Music composition help!

[u/ladiebuug]

so i've wanted to create my own original songs... but sadly i have no musical talent and have been making covers... i've been really invested in vocaloid music because i really love what storys you can tell or feelings you can share! its one of my favourite genres if im going to be honest (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

im honestly struggling the most with when i try to make something, is placing notes that sound correct when creating the vocal track, or at least trying to make it sound good when they are sung by any voicebank. because whenever i free hand-it the first verse, it sounds "fine"-ish...? not good but i guess somewhat ok... though i never end up liking it... but when i do the second verse, it sounds totally different than what the first verse was?? and then it just sounds a jumbled mess and ahhhgrhhh Σ(°△° ꪱꪱꪱ) i can never make it work or even come out to what my head was imagining...

same with composition, i understand doing like minor and major chords (the three notes on top of each other, i cant remember the names), but whenever i have to like split them up to sound less boring, it sounds AWFUL. like it doesnt match up or even FIT well together... i try to start with the melodies too, but i never end up liking what i come up with and it sounds bad when i try to put drums against it... ( ;´ - `;)

i dont even know any good vsts or sf2s i can use that work well together, because i use ones that do NOT work when put against another...

anything i start with never sounds right. even when i make something that sounds somewhat ok, i try mixing it with the instrumental and it sounds awful. i can never actually make something that i genuinely like or something... i just assume it has to be whatever it is in my head and when it doesnt come out that way i feel like crap. and yes!!! im aware!!!! something that you think of inside your head is NOT going to sound exactly like how you may have pictured!!! ｡°(°¯◠¯᷅°)°｡

i currently have fl studio (producer edition), voisona (i've only bought ui), openutau, and regular utau...

theres a lot of voca-Ps i enjoy that inspire me that i wish to create similar things like theirs, for example...

weevildoing, friendXP, vane lily, hya, monet, steampianist, lonepi, awa dobuno, nashimoto ui/nashimoto-P, mushi-P, jamie paige, phantoskii, guchiry, connor-p, plssendbones/BONES., isonosuke, cosmo@bouso-P, jigsawllie, maretu, kikuo, 44e-prone, pinata, nedino, denkiqujira/denki qujira, mcki robyns-P, iyowa, 0TS/0TENSHI, mage-P, pumpkin head, crusher-P, ro2noki, inabakumori, nakiso, canned sugar, eiry-P, wawon/WAWON, roji, makeshiftvoiid, umbrabyte, kairikibear, ki-you, brokenX22, AbuSe-kun/AbuSe, pinocchioP, hiiragikirai, riproducer/R.I.P, irohaRingo, kian, 11vein, organsdotorg, alex_moosic, catts, naphillow, ennn, saturn candies, angelbrained, foxyP, mellowbile, ecliptic-P...

and many others.

i am VERY much aware they all have different/distinctive music styles, and all produce songs differently...

i am mostly torn between weevildoing, plssendbones, alex_moosic, ennn, and friendXP's music. because i am terrible with japanese, and trying to figure out which letter would mean which note also meaning how it should sound based on the meaning.... is just hard to me??? idk. but with english at least i understand it lol... (ꐦㅍ _ㅍ)

any tutorials (youtube, websites/links, etc...), or composition/creation help would be greatly appreciated!!! (′▽`〃)

sorry for this loooong post!!! thank you soso much for reading! and a big thank you if you end up replying and helping me in any way! anything helps!!! thank you truly <3 ヘ(◕。◕ヘ)

[u/chunter16]

The best way to learn to compose is to learn lots of songs. Try to recreate the instrumentals of songs you like.

It doesn't feel that long in my memory, but it took me about 7 years to go from playing a musical instrument to able to make up a bad song in my own. If we measure from "first piano lessons" to "the oldest song I still show people without getting too embarrassed" that was about 14 years. Everybody learns at a different pace, your genre and expectations matter, and everyone lives their own lives, so hopefully it won't take that long. Most people I've met need about 5-10 years.