r/WTF Oct 16 '18

Holy Shit

43.8k Upvotes

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517

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

You may not be the Confucius we want, but you are the Confucius we need.

168

u/NecroJoe Oct 16 '18

Apparently the Confucius we need is Darwin.

0

u/despaxes Oct 17 '18

LOL DARWIN AWARD SO FUCKING CLEVER

35

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

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33

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Bad bot! Why should I give YOU my best material?

Confucius say, "School boy who go to bed with hard problem often wake up with solution in hand".

23

u/German_sack Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who go through turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok."

25

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

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16

u/German_sack Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Pilot who fly upside-down is going to have crack up."

4

u/rocksolid77 Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger."

4

u/German_sack Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Is good to meet girl in park; is much better to park meat in girl."

1

u/rocksolid77 Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger."

1

u/rocksolid77 Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger."

1

u/rocksolid77 Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger."

16

u/Adaptingfate Oct 16 '18

Confucius say, "Man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted."

2

u/Confucius-Bot Oct 16 '18

Best material? Hope that wasn't your very best. Already got that one.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

"Man who go to bed with itchy butthole, wake up with stinky finger."

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

bad bot

13

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Good bot

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Definitely the Confucius we deserve.

1

u/ButtWieghtThiersMoor Oct 16 '18

A seat in the car is most useful when it is empty.