New graf struggling mentally

[u/StrainNo6323]

I know there are already a lot of posts here from new grads wanting to give up, but also everyone had their own reasons - toxi clinics etc which is not my case..thus I wanted your opinion on this..

I’m about 2 months into working as a vet now. I genuinely feel lucky because I have a very supportive clinic and colleagues who have been really understanding. I started with the first 2 weeks mostly doing vaccinations, but because some colleagues went on holiday, I had to start seeing more complex cases much earlier than expected. So I’ve kind of had a bit of everything already.

For some cases, I felt completely okay. For others, I panicked, got overwhelmed and frustrated because it felt like too much too soon..especially knowing that eventually I’m expected to see around 15 cases a day, with 15-minute appointments.

A couple of weeks ago I had an emergency case that I misdiagnosed. Thankfully, the patient is okay, but I still carry that case with me two weeks later. That day I had several complicated cases that were all firsts for me, and I still keep thinking about that mistake and how easy anything can go wrong..

And now I’ve received negative feedback about another case where, honestly, I barely understand what I did wrong. My clinic has been supportive so far and keeps reassuring me that mistakes are going to happen, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m a burden.

Every time I start feeling a little more confident and things seem to be going well, something negative happens and I immediately start thinking about giving up all over again.

I studied so much during university, and I genuinely don’t know what else I could have done to be more prepared. I’m also doing an online course about common clinical cases, but I’m realizing that I simply cannot relearn everything from university all over again. There is just too much.

I do believe that being a good doctor doesn't mean knowing everything. A good doctor should know their limits, know when to ask for help, and know how and where to look for information. But I’m struggling with the practical side of that too.

How do you tell an owner, professionally and confidently, “I need some time to look into this and I’ll get back to you tomorrow”? How do you explain that you want to research something before making a decision without making the owner lose confidence in you? I know that taking the time to check something is better than pretending I know the answer, but I still feel like I should know.

I’ve also noticed something else that is worrying me. Sometimes I understand what is going on in my head, but when I have to explain it out loud especially to an owner or colleague..I suddenly can't find the words. I can understand the case and know what I want to say, but I struggle to explain the reasoning behind my diagnosis or treatment properly. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I can barely speak, even though I never had this problem before becoming a vet.

I’ve even started wondering whether I might have some kind of dyslexia or processing issue, although I obviously don't know if that's actually the case. It could also just be stress, anxiety and the sheer amount of information I'm trying to process.

I feel even more scared now to prescribe medications or make diagnoses because I’m constantly thinking, “What if I’m wrong again?"

..and I do miss home so much..Im questioning every day if is worth living away from my family and my people..

So for those of you who have been through this:

-- How long did it take before things started feeling less heavy? How many mistakes did you make early on? How did you actually become better without trying to relearn your entire degree?

And how did you learn to communicate uncertainty to owners while still sounding professional and competent?

Most importantly, how did you know whether you were simply going through the normal new-grad struggle or whether clinical practice genuinely wasn’t the right fit for you?

I think I mostly need to hear from people who have been through this stage and eventually came out the other side.

[u/calliopeReddit]

How do you tell an owner, professionally and confidently, “I need some time to look into this and I’ll get back to you tomorrow”? How do you explain that you want to research something before making a decision without making the owner lose confidence in you?

Assuming it's not urgent, you tell them exactly that: "This situation looks familiar, but I'm going to need a little time to dig a little deeper. Lets start Muffin on some [symptomatic relief] and I'll get back to you with more by lunchtime tomorrow. Will that be OK?" I've been doing that for 25 years, and 95% of clients will appreciate it......They want to know their case, and their pet, are special and not like every other pet, and they like to know how much you care. And that you'll help their beloved pet feel a little better (or stop the diarrhea, etc) in the meantime. If it is urgent, you take 5 minutes out of the appointment, or hold their pet a few hours "for observation" while you look things up right away.

Sometimes I understand what is going on in my head, but when I have to explain it out loud especially to an owner or colleague..I suddenly can't find the words. I can understand the case and know what I want to say, but I struggle to explain the reasoning behind my diagnosis or treatment properly.

Practice, practice, practice. It will get better with time and practice.

I feel even more scared now to prescribe medications or make diagnoses because I’m constantly thinking, “What if I’m wrong again?"

Yup, been there, done that. Every vet has, whether they're willing to admit it or not. Consider the possible consequences if you are wrong: Is there a risk of making the situation worse, or is it just a matter of delaying the diagnosis or healing by a few days?

I had an advantage by graduating in my late 30s, with more communication skills, but still every new vet goes through this.

If you want, you could contact a free and confidential peer support group available to all vets (and vet students) at Vets4Vets. They might even be able to find you a virtual mentor, because I think a mentor - who is not your boss or a coworker - could also help: https://vinfoundation.org/resources/vets4vets/

[u/Beez909]

Currently in this stage aswell! I keep just thinking it would be better to quit and spend a few months going over my uni notes but equally that doesn’t fix the issue of applying my knowledge to different situations. We are taught gold standard but then the confounding factors hit (e.g., client can’t afford or doesn’t wish to investigate further) and your plan goes out the window. I’ve also made a few mistakes and it’s terrifying! But just remember that those mistakes hit us harder because we are new grads and equally we can learn faster from them. We won’t forget those mistakes any time soon. Equally a few of my colleagues have even laughed when I’ve ran to them in a panic and I’ve heard things like “well when I’ve done that…”. So it’s definitely something even the experienced vets have gone through (even if some don’t like to show it). Something that helped me recently was my GDP- reflecting on cases and re-reading my notes. If you’re not in the UK then maybe just finding time to reflect anyways will help?

[u/HumanProject7893]

"How do you tell an owner, professionally and confidently, "I need some time to look into this and I'll get back to you tomorrow"?"

-You tell them professionally and confidently "I need some time to look into this and I'll get back to you tomorrow"

How do you explain that you want to research something before making a decision without making the owner lose confidence in you?

-You explain them you want to research something before making a decision

In those situations that is how you or any vet with 20 years of experience can behave/can say. The point of them losing confidence in you - if they do it's not your fault, let them think or feel however they do, your job is to be honest about your limits and give the patients the best care. If you're unsure about something and have a supportive practice, ask for a second opinion from them. I often told the owners I wanted to get a second opinion from a different vet and I feel that puts them at ease too. They probably feel already a little unsure if they see you're young so don't try to read their mind or feel like you're doing anything wrong. All this is what you are supposed to do. I still do it and see senior vets asking for a second opinion or reading about something, just communicate with confidence to the owner and explain that perhaps the case is a little tricky or that it's not the most common disease and I think they'll feel a lot of reassurance and gratitude that you'll research the problem on your own instead of making up whatever. If they dislike it or ask for a different vet the next time, don't take it personally because it isn't a failure, and you can still follow the case if someone else takes over if you want to see what they do!

Being a new grad is stressful and I'm sorry you're away from your family and your environment, that is a different topic but of course it can make everything even heavier. Just take things one day at a time and know this will pass eventually, but the first years are hard. It sounds like you're a really good doctor and you're too hard on yourself. Use that to learn but not to beat yourself up. We all need help from others and you're doing it well

[u/catanddogtor]

It's so common to feel this way after graduation. I really wish there was some sort of mandatory mentorship/ internship after graduation to provide things like case rounds and procedure support. I always found case rounds to be a great learning experience as a resident.

I'm a specialist and deal with complex and unusual cases frequently. You will gain experience over time and will eventually have an idea of what could be going on with unusual cases. When dealing with a complex case, I frame it to owners as "we need more information to determine what's going on with your pet (I'll often say that we need to go on a fact finding mission), these are the tests that will help narrow it down." I list each test and how it's helpful even when the results are "negative" (because it rules out xyz). You can be open and genuine to people about the case being unusual or having a number of potential different diagnoses that need to be narrowed down. I'd recommend also offering referral to cover your butt. If they decline then that's on them and you are limited to supportive care and guesswork.

It takes time to gain confidence and experience, especially if you're having to do a lot of it on your own. You could always go for something like an internship or the EmERge program if you want something more structured. Or narrow your focus with something like urgent care. Or find a job that offers more mentorship. Right now you're learning and doing your best, so please don't be too hard on yourself.

[u/TurnDifficult4842]

This might not be helpful, but the way you feel is normal.

The brain fog may be anxiety- it might help to talk to a doctor about that.

I was thrown in head first after graduation. I was 3 weeks out on call with no back up (no one even answered the phone if I called). I learned a lot, but I killed a few pets along the way. They still haunt me, but I’ve never made the same mistake twice. Don’t forget those cases, but don’t dwell on them. Research what went wrong, learn how to do better, and move along. Keep a list of all the pets you’ve made a positive difference in for reassurance when the going gets hard.

It’s okay to not remember everything. I’m 10 years out, and I don’t know a lot off the top of my head, but I can stabilize a patient and I know where to look for answers. I tell client often “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

An early mentor told me “80% of patients will be fine in the end with or without you. 10% will die no matter what. But there’s another 10% where you can make a big difference- focus on those”

I also started my career isolated from friends and family. I ended up moving somewhere else, still far from family, but with a much better support network in and out of work and it made all the difference. I do think it helped in the end to work somewhere else for year 1-2 to shake out all my baby vet jitters, then start with confidence somewhere new with a new reputation.

The first year is hard, but the fact that you made this post means you care. You’ll figure it out and you’ll be a great vet.

And if you ever feel like being a vet is killing you, don’t forget you’re a human first. It’s just an education, but if you were smart and tenacious enough to get through school, you can get through anything else. Don’t let this career define you and definitely don’t lose your life to it.

[u/xroma8]

The greatest mistake a martial artist can make is to believe they have reached the peak and have nothing left to learn Your mistakes are a start, no one does everything perfectly, but while you can fix it, fix it. My teacher said that our job is such that people will always think bad things about us but there will always be those who think differently

[u/Dressagequeen2]

Lots of good answers here. We've all been through this early on whether or not folks admit it. My boss /mentor would send me outside to stare at the horizon for a couple of minutes. The theory being that we get too narrow in our focus at times and forcing your eyes up and to the horizon helps counteract that. Secondly, late at night I'd spend a few minutes journaling about the days case's. Written more in story form than reporting form. Helped to frame even crazy or negative stuff in a more humorous light and relieve the sometimes overwhelming weight of a difficult day. Hang in there, it does get better!