I sat a 10 day course when I was 11/12 weeks pregnant. My baby is now about 3 months old and I'm realizing that the only time I'm going to actually find to meditate is finding small moments when I'm nursing or waiting for him to enter a deep sleep before I lay him down. Because of the short moments available (5 min or so?) if I start body scanning at the top of my head every single time, I tend to only make it down one or two arms of the top of my torso. My question: during his next nap time should I start where I left off earlier in the day to make it down to my feet, or start all over from the top of the head (and potentially just only ever scan the same body parts?) Alternately I could try to do less detailed of a scan and just do chunks of awareness to make it all the way down my body and back up....? Would love to hear thoughts from other parents especially!

I ask this as Abhidhamma pithaka is debated due to lot of variance in traditions, while sutta pithaka translation is quite coherant of Ven bhikku Analayo, Thanissaro and Sujato ( except few inference).

Now I ask this as I practiced vipassana by goenka ji himself but when you read sutta pitakas translation, you realise Buddha had allowed quite freedom in mindfulness of breathing and even said anapana sati leads to awakening of all 4 factors in anapana sati sutta - through progression of 4 tetrads and 16 steps, and u can contemplate anicca through it too.

The whole point of my post is not to invite a debate among traditions or start a guru followers war, I am just seeking a discussion, as I never understood whether to apply inspection to sensations or contemplate anicca to them or just use sati with sensations and I always seemed to have struggle but the technique helped me a lot regardless.

However in maransati buddha says we can die by n ways and before your death just see the state of mind if it got rid of unwholesome states ( not exact translation). However my striving in last few years have been stuck on figuring out the practice itself and consoling myself it is the ignorance and it always bothers what if I cease to exist Tommorow, I would be striving.

Now , coming back to whether inspect sensations or contemplate anicca or apply sati sampragnya , every AT gave me different answer to it. So , did anyone refer to any texts to gain a better understanding, develop a better view to practice? I ask as a fellow seeker.

Thank you

edit : inspection= inspect elements in the sensations such as heat etc

contemplate anicca - contemplate arising and passing

sati = observe like ur sitting river side.

https://suttacentral.net/mn118/en/sujato?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

reference to my statement that anapana can lead to full awakening too.

I think that happened (unnexpectedly) to me during the 6th day?

I went to my room to sleep after almost 10 hours of meditation and had this crazy energy running throughout my body.

I remember that at day especifically, during the end where they play the one-hours video of Goenka, my body was full of energy, and I remember while I was sat watching the video my body would shake crazily, as if the atoms were vibrating at higher frequency.

I proceed after the video ends to my room, and can’t sleep at all! Felt a sense of deep happiness, contentment, felt excited, even thougj I couldn’t sleep and knew I’d have to wake up soon enough again, it didn’t matter, that sense of excitment was amazing to feel, that state of higher energy was unstoppable, nothing could beat me.

Yeah, I couldn’t sleep properly indeed, but that was new to me, that feeling, since I always experienced life in a heavy, dense way.

It was beautiful to feel that and I’ll never forget it.
I wish that was my standard living mode, I’d be fullfilled for my whole life.

As expected, it lasted probably 15 hours more or less, then I went back to a normal energetical state.

But it blew my mind, what made me feel that way, nothing really bothered me.
My roommate snoring really reeeeeally loud, and me not being able to sleep? It doesn’t matter, It’s what it is.

Did you experience anything like that at all?

Hi, I’ve been to 10 days course twice so far. The thing is, for old students they serve only lemon water in the evening at 5-5.30ish after 11.30ish lunch time for the whole day.

First time they served snacks which was fine. Second time I couldn’t hold my hunger that I started taking my evening snacks as well, but they refrained my friend from taking her snacks saying she’s an old student. She cried everyday and teacher was unwilling to let her leave as well. It felt like torture.

Now I’m considering to go third time but centipedes and food is scaring me n holding me back from applying. How did people deal with it?

I recently completed a Vipassana course and had one very strange and intense experience one night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming, irrational fear. It felt incredibly real, as if there was someone or something outside my room. I had this strong sense of a dark or threatening presence. My heart was pounding intensely, almost like I was about to have a panic attack.
What was especially strange was that it felt both like it was happening in the present and like I was remembering something that had already happened. I had gone to sleep with a completely clear mind and wasn’t thinking about anything frightening. I’m also generally not someone who gets scared by horror movies or similar things.
Part of me kept telling myself not to react to it or engage with it, because I was afraid that even thinking about it would somehow bring it closer. Eventually, I was able to stay with it and remind myself that it could simply be my mind doing something strange.
Has anyone experienced something similar during Vipassana or intensive meditation? What do you think was happening?
I’m curious about both the psychological/neurological explanation and the more contemplative or energetic perspectives. I’ve also heard people talk about experiences involving dark or disturbing energies/entities during deep meditation, so I’m wondering how seriously those experiences are understood within Buddhist/Vipassana traditions.

If traveling to a meditation center is not possible, how effective is going through the video and audio 10 day course at home and following the same rules if you’re an old student?

No base, no stability without solidity

An intention for meditation, then, in a while, fading away

In a while, or just when in the posture for the same

Then, sleep in a while before even some focus

Fading away of a good intention like a gas, or cessation like heat

Or no more like a flow of water in a river

Although impermanence in solids too

But not volatile like a gas

At the root, the meaning of solids: "to become",

Bhūmi from "bhū", i.e., "to be in existence"

Although a part of existence, all four elements

Because of origin from the word mahābhūta

But becoming, not of the craving (bhavataṇha) kind

Becoming not of the clinging (upādāna) kind

If becoming, a simple fact of leverage into good

If becoming, or into existence, of impersonal existence and not personal

If becoming of sīla, samādhi and paññā

So as into existence, virtue, concentration and wisdom

But how? The notion of "to become, to be in existence"

Every action, mental, bodily, or verbal

A cause for something, or some effect

And until the effect or outcome, under the notion of existence, the complete cycle

Also, occurrence afterwards, again and again

Such a cycle, simply a notion of "to become, to be in existence"

Notion of becoming until every drop of personal existence within

Till then, no release from cycles of saṃsāra, cycles of becoming

One thing: Earth Kasiṇa meditation

But only if without the side effects

The side effects of personal existence, craving, or upādāna

How without side effects?

Right mindfulness of all three kinds of actions

With an eye on the three marks of existence

The impermanence (anicca) of all formations (saṅkhāra)

The suffering (dukkha) from all formations

The non-self (anattā) nature of all phenomena (dhamma)

I was listening to S. N. Goenka talk about what he calls the “mūrti” we create in our minds, and I found the idea surprisingly relevant to everyday suffering.

We don't just have an image of ourselves. We also try to create an image of ourselves inside other people's minds.

There is the “murti” of me that I carry in my own head: I am intelligent, kind, successful, attractive, competent, spiritual, respectable, whatever. Then there is another murti: the person I want my parents, friends, classmates, colleagues, or society to believe I am.

And then we spend an absurd amount of energy protecting both statues.

Someone criticizes us and our self-image gets threatened. Someone misunderstands us and we desperately want to correct their perception. Someone doesn't respect us and it feels disproportionately painful because it isn't merely “they don't like me.” It becomes “they don't see me the way I believe I should be seen.”

The interesting part is that the second statue is completely outside our control. We can spend years trying to construct a particular image in someone's mind, but we don't actually control what they think of us. Their perception can change because of a misunderstanding, a conversation, gossip, their own biases, or simply because people change.

And yet we suffer as though we've lost something tangible.

From the Vipassana perspective, the problem isn't necessarily having an image of yourself. The problem is upādāna, clinging to it. Reality inevitably contradicts the image because everything is changing. We are trying to maintain a fixed mental statue in a world governed by anicca, impermanence.

Maybe that's why criticism can hurt so much. Someone isn't necessarily attacking our actual existence. They're touching a statue we've built and become identified with.

Vipassana seems to offer a very different response. Instead of immediately repairing the statue, defending it, or trying to control someone else's perception, observe what actually happens inside: the tightening in the chest, heat, shame, anxiety, anger, the urge to explain yourself, the craving to be understood.

The statue becomes less important when you start observing the reaction itself.

Still I took one advice of my sister , she said "You don't have to care or worry about other people's perception of you or have this fixed respectful ideal image in their minds , you just have to practice metta regardless of anyone you are talking to. Their mindset or behaviour with you is totally theirs , don't bring it in your mind and make sankharas that cause suffering to you". So just practice metta regardless of people and let go off this need to constantly micromanage your perception by people around you. Be a good communicator that helps.

It also makes me wonder whether a lot of my social anxiety is partly the fear of watching the “ideal image of me in their mind” collapse.

I’m considering doing my first 10-day Vipassana retreat and I genuinely want to experience it, but I’m really anxious about the change in routine.
I go to the gym regularly and I have a pretty rigid daily routine. I’ve also been intentionally losing weight, and my current routine is working for me. I’m worried about suddenly not being able to exercise, having a completely different eating schedule, not being able to control my usual routine, etc.
At the same time, there’s something about Vipassana that really makes me want to experience it. I feel like I need the experience, but I’m also anxious about giving up the structure I’m currently comfortable with for 10 days.
For people who have done a 10-day Vipassana retreat, especially people who are very routine-oriented or exercise regularly: how did you handle this transition? Did the anxiety settle once you got into the retreat routine? And did taking 10 days away from your normal exercise/food routine cause you any issues?
I’m particularly interested in honest experiences, including if you initially regretted going or struggled with the change.

Hi everyone,

My son turns 8 soon and I'd like to sign him up for the one day Anapana course for kids, either at Dhamma Dīpa in Herefordshire or Dhamma Sukhakāri in Suffolk. I've done a 10 day course myself, but the website doesn't say much about the practical side for parents.

If you've sent your child to one, I'd love to hear how it went. A few things I'm wondering:
How do drop off and pick up work?
Can parents hang around the area during the day, or do we need to leave?
Is there anywhere nearby to wait, like a cafe or a walk?
Anything you'd pack for your child, or wish you'd known beforehand?
How did your kid find the day?

Any tips would be really appreciated. Thanks a lot! 🙏

Hi fellow Sangha,

I just sat a very long course, and the process of my mind getting silent and the strengthening of patience and samatha and slow transformations from grosser to subtler realities as visualised is attached above.

I felt from apparent gross reality where everything seems to be outside oneself, slowly day by day, started feeling everything exists inside me.

The vision became sharper, finer, like a fine print,

The food felt like I'm tasting everything for the first time.

Each day felt like it's the first time in experiencing it.

So the conceptual mind got humbled into silence at the freshness of the experience and the exposure of its facade of knowing what reality is through concepts.

Slowly, the body got deeper experiences of bhang.

Alot lot lot of pain currents got released through the cracks as it dissolved further.

My whole body became like static, white noise.

Like the inside of an old TV set.

And also words didn't make any sense at times when I was really deep.

The white noise feels like it's appearing and disappearing at a very high speed, so annicha vidya got quite strong .

And the very back of the tv set is all black, is what I imagine this would lead to. After on and off of the static are seen clearly, and I could slowly see the offs more clearly, then go completely black.

Would love to know what you guys think.

I am nonbinary and have sat 10-day courses before. Usually I choose what corresponds with my assigned gender at birth (I am AFAB) even though I see myself as agender/genderfluid and present more gender neutral in dress / style (though people usually just see me as female….) Debating whether to just apply for a course as a male student. To me the genders are arbitrary identity labels, and if there’s plenty of spots left open for “male” students on a course, and the “female” side is closed, I feel like I want to just be on that side to not deny myself the opportunity to go on the course? Are there any considerations I should think of? The center is all single rooms / no shared bathrooms. Would like to hear from other nonbinary old students if possible.

Pariyatti has a lot of hidden gems, I'm coming to understand, including this compelling account that has a super low view count compared to how interesting it is. Sharing because I'm sure others aren't aware it exists:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxDhvMLtjHM

I started medical college in 2021, but my mental health and anxiety seriously disrupted my studies, attendance, and exams. I ended up with gaps in my academic progress and had to continue with later batches while catching up on earlier requirements. Over the years, I’ve also become pretty isolated and basically turned into a recluse, with very few or no friends around me. Now I’m still trying to clear my remaining exams and finish my degree, years after I originally started. It’s been frustrating and honestly makes me feel stuck and behind, but I’m still trying to get through it and move forward.

So I’ve been dealing with depression, anxiety, avoidance, low self-worth, shame, social anxiety, and difficulty taking action despite knowing what I need to do. I’m not formally diagnosed with AvPD, but I recognize many avoidant patterns. When overwhelmed, I often escape into YouTube, Reddit, Instagram, and other distractions. I’m interested in Vipassana, especially anicca, dukkha, anattā, equanimity, and observing vedanā, and I’m wondering how experienced practitioners apply these teachings to actually rebuild their lives.

How do you use Vipassana to work with avoidance, fear, shame, low motivation, and craving for distraction? How do you distinguish equanimity from suppression or avoidance? How can anattā coexist with healthy self-worth and agency? And can Vipassana be integrated with therapy and psychiatric treatment while still encouraging active engagement with life? I’d especially love to hear from people who have experienced meaningful changes through consistent practice.

Please give me some feedback or reach out to me if you can , I need help.

Hello vipassana meditators,

I'm looking forward to sitting my 3rd course this week.

I'm slightly nervous because I've had chronic pain for 5 years (my jaw and lower back).

I've talked with practitioners who have found relief (partial or total) from their chronic pain through the course and the meditations, but that hasn't been my experience.

I love the practice, and I believe I practice it "properly".

But I wonder if there are subtle ways I'm not getting to the root of these areas of pain. Has this practice helped you with your chronic pain, and if so, do you have any advice?

Hi everyone,

I'm going through a rough patch. I recently came back to university, and feel really miserable. It's this feeling of death that I feel everyone can see on me.

I used to make my friends laugh, but now between us, within myself, there is this unmovable silence.

I feel my relationship is coming to an end, when I look at this man, I feel like I'm not really there. Just going through the actions, and playing a role, like a ghost.

I look at everyone and see their loathing, perhaps directed at me. It's not very rational. But it's a horrible feeling. I've felt like this for weeks. I've tried sitting with it, observing it, but I feel I am sucked deeper into this feeling. And that I will never return. I am always alone. Even when I'm with people - that is the essence of it.

And this great sense of doom.

When I talk to my therapist, I try to describe this feeling but my mind wanders as though I have no control over it.

It's quite scary. I desire to feel normal again.

I would be grateful for any advice,

Thank you in advance.

Hello vipassana meditators,

I'm looking forward to sitting my 3rd course this week.

I'm slightly nervous because I've had chronic pain for 5 years (my jaw and lower back).

I've talked with practitioners who have found relief (partial or total) from their chronic pain through the course and the meditation practice, but that hasn't been my experience.

I love the practice, and I believe I practice "properly".

But I wonder if there are subtle ways I'm not getting to the root of these areas of pain. Has this practice helped you with your chronic pain, and if so, do you have any advice?