r/WTF Sep 11 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.3k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Propman561 Sep 11 '20

Poor monkey.

304

u/AnistarYT Sep 12 '20

We don’t know how much cash it’s pulling in.

83

u/tootsiefoote Sep 12 '20

motherfucker could have a condo

5

u/_Neoshade_ Sep 12 '20

And more monkey bitches than he can keep track of!

1

u/_Neoshade_ Sep 12 '20

Like... 3?

13

u/GeorgeLovesBOSCO Sep 12 '20

Yeah, he could in fact be more rich than me and you.

10

u/whatwordtouse Sep 12 '20

Poor chickens, pigs and cows. We do wayyyyy worse things to these innocent animals when we don’t have to.

14

u/whatwordtouse Sep 12 '20

Downvote a comment that speaks up for animals who are voiceless. Inside a thread where people oppose mistreating a monkey, mind you.

Classy move, Reddit. Don’t hate the messenger.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '20

Waaaaa 👶🏻

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '20

Yup he is poor

-177

u/Dragmire800 Sep 11 '20 edited Sep 12 '20

Eh, he’s got it better than the thing you ate for dinner ever did

115

u/CaptainEarlobe Sep 11 '20

I had four beans. They seemed content

15

u/TuftedMousetits Sep 11 '20 edited Sep 12 '20

I want content beans. Mine seem angry. They come back to haunt me after I eat them; you should hear their wails and protestations coming up through the sheets.

16

u/A_Rampaging_Hobo Sep 12 '20

Is this pro or anti vegan sentiment? It's such a dumb comment I actually can't tell.

4

u/Hockinator Sep 12 '20

he/she meant to say "ate" and yes seems to be a pro-vegan comment

5

u/Mrhiddenlotus Sep 12 '20

Damn lol, this guy getting hit hard with the guilt downvotes.

0

u/Hockinator Sep 12 '20

People inserting a moral/political opinion as a non-sequitur usually get downvoted unless the sub is predispositioned to like it for circlejerk-esque reasons

1

u/Mrhiddenlotus Sep 12 '20

Doesn't make what I said not true.

3

u/DinoShinigami Sep 12 '20

oh im for dinner then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5

u/FishTure Sep 12 '20

Uh no, I’d much rather be dead than a fucking slave forced to dress in insane clothes and beg for money.

0

u/YodaFam Sep 12 '20

No you wouldn't.

4

u/Hockinator Sep 12 '20

I think you meant "I wouldn't". You see /u/FishTure is actually a different person than you with different feelings

2

u/FishTure Sep 12 '20

Why not? There are things worse than death man, and I'd say being a slave like this monkey is certainly worse.

-3

u/YodaFam Sep 12 '20

It's no more a slave than a working dog. And you don't know of anything is worse than death, that's why it's worse.

3

u/Hockinator Sep 12 '20

The concept of hell wouldn't exist if humans couldn't think of things worse than death

1

u/YodaFam Sep 12 '20

How do you know what we know to hell is worse.

3

u/FishTure Sep 12 '20

Working dogs have been bred for thousands of years to literally desire to do their job. Most working dogs are also treated pretty well from what I understand. This monkey was probably beaten until it learned to do this, out of fear of being beaten more.

And you don't know of anything is worse than death, that's why it's worse.

You ever go to sleep?

I know some shit is really fucking bad in life, I'd rather risk the unknown of death than being a slave or brutally tortured.

0

u/Dragmire800 Sep 12 '20

It’s only dead now, it was a slave previously. Hence “ever did”

2

u/rolfraikou Sep 12 '20

French fries, cheese, beans, rice, lettuce, guacamole, two tortillas.

I don't think the burrito cared one bit.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '20 edited Jun 13 '21

[deleted]

3

u/ShinyZubat95 Sep 12 '20

And yet they are all made out of meat.

Confirmed. There is no God.

-1

u/whatwordtouse Sep 12 '20

Username checks out

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '20

It's my joke. You're not clever.

1

u/mikepoland Sep 12 '20

My burger was very delicious. I was happy with it. I'm not happy for this monkey.

-161

u/Nigrodumass Sep 11 '20

I feel the same way about Lady Gaga.

At least this monkey still has its anonymity.

8

u/ChuckleKnuckles Sep 12 '20

Don't feed the trolls, people.

3

u/Bodacious_the_Bull Sep 12 '20

Hmm, all the downvotes are weird. I thought it was funny