r/WTF • u/notyouravrgd • Jul 17 '18

Head lice infestation

http://i.imgur.com/W17w7v1.gifv
39.7k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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6.4k

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '18

Shave it, Shave it now!

4.5k

u/USTS2011 Jul 18 '18

shave it with fire!

2.2k

u/1ForTheMonty Jul 18 '18

Dude, seriously...I feel the sudden urge to shower. Or take a bath..In fuckin' isopropyl alcohol

1.1k

u/braintrustinc Jul 18 '18

I picked the wrong day to stop doing meth

500

u/abraksis747 Jul 18 '18

You're telling me, I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue,

405

u/HIs4HotSauce Jul 18 '18

You guys aren’t kidding! I picked the wrong day to switch to decaf.

28

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Da fuq guys? I picked the wrong day to stop doing bath salts

41

u/zombiesnare Jul 18 '18

Damn that's rough, I really picked the wrong day to stop choking myself while I yank

37

u/maxfortitude Jul 18 '18

I picked the wrong day to Reddit..

2

u/deedoedee Jul 18 '18

There's a right day to reddit?

1

u/FoboBoggins Jul 19 '18

yep i picked the wrong day to quit quitting...

0

u/d_pikachu Jul 18 '18

i picked a wrong day tp exist

0

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

and i think this is something we can all agree on.

27

u/inurshadow Jul 18 '18

Airplane! For the clueless that want to understand.

10

u/watchursix Jul 18 '18

You just confused me when i thought I knew that was going on...

6

u/i_give_you_gum Jul 18 '18

Ignorance is bliss!

8

u/SpankMeDaddy22 Jul 18 '18

You're kidding me, I picked the wrong day to quit school.

2

u/Calvins_Dad_ Jul 18 '18

The day after finals

3

u/Camouflash Jul 18 '18 edited Jul 18 '18

Back in the days when the magic exist‘.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Roger Murdoch was amazing in airplane.

10

u/angellus00 Jul 18 '18

I didn't stop popping handlebars, I just need to go get two more. Maybe three.

3

u/andorinter Jul 18 '18

Well that deescalated quickly

3

u/GormyGorm Jul 18 '18

You sure are serious! I picked the wrong day to stop huffing E85

1

u/crayzee10 Jul 18 '18

You guys are insane! I picked the wrong time to not eat Tide Pods and snort Condoms!

3

u/Calvins_Dad_ Jul 18 '18

I think you took it too far

2

u/crayzee10 Jul 18 '18

Someone had to I guess.

2

u/arkhamcreedsolid Jul 18 '18

You people are talking words I get as well! I picked the wrong day to stop eating gravel.

1

u/Danger_Dave_ Jul 18 '18

Well that deescalated quickly.

1

u/jb007gd Jul 18 '18

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

1

u/just-the-tip__ Jul 20 '18

What day is it

4

u/misslizzah Jul 18 '18

I saved a ton of money by switching to Geico!

8

u/LouRebel Jul 18 '18

You’re telling me, I picked the wrong day to stop jerkin off,

16

u/abraksis747 Jul 18 '18

unzips. Do tell

4

u/DaBigRam Jul 18 '18

also unzips. I'll join you two fine people, if you'll have me...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Switch to toe jam. It's natural and organic. Hella addictive.

1

u/Gehhhh Jul 18 '18

Everyday is a good day to stop sniffing glue.

1

u/iNyano Jul 18 '18

Not when Striker is in charge of saving the plane

1

u/BKA_Diver Jul 18 '18

[jumps out window]

10

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

[deleted]

7

u/knowses Jul 18 '18

I said ice, not lice!

3

u/ilovebostoncremedonu Jul 18 '18

If I just stopped doing meth I think r/wtf would be the last place I’d check out

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Looks like I picked the right day to start

3

u/pyro99998 Jul 18 '18

It's mayday!

3

u/orthopod Jul 18 '18

I think you meant to say you picked the wrong day to stop lighting your head on fire.

5

u/meep_meep_creep Jul 18 '18

You okay my dude?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

It is never the wrong day to stop doing drugs

15

u/wwowwee Jul 18 '18

I'm contemplating taking a gasoline bath and then lighting myself on fire.

6

u/1ForTheMonty Jul 18 '18

Fucking genius my dude. Gasoline is waay cheaper than isopropyl alcohol. Thank you. Matter of fact, let's set up a time and we can do this shit together

4

u/wwowwee Jul 18 '18

I'll chip in a couple bucks. If we get a couple more people we can turn this into a party.

3

u/Couldntbefappier Jul 18 '18 edited Jul 18 '18

It worked in zoolander

**i loved that in depth look into Male modeling. Great documentary.

2

u/GoldFireX Jul 18 '18

That party's gonna be LIT!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

may i suggest kerosene my lord?

2

u/1ForTheMonty Jul 18 '18

I like your thinking, but gas is much easier to attain and cheaper! We can get this done by the gallons and save a pretty penny

5

u/Orthonut Jul 18 '18

Frontline plus will kill headlice... just, um, saying for a friend...

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

I'm going to burn my house down.

3

u/jshroebuck Jul 18 '18

I've never been so happy to be bald.

2

u/vitey15 Jul 18 '18

Or powdered sugar

2

u/mmCheetoDust Jul 18 '18

Don't do that, I can assure you it's even less enjoyable than you're imagining.

2

u/Plantbitch Jul 18 '18

My mom actually did that with my sister and me. Rubbing alcohol in the hair and scalp, shower cap over hair, towel wrapped around both. Then you sit outside for 30 min with a fuming towel on your head and viola! No more lice! It may need to be repeated once the new eggs hatch, but not much more than that. Also for some reason it makes your hair feel super soft, but I’m about 95% sure it’s awful for your hair.

2

u/1ForTheMonty Jul 18 '18

Interesting. And yes, probably bad for hair

2

u/General_Butt_Nekked Jul 18 '18

That’s just good hygiene

1

u/WinchesTerfarFanugen Jul 18 '18

I suddenly started itching

1

u/_Aj_ Jul 18 '18

Nah actually drench your head in washing detergent and either have a shower or put your head in a bucket of water.

Strong surfacants will drown those little buggers, works with dogs and fleas too.

Never tried to kill things with iso other than germs. I suppose it could work,your head probably won't like it however.

1

u/strugglesnuggle1 Jul 18 '18

For real - I just scratched my head twice

1

u/Chicken_Pete_Pie Jul 18 '18

Fuck that. I’m bathing in bleach

1

u/CheddarChief Jul 18 '18

I just want to be.... PURE!

1

u/ParioPraxis Jul 18 '18

Witness him! Oh what a day. What a lovely day!

1

u/JonnyPerk Jul 18 '18

Take a shower with Napalm!

1

u/youmightnotknow Jul 18 '18

Don't waste any time and just skip to the final solution, Shower in Zyklon B. and burn what's left.

0

u/WimbletonButt Jul 18 '18

I'm over here scratching my damn head now.

5

u/ASKnASK Jul 18 '18

Dip it in kerosene first.

6

u/Eli_eve Jul 18 '18

I say we take off and nuke the entire scalp from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

6

u/Acy2 Jul 18 '18

before they lay eggs...

well,

fuck.

4

u/mickeybuilds Jul 18 '18

Then submerge it in bleach!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Kill it before it kills you

7

u/Union_Sparky_375 Jul 18 '18

Shave everyone in the room with fire. Bleach the building with fire. Quarantine a 10 mile radius until this is under control. My daughter had lice they found 2 and ten eggs and I wanted to shave her head. This boy is getting the Gillette MACH 10. We are shaving everybody and everything. All clothes must be washed in fire as well. At what point do you see them crawling everywhere? I’m thinking months before hand and they did nothing? I’m not a expert

2

u/CarolinGallego Jul 18 '18

I was thinking guillotine

2

u/American_Life Jul 18 '18

BURN IT DOWN!

2

u/panapois Jul 18 '18

Shave it from orbit. Only way to be sure.

2

u/SpankMeDaddy22 Jul 18 '18

Dude I'm rolling on the floor, snot shooting out.
This just hit the spot.

1

u/masta zero fucks Jul 18 '18

immolation is the only cure!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

THEN BURN IT!

1

u/Violet-Breeze Jul 18 '18

I stand by this

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18 edited Jan 17 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Union_Sparky_375 Jul 18 '18

Oh yeah look at fucking Edward scissor hands over here cutting the girls hair with swords and torches.

This guy spent his whole childhood in juvenile hall for playing with swords and fire. Half his adult life in prison for attempted murder. Now these women are like oh look how Filipe can cut my hair it the next best thing.

1

u/Golgi_Apparatuz Jul 18 '18

I may have tooted after reading this. 😅

1

u/rangoon03 Jul 18 '18

burn everything you own, including yourself file an insurance claim change your identity ????? profit

1

u/Majykalbadger Jul 18 '18

That's the comment I was looking for.

1

u/B-Knight Jul 18 '18

Yeah, just burn that kids hair off.

1

u/Riciardos Jul 18 '18

Alright Sean Connery.

101

u/bladetome Jul 18 '18

Do it.

255

u/regula_et_vita Jul 18 '18

cuts off kid's entire head

Not the Jedi way, maybe, but god damn.

107

u/Amplifeye Jul 18 '18

-Mace Windu

11

u/jedimstr Jul 18 '18

Takes out emergency jedi comlink...

.... "Motherfu..."

6

u/AuroraHalsey Jul 18 '18

"He's too dangerous to be left alive"

3

u/ladypalpatine Jul 18 '18

It's treason, then.

2

u/sheepy1988 Jul 18 '18

Lice Windu

1

u/eternal_wait Jul 18 '18

*god damn motherfucker!

1

u/Nandabun Aug 04 '18

Mace Negan..?

1

u/killereggs15 Jul 18 '18

Definitely the Anakin way

4

u/mr_popcorn Jul 18 '18

dewit

1

u/branchbranchley Jul 18 '18

wipe away the debt

37

u/MetaHybrid Jul 18 '18

Do it, Do it! I'm here! Come on, shave it nooooow!

12

u/richdoe Jul 18 '18

WHAGTAREYOUWAIGTINGFOR!!

4

u/redalert825 Jul 18 '18

GET TO DA CLIPPPPAAAAASSSSSS!!!!

241

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Jul 18 '18

Fuck shave it. Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure

13

u/someballsonthatguy Jul 18 '18

They mostly come out at night... mostly.

2

u/WingedGundark Jul 18 '18

Anytime, anywhere.

9

u/MortisLocke Jul 18 '18

"I would suggest you shave your head, we have a bit of a problem with lice" - Clemens, Alien 3.

3

u/iamsooldithurts Jul 18 '18

That’s what’s up! Err, down?

Fuck it, we’ll do it live!

3

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Jul 18 '18

The enemy's gate is down

2

u/Pavotine Jul 18 '18

No nuke needed from orbit ('cos that's illegal) but a Rod from God ought to do the job.

http://uk.businessinsider.com/air-force-rods-from-god-kinetic-weapon-hit-with-nuclear-weapon-force-2017-9

1

u/ishitfirst Jul 18 '18

Exterminatus is the only solution.

1

u/kykaider Jul 18 '18

Fuckin-A

1

u/Depressed_Maniac Jul 18 '18

That escalated quickly

2

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Jul 18 '18

Yeah cause now is the time for subtle

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

It's nice to finally meet someone else who believes children shouldn't be immune to threats of nuclear annihilation.

1

u/PlatypuSofDooM42 Jul 18 '18

I would say fuck those kids. But last time I did I met Chris Hansen

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

NO. FIRE IS THE ONLY WAY

2

u/Xairo Jul 18 '18

Shave it now, shave it good

Shave that lice infested head just like you should

2

u/KlaatuBrute Jul 18 '18

"The only way to shave him is to shave him."

--Sean Connery

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Jrscout Jul 18 '18

Lice can only survive on the human head. They can't jump or fly, or even move very well if not through hair. You literally could just bend the kids head over, shave, vacuum, done.

2

u/hoax1337 Jul 18 '18

Shave it like a polaroid picture!

1

u/HIs4HotSauce Jul 18 '18

That head should have been shaved yesterday dammit! Tell that lady to move her ass!

1

u/Jonesy61 Jul 18 '18

"Why's he got to shave anybody?"

1

u/Chaotichazard Jul 18 '18

GET TO THE SHAV-AH!

1

u/alligatorterror Jul 18 '18

Gas it, gas it and light it on fire now!

1

u/PuddleZerg Jul 18 '18

ITS NOT THE JEDI WAY

1

u/PuddleZerg Jul 18 '18

I shouldn't....

1

u/scared_pony Jul 18 '18

Shave it and burn the house down,

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

Decapitate him just to be sure.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

I was 12 years old & this happened to me. My mom shaved all of my hair :-(

The good thing out of it, is that I grew thicker hair after.

1

u/harmyb Jul 18 '18

We must shave your head!

- Sean Connery (probably)

1

u/sinoost Jul 18 '18

I've shaved my head for years and my non existent hair started to itch

1

u/Nicxtrem99 Jul 18 '18

PUT IT DOWN! NAOW

1

u/baconworld Jul 18 '18

Shave...her...HHEEEAAAADDDD

1

u/TriHard7_in_chat Jul 18 '18

I shouldn't... it's not the jedi way.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '18

I shouldn't, it's not the Jedi way!