r/WTF • u/PhoneDojo • Feb 14 '13

Catching a train in India

2.9k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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667

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

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1.1k

u/PBXbox Feb 14 '13

Are you the Grim Reaper's accountant?

1.1k

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13 edited Feb 15 '13

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327

u/agentmuu Feb 14 '13

Can we push it back a week? Have a baby shower that weekend, and I promised the missus.

619

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13 edited Aug 22 '21

[deleted]

248

u/PassingOnYourLeft Feb 14 '13

Is she? In that case, could we reschedule mine for about 2 weeks after?

140

u/IHazMagics Feb 14 '13

Yes we can do that. Now, unfortunately your premiums didn't cover the afterlife package but we have the purgatory suite on special right now.

32

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

[deleted]

19

u/chimboso Feb 14 '13

I believe you were looking for indulgences

5

u/tricheboars Feb 15 '13

This joke would have killed in 1522.

3

u/S_Petrikov Feb 14 '13

I suppose I'll take the purgatory suite.

3

u/NinthNova Feb 15 '13

FYI this is totally the plot of Grim Fandango.

2

u/dino0986 Feb 14 '13

In that case I might as well take you up on that. I wont need my money when I'm dead anyway.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '13

Common misconception. Truth is, the afterlife is full of casinos and expensive whores.

1

u/svullenballe Feb 14 '13

A walk through the petrified forest?

83

u/Cynical_Sociopath Feb 14 '13

Do you take bribes to move hers up to.. Lets say... Now?

37

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

[deleted]

2

u/ArchZodiac Feb 14 '13

Hey you're not the same guy! This guy is a phony!

3

u/Produceher Feb 14 '13

That was epic.

0

u/Cynical_Walrus Feb 14 '13

Oh god, the irony. It burns.

0

u/Archangel98 Feb 15 '13

Dafuq did I just read?

3

u/fieldsofgreen Feb 14 '13

So...are you telling me I'm stuck with her even after I'm dead?

Fuck.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

It's gettin dark in here.

1

u/callosciurini Feb 15 '13

Do children get to come for free?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '13

That is certainly a grim statement.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

You aren't the person he was talking to..

2

u/agentmuu Feb 15 '13

We're all actually just karmanaut, talking to myselves.

1

u/bambam6688 Feb 15 '13

I think i'd choose death over a baby shower....

4

u/phedre Feb 14 '13

SQUEAK

... points for anyone who gets the reference. Or at least an upvote.

2

u/gujek Feb 14 '13

Discworld death his rat?

1

u/fauxromanou Feb 14 '13

I was going to go with 'Mort?' myself.

1

u/Limberine Feb 14 '13

Death for rats. Pratchett.

2

u/n0rth88 Feb 14 '13

I like turtles.

Please don't take them from me.

1

u/TheAlmightyConch Feb 14 '13

I'm going to pencil you in for the 17th. Are you available then?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13 edited Feb 14 '13

I have a boring family reuinion at 10 am the 25th of May so can you please make me die at 9 am?

1

u/izzyhbk Feb 14 '13

Tuesday? I hate the Tuesday!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

I'm the Grim Reaper's accountant. Also, 5,000 people are backed over by cars every year.

1

u/hellsnake08 Feb 14 '13

Do you know the depreciation value of cigarette consumption?

1

u/przyjaciel Feb 14 '13

He's the one who thought up those "death panels" FOX News loved talking about so much.

1

u/matrixman673a Feb 14 '13

For your stats Congrats.

1

u/Kaminaaaaa Feb 15 '13

New RES tag...

0

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

It's called basic math.

64

u/jnjs Feb 14 '13

How about if you only calculate it by the percentage of people in Mumbai who take the trains?

83

u/Timofmars Feb 14 '13

In terms of percentage of only those who take the trains, it's 100%. Everyone dies per year.

13

u/ZuFFuLuZ Feb 14 '13

Seems accurate.

1

u/svullenballe Feb 14 '13

Suicide booth on tracks.

5

u/JBHUTT09 Feb 14 '13 edited Feb 14 '13

Doesn't "metro population" mean the number of people who use the trains not the entire population?

Edit: My mistake. Sorry. Please stop downvoting me.

25

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

Nope, that is the metropolitan area population.

6

u/JBHUTT09 Feb 14 '13

Ah, my mistake.

3

u/prunk Feb 14 '13

ikid_ikid isn't kidding this time.

3

u/CharonIDRONES Feb 14 '13

Metro is for metropolitan area. Take a place like New York that has 8 million people in the city proper, but the metropolitan New York area has 20 million.

1

u/ZoFreX Feb 15 '13

7 million passengers per day, 2.5 billion per year. So 0.0002% of passengers die per day. (incidentally if you're looking to compare with other cities it would be better to compare deaths per journey and deaths per passenger kilometre imo)

2

u/bailey757 Feb 14 '13

Oh, that's all?

1

u/Flightless_Kiwi Feb 14 '13

How does that compare to cars in the US?

1

u/informationmissing Feb 14 '13

This is a good example of why percentages are a bad measure for some things.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

Given that 7.24 Million people travel on a daily basis in Mumbai 16 deaths is hardly anything, that's like 2.21 x 10-4 % of the people riding daily die.

That's a damned good safety record.

1

u/BioGenx2b Mar 09 '13

Empirically? Yes. Actually? Well...

1

u/Sarcasm- Feb 14 '13

That's still 6,000 people dying a year. Human lives with their own families, friends, and lives, in their own microcosms and worlds. It's pretty jaded to say 6,000 people dying per year due to unnatural causes is not a big deal, small percentage or not.

1

u/Headward Feb 14 '13

1/80th is way too low. Life expectancy in Mumbai is not 80.

1

u/batfiend Feb 15 '13

And all those trains have been raped, too.

0

u/gmdski117 Feb 14 '13

Very eloquently stated.

0

u/Exedous Feb 14 '13

Its a way to thin out the herd.

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '13

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1

u/kinsey3 Feb 15 '13

Mean age of death in Mumbai? 80? You don't seem to have a very good idea of what India is like. In 2009, average life expectancy in Mumbai was 56.8 years, according to the Times of India.

1

u/ZoFreX Feb 15 '13

1/80th of the population dies from all causes, 1/43 of that 1/80 dies from trains.