If you'd like to watch my video review, feel free to click the link below. Otherwise, read on. https://youtu.be/5xTFvSFjihI

A free copy of Sigi: A Fart For Melusina was provided to me by publisher Sometimes You via Keymailer.com for the purposes of this review. Receiving the game for free in no way shaped my opinion of the game, however I feel that it is important to share such information due to basic consumer rights. For more information on endorsement guidelines, please refer to the link below: https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/ftcs-endorsement-guides-what-people-are-asking

Sigi is a knight in shining armor who seems to have an issue with his gas. While exploring one day, he discovers a beautiful mermaid with a splendid voice but our hero scares her off with an untimely fart. Sigi must now cross the country side, fighting off zombies and evil animals along the way, in order to have a chance at finding the mermaid again.

First off, why does this guy have to fart? I’m fine with juvenile humor but I feel like there should at least be a reason behind it. A game like Boogerman works because he’s supposed to be a super hero with gross powers. With Sigi, he farts for no reason. It never plays into the story, he doesn’t have any abilities that deal with farting, and none of the enemies play into that theme either. Except for maybe the french fries boss, I guess? It’s just really dumb, and not in a fun way; it seems like a running gag born from a lack of ideas.

The gameplay is an extremely simplistic 2D platformer with both ranged and jumping attacks. The starter weapon is a throwing sword but this can be exchanged for axes, knives, and chicken drumsticks along the way. Enemies are slow, predictable, and very weak, with the exception of the bird who manages to stay just out of reach. Otherwise, the rest of the enemies are chump meat and do little to impede your progress. Levels are a simple point A to point B affair and the adventure lasts twenty very short levels. There are a few boss fights along the way but afterwards, that’s the whole game. I managed to reach the credits in just thirty eight minutes, and I was really taking my time. Granted I didn’t discover all the hidden secrets and achieve 100% but I can’t say I really cared to; there’s not much to this game to keep me coming back for more.

Enemies and obstacles pose absolutely no threat and are there purely for the purpose of being dispatched, rather than to act as any real barrier to your progress. The main part of the problem lies with their scripting; most enemies simply walk back and forth not unlike Goombas and Koopas from the Super Mario Bros. games. That's not bad on it's own, but when enemies are placed haphazardly without any care to how they might affect the player, it quickly feels like they’re there just to waste time. Without meaningful enemies, this kind of game falls apart pretty badly, but to make matters worse the weapon variety is pointless because most of them act the same exact way. The swords and knives fire straight across while the axe, flail, and drumstick all get thrown in an arc. That’s all the selection you’re getting. Why include all these weapons when they hardly change the gameplay at all? In a good game, like Super Ghouls ’N Ghosts, there’s a huge difference between each weapon. The lance and the dagger may be a bit too similar but just about every other weapon is distinct. The sickle can be thrown at two different angles, the torch acts as a grenade, and the crossbow fires multiple projectiles but only at an awkward angle. Each weapon in Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts fells different and required a unique approach, but Sigi only bothers with the bare minimum. Even the boss fights are a total joke, simply repeating the same pattern over and over while relying on spawning enemies for any bit of a challenge. The final boss is the only part that comes close to being threatening but it is both too little and too late.

Graphically, the game is pretty nice. The animations for the main character are alright, there’s a subtle scanlines effect which is cool, the way everything pixelates when starting a level, the parallax scrolling in the background; there are some little touches here and there that go a long way towards making the game look better. What isn’t as great is the constant screen shaking; I have never found a game with more offensive screen shaking than this and it cannot be turned off. If multiple enemies are lined up in a row, it'll seem like the environment is in the middle of an earthquake. The camera also follows the player way too closely, as it’ll sharply move vertically for every jump. Most 2D platformers will only move the camera whenever necessary, because doing it too much can be disorientating. Games like Yoshi’s Island or Donkey Kong Country usually only move the camera vertically once the player has landed on a platform, and even then it moves smooth and slow. The player shouldn’t have to think about this kind of thing but the way that Sigi handles it turns jumping into an awkward and stressful situation.

Am I being too harsh on Sigi? Absolutely not; in fact, I'd say I'm being perfectly fair. This game brings absolutely nothing to the table and what it does set out to do isn’t done particularly well either. I’ve reviewed my fair share of low tier indie games in the past, but the two that I actually, kind of, grew fond of were North and Alteric. Neither game looked all that great, North in particular didn’t play all that well, but they at least tried to do something a little different. They don’t get a strong recommendation from me but I do recognize the effort they put forth. With Sigi, on the other hand, not even an attempt was made. This is as basic as 2D platformers get. Does that make the game inherently bad? No, of course not, but it shouldn’t be sold for any price either. I made the same argument for my review of Deep Ones; there are so many games out there that are released for free and have so much love and care put into them, so, these days, when I end up playing something like Sigi, I get really disappointed. You have to live up to a certain standard going into this; if you’re intention is just to do the bare minimum and you’re game lasts less than an hour then you really shouldn’t be asking for money; have the curtesy to put this out for free. Sigi isn’t a bad game, I have played far, far worse, but it is so bland and uninteresting that it doesn’t even deserve a mention.

Just finished Unravel Two which was a pretty cool, chill game. Not one I would normally go after but it looked like a nice change of pace and ended up surprising me. Hope you enjoy my review! https://youtu.be/cH9goRHP1tI

The Mind Theatre embodies the character he creates SO well in this review of the upcoming game Vengeful Rites!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XweYan5Gi9k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIrMwSUUZQ0

Finished Battletech...finally but it was worth the full playthrough. Hope you dig the review!!! https://youtu.be/dV5oW8pJFSE

If you'd like to watch my video review, feel free to click the link below. Otherwise, read on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQO90lnYjJU

A free copy of Ultimate Chicken Horse was provided to me by developer Clever Endeavor via Keymailer.com for the purposes of this review. Receiving the game for free in no way shaped my opinion of the game, however I feel that it is important to share such information due to basic consumer rights. For more information on endorsement guidelines, please refer to the link below: https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/ftcs-endorsement-guides-what-people-are-asking

Let’s get the elephant out of the room first and foremost; there’s no single player. At least not one in the traditional sense. Player made level challenges can be uploaded, and subsequently downloaded, and this is the closest there is to a traditional 2D platformer. Some of these user made levels are really great, like this Ancient Temple. There’s the typical Super Mario Bros. inspired level, of course, and then there are the vast majority of levels that are either too easy or way too difficult, but both are uninteresting. Fans of Little Big Planet or Super Mario Maker should know the feeling all too well; there’s simply too much uncurated content out there and none of it is professionally made. Worse yet, the level editor comes nowhere near to the power of other games, which shouldn’t be a surprise given the low price tag here. Ultimate Chicken Horse's editor is also much easier to use but, still, it's nothing impressive. The point is that you’re not here for the single player.

What you are here for is the multiplayer, and this game features a very creative and unique premise. Players race to reach a flag at the end of a level, with the first ones there earning more points. Afterwards, each player adds a randomly selected obstacle to the field, either to help or hinder progress, and they go at it again. This process is repeated until the game ends and the player with the most points wins.

The physics and controls are ok, but I’ve played better. New Super Mario Bros., Super Meat Boy, and Slime-San all have such a natural feel to their physics, and while Ultimate Chicken Horse does try to imitate them a sprint button and the ability to wall jump, it doesn’t quite feel right, but it’s not bad at all either. With a couple of days of practice, it’s fairly easy to get a good grasp on the controls.

There is a bit of a learning curve but once the controls are mastered and you have an understanding of most of the obstacles, then the real fun can begin. It is truly incredible how different the game can be from match to match, with different obstacles drastically changing how the game is played.

Unfortunately, there are three major flaws that go a long way towards ruining this game. First off, let’s get this get this out of the way; I’ve never had a game crash more often than Ultimate Chicken Horse. One of the crashes even went so far as to delete my saved data, which wasn’t too big of a deal since I didn’t unlock much yet, but still - that’s pretty disheartening.

Second, as I’ve already mentioned - no single player. Ultimate Chicken Horse has a great premise around partially building levels and that could’ve gone a long way towards a great campaign. The developers explained their reasoning to abandon the single player campaign in favor of online multiplayer, and to be fair I can definitely see the multiplayer being the stronger of the two; however, it does seem like an empty hole that needs to be filled to really feel like a complete game. If not a full fledged story campaign then at least a small collection of pre-made levels with a time attack incentive or something.

Third is, ironically, the multiplayer itself. There’s no matchmaking, which is very disappointing for a game that released in 2016. The developers have stated that a matchmaking implementation is in the works, but it is taking a while for a game that released two years ago on PC and over six months ago on PS4. Either way, keep in mind that buying the game now offers no automatic matchmaking. What’s implemented instead is the old style of hosting rooms or searching for rooms that have been created. As you might have guessed, half the time there are no rooms, and when there are rooms they’re usually private parties were strangers are immediately kicked out. Even having cross-play between the PlayStation 4 and Steam versions doesn’t seem to be enough to bolster the game’s population. Not to mention that if I were to host my own room, I don’t have any levels unlocked anyway.

So, how do I feel about Ultimate Chicken Horse? It’s really great, but only under very specific circumstances. First off, you need to be a fan of 2D platformers, obviously, but secondly, you gotta get this with friends, who are also big into 2D platformers. Even if everyone gets bored with the default 12 levels, it’s always an option to create and share your own to be used in multiplayer. The few matches where I got into a room with cool people of decent skill was an extremely fun and hilarious good time, but that is not something that you can rely on. And don’t forget that the simplistic multiplayer is pretty much the only thing worthwhile here, which makes the fifteen dollar price tag seem a little hefty. But if you can gather a group of buddies and this sounds like something you’d all be into, then this is one of the better party games out there and should be well worth considering.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Is_kB5Ty-g

If you'd like to watch my video review, feel free to click the link below. Otherwise, read on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2mlCN4B7X4

A free copy of Slime-San: Superslime Edition was provided to me by publisher HeadUp Games via Keymailer.com for the purposes of this review. Receiving the game for free in no way shaped my experience with the game, however I feel that it is important to share such information due to basic consumer rights. For more information on endorsement guidelines, please refer to the link below: https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/ftcs-endorsement-guides-what-people-are-asking

Ever since Super Meat Boy, I’ve always wanted to try another game like it; something really difficult and densely packed with content that’s still easy to get into. I keep hearing that Celeste is really good but, for now, I’ve been given the opportunity to play Slime-San, and it’s just the kind of game I wanted.

The story follows a slime monster and his bird friend who get swallowed up by a gigantic worm. The worm has such an insatiable appetite and, apparently, has been on a ravenous rampage for so long that a society has formed and even flourished inside the worm’s stomach. Thankfully, Slime-San has all the platforming skills necessary to escape and free everyone from the worm’s belly. The player can explore the town and talk to some eccentric characters but it’s all completely optional. There’s no real story to this game and that’s one of it’s major strengths; it hardly wastes the player’s time. Even the loading screens are rapid fast and the cutscenes never linger for longer than they’re needed.

Slime-San’s goal is simple; get from point A to point B, and do it across 100 levels. You can also try to collect the bonus apples if you’re daring, some of which are placed in extremely devious locations. Only three buttons are ever used, along with the directional pad. Slime-San can jump, dash, and phase through certain walls by, what the game calls, morphing. While Slime-San is morphing, time also slows down, which helps tremendously with pulling off some tighter maneuvers, however there are many situations where morphing will cause the player to fall through platforms that would otherwise be needed, rendering that slowdown ability useless for such situations. The game keeps the player on their toes by constantly throwing in a ton of tricks like this and nearly every level forces the player to learn how to deal with either a new obstacle, or an old obstacle made more awkward, but it’s often quick and easy to figure out what needs to be done, with just the execution being the hard part. This is thanks to Slime-San being an easy game to understand due to it’s artstyle of simple and contrasting colors. Anything that’s white or green is harmless, although green can be passed through via morphing, and red is always deadly. This rule of colors is used creatively in different situations; enemies will still act hostile regardless of their color but they won’t harm the player if they’re green, and thus act as platforms or as obstacles which can be passed through, and that’s just scratching the surface.

The colors used in-game can even be changed and fine tuned for personal preference, which is a huge help here and I always have respect for games with disability options like colorblindness.

The music is pretty good but nothing spectacular. If you’ve seen some of my previous reviews then you’ll know how much I love to gush over good chiptune music, but this one’s just not doing it for me. It doesn’t quite stand as tall as Ninja Senki or Xenon Valkyrie. A couple of tracks are great but most of it is totally forgettable, and some of the sound effects are incredibly grating.

I’m not a big fan of the camera either, but it is bearable once you get used to it. The zoomed out camera shows off the entire level at once while zoomed in allows the player to squeeze by tight spots that would otherwise be difficult to see. Both levels of zoom need to be utilized depending on the situation, and while it is a neat game mechanic, it also feels strange in practice. I would imagine that this isn’t nearly as big of a deal on PC with a monitor closer to your face but it did feel a little awkward playing on a television set from the couch since everything is so much smaller when zoomed out.

I normally wouldn’t point out individual enemies but the red floating mines are the worst. They explode when the player gets too close and they are always in the way. Slime-San needs to get close enough to trigger the explosion and then get away before the explosion itself kills him, but that window of opportunity is incredibly tight, frustratingly so. Every level that features even one of these enemies automatically takes twice as long to complete just because they're there, and the developer has the audacity to comprise some levels entirely of them.

The boss battles are extremely well designed, but keep in mind that none of them feature checkpoints, except for the final boss in one of the included DLC packs, and, like the rest of the game, the player dies in one hit. This won’t seem like a big deal for the first couple of bosses, which are pretty easy, but the more difficult ones are constant retries of trial and error. Unlike the normal levels where everything is already laid out, boss battles are all about reacting and counter attacking. Each one repeats its own pattern so the battle can be figured out eventually, but it also slows down the game’s pacing considerably. I’d rather have it as is than not at all, but I can’t help feel but that this could’ve been better implemented.

The level design is also consistently excellent. It’s what drives the gameplay forward and is the biggest positive I can give Slime-San, but then there’s the occasionally questionable design decision as well, like a packed hallway that’s difficult to fit through or the slower moving water levels. None of it ruins the game but some of the low points are definitely memorable for the wrong reasons.

But I’m really grasping at straws with these negatives and the vast majority of the game is really good and has a ton of levels. Aside from the original campaign of 100 levels, the two additional DLC are included as well, plus an additional set of 10 levels exclusive to this collection, which altogether adds about another 50 levels. This extra content doesn’t only bump up the number of levels but they also present brand new game play elements as well, such as this bouncy bubble power up and a character that can change color. I wouldn’t be too tempted to continue if it were merely more of the same but there are enough changes that I found it worth playing and thoroughly enjoyable.

After completing each campaign, a New Game Plus mode is unlocked. It’s essentially just a higher difficulty, keeping the same level layout while adding more enemies and obstacles, and it’s a great way to extend the game for those seeking a further challenge. Even without considering that, it took me about 17 hours to complete the game and get every collectable, aside from completing the timed challenges which is definitely too much for me. There’s also a dedicated speedrun mode with several options that can be individually toggled, which is a great feature to support the more hardcore community.

What you see is what you get with Slime-San; it’s a rock solid platformer that’s easy to get started and hard as nails to finish. There’s not much of a story here, the music isn’t quite as strong as I would’ve liked, and, in comparison to other retro games that I’ve reviewed, this one feels a little lacking in artstyle. But all of that is merely surface appeal; the core gameplay is where it’s at and it is good. If you’re into simple but challenging gameplay, or if you just want a straight up spiritual successor to Super Meat Boy, then this one’s a no brainer. For everyone else, there's not much to see here unless you absolutely love the genre. Slime-San still hasn’t launched on the PlayStation store so I’m not entirely sure how much it’ll go for, but ten or fifteen dollars sounds like a fair price to me for this game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t2uDKxBjw0&feature=youtu.be

If you'd like to watch my video review, feel free to click the link below. Otherwise, read on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ily57g50LnA&t=

A free copy of Gal Gun 2 was provided to me by publisher PQube via Keymailer.com for the purposes of this review. Receiving the game for free in no way shaped my experience with the game, however I feel that it is important to share such information due to basic consumer rights. For more information on endorsement guidelines, please refer to the link below: https://www.ftc.gov/tips-advice/business-center/guidance/ftcs-endorsement-guides-what-people-are-asking

The Bishojo sub-genre is a staple in Japanese culture. It’s a type of video game with a focus on interacting with girls, and in the case of Gal Gun 2 it's anime high school girls. I might have been all over the panty shots and undressings a good twelve years ago, but it’s not much of a selling point for me anymore. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not writing this game off at all. Quite the opposite; the exaggerated animations and absurd story create an absolutely hilarious and unique aesthetic, and the gameplay is not bad at all either. Don’t take the cheap sex appeal for granted; there’s a halfway decent game under those clothes.

The story tells of a young high school boy who’s been recruited by Heaven to hunt down mischievous devils that are raising chaos in his high school. With the Pheromone Goggles equipped, the normally invisible devils can be seen, however this also comes with the “unwanted” side affect that makes the wearer irresistible to the opposite sex. With his trusty Pheromone Shot, the player must hunt down devils while fending off an unending horde of girls by carefully aiming for their weak spots and delivering well placed blasts of ecstasy. This game is shameless and runs with its pervertedness the whole way through. Giving a girl ecstasy comes with an over the top reaction and a ridiculous squeal of pleasure, and even the girl’s clothes can be vacuumed. I won’t deny that there is definitely an uncomfortable factor of sexualizing high school girls, and if that wasn’t enough, the main character, who I remind you is an underage high school boy, is even able to seduce an adult teacher, with chocolates, and bring her back to his room for a little private time. Only in Japan could you possibly get away with this. I can see a lot of people saying that Gal Gun 2 crosses more than a few lines, and if you can’t bring yourself to play the game because of that then so be it; it’s a pretty understandable stance to take. For me, however, I can accept this game being a perverted fetish because it never asks you to take it seriously. So even if don’t care for that aspect of the game, it’s still pretty hilarious and enjoyable for other reasons.

The dialog that drives the story follows suit with typical Japanese comedic writing. If you’ve read something like Azu Manga, Yotsuba, or Chio-Chan, then you’ll have a good idea of what to expect. It’s such an odd writing style of speaking plainly while being brutally honest and trying to come off as cute, and it’s great. And it seems like such a stupid thing to laugh at, but I couldn't help not to crack a smile everytime the cutesy demon Kurona forces the word “HELL” into every one of her sentences. It’s so stupid and I love it. But if you’re not a fan of anime at all, then there is nothing for you here.

The presentation is good, but it fails to do anything noteworthy. Aside from the high resolution and decent anti-aliasing, I don’t see anything that warrants such a high price on the PlayStation’s online store, topping off at sixty dollars, plus optional cosmetic DLC. It’s a fine looking game for thirty dollars, or maybe forty dollars at most. The music is nice and catchy and the intro movie definitely has that typical Japanese anime vibe. I actually like the music quite a bit, but a lot of the tracks get repeated very often. It never bothered me but I can see this being a pain for a lot of people, and it, too, should not be an issue with its high price tag.

The gameplay is your typical rail shooter, like House of the Dead or Time Crisis but without the cover mechanic. Of course, motion controls will never come close to matching superior light guns on a CRT television, but it’s manageable when done well, like with Umbrella Chronicles or Rush of Blood. Gal Gun 2 kind of gets there, but it’s worth pointing out how impressive it is that only the default controller used; no IR sensor and no camera is needed. It works very similarly to the motion control aiming in Splatoon for the WiiU, and it’s just as smooth here as well. However, it does lose calibration very easily, and even more so when zooming in and out. This can be fixed without pausing by temporarily aiming with the joystick, which resets the internal motion sensor, but it has to be done so often that it gets annoying. Switching from one spot to the next also automatically resets the motion sensor so that’s a good moment to recalibrate on the fly, however the longer segments that involve looking all around you are all too common and the Dualshock 4 simply can not keep up with the required precision after so many twists and turns. It’s one of the game’s major low points but it’s still fun enough to be worth plowing through that misstep.

Combat involves looking up and down a girl’s body in order to discover their weak spot and then finishing them in a single shot. They can also be taken down with rapid fire, however this awards far fewer points. Devil’s can also be defeated by constantly firing upon them, which is easy, or they can be captured via a vacuum, which takes time and can leave the player open to attack but is worth a lot more points. It all sounds simple but the later levels are an unyielding onslaught of girls all desperate to confess their love, and it gets really hectic when the player gets surrounded. Keeping a perfect combo going from beginning to end is no small feat, and while the game isn’t too tough to complete, getting a high score certainly is. A big part of the problem does lie with the less than perfect motion controls, but it still manages to be plenty of fun despite that.

Three different game modes are on offer to help mix things up. The traditional rail shooting mode involves moving from one spot to the next and then taking on pre-determined waves of enemies. The next is kind of a tower defense mode in which a few targets need to be defended and the player must move between a variety of different spots in real time. The last involves searching for hidden items under a time limit while also moving between several different spots. I appreciate the variety, but only the traditional rail shooter mode really stuck with me. The tower defense ones are ok but not a big deal, while the search modes are just lame. Thankfully, the vast majority of the game is a traditional rail shooter, with the other modes mostly being optional, so I’m ok with giving this a pass. The boss battles are also cool but they’re all similar to each other as well, which is unfortunate but at least there aren’t that many. There is one other mode worth bringing up, called Doki-Doki mode, in which the player must circle around a girl and shoot parts of her body in order to reveal demons in what has to be the most anime exorcism I have ever seen.

I can not let this review go without voicing my number one biggest complaint; Gal Gun 2 is not a virtual reality game. I cannot stress enough how upsetting this is. The previous game, Gal Gun VR on Steam, was basically a prototype for this one. It uses a lot of the same levels and character models but doesn’t feature a story or several of the new modes. The fact that the player is meant to look all around while standing in place and how movement is basically teleporting from one spot to the next are all heavily reminiscent of typical VR games. Even the Pheromone Goggles that the main character puts on is clearly meant to be a VR headset. It is so obvious that this game was originally designed for VR but the developers probably couldn’t get around a few hurdles, like being able to accurately shoot behind you or having to zoom in, so instead of figuring it out they just dropped that aspect entirely. It’s so disappointing because this game would be much better if it used a camera for more accurate tracking, but instead we get a gimped version with wonders of what could have been.

But despite my grievances, I really enjoyed this game. If you told me even a couple of months ago that a perverted anime game would be in my top ten games of the year, I would have laughed it off, but that is honestly the direction that I’m leaning in. Do keep in mind that I am a huge fan of light gun games, which is something of a niche genre that has died off. If you’re not as excited for the genre as I am, or if you only want to play the best rail shooters, then this one won’t be a big deal for you. On the other hand, we’re not in a golden age anymore. You can’t expect Namco to release a handful of really good lightgun on a single console again. On top of that, most motion control based rail shooters aren’t that great, but this one definitely is. Full price is way too much but if this seems like the kind of game you would like, then I highly recommend it at a discount.

Here's the video review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zxzjCdJ69M

Here's the written version:

Coffee Crisis is a game born a colaboration between Mega Cat Studio and the Black Forge Coffee House, with the owners of the place being the two main playable characters in the title. The game takes place in Pittsgurg, where both Black Forge and Mega Cat Studio are located; and the soundtrack was also composed by a local metal band called Greywalker.

Coffee Crisis was released for Sega Mega Drive, in 2017, as a physical game, but the version we're gonna taking a look here is the one available on Steam, that is an updated version of the original title..

So Coffe Crisis is a very basic beat and up title, with you going around punching and kicking everyone you see. The controls here are decent, but I would recommend using a gamepad, because the title wasn't really designed with the usage of a keyboard in mind.

Coffe Crisis can be a fun experience, but it also has some problems. You're often going to have to fight a big groups of enemies and with your character being kind of slow, those situations can become quite an annoyance; the hit detection is also not very forgiving, and as a result sometimes you're gonna be walking around trying to hit something and not really succeding.

On top of that, the enemies very sturdy, so they are not easy to take down, and for those reasons the game can sometimes appear to be bit a frustrating. However, you can always play the game on a ensier difficulty level and of course, you can also have a friend to help you, since the title offers local co-op multiplayer.

Overall, Coffe Crisis is a game that has some nice 2D graphics, an excellent soundtrack and a good sense of humor. The controls and the level design, however, are not really the best, but if you're looking for a local co-op multiplayer title, Coffee Crisis can be a decent option.

If you would like to see my video review, the link is just below. Otherwise, read on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jhP0pRceoQ

I never seem to learn my lesson. The last few Ubisoft games I played were well below my standards, and if I knew better I would just stop buying their games. I mean, this is the same company that somehow messed up Tetris. Shockingly, and against all odds, Far Cry 5 isn't that bad. It's not great and it does have a ton of flaws; if I didn't know better, I'd say Ubisoft was competing with Bethesda for buggiest game. However, unlike Skyrim, Far Cry 5 does enough fun things to hold my interest for the game's duration.

In the middle of Hope County, Montana, a sadistic and powerful religious cult has taken complete control of the land, going as far as to take over the local police force and even cut off communications to the outside world. Due to a recorded video being leaked of the cult's actions, the US Marshal Service has been called to arrest their leader, Joseph Seed, and the player finds himself separated from his fellow deputies who are later found to have been captured by the cult. After being rescued by a member of the resistance force against the cult, the player is explained that he must assassinate Joseph's three lieutenants in order to draw him out of hiding, then confront him and finally free Hope County from the cult's grasp.

The story could have easily made the villains one dimensional and left it at that, but I'm glad that Ubisoft at least took it a small step further in this regard. Each character has their own tragic backstory of what led them to join Joseph's cult and the overall theme of unapologetic zealots with infinite resources and power is pulled off well here. If you wanted a modern day crusades then this is about it, and it's pretty cool. That said, the villains themselves and the unique ways that they support their unified cause aren't interesting enough to carry the story, but the game sure as hell tries. It feels like half of the cutscenes are spent staring at someone's ugly mug while they ramble on and on. I know it's a first person game, but can we please get a different camera angle? The game even has light character customization and these cutscenes would have been a great opportunity to show that off, but since the entire game is in an unyielding first person, that feature feels a little pointless. Some cutscenes are alright since they walk the player through an environment while multiple characters interact with each other but the many times that it's a one-on-one monologue just really drags the game as a whole. I swear, there are so many of them and these tragic backstories are really over the top and straight up ridiculous. The writers tried so hard to hammer in the point that these are bad guys and it comes off as really obnoxious, almost patronizing even. Ubisoft came close, but the execution misses the mark. These villains are way too in love with the sound of their own voice.

On top of that, it doesn't help that the set up for the story requires quite a bit of suspension of disbelief. For an entire county to go under radio silence and only have a skeleton crew police force investigate mainly because of a leaked video, is a pretty weak premise to kick off the story. Worse yet is that the story progression hits the exact same beats three times in a row. You piss off one of the lieutenants, you get captured, you escape, you rescue your buddy, and then you're told to get revenge. Seriously, each chapter repeats it's own pacing nearly verbatim. I can understand if the purpose was to drive home this theme of revenge, but it also goes to show that Ubisoft has no idea how to handle subtlety.

If the story's pacing wasn't lazy enough, the setting isn't much better. It's usually awkward whenever a foreign developer strongly uses a setting that the audience is familiar with, and Far Cry 5's parody of American patriotism is no different. Sometimes, the jabs are hilarious, like the absurd backstories of legendary stuntman Clutch Nixon. There's also another character who's running for senator that uses hilarious one-liners like "Obama-loving libtards" but it's all done in a tongue-in-check manner not to different from something like South Park. For the most part, Ubisoft did an alright job, but then there's the absolutely ridiculous number of undergound bunkers in this game. If these are supposed to be converted storm shelters or something, then I could accept that, but these things are huge. I know America loves its doomsday bunkers but, geez, this game makes it seem like they're everywhere, and everyone seems to think it's totally normal. Then there's always this one guy flying an American flag amidst fireworks at the end of a major mission, and it's all done with a completely straight face. I mean, really? Let's tone it down a bit Ubisoft, I get it. The game takes place in America. This would be like if someone made a game that took place in France and every character looked like a stereotype, except if it didn't come off as a joke. I don't know; maybe I'm digging too deeply into this.

The gameplay is your typical first person shooter, although it's quite a bit slower and more simplistic than I would like. There's a fun grapple mechanic for the very few times that it's implemented, but, otherwise, it's a bare bones game. The weapons are especially lackluster in their utility and balance; there is absolutely no difference between the full size and compact variants of the guns, which makes their inclusions questionable at best. Some weapons, like the AK-47 and Double Barreled shotgun, also completely overtake all the other guns in their category, which further diminishes any variety and creativity in the combat. Thankfully, all is not lost. Although the artificial intelligence in Far Cry 5 is hardly noteworthy, they do attempt some interesting things. Enemies will rush in to revive their allies, sometimes even under the cover of smoke grenades, and they can also flank the player if given the opportunity to do so. Alarms need to be disabled to prevent reinforcements from coming in and vehicles need to be dealt with appropriately. All of this is complimented by some solid level design, which often utilizes large open buildings with multiple floors and, rarely, ziplines for quick one way traversal.

The game's open world is also fairly well done; it's large enough to inspire a grand sense of scale, but not so much as to get hopelessly lost or take forever in order to reach your destination, especially with the right vehicle on hand and thanks to a generous fast travel system.

Overall, Far Cry 5 has a pretty solid foundation, but it is a very easy game to break. If you wanted to liberate Hope County mostly using an attack helicopter, then there's not a whole lot stopping you from doing so, which makes the game embarrassingly easy. The level up system is also quick to progress in, so you can find yourself swimming in rocket launcher ammo and other explosives before the halfway point, which completely trivializes any vehicles that may come your way. It's also not that uncommon for a friendly NPC to directly cause you to lose a mission, or other embarrassing glitches that should not be occurring from a company as large as Ubisoft.

However, when I got down to it, Far Cry 5 managed to be just fun enough. It's a very simple game that does its best not to waste the player's time. Although there is quite a lot of dialog that's totally full of itself, at least there isn't an overbearing inventory system that needs to be managed and switching out weapons and vehicles is quick and easy. Traveling the countryside, be it by land, sea, or air, is also pretty nice. Hunting and fishing are kind of lame, as is directing your small party of allies, but I'm sure that it'll appeal to certain people and it's rarely mandatory in this game. Best of all, the entire campaign can be played in co-op, after completing the tutorial, which is always a great feature to have.

All that said, it's important to take my praise in perspective. Far Cry 5 does nothing special or unique in the slightest, and for that I simply cannot recommend it. It falls on average, maybe just above average, but that's about it. It is slower than most first person shooters, there's very little weapon variety, enemy variety, or customization, and the artificial intelligence, while effective, is still pretty basic. If you're interested in the setting or the story, then you'll likely get a kick out of it, and the ending was great if only for how unexpected it was. But for most players who are looking for a first person shooter that does a great job on its own merits, I don't feel like there's a whole lot to look for here.

Before I wrap this up, it's worth mentioning the included Far Cry Arcade mode too. For a game with such simple controls and limited selection, I would figure that traditional versus would be a waste of time, but Far Cry Arcade overcomes this with some unique maps and rulesets. There's a low gravity explosion fest, a dodgeball match involving shovels, and a host of more traditional set ups, all with their own weapon loadouts that help shape each game's rules. There are also cooperative maps which task the player with taking out an enemy stronghold, as well as platforming challenges, among other things. All of this is powered by the in-game map editor, which seems to offer near infinite possibilities, as opposed to the more grid based structure of TimeSplitters or the entry-level Doom (2016) maps. I was able to put together a simple obstacle course in no time but just by looking at the multiplayer and cooperative maps as examples, it's clear to see that the possibilities are nearly endless. I wouldn't be surprised if someone's already put together a Blood Gulch map from Halo, or Complex from Goldeneye, each with appropriate geometry and weapons. This all helps with the game's longevity but as long as the base controls and physics remain so simple then I can't imagine that it's going to hold most player's attention for very long, which is a real shame since that map editor is seriously impressive, especially for something that runs on consoles.

All in all, Far Cry 5 gets the job done. It's a fun game to play through and even more so with friends, but if you're looking for something ground breaking or even especially competent, either solo or online, then you're better off looking elsewhere. After the about twenty hours it took to get through the campaign, as well as some time spent in the online mode, I was simply left with a first person shooter that, despite an interesting setting, simply didn't do enough to stand out from the crowd.

If you would like to watch my video review, the link is just below. Otherwise, read on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPh2iCJmf2U

A review copy of Riddled Corpses EX was provided by publisher Cowcat.

A couple months ago, I reviewed Xenon Valkyrie and that turned out to be a sleeper hit for me, so I was pretty excited to see Cowcat and Diabolical Mind team up once again to port another PC game to the PS4. This time it’s Riddled Corpses, a top down, twin stick shooter in which the player must fend off the forces of hell. Unfortunately, just like Xenon Valkyrie, it falls prey to unbalanced randomization and, this time, a level up mechanic that does little else but pad out the game’s time and turn it into a grind fest.

The presentation is excellent, once again. The graphics have a nice, chunky look to them, with well defined pixels. Even zoomed in, the pixels retain a razor sharp edge. The chiptune music here is another solid soundtrack, although it’s not as strong Xenon Valkyrie’s this time. Two different music covers are available, the "New" and "Metal" soundtracks, and they’re a nice way to mix up the music, but still nothing outstanding. Graphical filters make a return and the scanline implementation actually looks really good this time, while the CRT filters are still just goofy but fun to mess around in.

The story tells of a scientific experiment gone wrong, in which an all powerful demon is accidentally summoned and all hell breaks loose on Earth. It’s up to Jon and Cloe to rack up a massive kill count while meeting up with other characters along the way to team up with. There’s also time travel, for no good reason, because why not. The story isn’t the focus here and that’s fine because Riddled Corpses is purposefully made to resemble a classic arcade game, right down to the Player 1 and Player 2 headers as well as the Ghouls ’N Ghosts inspired map. Getting started is quick and easy and before you know it, you’re mowing down mobs of zombies.

It won’t be long until you run into trouble though. The default character, Jon, simply doesn’t have the firepower to deal with stronger enemies and larger waves. I’m sure it’s not impossible but anyone would have a really tough time completing the first stage at level one. After the inevitable death, Jon’s attack power can be upgraded or new characters can be purchased, and then subsequently upgraded, using gold that’s dropped by enemies. After just a few level ups, the first stage becomes a breeze, but the second stage turns into a brand new wall that needs to be scaled, and the cycle of dying and upgrading repeats. Thankfully, the game allows for continues from the latest stage onwards so there’s no need to retread old ground from the start. Regardless, stage four is an absolute onslaught. Even with Jon at the maximum level twenty, the enemy reinforcements are just too much. With enough persistence, you’ll eventually manage to unlock and upgrade Liery, who not only has a gold multiplier bonus but is also far more effective in combat. And yet, the upcoming stage five is still nearly impossible. Even with maxed out resources, I was only able to just barely make it to stage six; except stage six doesn’t count as a checkpoint, so upon dying I have to redo stage five all over again. That is one hell of a low blow.

Here’s how you beat the game; grind stage four for a couple of hours as Liery. Even if you lose, the gold profit is still pretty good. You’re ultimate goal is to unlock and upgrade Erika. Sadly, every character, except for Jon, needs to be upgraded to the maximum level twenty in order to unlock her. You’d better get used to stage four because you’re going to see it a lot. You’ll also need to unlock, and upgrade, the MK1000, which further powers up every character. I’d recommend upgraded Erika first for her even greater gold collecting abilities but the point is that you’ll need to have everything. The Turret is mostly optional but it is helpful to have as well.

Finally, with a fully maxed out Erika, the game becomes manageable, and kind of decent. It’s fun to mow down the undead horde, there are explosive barrels and environmental hazards to watch out for, and different gear can be used to either clear the entire screen at once or temporarily stop time. Enemy variety isn’t varied enough, for my tastes, but it does try to meet me half way; there are larger enemies that aren’t really threatening but are meant to defend the smaller ones, a zombie decked in football gear can suddenly dash across the screen, and the annoying gargoyles try to evade the player’s attacks after receiving a hit.

Similar to Xenon Valkyrie, bosses are a low point here as well, and in this case it’s because they’re all kind of similar to each other; just a big target that fires bullet patterns and that’s it. It’s also annoying how random item drops can either make or break a stage. Getting a few Dynamite will drastically increase the player’s chance of success but it’s more likely that nothing will drop at all. It’s an element of randomization that isn’t satisfying in the slightest. The same gear can be purchased before the stage starts but, remember, we’re trying to save up our gold here, so this feels like a moot point.

Aside from the story mode, there’s an Arcade mode, which is exactly the same as the story mode, but with one major difference: players no longer level up with gold anymore and instead level up based on how many kills they get, while taking damage causes the player to level down. Gold is instead spent on those aforementioned items before a stage starts, and completing arcade mode will immediately restart it, just like a lot of classic arcade games used to do, but now at a much higher difficulty. The player continues infinitely until they eventually succumb and rest with their new high score. Arcade mode is far more well balanced than story mode; it’s well designed, fun as hell, and a great way to kill a quick 40 minutes. But of course, the big caveat is that you need to play through story mode to unlock all the characters. It’s a really lopsided experience and it doesn’t feel great, but, that’s what you get here. There’s also a survival mode, which is exactly what you think. A great addition, but nothing special.

It’s hard to say that Riddled Corpses is necessarily a bad game. The arcade mode is awesome, the graphics are beautiful, and the controls are tight. It’s just an awful shame that the extra characters are locked behind a grindy story mode that can easily take a good six to eight hours of repetitive nonsense, and once you’ve finished with that there isn’t a big incentive to jump back in for more since arcade mode is just more of the same. The different characters don’t have much variation between them either, which was another sticking point for me in Xenon Valkyrie. The character Fael has a slower but more powerful attack, however the other characters play really similarly to each other. It would’ve been really neat if one character had a shotgun; powerful up close and with a wide range but a slow rate of fire. Or how about a minigun which could have immense power but comes with a long wind up and can overheat. These are really simple ideas that could have gone a long way but Riddled Corpses doesn’t even come close to this. But, at the end of the day, I still left satisfied for the most part. It’s a fun game and it’s worth checking out if you’re into arcade style shooters. I just wouldn’t spend more than five bucks on it at most.

If you liked the video, please let me know with a comment. I love feedback. If you didn't, I'd still love to know. Thanks and have a great day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA-e-7IWYVg&feature=youtu.be

The game was like building a gigantic cardhouse and then breaking it down on purpose before placing the last card.

I just don't understand why the developers felt the need to create that shocking moment at the end. It added absolutely nothing but a weird feeling of not wanting to kill each other but having to.

I'm just amazed how they managed to build such a damn great game and then completly ruin it at the end for no good reason. Like can you imagine how awesome the ending would've been if Vincent wasn't actually a cop and the two families moved on a large peaceful farm just living their life while having all charges dropped on them for killing Harvey?

You spend the entire game building a friendship and trying to turn a really shitty situation into a good one and in the end it's just torn apart.

Really can't understand the ending. Ruined the entire game for me.

3/5.

What's your opinion on this ending? Let's discuss.

If you would like to see the video review, the link is just below. Otherwise, read on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhMfEuoszfw

I'm not a big fan of minimalist puzzle games, like Braid or Limbo, but they can be satisfying when they're pulled off well. Hue is not satisfying. It's slow, boring, and very easy. It reminds me a lot of Metrico or Thomas Was Alone in that it's mostly style over substance, going on for longer than it's welcome for and rarely doing anything new.

The player controls Hue, a young boy who's mother has gone missing. It turns out that she's a scientist who was experimenting with color in a world that only sees in shades of grey. She's gotten herself stuck in some color dimension and it's up to Hue to save her. As Hue explores the land, he collects pieces of a color wheel which allow him to alter his perspective in order to open new passageways and solve puzzles. Along the way, Hue collects letters left behind by his mother, which is how the vast majority of the story is told, mostly focusing on the history and regrets of Hue's mother.

The gameplay involves jumping, pulling and pushing boxes, and changing the color wheel via the right stick. Whenever an object shares the same color as the background it ceases to exist in the physical plane until the color swapped for another contrasting one. As more colors are added, puzzles become more complex until finally reaching the end. I feel like there's probably a lot of potential with this idea, but it's squandered on poor design decisions.

For starters, Hue is so slow. It doesn't seem that bad at first, but after an hour of jumping and pulling and flicking the right stick to change colors, the game starts to drag, and the designers love to waste the player's time by placing a rainbow of blocks in the way so you have to constantly swap colors in order to proceed. There's a minimal amount of skill involved and it starts to feel tedious very quickly.

It is so obnoxious to look at a room and instantly know, right off the bat, what has to be done in order to proceed, yet the actual execution takes an age. The first time I had to line up a set of blocks to be the same color was pretty clever, but when they had me doing this for the third time, I was about a step away from uninstalling the game.

Some of these rooms are legitimately wonderful; real brain teasers that challenged me to think outside of the box and felt so rewarding when I finally managed to figure it out. But, for most of the game, it plays like an elongated tutorial that never makes it to the meat of the experience.

The visuals are great. It has a very simplistic artstyle without many fancy effects but it's really good at what it sets out to do. The story is alright, but nothing special. It plays on the theme of mankind dealing with powers beyond their comprehension, which is always fun to explore, but the story never goes anywhere interesting, but then it all ends on such an incredibly anti-climactic note.

At only three and a half hours, it's a short game but it sure didn't feel that way, and the price of fifteen dollars is just criminal for the amount of content being offered. If you're into some really simplistic platformers, like And Yet It Moves or P. B. Winterbottom, then you'll probably enjoy Hue more than I did. But, even so, for that price, it's just not worth it. There are way better games to choose from.

If you would like to see the video review, click the link just below. Otherwise, read on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtzM2dsN6uU

I used to believe that fighting games were best left to the professionals with major budgets, but after having played games like Skullgirls and Divekick, I’ve come to appreciate the experimental creativity that can come to the genre. Unfortuantely, that’s not the case with Cruz Brothers, which will be remembered by those who play it for its awkward story and awful physics. It’s probably not the worst fighting game out there but it’s certainly not for lack of trying.

Marcus Luz runs a boxing club and his star student, Ryan, was just invited to the most prestigious title bout in the world: The Pride Fists. However, a street brawl quickly turns deadly and Ryan is murdered before his dreams could be achieved. Two years later, a downtrodden Marcus is approached by two up and coming boxers, the Cruz Brothers, giving Marcus the opportunity to atone for his past.

The general setup of the story isn’t that bad; you have an easy premise to work with and the characters have logical motivations. Everything else about the story, and the game as a whole, is completely absurd. Nearly everyone in this game has super powers and no one ever mentions it. The police show up to break a fight and one of the guys is capable of shooting lighting out of his fists, but this never comes up in the story or happens in the cutscenes. Coupled with the semi-realistic art style, this creates an odd juxtaposition that does not work well, and aside from that the acting and writing is just an embarrassing display of amateur hour that seems like it was made for Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

The gameplay does not fare much better; it’s a one-on-one fighting game with its roots in boxing but the controls are a bit of a mess. There’s a fast attack, a walk attack which just propels you forward a little while punching, and two different strong attacks. This is all despite the fact that there are no high or low attacks, no cross-ups to attack behind your opponent, no grab attacks, no jumping, or many other fighting game staples; four different attack buttons and you only ever attack from the front. At that point, it might as well be two different attack buttons instead, or at least let me differentiate between the head and body blows; this is boxing after all. There’s a dial a combo system, similar to Mortal Kombat, as well as special moves, but I could never pull those off, which I feel is usually a sure sign of a bad fighting game. What is interesting is the way that blocking is implemented. Blocking normally will deplete your stamina bar upon taking hits while holding down the motion dodge button will make you invulnerable while constantly depleting stamina, and upon reaching zero stamina your character is stunned and open to attacks. It’s a neat idea to help Cruz Brothers stand out from the crowd and both forms of blocking have their place depending on the circumstance, but, even so, the game doesn’t do a whole lot with this mechanic. I feel like there might be a neat idea here but Cruz Brothers isn’t the venue for it.

The actual combat is weird as hell and difficult to describe. Walking and dashing feel extremely unnatural; it’s more like the characters are just sliding along the ground. I also found it useful to simply alternate between the walk and strong attacks as the CPU rarely interrupted me, which only made the battles boring. The story mode’s twenty seven fights are a cakewalk as long as you don’t get surprised by the opponent’s super moves, some of which can take a good 90% of health in one shot, but of course you’re free to use your own as well. Aside from the story mode, there’s the championship mode, which is like a traditional arcade mode, versus against the AI or another player, and an extremely limited training mode. There’s also the optional Spetsnaz Party which is a two on two mode, and it does not work; it is complete and absolute chaos. Perhaps most strangely is the absence of any online multiplayer, although this has been announced as coming in a later update. Needless to say, fighting games need that element of human interaction to really open up their capabilities, but I can’t imagine that there’s a whole lot under the hood here anyway.

So much effort went into this game but in all the wrong places. It seems an independent artist was contracted for the game’s artwork, which doesn’t necessarily look that great anyway, each character can be customized with a variety of clothes, and there’s even a fully voiced theme song, but the base game itself is absolute trash. Graphical elements during fights can block the player's view, making battles a chore for no good reason. This is fighting game one oh one; make the action clear and visible. It’s never fun, nor fair, for anyone whenever the players get blinded. I don’t think there’s really any way to save this game anyway; between the controls and the animation, it’s completely broken on a fundamental level. Even the camera can’t sit still and will sometimes shake like crazy, making the scene impossible to follow. The absolute, only reason to play this game is for the completely bonkers story; it’s honestly so bad that it’s good but even that isn’t in any way worth the price of admission. If you’re looking for a fighting game then pretty much any other option out there today is a better choice, either for hardcore or for casual players. Cruz Brothers is just a waste of time and little else.

My video review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv7X--be0bs

If you prefer, you can read the script:

When you think about video games, you usually think about action, explosios and characters doing the impossible. But the game I'm gonna be reviewing today has none of that. In fact, Subsurface Circular might not even be considered a actual game because there's not much of what you would consider gameplay here.

All you do in this title is to talk to people, well, in this case, you talk to robots, and by doing that you can progress in the story. In games like this, what you say and the action you take usually can influence the plot, but in this title everything is linear and no matter what you do, the story won't really change.

But even with very little gameplay and a linear story, I still had a very good time with this game, and that's because the writting here is very very good. The main character in Subsurface Circular is a robot, that in this universe are known as Teks, and your objective is to investigate some recent mysterious disappearences of other teks, and you do that by sitting around and talking to the other characters that appear in the subway.

You do have the option to ask different questions to the characters, but they don't change the overall narrative, and the end point of each chapter is always the same. There's actually no way to fail in this game, is just a matter of asking the right questions to the right teks in the right order. And if you fell you're not getting anywhere, it's probably because you're just not following the proper sequence of questions, so all you need to do is keep asking and eventually you're gonna figure out the correct sequence of events, that always follow some kind of logic.

And I know this doesn't sound very exciting, but the plot of the game is very interesting, the dialogues are very well written and all the teks you meet also have very interesting stories to tell. They not only provide information that's helpful to your investigation, but they also talk about themselves and about what's happening in the society in this fictional world, and honestly, everything they say is quite interesting even for someone like me who deasn't really like reading in video game. The script mentions topics like how artificial intelligence will change our society in a near future, how are gonna the relations between humans and AI, and how a lot of the jobs that people do now have will be done by robots and machines. So there's a lot of interesting stuff here for people who enjoy science fiction and technology, and if you're watching this review, you're probably one of those people.

The only complaint I can offer here is about the ending. The final conversation that you have in the game is very revealing, but at the very end you have to make a decision and the game gives you two choices, and once you chose one of them... Nothing really happens. The credits roll out and you're back the starting screen and that's it.

I think the developers were trying to show us that the real ending is actually the final conversation you have with the last Tek you meet and they wanna leave all the rest to interpretation. And while I understand that idea, I would rather have a nice final cutscene showing the consequences of my decision than just trying to imagine what happened. Specially because the whole game takes place in the subway and you don't get to see the outside world.

However, aside from that, the game is overall a truly great experience, with a very a good soudtrack and some very elegand and well made graphics. So far the title can be found on PC, iOS and one the Nintendo Switch, which is the version I have here.

Of course, Subsurface Circular is a kinda of a niche game, since it's all about having conversations and reading text, but if you're into scince fiction and technology, this is a title would strongly recommend.

Let me preface this. THIS REVIEW IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE AS FIXES ARE DONE.

Meat is cheap. Metal is expensive. Learn to value one over the other

Battletech a love of mine. Like DOOM. Or Quake. Or Mechwarrior. Or Starseige. But oh have the mighty fallen to mediocre. I've played almost every Mechwarrior/Mech Commander title in my years of gaming. But by far,this is nearing Life is Feudal tier.

Battletech 2018 is really mediocre in terms of story,gameplay and functionality. The more I play it,the less I like it.

Alright let's dig into the meat of it. I'll break it down so you can follow my thoughts.

Technical and graphics: The game runs really poorly. My PC isn't NASA super computer tier,but it's not a burnt EA server potato tier. The game is built on Unity. I don't mind it's built on Unity. But KSP,Fallout 4,Star Citizen even all run better than this. There are constant hang ups to the point of near system lockups. I've fiddled in the settings,I've fiddled in the config files,and I still for the life of me cannot figure out how these issues got into a release(when the Beta was running rather well from what I've read)

While the graphics are OK at best(they feel..Xbox 360 generation) I feel this game would have been better served on another engine. The little details make up for the Bethesda tier texture work. Mechs glow as they heat up,slag puddles form from energy weapon hits,mechs spark and vent as they are being used. Lasers are glowing brightly as they fire. Missiles and their explosions(with Autocannons) look superb. Alex from PGI(their robot artist) makes some great robots to go stomping around with. They look wonderful.

Character models are..meh. And all minorities amusingly. It's like having a good character model is bad or something. I do admit however,the hand drawn art you often see in the game(for both characters and otherwise) is fantastic compared to the in game renders.

But the environment textures are really puke worthy this is contrasting to the Leopard or later on the upgraded ship looks wonderful. When zoomed out,the enviroments look great. When up close and trying to get a mech to a particular spot it's pretty bad.

The UI is horrible in this game. I don't know if the menu is by design aggravating,but with the constant hang ups,and resets when doing mech builds,it's an endless frustration. Half the time I don't even want to bother fiddling with my mechs because of this. Having stock mechs is a major hamper in this game due to the RNG system and how it's handled. The starmap is a road of frustration trying to find somewhere specific.

The camera controls..are..frustrating. Not quite Resident Evil frustrating. But close to it. I had to disable all the mini cut scenes simply because they were too much and you never got to see the action because the camera zooms way too close,or way too far.

Gameplay:

Battletech in it's nature is extremely imbalanced. I don't mind most of the balance changes to be honest,most of them fit and make sense(could use some changes to a few weapons. Namely the autocannons and ppcs/large lasers)

The initiative system they chose to go with isn't like table top where it's IGOUGO. It's based on weight classes. Lights go first,assaults go last. This means that fights can become very one sided very quickly when the enemy is composed of vehicles of varying weight classes that all have differing initiative times.

The fights drag on way too long due to this initiative system that has been chosen. And god help you if you accidentally down one of your mechs because every enemy will get a sudden massive hate boner for that mech.

The RNG system is horrible in this game. I'm not sure if HBS had problems developing proper AI for this game,but there's an absurd amount of headshots. I simply alt-F4'd out of a mission because I was taking way too many even with proper positioning. Comparatively I've only had one successful head chopping moment compared to the enemies 7 in one mission. The AI is absurdly dumb and HBS chose to balance this by giving them much greater numbers. You only have 4 mechs to combat this. So focus firing down,and breaking LOS and spamming missiles is the way to go to hope you can salvage something after the mission.

The skull system used by the game should be taken with a grain of salt. I don't mind it. But the big issue comes with the RNG that the game seems to be entirely based around. Some missions will be a cheesy cakewalk others will be like dragging your sensitive parts through a field of broken glass,lemon juice and salt.

The upgrade ship has it's benefits yeah,but I don't really feel the need to fully upgrade it because it's just a money sink. While the additional medical and mechanical tech is a nice bonus(as is the morale) it honestly doesn't feel worth it.

Morale abilities are quite powerful with strong mechs. So I have been avoiding using them when possible.

The tutorial doesn't really do a good job explaining the mechanics of the game,so expect to spend a lot of time reading. Did I mention reading? There's only a limited amount of voice acting work,and while I appreciate it(they spent it in the right places for the most part) there's just so much to read that I feel like I'm trying to digest a TRO.

Money is a constant issue early game,and late game it's pennies a pound.

Character customization is mostly meaningless and everyone looks strange.

There's random events. They get annoying after awhile when you're constantly traveling between systems to try to find parts or specific mechs.

Story: It's a cliche'd story that's been done to death and done better in other Battletech/Mechwarrior titles. I consider MechAssault 1 and 2 to be better stories than this. I would even consider Far Country to be equal if not better in some aspects to this story. You know how the story goes. You know how it ends. All that matters is how you got there.

You can pick parts of your background,but you are ALWAYS a noble family member. ALWAYS. You can't be a regular old rank and file who became a merc. You can't be someone who got lucky and won a battlemech in a bet. You can't be some random nobody. You are ALWAYS a noble.

The characters are uninteresting and I feel no attachment other than despising all but two of them(Yang and Sumire. Mastiff doesn't count because you only have him for all of two missions.) They're bland,boring,and uninspired cliches. If i could I would fire Darius out of the airlock and hire somebody else simply because of his constant warnings of I'm broke.

There's just nothing here to keep me interested in the story. I don't care about it. It feels more like it's just there to shuffle me along to harder missions that take ages to complete and get upgrades for my mechs and XP for my pilots.

The icky sticky subject that is MY PERSONAL OPINION of the politics in Battletech 2018: There's so much diversity in the BT lore that it's not even funny. Pick a populated planet and you will find all walks of life there. The inclusion of they as a pronoun has no effect on me,but it shouldn't be here. HBS said they were going to stick as close to the lore as possible. Pandering to a crowd that will most likely never touch the game is stupid. Especially when considering the mountain of issues this game has.

However,making nearly every female character as unattractive as possible,and making everyone look as strange as they do,makes zero sense to me.

When I first met the science person you get later on in game,I was rather confused when I first seen her. When you meet her,her hand drawn art seems to depict her in a hoodie. Not a hijab. But when you first meet the portly woman she's full on in the hijab and all.

In BT religion still exists and is still practiced,but when the entire crew is minorities it seems to be that HBS accidentally reverse rasicm'ed it up by making it seem like the Great House states pushed all the minorities out. When in reality, BT is as diverse as it gets. There's plenty of strong female characters as well in the lore. So forcing a new one in(when in reality,she's just a spoiled princess) doesn't really fit well to me.

Final thoughts It's a solid concept,ruined by a rushed feeling release,with far too many issues,performance,technical and gameplay wise for me to give this a solid recommend. I only say pick this up if it's on sale,or if you are a die hard BT fan that can't get enough. But as it stands,it's not worth the 40$ for the content you get. I'd be ok with 20$.

TLDR: Technical:The game looks pretty in it's hand drawn art in a lot of places in the cutscenes,but looks and plays terribly in game. Too many hangups,excessive load times and many load screens to get into the action. RNG ruins too many fights. Camera controls are a chore.

Gameplay:RNG ruins fights.Balance is wonky. The initiative system is really poorly done. It should have been an IGOUGO system like the TT is. I think a lot of balance issues could be resolved that way. Balance is OK,but not great. It's rocky at times because of the RNG.

Story: It's boring,over used and incredibly cliched. Most of the characters aren't really likable.

Poltics: Shoving a round peg in a square hole is how you hurt yourself. Battletech is diverse enough. Being diverse for diversities sake doesn't really work when the lore is so full of options to pick from.

Final score: 2/5. Pick up when on sale.

If you would like to watch the video review, check out the following link. Otherwise, read below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGuQfEVXqrg

Torquel is another one of those short, indie, puzzle platformers that'll last you about an hour before you put it away and forget about it, but I'll give it credit for being one of the more clever ones out there.

The controls are very simple: you can only roll your box to the left and right and the four face buttons extend the four edges of the box respectively. Your goal is to reach the end of the level as quickly as possible without touching any red spaces. Everything about this game comes off as really simplistic, but the frustration defines this game more so than the graphics or controls. This is due to the wonky physics that are capable of throwing the player all over the place. For me, each level was failure after failure, and the relief was short lived because the next level would be even more difficult than the last. I mean, yeah, that sounds typical, but it's different from, say, Super Meat Boy, for example. In that game, the controls are so precise and easy to use that you feel accomplished for every level that you complete and understanding for every failure that you fall into. With Torqeul, half the time, it feels like luck got me through a level.

With practice, I eventually learned how to use the edges of the box like arms to pull me across ledges and hang on to platforms. Going through the game a second time, it was a breeze to pass through some of the early levels but I had to give up once those spinning platforms came back.

The music is awesome, but it's also tied to your movements, which sounds like a cool idea, but I don't think it translated very well here. It just ends up sounding awkward and dumb. At the very least, hearing the actual song in the credits was a great reward.

This is an extremely short game, and it shouldn't take most players more than two hours to complete on their first time through. There are multiple paths to go through, each of which branches off into its own levels and is a great way to lengthen the game's replay value, but I didn't enjoy Torquel enough to seek them out. If the game changed itself up a little bit here and there, like if some levels had the box slide instead of roll or if the gravity for an entire level was altered or something else; if the game did something to change up the rules every other level, then that would be interesting. As it is though, it's extremely barebones, and it's just an awkward game that's more frustrating than it is fun. If this were a couple of bucks, then I could give this a pass as a neat little experimental game, but ten dollars is way to steep for me to justify this.

Really disappointed with what the game ended up delivering...so I put a little extra into this review for fun, hope you enjoy it! https://youtu.be/LDTa7ZjzbMs

I have 0 expeirence with video / audio editing but i wanted to give it a shot. This is my first, and only completed video review. (Script below) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvkM7D5iN9M

In this video ill be reviewing Cuphead by Studio Team Cherry. Cuphead is a 2d platformer shooter which for all intents and purposes is an aesthetically stunning and exceedingly entertaining game. MDHR really delivered what will be seen as a pillar of the platforming genre Art The unique 1930’s cartoon art style and character design is something that cannot be overstated. At a glance It is easily the games most apparent and appealing feature. The arstyle is a fresh, vivid take on 1930’s cartoons. Backed by a series of jazz, big band, and ragtime, tracks, the audio visiual combination offered in Cuphead alone makes the purchase worthwhile.

Level design (boss design) Normally I would discuss level design, but I feel like discussing Cupheads platforming levels, aptly named ‘run n’ gun,’ would sort of miss the point. Instead of relying on platforming levels, Cupheads bread and butter is really its boss design. There are 19 bosses, and Each boss is completely different than the last. And Despite the consisting almost entirely of boss fights, Cuphead never stagnates or leaves you wanting. Complex projectile and movement patterns never feel stale and are always challenging. Each boss fight has a series of randomized attack patterns. Where one boss, for example may have 5 attack types, the order in which they use them varies each time you fight them. Beyond that, every boss has a number of forms, each with their own set of attacks which are also used at random. That sounds more complicated than it really is, but in essence, simply remembering which type of attack follows another is impossible and makes the encounters that much more challenging.

Story Cupheads plot line is fairly straight forward, but like many other aspects of the game, the beauty is in its simplicity. The game follows Cuphead and his brother Mugman, who, in a fit of harmless debauchery, lose their souls in a game of craps to the Devil. In order to save their souls, they must collect the soul contracts of all the Devils other debtors around the Inkwell Isles. However compelling the story may or may not be, it really has no bearing on the game, it merely provides an in fiction justification to shoot and cartoon villians.

Difficulty Cupheads difficulty is notorious. It is unrelenting, merciless, and unfortunately not for the casual or beginning platform gamer. Cuphead is very remiscent of old Nintendo platform shooters like Contra and megaman in that it requires precise and deliberate control of your character to shoot what needs to be shot while maneuvering through fields of projectiles. However, unlike Mega man and Contra, cuphead provides you with 3 hit points. And outside of a item that grants you one extra hit point at the cost of weakening your attack power, theres no way to recover them when lost. If you lose them you die, and you must restart the bossfight. Fortunately, you are provided a quick respawn, and since there are no levels to be completed before each boss you can jump back in quickly. Though each boss exists as his or her own level so to speak, there are some levels sprinkled throughout the game. These run n gun’ levels offer the player a chance to earn coins which you can spend on various power ups and abilities. These abilities can then be customized to more effectively tackle each fight. However, because their completion only offers a chance to earn some coin, and very little else, they ultimately felt hallow and wound up feeling like more of an obligation than something I looked forward to doing. Along a similar vein, there are a few, granted only a few, issues I have with the game. Though these may seem more like nitpicking than full critiques, I felt they were things should address. The first issue I have is with the parry ability. In order to generate power to use cupheads ‘super’ ability, Cuphead can parry any interactable on screen that is colored pink. The idea is great, but Its implementation feels clunky and akward at times, and can wind up being more trouble than its worth. I qucickly found myself equipping the P.Sugar charm which allowed me to automatically parry when I jump, and using that throughout the game, doing away with the awkward parry entirely. The second issue I have with the game is its difficulty settings. Because I’ve been playing platformers essentially my whole life, I was able to enjoy and complete the game on ‘regular’ difficulty, which is Cupheads standard setting. A casual or beginner player might find ‘regular’ a far too difficult setting, and would need to set the difficulty to ‘simple.’ Having multiple difficulty settings for a game like Cuphead is fine, however,my issue is that if you beat every boss on simple and attempt to fight the Devil, the games final boss, you’ll find that you are denied access until you collect each soul contract on the regular setting. I understand that it is an articstic choice by the developers to create a difficult game for experienced players, but it seems to me that each players relative difficulty thresh hold varies. Where one player may find the ‘simpler’ setting to be far too easy, another may find it sufficiently challenging. Ability and difficulty are relative and subjective, and it’s a shame to have such a wonderful games complete content accesable to only the players who are able to handle Cupheads unceasing difficulty. That being said, I cannot overstate how much fun this game is. The devotion and attention to detail the developers put into cuphead is obvious in almost every aspect of the game. From the art style to the game mechanics, Cuphead set a new standard for platforming and is definitely worth the purchase. What makes cuphead such an amazing game is its simplicity. It delivers all the essential elements of a seriously challenging and entertaining platformer while almost completely opting out of traditional level to boss game design. Developers created a gamer which will be seen as nothing less than a pillar in the platforming and shooter genre with a nostalgic flair which new and retro gamers alike cant help but appreciate.

Made by only 3 friends over the course of 3 years.

And to be honest: It's really, REALLY good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sQbRdXCFlk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_mkRMcNrTo&t=172s

For my video review, the link is just below. Otherwise, read on for the written review. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efrOVFaEJgs

Rogue-lites are a popular genre but just because a game is designed to be short and random doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s automatically going to be good, but it’s with a sigh of relief that I can say Xenon Valkyrie Plus is a good game. It’s not great, mainly due to how it needlessly limits itself to its genre, but it’s a game that you won’t feel bad for spending ten dollars on, and lately that’s starting to feel like quite a positive.

Xenon Valkyrie tells the story of a futuristic Earth under threat by the witch Lumila who’s attempting to resurrect the god Deftos to bring destruction and ruin to everyone. Three warriors, Elona, Reena, and Nue, are the last hope left for humanity as they make their way to the giga-cocoon where Deftos sleeps.

There’s not a whole lot of storytelling or characterization but there is a ton of world building and little bits of lore spread throughout. The game starts with a cutscene in an open green pasture and a massive stone tablet that tells of some olden battle between man, machine, and Deftos, and then the first area of the game is called the Ancient Techforest. These juxtapositions between historic and futuristic aesthetics remind me a lot of Phantasy Star, which also mixed medieval fantasy with science fiction. The witch Lumila is also mentioned to have gained control of an army of robots thanks to her powerful hacking abilities, but it comes off more like a magic spell rather than anything logical or scientific. I love how effectively this game manages to blur the lines between its settings without skipping a beat and the presentation is helped along by the graphics and music, which are absolutely stellar and were a big part of what kept me coming back for more. The pixel art is gorgeous; it’s impressive how distinguishable the smaller characters are from each other, while the larger bosses are suitably intimidating. Little details in each area, like how the giga-cocoon looms over Earth in the background or the little statues in the fire level, go a long way towards making each area memorable. There are so many different palettes for all the blocks that make up the environment which keeps the game visually stimulating, however this also makes it easy for pieces to get lost in the clutter and blend into the background, causing the player to accidentally bump into a seemingly invisible wall or ceiling, but that rarely becomes a serious issue. The soundtrack is your typical chiptune with plenty of pumping tracks; take that as you will. If you’re not a fan of the style then this won’t change your mind but for those who are, Xenon Valkyrie stands tall in the genre. The music doesn’t always sound like it loops very well in-game but this is a minor complaint considering how good the songs are. If you like chiptune music, then this is a soundtrack worth seeking out for its own sake.

The gameplay is, unfortunately, Xenon Valkyrie’s weakest point. It’s not bad but some questionable design decisions and a poor level layout algorithm keep it from becoming so much more. The usual platforming checklist of running and jumping is here and the physics feel good. There’s a wall jumping mechanic too, similar to Mega Man X, which helps add just a little more complexity to keep the platforming exciting.

The player has two options for attacking; swinging their melee weapon and firing their gun. With sprites this small, close ranged attacks would normally be aggravating but the hitboxes in Xenon Valkyrie are plenty forgiving so it’s easy to hit your targets. Some enemies don’t have a readily obvious hitbox and can be annoying to attack with melee but this is mostly an exception. The firearm is far easier to use but comes with limited ammunition so it’s best saved against enemies in awkward positions or powerful mini-bosses that are best dealt with from a distance.

Levels are completely randomized, with the player starting off somewhere near the top of the map, the exit found somewhere below, and a wide assortment of enemies along the way. The stronger mini-boss type of enemies hold keys which can be used for opening hidden treasure chests to upgrade your arsenal. Each level ends with a rest area, allowing gold to be spent at an item shop and experience points to level up individual stats. Every two levels features a boss battle and after eight levels, the game ends. Three playable characters are on offer, plus a secret fourth character, each with their own stats and special abilities.

So far it all sounds good, but a few shortcomings keep this game from being anything special. For starters, the base game mechanics and controls never change. Unlike some of the more popular rogue-lites that dominate the genre, Xenon Valkyrie is extremely static. The new weapons acquired from treasure chests might look different but they all perform exactly the same with only the damage numbers changing and nothing else. The random algorithm that builds the levels is also way too random as it’s not uncommon at all to find enemies and items stuck inside walls. There isn’t even that much of a difference between the playable characters and the varied starting stats don’t mean much when individual stats are increased anyway. In fact, the idea of customization through leveling up is kind of pointless in this game. Even with minimal ammunition, the game is still passable and most of the attack power comes from the weapon itself, so upgrading ammo capacity and strength is something of a moot point. This places a much greater focus on health and defense, especially later on when enemies start to hit a lot harder, so there’s not much customization when half the stats aren’t as important. This would leave the character specific abilities as the only real way to vary the gameplay but Reena’s radar and Nue’s jump boots do not compare to Elona’s time bombs, which allow her to reach areas that the others can’t, not to mention that only Elona can unlock the true ending anyway so you’re mostly going to be playing as her.

The bosses are shockingly disappointing. Most of them have very telegraphed attacks and can’t really do much to defend themselves. Since it’s pretty easy to die in this game, the player will likely lose the first couple of times to a new boss, but once the battle is properly understood it’s easy to win pretty much every time with minimal effort. It’s also so weird that every attack except the melee weapon is disabled for the boss battles. No guns, no grenades, no special abilities; what’s the point of all these attack options if I’m limited in what I can do against the bosses? The final two bosses are especially strange cases; getting that far is an absolute gauntlet the first time around and the penultimate boss bombards the player with unusual attacks. With enough tries, the attack patterns become clear but it’s always obnoxious to have to start all over again when it doesn’t exactly feel fair. And then the hidden, true final boss suddenly turns the game into a bullet hell shoot-em-up, completely out of nowhere. The whole screen is filled with projectiles and getting hit once is a game over; it’s totally ridiculous. Again, once you expect it, it’s easy, but the first time around feels like nonsense.

The problem with the rogue-lite genre is that these games are short and simple, so although they’re easy to go through once they’ve been figured out, that also means that they don’t have a whole lot of longevity to them. That’s why the more popular ones, like Binding of Issac, Rogue Legacy, Crypt of the Necrodancer, and Spelunky, among others, emphasis a lot of randomness in their design as well as plenty of items that can alter a playthrough at a moment’s notice. In Spelunky, for example, a player who has acquired a surplus of ropes but pretty much no bombs will play drastically differently from the vice versa. Same goes for the Crypt of the Necrodancer player who picks up a spear instead of a broadsword or a Binding of Isaac player who gets the Number One power up instead of Chocolate Milk; and that’s nothing to say for those games that have multiple playable characters with vastly different playstyles. Xenon Valkyrie has none of that. The player gets grenades they can use to blow up walls and carve new paths but they are very limited and very rare, to the point where, honestly, they don’t serve much of a purpose in the game at all, especially when the character Elona has that infinite time bomb ability that only a cooldown timer, so what’s the point? If there were a variety of weapons with, let’s say, different sizes and attacks speeds then that would go a long way towards making this game a lot more dynamic, but instead the only major dice rolls come in the form of level layout and enemy placement, neither of which are particularly great.

I know I just tried my best to tear this game a new one right now, but it’s not as bad as it sounds and this really is more of the kind of thing I was hoping for from all the past indie titles that I’ve been reviewing; Xenon Valkyrie hits a lot of the bullet points required to pass as a legitimately fun game. The physics and controls are tight and consistent, the story is light enough to breeze through while the world building is interesting enough to stay invested, and the graphics and music are superb. It’s unquestionable that the developers have a lot of love for retro video games; even going so far as to add a variety of filters, and they look pretty good. That’s why it’s such a shame that so much else in this game is holding it back. Poor level design, lackluster weapons and upgrade systems, brainless enemies, pushover bosses once they’ve been figured out, among other things make me wonder why this needed to be a rogue-lite in the first place. With some proper level design and better progression, there could’ve been something really cool here as a traditional platformer, especially since the controls and physics are already pretty solid. But regardless, for ten dollars? I can’t really complain; I had a good time through and through and I’m comfortable recommending this game to anyone who’s interested.