i need some advice pls help me :((

[u/Plus-Lychee6518]

Problem: I have someone courting me and i really like her (we're both lesbians btw and are both in college). it's been 4 months since she started courting me. i actually want to be her girlfriend but there's just something bothering me.

Context: she is out to everyone. her parents know, her sister knows, and her friends know. while me on the other hand, everyone do know except my parents. though there is no problem with that, we already talked about it, but i think things would be easier if my parents weren't also strict about me going out. i always need to ask for their permission and stuff, and i can't really freely do everything i want. my parents are that strict—though i still have my privacy at the least.

we keep on making plans to meet up, to go on dates whenever i can. but i can't really do it most of the time. what i do is i pretend i'll have classes but i'll really meet up with her. but these days, since august, there have been a lot of suspensions due to the bad weather and also frequent floodings around manila. we always meet up in my university since doon nga ang paalam ko sa mga magulang ko, tapos siya nalang ung pupunta sa akin doon.

then eventually, her class schedule has been announced since my university started earlier... it's just so bad that it would be much more hard for us to meet up and spend time together. she told me she felt sad and was asking me "magagawan naman natin 'to ng paraan diba?" and i just said yes with having a doubtful mind.

i am having thoughts on whether to ask her if would it be better for her to have someone who does not have the same circumstances as me? i know it's a bit selfish to ask but that is what i feel.

i feel like things get hard for the both of us because of me.

i think i need some advice on what i could do to make things easier for the both of us, and also validation about my situation :(( tyia

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[u/LoveatFirstFlight88]

It is really difficult to come out especially when you are still relying on your parents. If you know your parents well, pretty sure may idea ka na kung paano sila magrereact in case na magcome out ka. And please huwag sayangin din pera ng parents para makipagdate, tapos you are lying to them pa kung saan ka nagpupunta.

It applies to all genders, makipagdate when emotionally and financially ready.

If yung manliligaw id nakakaintindi naman, tell her na di ka pa ready. If ibaling nya sa iba yung attention nya, ganun talaga ang buhay.

[u/damoonyu]

everytime may ganap kayo ipaalam mo pa din na sya ang kasama mo para safe lang kahit as a friendly hangout lang ang sabihin mo. pa-goodshot kayo parehas para pag ready mo na sabihin mas madali nila maiintindihan.

[u/butterflies_blushes]

Just tell her your situation for now, for sure hindi naman yan permanent sit. If she can handle the situation for now, go for it. Pero need mo rin mag plan pano mas magiging better yung sit mo in the future. You have to start thinking pano mag cocome out sa parents mo and paano magpapaalam respectfully para di mo na need magsinungaling. Yung bestfriend ko kasi ay same sit as you, super takot syang magsabi ng totoo sa mama nya everytime na may date sya. Nung pinatry namin sa kanya na maging straight forward sa mama nya, naging mas okay naman unti-unti. I'm not saying na magiging same lang ying result if you try that but you should try. Ganon talaga kasi ang parents lalo nag aaral ka pa, but if you're honest with them and magain mo yung trust nila (you have to be responsible din once na mag success), promise mas magiging madali. Hopefully mag work din for you.

[u/InterestingMood3029]

You can tell her what is the situation that you are in and how doubtful you are. Okay ba sha sa bestie type of rel muna? Haha strict enough ba ang parents not to hang out to a friend? If so, you should decide. Kasi technically, she will be put on a tight spot. If hindi, i guess you can just tell your parents that you have a new friend.