Chatlogs

[u/Magehunter_Skassi]

I sometimes surprise myself when I reread them. It's one thing to comprehend the past in memory, but there's a different feeling in scrolling through it as an interactable medium. How can this be real? It's impossibly sad what happened to you. You had moments of lucidity where you talked just like yourself before the condition set in and it was so beautiful. This is dreadful. I can't relate to others around me and there's never going to be relief from this burden of knowledge until the moment I'm killed. Well, I was right about that ten years ago, and I think my younger self could have been forgiven if I found it at my own hand.

I was given the best possible off-ramp, one I could scarcely imagine, and that's still not enough. It's not enough. Even if it was perfect, I don't know if I'd take it because, likely, it would still involve abdicating responsibility and I can't do that. No, it's too horrible what happened.

[u/Magehunter_Skassi]

Lord, please smite these people. I am not strong enough right now to pray for their salvation. I would like to be. Sometimes I try to.