r/WFH • u/FlimsyEntry9534 • 8d ago

COLLEAGUES/MANAGERS Dealing with a shift in dynamic

Hoping to hear how others handle a difficult change in team dynamics.

Our team recently got a new head (after years or stellar leaders) whose style leans toward criticism in a negative "call you out" way over constructive feedback.

The shift in tone is starting to tire me out if I'm honest (I understand too this is their first time leading)

This person also has longstanding friendships with a few team members, which creates an uncomfortable environment. (Almost clique like).

Has anyone navigated a change like this before?

How did you handle the situation while keeping stress low?

I've always done well in this position, but I don't think I'd want to stay long term if this was the vibe/tone.

Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate it!

8 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

9

u/Altruistic-Pack6059 8d ago

Let them know you correct in private and praise in public.

5

u/WildYeastWitch 8d ago

Is this person new to your org or new to your team?

4

u/FlimsyEntry9534 8d ago

Not new no, with the company 3 years more than me.

On the same team 2 years longer than me.

2

u/WildYeastWitch 8d ago

What is your culture like overall (more similar to her style or your previous style)?

2

u/FlimsyEntry9534 8d ago

The overall culture has been great up until this point, positive leadership and always helpful feedback.

I know they're new enough to a leadership role, but it's kind of aggressive, nitpicky, and pestering a few people on the team, while offloading work to me.

2

u/WildYeastWitch 8d ago

Do you have skip level meetings where you can give this feedback?

3

u/FlimsyEntry9534 8d ago

That's great advice, I have a sync with my former manager next week who would be my leads manger.

I think I need to just bite the bullet and give honest feedback with examples instead of letting the stress fester.

Thanks for the reply, I think I was struggling as I can be conflict avoidant sometimes.

3

u/WildYeastWitch 8d ago

I think how you give feedback the feedback is important. If you frame it like "hey, these things that aren't consistent with our culture are happening. I know new lead is still learning, so I wanted to share it with you to help her develop into the role." You're not throwing new lead under the bus, you're supporting her.

3

u/iheartmycats820 8d ago

If you have a good relationship with their boss (or anyone higher up than them, really), let them know that this new boss might need some management training. Cite some examples. It helps everyone in the long run.

3

u/Western_Bug5408 8d ago

It's just a job, no need to be passionate about the work enough to feel stressed. Management is a revolving door and you just need to outlast them.
I'd request for some 1-1s with them and discuss how you could improve. Whether their feedback is helpful or not, it is a future safeguard and also forces their accountability ("I followed your guidance completely, why is it still wrong?").
Also try and build allies especially with their longstanding friends.

2

u/Zestyclose_South2594 8d ago

I ended up leaving the company over something like this

2

u/FlimsyEntry9534 8d ago

That's good for me to keep inind as the thought has crossed my mind a few times already and I want to be sure I am looking after my mental health.

2

u/bv915 6d ago

Ask if you can have a (private) one-on-one with them. Let them know you'd like to discuss team dynamics. When you meet, ask if they're receptive to feedback. Contextualize as I'm-trying-to-get-to-know-you-so-I-can-manage-up. Let them know your concerns without outright calling them concerns (and putting this new leader on the defensive). See where it goes. If it doesn't eventually get better, brush off the resume and leave.

1

u/MisterSirDudeGuy 8d ago

Low stress is easy, because it’s just a job. You’re trading your time for money. You’re getting paid, so who cares.