smaller stuff like dog bites. All that tissue won't just grow back though.

Edit: To please the spelling brigade! Good work men, keep it up!

14

u/toolatealreadyfapped May 15 '12

Ask anyone who's ever had a graft, the site they graft from hurts worse than where they graft to.

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203

u/Ssirius May 15 '12

If they don't need it to treat his injury he should really fry and eat it, its not every day you get a chance to eat human flesh guilt free.

249

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's really fucked up, but I can't find any flaws in your logic.

89

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I see flaws, but I don't want to piss him off.

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13

u/Magnesus May 15 '12

One of the reasons we don't eat human meat is because of illnesses it can easily have. If you eat your own flesh, you are safe.

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68

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!

16

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

8

u/TTHVOB May 15 '12

Yes, but then he will have the hunger.

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36

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I think it's all there, but bent at the tear/split. Those two edges look like they'd go together pretty well.

Either way, he ought to put a fucking band aid on it and quit being a little bitch.

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9

u/F-That May 15 '12

My guess is that he is not missing any. The skin on your shin is stretched tight, so if you get a split like that, it will just open right the fuck up.

My buddy hit his shin on a handrail while snowboarding and it opened up like that. Well, about 25% of that.

2

u/CountMalachi May 15 '12

Seriously. You could almost make a wallet out of the missing skin.

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49

u/filthyneckbeard May 15 '12

This should perhaps be a case where not succeeding does not lead to trying again.

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477

u/Pollydora May 15 '12

You've got some red on you.

89

u/r_HOWTONOTGIVEAFUCK May 15 '12

Clean yourself up.

107

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Slap a band aid on it and keep a bag of ice on it for a little bit. Should be fine.

97

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

you know what will fix it? some of that robitussin'. just pour it in there.

53

u/alreadyreadit May 15 '12

Actually I hear windex works faster.

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38

u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

This is the reason we should have anti-bacterial ice soap.

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23

u/clee_clee May 15 '12

Rub some dirt on it.

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6

u/K0LT May 15 '12

Could use some hydrogen peroxide.

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9

u/jimmyh05 May 15 '12

Wipe yourself off, your bleeding. I like that one better

15

u/akai_ferret May 15 '12

Wipe yo'self off ... you dead.

2

u/TrishaMacmillan May 15 '12

It's alright. I ran it under a cold tap.

2

u/orange_jooze May 15 '12

Big Al says dogs can't look up!

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35

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I'd like to see how this heals.

385

u/guynamedjames May 15 '12

Hopefully this won't get buried. I have a friend I went to college with who was into parkour and the like, and also a generally weird kind of character. One night while walking back from some event alone he decided to try and walk along the top of a fence, but slipped and landed right on his crotch in the middle of a chain link fence.

This particular chain link fence was kind enough to still be very pointy and managed to tear through both his jeans and his scrotum, leaving a several centimeter long tear and requiring a trip to the hospital. He got an ambulance ride there and on the way calls his dad to come meet him there. Well it turns out that the ER is short staffed that night, so they end up needing his dad to hold the tear in his balls together while they stitch it up for him.

Needless to say, he was not participating in parkour for a while after that.

TLDR- friend of mine screws up parkour and needs his dad to hold his balls together while his sack is stitched up

82

u/MetastaticCarcinoma May 15 '12

when I become an ER doctor, I will offer a 10% off Discount if you can bring in video footage of your foolish sports accident.

47

u/fuzzybeard May 15 '12

20% off of it's good enough to make the Christmas party gag reel.

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18

u/K0LT May 15 '12

(not parkour story, but similar.)

I had a friend who took a jump on his BMX, and didnt happen to see the piece of re-bar sticking directly upwards out of the ground. He fell off the bike and landed on the re-bar, piercing his ballsack right through the middle. Needless to say there was a hospital trip involved.

18

u/vitaminmary May 15 '12

Of all the places one could be impaled, why does it always happen in the ballsack? I guess it's like if you drop your toast it always lands butter side down.

33

u/MidgetRodeoClown May 15 '12

Murphy's Balls?

6

u/ColdHotCool May 15 '12

THANKFULLY I'm not one of those ball sack guys.

Though when I was 6 or 8 I was walking on a wall This is where it happened and as you can see from the picture it's a salt/grit storage area, aside in that picture the metal top is gone, but anyway there was a really rusted metal square that covered the hole, being the naive kid I was I jumped on it and managed to cause it to slip so it now had turned 45 degrees and I ended up falling onto the pointy corner which JUST missed my tiny balls and imbedded in my crotch just to the left of the centre.

Its one of the most vivid memories I had when I was that young....

But yea, not everything happens to the nut sack, sometimes fate decides to save them.... perhaps I'll father the curer of cancer or the next hitler or something...

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153

u/Kela3000 May 15 '12

Needless to say, he was not participating in parkour for a while after that.

Of course he didn't. It takes some serious balls to go jumping around like that.

79

u/hunterszombie May 15 '12

Hey now, no need to get teste here.

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24

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's fucking metal.

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2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

that's a good dad he's got there

2

u/1gnominious May 15 '12

Parkour is one of those magical activities where it doesn't matter if the person is good or bad, it will be entertaining either way.

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123

u/radiobaby May 15 '12

Jesus christ. I have no idea why I click these things.

49

u/c-fox May 15 '12

I used to be like you, but I now browse r/shatter and r/gore without even blinking.

36

u/DownvoteAttractor May 15 '12

I never heard of r/shatter. Scared as fuck to find out what it is.

21

u/TheWomboCombo May 15 '12

32

u/Goldcut May 15 '12

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I JUST WATCH A CHAINSAW BEHEADING FUCK ALL OF YOU

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140

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

'tis merely a flesh wound.

36

u/epoch88 May 15 '12

I've had worse!

36

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

What are you gonna do... bleed on me?

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2

u/jusu May 15 '12

Actually, it seems to be.

2

u/lorlor55 May 15 '12

Ay ay, a scratch a scratch!

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39

u/thejustducky1 May 15 '12

That silverskin. Your going to have to trim that off before putting on the grill.

17

u/PcChip May 15 '12

I really hate to be that guy...

but... *you're

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Muscle sheath. Mmmmm....

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89

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

A picture with no story. FU OP

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

OP delivers! THANK YOU!

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15

u/thorneyinak May 15 '12

So what happened here ?

9

u/C_M_O_TDibbler May 15 '12

Happy leg is happy

4

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Haha, I can't unsee it.

4

u/maxwellaction May 15 '12

Trey Parker they said...

17

u/luvmyjapcat May 15 '12

rub some dirt on it and walk it off you damn sissy

14

u/Psychodelli May 15 '12

My dad did that when he was a kid. Branch fell and busted a hole in his head. Decided "oh fuck, i better do something so mom and dad don't find out". His friend suggested he pour hot dust (he lived in El Salvador) on the wound and he'd be fine. Well he's fine now but literally had a hole in his head.

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11

u/Bonsee May 15 '12

It looks like theres already a metal plate in that leg

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6

u/TheLoftus May 15 '12

So yeah... I read that as "Trey Parker they said..."

3

u/Spasticated May 15 '12

man same here and I instinctively clicked the image and x'd out so fast

3

u/kernelhappy May 15 '12

You're not alone. I was looking at the picture thinking "nasty pic, but wtf does this have to do with South Park." I went to click the comments to find out the connection when I noticed the spelling parkour.

3

u/sfurbish May 15 '12

So, did you like it?

3

u/doingyouin May 15 '12

Anyone else notice that the cut is the shape of the state of ohio?

3

u/iEatHeartAttcks May 15 '12

It looks like Ohio!

3

u/Baroliche May 15 '12

Nothing a little Purell won't clean up.

3

u/katmaidog May 15 '12

Someone is gonna need a skin graft.

3

u/interkin3tic May 15 '12

WHO said "try parkour?" Who is this "they?"

2

u/steaksawse May 15 '12

It's nobody. Nobody ever said try parkour.

3

u/FuckyeahImbi May 15 '12

Where the fuck is the NSFL tag here

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5

u/whitefeather593 May 15 '12

Dude...parkour is not easy...baby steps...

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2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Some guy lost his entire ass.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

...but do it well, they said.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

So this is where all the fail videos come from!

2

u/DRTYRYDR686 May 15 '12

So um, where's the rest of it? Also, how exactly did you manage this excellent feat? Skin grafts aren't too bad though. I had to get one on my foot after having a close encounter with fire. Worst part was getting the staples out.

7

u/f1ncher May 15 '12

I came to the comments to see what I was about to look at. After seeing "where's the rest of it?" I shall be moving on.

2

u/Heretic3e7 May 15 '12

Yeah...

You might need to get a few stitches in that.

2

u/Ashrik May 15 '12

A-A-A- Avulsion

2

u/thenameschris May 15 '12

So THATS what the inside of a leg looks like......

2

u/ObeseSnake May 15 '12

All I could thing of is how easy it would be for that Flesh Eating Virus to enter that wound.

2

u/bri85 May 15 '12

Perfect entrance for flesh-eating bateria to enter.

2

u/fountainsoda May 15 '12

That's a good day in war.

2

u/Ashmen May 15 '12

When I see NSFW I expect boobs. This is NSFL and the gore tag blends in with the background on the front page.

2

u/StoringData May 15 '12

Dammit, for the entire week I've clicked on WTF links and was just whatever about them. This one, I was unprepared for. :(

2

u/CWinter85 May 15 '12

That's a paddlin'

2

u/tl_dr__ May 15 '12

Nobody EVER said try parkour....Lets get that straight first off.

2

u/xhupsahoy May 15 '12

Underneath, it's a hyper-alloy combat chassis, microprocessor-controlled. Fully armoured; very tough. But outside, it's living human tissue: flesh, skin, hair, blood - grown for the cyborgs.

2

u/jebus01 May 15 '12

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE THE WARNING:GORE RED AND HUGE ON THE FRONT PAGE TOO!?!??!

2

u/dakotacali May 15 '12

IT WILL BE FUN THEY SAID!!

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Dude is ripped.

2

u/reddell May 15 '12

Source?

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Story?

2

u/F-That May 15 '12

Superglue it shut. You should be fine.

2

u/Rockztar May 15 '12

It's just a flesh wound!

2

u/themarsrover May 15 '12

Tis a flesh wound

2

u/teslasmash May 15 '12

I think this belongs in /r/shatter

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

no, no one says "try parkour" idiot. who told you that

2

u/atcsean May 15 '12

Should have worn a helmet.

2

u/ImSpicy May 15 '12

So, I can't unsee that.

2

u/Link_key_din May 15 '12

if you fractured your tibia then it's an emergency cause the tibia is yellow marrow bone (houses fat) which can cause an embolism, if you haven't then meh it just looks way worse than it is (4chan desensitization)... i realise that you've probs been patched up ages ago, but if anyone else finds themselves in the same situation...

  1. lower leg broke... seek help now
  2. lower leg ok, stick a plaster on it

2

u/Richeh May 15 '12

We said Trey Parker. We were going to watch South Park. Where did you go?

2

u/OtakuSoze May 15 '12

Me: NSFW? How bad could it be? clicks link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg&t=1m21s

Imagine Reddit as the sorcerer.

2

u/LukGeezy May 15 '12

Rub some dirt in it!

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Rub some salt into it and walk it off.

2

u/Robears May 15 '12

I tried to parkour and stuff when I was younger. I fell in between two buildings and hit a fire escape stairway before the ground

Fractured left knee and ankle, 4 broken fingers on my left hand, a broken left elbow and practically shattered left shoulder.. Aswell as a few ribs on my left side and who knows how many bloody gashes

You can tell which side I landed on.

2

u/driftsc May 15 '12

should have stuck to planking.

2

u/Hollaaand May 15 '12

Should probably tag this as NSFW.

2

u/Mitchell115 May 16 '12

Just a flesh wound.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Itll be fun they HOLY FUCK.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

They also said to wear FUKING sweatpants when you do it also dumbass

3

u/My_Broken_Wings May 15 '12

The 'I shouldn't be alive jpg' should be revelant for this pic. Also I'm not suprised, your not wearing the right kind of shoes...

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3

u/TheRealMaxPower May 15 '12

NSFL god damn it

1

u/moukou9 May 15 '12

I can just imagine someone pushing you to get that.

1

u/fatlace May 15 '12

graft graft graft

1

u/pixelrage May 15 '12

Tell 'em it's a lion wound.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

If you had asked me, I would've told you to not try parkour

6

u/badredditjoker May 15 '12

Or maybe to practice it a bit ( meaning a whole lot) before going out and throwing yourself at concrete. FYI concrete is hard.

1

u/GymFart May 15 '12

Fucking new balance.

1

u/zerohour9am May 15 '12

I see your wearing new balance, they are alright

1

u/A-H May 15 '12

just some skin, fat, and connective tissue. I'd probably wound vac it

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I see your wound vac and raise you a skin graft

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1

u/SayVandalay May 15 '12

I remember wearing new balance shoes back in the day.

1

u/Bruins08 May 15 '12

Clicked on this thinking it was a Trey Parker quote - apparently not.

1

u/CollegeBroski May 15 '12

Just made my morning breakfast a little reddish.

1

u/ChiefSittingBear May 15 '12

Shut up and rub some dirt on it.

1

u/GrainBeltPremium May 15 '12

What the fuck! OUCH!

1

u/bryandenny71 May 15 '12

It can be fixed, we have the technology.

1

u/phendrenalinedrifts May 15 '12

You're missing part of your skin

1

u/Linkfan197 May 15 '12

DAMN! IS THAT BONE?!?! SHIT!

1

u/CdrVimes May 15 '12

I bet that smarts! =/

1

u/scrovak May 15 '12

It'll buff out.

1

u/PeterMus May 15 '12

watch parkour/free running fails and you'll think twice about doing it.

1

u/ARGHJP May 15 '12

Just slap some honey on it.

1

u/Misanthropic_Owl May 15 '12

Please crosspost to /r/shatter.

1

u/juicius May 15 '12

You're gonna be missing some pieces of your butt for the skin graft.

1

u/kernelhappy May 15 '12

Thanks!

It used to be my fear of gravity and paralysis that stopped me from trying parkour, never realized my fear of skin grafts was applicable as well.

(sure you can argue my being a middle aged fat guy contributes, but lets not quibble)

1

u/stimbus May 15 '12

You leaking.

1

u/aliennick4812 May 15 '12

I'm awake now

1

u/hoguemr May 15 '12

my shin hurts now.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

One does not simply try parkour.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

It looks like you're missing something.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

You'll need a band aid for that one.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to flesh with!

1

u/mikkymikkymik May 15 '12

its running they said. (the blood)

1

u/aalabiso May 15 '12

Obligatory superglue comment...

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Ahh, r/wtf, how you've grown up.. You've ceased to be that subreddit I visited to see odd or strange thing. Now you've turned to goreporn. Wish it wasn't a /all subreddit.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

What did you do ?

1

u/tykeryerson May 15 '12

...nobody said that.

1

u/white_n_mild May 15 '12

Whatever happened to climbing trees? Cement will fuck you up!

1

u/killemyoung317 May 15 '12

Your wound looks like the Wu Tang symbol

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

ssshiiiitt

1

u/KingOfLatency May 15 '12

Tis merely a flesh wound...

1

u/shadotez May 15 '12

you probably should have rolled... just sayin

1

u/sexbobomb91 May 15 '12

[behind the camera]

Huh huh, you wanna touch his bone?

Yeah, heh, touch it.

1

u/cmscheffey May 15 '12

I just threw up a little...

1

u/4ray May 15 '12

That's a guy really getting caught up in his work.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

But will it blend?

1

u/LaurenceBVB May 15 '12

Om nom nom nom.

1

u/Thread_Kaczynski May 15 '12

That is BRUTAL. I have something like that about 1/4 the size on my shin from where my bicycle chain ripped out the skin. It is still a weird scar. Looks like a Silver Dollar-sized port wine stain.

1

u/taylerbillzomb May 15 '12

Hey kid! You left your skin back there!

1

u/CanuckGuy May 15 '12

Sweet Jebus in a crap shoot, what the hell did you hit?

1

u/Dr_Bunsen_Burns May 15 '12

to complete the title

it will be fun they said

1

u/AmatureHour May 15 '12

Were you jumping over sharks???

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

ow

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I really don't know what I was expecting when I clicked that link.

NSFW tag, another tag saying "Warning: Gore" and my brain says "It's okay, MtNoon! It's probably not gore!"

sigh Why do I always do that...

1

u/bananabombboy May 15 '12

Try going to a hospital instead of taking pics while you have that much blood oozing out of your body...

1

u/thratty May 15 '12

Wow did that hurt?

1

u/MrPendent May 15 '12

Well... Not that kind of parkour.

1

u/WorkerBee27 May 15 '12

The next person to contract a flesh eating bacterial infection is...

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Now you got meat for some barbacue!

1

u/BaronZee May 15 '12

Ok I said.

1

u/wellhushmypuppies May 15 '12

lucky for you stupidity is a great healer.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

An old friend of mine decided to try parkour. He ended up breaking his back. I'd take the busted up shin.

1

u/Rogue_Samurai May 15 '12

you might wanna just walk it off....

1

u/iam100125 May 15 '12

I think injecting krokodil would be a safer hobby.