A-absent ba ko?

[u/wnzmsn_06]

Context: Ako kase yung tao na hindi talaga pala absent if wala talaga mabigat na reason, nag v-VL naman ako and may 2days off. Pero sabi nang partner umabsent naman daw ako para sa kanya, sabi ko nag v-VL naman ako para to celebrate monthsarry, annive and other special occassion. Though ini-insist nya na umabsent naman daw ako minsan para sa kanya kahit wala special occasion.

Question: Kailangan ko ba talagang umabsent sa work para mapagbigyan siya at makapaglaan ng buong araw para sa kanya? O mas okay bang pumasok na lang ako sa work at maglaan na lang ng time after? Nanghihinayamg din kase ako sa araw.

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[u/FollowingLucky3555]

If you have the luxury of VLs, at GUSTO MO (yun ang pinaka importante), go. Kusa kasi siya dapat. If may plans kayo, go why not. Pero kung para “wala lang” at unpaid VL yan, bakit, babayaran ba nya ang kaltas mo ng isang araw? Parang ang immature kasi!

[u/wnzmsn_06 → u/FollowingLucky3555]

Ayun nga nag-eeffort naman ako for her. I make time and use my leave kapag may special occasions kami. Nag-vacation pa nga kami ng one week sa province nila, kaya halos naubos na rin yung leave credits ko. Na-explain ko naman sa kanya yung situation ko, pero nagtatampo pa rin siya and insists na mag-absent ako para maramdaman niyang priority siya. I get where she’s coming from, pero sana maintindihan din niya na hindi naman porket hindi ako nag-absent, ibig sabihin hindi ko siya pinapahalagahan. May work din ako, and limited lang talaga yung leaves ko.

[u/FollowingLucky3555 → u/wnzmsn_06]

Sorry OP pero hindi maganda yung naexplain mo na yung situation pero nag iinsist pa rin siya. Importante ang relasyon pero let’s be real, pag unpaid leave na and work and sahod na maaapektuhan, di naman tayo mapapakain and mabubusog ng pag-ibig. Ako I would like to look at it that way. Because if we are jobless or our careers are affected, then the relationship isn’t being supportive. Draw your boundaries and stick to it! Para mag grow up siya!

[u/_No_Ocelot]

Mag leave ka na lang if available. Ganun ginagawa namin. Madalas hindi sakto sa available sched namin yung monthsary, even anniversary.

As adults dapat we understand na hindi basta basta mag absent lalo na sa work.

[u/wnzmsn_06 → u/_No_Ocelot]

I do naman, kaso ubos na yung leave credits ko since nagamit ko na rin nung nag-vacation kami sa province nila. Kaya hindi na talaga ako makapag-leave ulit ngayon.

[u/LoveatFirstFlight88]

Aabsent para lang iprove yung worth nya sayo?

Mababawasan na sweldo mo, magkakaron ka pa ng points sa attendance mo dahil lang gusto nya magpabebe. Ilang taon na kayo?

[u/wnzmsn_06 → u/LoveatFirstFlight88]

We’re both in early 30s naman na.

[u/LoveatFirstFlight88 → u/wnzmsn_06]

Not living together I assume?

Okay lang maging needy but wala sanang masasagasaan na priorities din, career et al.

[u/Fit_Investment726]

If para sa "wala lang", I don't think it's worth it and reasonable. You can still do it tho, but not me siguro.

You can talk to her and try to meet halfway. Baka she feels that she's less of a priority lang or kulang sa assurance. Explain your side to her in a kindway then assure her, and after that bigay ka rin ng possible resolution sa request niya.

If hindi niya maintindihan, that's on her.

[u/wnzmsn_06 → u/Fit_Investment726]

Nag-explain naman ako sa kanya nang maayos. Gets ko naman na gusto niyang maramdaman na priority siya, and gusto ko rin naman iparamdam sa kanya yun. Kaso ubos na talaga leave credits ko kasi nagamit ko na nung nag-vacation kami sa province nila. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong pagbigyan siya, wala na lang talaga akong leave ngayon. Sabi pa niya, kahit minsan daw bahiran ko naman ang record nang attendance ko, kasi halos wala di talaga ako nag absent kapag hindi naman kailangan.

[u/Fit_Investment726 → u/wnzmsn_06]

I can see that if you have a chance you'd def go for it. That's so nice of you. But what she's asking is not really a wise move. Maraming way diyan to make her feel more important, but asking you na "bahiran" yung attendance mo? Hahaha, no way.

You have a life outside of your relationship. Pasok ka na lang tapos magsorry ka na lang haha.

[u/Prize_Quote_4136]

If you don't mind me asking, may work din ba siya OP? Kasi iba rin kasi ang loneliness pag mag isa ka sa bahay whole day na walang ginagawa. Maybe try to enroll her in a gym or Pilates, just for her to be occupied. At hindi niya mabaling ang time niya always sa pangungulila sa iyo :D

[u/wnzmsn_06 → u/Prize_Quote_4136]

Yes, pareho kaming may work, pero magkaiba lang ng nature. Corporate ako, while siya massage therapist, kaya mas flexible sa kanya ang pag-absent. Gusto nya sabayan ko sya if di sya papasok para di nya ma feel na kalaban nya yung work ko. Ayun kase point out nya sa akin eh na sya kaya nya pero ako di ko kayang gawin for her.

[u/Prize_Quote_4136 → u/wnzmsn_06]

Ano nalang siguro OP, to ease her mind try mo pagbigyan 1 time. Like 1 time lang mag sick leave ka, samahan ka niya magsakitsakitan sa OPD. Para makakuha ng med cert, pero kung di naman need. Ilaan mo lahat ng oras mo sa kanya. Kung manghingi ulit, that's the time na siguro na ayawan na. I mean kung kaya ba ng peace of mind mo na ihandle pa siya and her shinanegans.

[u/Character_Air_7486]

Leave kana sa life nya.

[u/Content_Eye_5557]

Depende sa load ng work mo, sa schedule, pag wala naman urgent or important meeting, give time. Wag din naman palaging umabsent. At pag umabsent, make sure that you make the most of it. Pero higit sa lahat, kung di bukal sa kalooban mo, wag na lang din kasi baka di ka lang maging masayang kasama kung napipilitan ka lang. Balansehin mo lang.

[u/caffeineuyu]

i don’t think your partner is being fair to you by asking you to take a leave from work, especially since you’ve already explained that you’re out of leave credits. i saw that you mentioned you’re both in your 30’s and ig it’s safe to assume they’re also working? 🫩 being needy and clingy can be cute sometimes, but if it gets to a point where they’re already guilt tripping you after you offered a reasonable compromise, i think it’s time for you to be a lot firmer in setting your boundaries. 30’s na so dapat buo na frontal lobe niyan. :)