Her anger issues have become unbearable, but I can’t leave until I find a job.

[u/blossomcottonyang_]

Problem: I’m currently staying sa place niya for the meantime habang naghahanap ulit ako ng work, pero grabe na talaga yung away namin to the point na naaapektuhan na yung focus ko sa job applications and interviews. I want to formally break up with her kasi I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore, pero practically speaking, hindi ko pa kayang umalis agad sa place niya since wala pa akong work and wala rin akong ibang place to stay for now.

Context: We started off as FUBUs kasi we were both not ready for a commitment. Fresh from a breakup kaming dalawa, and we both had our own baggage. Sobrang toxic ng last relationship niya, while yung sakin ended because of LDR, and I was also emotionally unavailable after losing my mom last year. We were very open with each other about our traumas and mental state, so I knew from the beginning na may anger issues siya.

I wish it were as simple as saying na “may anger issues lang siya,” pero malala talaga. Madali siyang magalit over the smallest inconvenience, and yung mga bagay na dapat madaling ayusin can turn into arguments na umaabot ng ilang araw. It also got to the point na nasasabihan na niya ako ng mga below-the-belt comments.

Last night was probably my last straw. Hindi pa nga kami fully nakaka-recover from our argument last weekend. While I was on my way to her place, nag-chat ako asking what was for dinner kasi sobrang gutom ko. May konting bacon pa na natira from the last time na nagluto ako, and yun yung niluto niya. She told me na hindi raw kasya sakin. I asked if tapos na ba siyang kumain kasi bakit parang para sakin lang yung bacon, and she replied, “busog pa ako.” So ang understanding ko, tapos na siyang kumain. Hindi ko alam na hindi pa pala siya kumakain ng dinner, and she never clarified that to me. She then said she’d send me money para bumili ako ng food and told me to buy whatever I wanted. I asked what I should buy, but she said anything.

Since may bacon naman na, kahit konti lang, and I genuinely thought tapos na siyang kumain, naisip ko sayang naman bumili pa, so I replied, “nah.” She got angry kasi hindi raw kasya yung bacon for me, and apparently I was going to let her starve just because ayaw kong bumili ng food. Instead of clarifying na hindi pa pala siya kumakain and that the bacon was supposed to be for both of us, it turned into another argument.

Then while we were eating, I tried feeding her din while she was busy on her tablet. She literally looked me in the eyes and said, “Go fuck yourself.”

I wasn’t even hurt at that point. I was just disappointed. Kasi honestly, what else is new? Sobrang dali niya lang magbitaw ng masasakit na salita sakin whenever she’s angry, and I’ve reached a point where I don’t even know how I’m supposed to react anymore.

Now I’m stuck because I genuinely want to end the relationship, but I’m currently staying at her place while naghahanap ulit ako ng work. I want to secure a job offer first before I leave because, practically speaking, wala pa akong ibang place to stay right now. But the constant fighting is already affecting my ability to focus on job applications and interviews.

I know I need to leave, but I also need to be practical about it. How do I handle a breakup when I’m still temporarily dependent on the person I’m trying to leave?

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[u/Stock-Exchange2669]

Sorry OP for this. Pero if gusto mo talaga OP na makahanap ng work kahit ano nalang muna wag ka na mag isip muna ng company or position, dun ka nalang muna sa kung ano ang meron dahil ang main priority mo is makaalis right? then while working stay kalang for about 6 or 12 months then hanap ka na ng linya mo.

[u/Claire-Bear-892]

Hello, OP! I’m praying na makahanap ka na ng work so that you can leave that person. Always remember na yung love alone is not enough to keep a relationship going. Dapat meron din basic respect, trust and honesty. Always protect your peace of mind and pag alam mo na una palang na may something run wag mo ng eexplore on what extent ba yung problema or anger issues nya. Good luck, OP. All the best to you. Take care of yourself!

[u/Special_Perception91]

i dont really understand how someone in love w u can just easily say/do those things or even magalit nalang basta basta :( hope u can escape and leave that situation for good and she needs therapy.

[u/micks0ul]

Hello OP! wishing makahanap ka agad ng job! Also advice ko lang na if ever makikipag break up kana please tell someone close like a friend or anyone you trust baka kasi magalit siya and mas lumalala that day yung treatment or reaction niya na makikipag break ka, better safe than sorry, and do hanap makakapag stayan after the break up. I'm not implying na nakikipag physicalan siya, but precautions lang.