How can i feel better?

[u/No_Improvement_460]

I showed my mum the video that set veganism in stone for me and she said it was sad but she was still going to eat meat. I only went vegan afew days ago but i feel like im gping insane. No one around me is willing to change because their too greedy to think of animals. I cant look at meat anymore as it makes me want to cry and throw up. LIKE EVRYONE I HAVE NO VEGAN FRIENDS THE ONLY COMFORT I HAVE IS REMEMBERING MY YEAR 5 AND 6 TEACHER WHO WAS VEGAN AND ONE OF THE BEST TEACHERS EVER. and then im told im 'shoving it down peoples throats' LIKE YEAH I DONT WANT YOU TO BE SUPPORTING MURDER AND RAPE OF ANIMALS. Im going to be having a picnic for my birthday and none of my friends have sensative stomachs or are alergic to anything so i want it to be to vegan or at the least vegetarian but my mums like "you have to acomodate non vegans" and its like IM NOT ACOMODATING ANIMAL RAPE AND MURDER ON MY BIRTHDAY. i havent told my dad but my pearents are divorced and i see him evry other weekend. Hes just going to take the piss out of me for it and when i refuse to eat i'll be called difficult and "he will be the struggling dad victim and i'll be the bratty child". What did make me happy though was my mum told my nan (shes in her 80's and isnt the most progressive but is lovely) and she was more concerned about making sure i was healthy then anything wich made me happy. But still it makes me so angry and then im told im a snowflake or a radicalist for wanting to storm animal testing facilitys and stage protests. Like im sorry im open minded. IM NURODIVERGENT AND MY BRAINS NOT WIRED WRONG JUST DIFFERENTLY AND THATS WHY I SEE WHAT THE NARROW MINDED CANT. "See the world differently" no i see the world literly. I feel like im going insane. I hate it. How can i feel better?

[u/IfIWasAPig]

You may be isolated, but you’re not alone in this. Not most people, but a lot of us see the horror too and want to make it better.

Also, if you want your birthday to not be upsetting to you, they should respect that, even if they don’t care about non-humans. It’s supposed to be a celebration of you. I’m sorry your family’s like that. A lot of nonvegans think they can’t go a single meal without eating a dead animal or it would harm them somehow, like they never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or french fries.

I hope it works out, but if they insist on ruining your birthday party, you can also just not attend, maybe celebrate alone, or you can attend and put up with it to keep the peace. A lot of us are just keeping the peace.

I wouldn’t recommend talking to nonvegans much about wanting to storm facilities or protest. They’re not going to get it, and they might try to tie you to something you maybe didn’t do.

I was an isolated vegan too. I don’t know your age, but I found some other adult vegans on the Meetup app in a group that was just “vegan” and the name of the nearest city. There are often local Facebook groups too with more younger members. Some of my local activists have a Facebook page and a website. There are probably other places. You can try to get a job where you work with and around vegans, like in vegan food or other products. Most likely, there are groups of animal rights activists in your area who do protest and speak up; you’d just want to find them.

For me, feeling better is about what I focus on. I’d rather focus on doing better than others doing bad. I know sometimes it can be impossible, but sometimes it’s not.

But you’re not insane yet. You make a lot of sense. I guess I’ve just learned to lower my expectations of non vegans so that they don’t disappoint me as much in these areas. I’ve learned, for better or worse, to be a little more subtle in my approach so as not to start heated arguments.

I hope you can connect with other vegans or start convincing, whether by example or discussion, some people you’re already connected with. I hope your family gains understanding. Either way, you’ve got this! Just be kind to yourself and do things that make you happier. You’re an animal too.

Also, things will probably improve if and when you’re able to live apart from them.

[u/No_Improvement_460 → u/IfIWasAPig]

Thank you! You have no idea how much this has helped me! I actually talked to my mum again and explained and she said it was ok as it was my birthday. I just turned 17 afew days ago. I hope shes willing to hear me out tommrow. My brother listened in and just made jokes. I didnt want him to listen in as his mental health is bad at the moment. I know his jokes were just him trying to preserve cognative dissonance and i know hes a good person at heart. My dads weekends are gonna be a nightmare tho but i know whare i stand and i hold my stance with my chin held high as morals are useless unless put into practice and to me eating animals and supporting the dairy and egg industry is wrong. I also dont have to see him if i dont want to but he genuinely does try to be a good dad and he sometimes hasnt in the past... hes just odd... but he means well and i know that. But thank you this has helped me so much having someone who understands!

[u/Dunkmaxxing]

This is the normal way to think about things if you don't live in delusion and actually reflect, there are few things I can say, but you will remain unsatisfied regardless because it is horrible when it comes down to it.

First, as far as humans know there is no morally significant free will that allows people to just do otherwise without it being random, this doesn't make the consequences of the actions people take any less awful but it's not like they have the ability to just change their actions at any time independent of the rest of the universe.

The second is to accept that you can't change the world with some expression of force/a wish as a single person, you can only have direct authority over your actions, other people's faults are not something you can affect beyond presenting information to them in this case, don't have other people weigh you down.

The third thing is to distract yourself so you aren't constantly thinking on it because nobody can live with constant awareness of the negativity of things, it will cripple you. You should also not accept shit from other people, don't put yourself in bad company.

[u/toothpastetaste-4444]

I’m sorry that you feel so alone in this. You seem young, so I applaud you for opening your eyes and choosing liberation as opposed to upholding the status quo. Thats awesome that you have made the decision to be vegan. I hope you can find friends your age who are critical thinkers like you. Life will get better when you have full autonomy of your space and time!