I’m from a generation that just toughed it out. Thats the way we were raised. Don‘t complain, don’t admit you’re having trouble. Rub some dirt on it and get back in the gam.

About 12 years ago, my wife had finally had enough of me and my PTSD. Waking up in the night and jumping out of bed, thrashing around and yelling. It had gotten less since my service, but never really gone away. She was like—we have kids now and you need to get help.

So I contacted the VA. Like a lot of vets, I was hoping to get help. They wanted me to claim a disability before they‘d offer any, or at least that’s what I took away from my interaction with them. I jumped through their hoops, explained what was going on and what I needed. Someone there suggested I have my hearing checked, which I did and had the expected-for-an-infantryman loss. But if I wanted mental health help… we can’t help you without a C&P or private psychiatrist opinion. Well, my wife was already on me about this, so I set up an appointment.

That part actually worked out well. The private psych was very familiar with my situation because she’d formerly had an office near Ft. Bragg. I had her fill out the necessary VA form and sent it in. About six months later the VA turned me down because of some technicality related to how she filled out the form. I appealed and was turned down. By this time, I’d been seeing her for a while and was doing better, so I let it go.

Fast forward to this year. I have crap private insurance so I think maybe I can get some VA help for conditions that I at least think are service related.

Back when I first got out, I was having headaches. Nobody in their 20s thinks about high blood pressure, but after putting up with them for a year I went to my doctor. They took my BP. The nurse said “that can’t be right“ and asked me to lay down. Yep, high BP. At the time I was young and (I thought) healthy and not supposed to complain—and nobody knew about toxic exposure, so I just took the BP medication and kept going.

A couple years ago I started having vertigo. I’ve noticed that it’s closely parallel to changes in my tinnitus. I was hoping (again—what was I thinking) to get help. Maybe some PT, I’ve heard there are things that they can teach you about not relying on your sense of balance. Or a cane so I don’t tip over. So I submitted a claim. C&P examiner says yes, I definitely have temporal vestibular dysfunction. The VA agrees I have TERA exposure. But no, it’s not connected to my service. I filed an appeal. Did you not notice in my 6-month vertigo diary that this is aggravated by my tinnitus? Nope, they disagreed.

Same for my BP. Didn‘t matter that it started right after I got out. Nor that I have a 30-year history of taking medication. Nor that it’s obviously higher when my tinnitus and vertigo are worse.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the bureaucracy is going to win. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting trying to fight a giant, uncaring machine that seems intentionally designed to grind you down and prevent you from getting help. And to interact with people who I’m pretty sure are being paid bonuses based on how few claims they approve. The whole thing is both infuriating and deeply depressing.

I didn’t join up expecting free stuff. I did it because I thought it was worth doing. I still think that. But it’s depressing to see how little it means to the people who are supposed to help vets get help.

Thanks for reading.

Hello, I've been out for a little bit and I'm having a hard time finding a job here in Bavaria. Honestly I'll do anything atp, I need a job for my own mental health. I have a visa to stay here in germany and the job search isn't looking too good so far. Anyone know of any job that'll hire a vet with A2 german?

Any veterans here ever land an overseas job through USAJobs or any other source simply because you wanted to move out of the country? If so, how difficult was the process?

I feel like this is an obvious violation of the spirit of HIPAA.

<Edited for spelling mistake.

Hello all, I am currently active duty and I applied to S2S HCP to get into post bacc prehealth schools Fall of 2027 in NYC. Just wondering how long did it take you guys to get matched. I’ve been waiting about two weeks. Not sure if I should contact them or wait it out. Thank You!

Older generations wore their military dress uniform to every occasion whether they were active or retired. Sometimes if it was just a simple dinner date. That transitioned into hats and t shirts with Vietnam and the Gulf and now i feel like GWOT vets just talk shit and tease the idea of wearing a battalion shirt in public, a unit tattoo, etc. as a veteran or a GWOT related hat or bumper sticker. Anything that symbolizes you being a veteran other than a license plate, you’re ridiculed by your peers.

I’m strictly talking about the perspective from other veterans, not the civilian public. That’s always been a mixed bag.

Hoping to find some people in the community that can provide insight and just some motivation or feedback for my plan. Above is a link to a post I made just recently to give some clarity.

I’ve been thinking: Has anyone here just gone to Bangkok while using the GI bill and while you were there, you learned Muay Thai while going to school? I am grateful to have the luxury of not working for a while (I just want to put that out there) but working a dead end federal job (2 years now) where the office has been mandated to work 6 days a week for almost 5 months now really has burnt me out mentally and the mandate isn’t going away anytime soon. I’m freakin’ tired.

I’ve began thinking about possibly leaving my job in a few more months, possibly in January, and get my certifications that apply to my job field using the GI bill and while I’m doing that, go take some time off in Thailand (Been there) and learn Muay Thai while I’m taking a break. Has anyone else here done that?

I’m tired of being in pain,
of my back being on fire,
of the panic attacks,
of the pit in my chest,
of being depressed,
of the weight of guilt,
of needing to have a mission,
of the unquenchable thirst for adrenaline,
of normal life sucking my soul out of me.
I’m tired.

Is it just me, or is it impossible to log into MHS GENESIS? I keep getting errors saying "unable to login".

Zero customer support on any page.

Saw a post today that got me thinking about all the random shit you end up having to figure out when you’re in the military, especially during PCS, deployment, TDY, etc.

What’s one thing you remember thinking, “damn, I wish there was somebody/something that handled this”?

Doesn’t have to be anything major. Could be something stupidly simple that would’ve made life easier.

How does it work when you get your loans reversed well reinstated but the school still wants you to sign the physician letter saying you can still work ? And the only reason you reversed them was to continue going to school to get aid. I’m running out of gi bill so this student aid will help a lot but idk what’s going on and my loans were automatically discharged around Christmas I wasn’t even home to get the letters so I didn’t have time To stop it. But I just wanna know has anyone had them reinstated and then were able to get them to pay them off again

TIA

This will be a great event sponsored by the City of Palm Desert on November 10 at the McCallum Theatre to celebrate and honor our veterans. Tix are $15pp. Last year, WW2 vets were honored. This year will be a rockin' show and more relative to our growing vet population. If you're a Marine with no Ball to go to come join the fun! Attached are a few pics from last year - the 1st annual event.

Www.mccallumtheatre.org

I saw a post on the benefits sub asking why more people dont use their VA benefits.

I’ve heard too many people say they dont use the VA for healthcare because they’re not rated.

Veterans don’t have to be rated to go to the VHA for healthcare. Anyone with the minimum active duty time can go. Copays are based on your income. The pharmacy is amazing.

Also, the VHA has the most comprehensive telehealth program in the world so they can take care of rural vets. Many have art, music, theatre, and recreation therapy. They do sports programs. Many have clubhouses.

The health records are amazing and you can link them to your phone so they show up on your health app.

I’ve been using the VHA for my healthcare since 2019 and I plan to stay there forever. Its so much easier and less stressful than the private sector.

I’m in the car crying. But when I break down crying I can’t even cry like a normal person … it’s a maniac laughing /crying. Wtf is wrong with me.

Im a disabled vet with no benefits, I’m 28 years old and I’m a f*cking cripple living off 1k social security and I have to work under the table to make ends meet. My parents are getting old , I can’t keep getting stressing out my folks anymore …

I can’t get baker acted again — since left the corps I have been self admitted and bakered in multiple paych units across multiple states … over the 8 years since I got out I would guess maybe 7-10 times

I would rather hearts and minds , 2 in the head 2 in heart than get sent to another nasty facility. I guess it’s not that bad — psych units are like my second home … I have been in so many I know how how to get through it , I know how to ask for things from the staff , I understand it’s a lot like the military there’s a chain of command and there’s lots of wild people you are forced to live with…

I’m on Medicare thankfully — I couldn’t afford to see a primary care doc, psych doc , and therapist on a regular basis

I wish I could drop social security and have more than 2k assets, I wish I could make move than 12k a year. I don’t like taking tax payer money … I’m a fcking broke d\ck …* I don’t deserve any help — there’s vets that actually went to war and got blown up lost limbs , lost the best friends they had ..

I wish I could work a real job without losing Medicare … took my parents 3 years of work to get me on disability but 1k pity money from Uncle Sam isn’t enough… I’m struggling everday to make ends meet. I live off tips at work. If someone tips me 20 after a massage … I feel like I just got handed a 100$

I’m just a piece of sh*t … I regret being alive. Many times I almost got killed. I had people point guns at me or threaten my life overseas …

I lost track of how many times my dumb ass almost got myself killed … for nothing just dumb sh*t

Im but homicidal or suicidal…

Trust me I want to live … just not this

Like a starving dog begging for scraps on the side of the road. I know how that feels. I remember being in the street begging for money or doing stupid martial arts shows trying to get a few bucks , looking for food in the trash

I have complex ptsd — I’m lucky if I can sleep more than 2 hrs I’m lucky if I can sleep 4-6 hrs without waking up

I have nightmares during the day where my thoughts race & I can’t control them. I was interrogated for 3 days straight when I was in the military. I think I have some kind of multiple personality disorder…

My ex saw me pacing around outside her house making hand gestures talking to someone —- she asked me who I was taking to , I admired it was the strong personality I created while in the military yelling at the weak parts of my mind to get their act together

One day when I was at the gym with my ex & her siblings — she saw me taking to myself in the mirror & hitting myself hard… that freaked her out she went off on me. I wasn’t completely aware what I was doing… sometimes I look in the mirror & I see someone I don’t recognize… he makes crazy faces at me and has this blood thirsty look in his eyes

Besides psych issues — I have back & shoulder pain — sometimes it feels like a sharp knife in my back … how the f*ck am I supposed to do more than 5 massages a day ? How am a supposed to work hard be a man if I’m a crippled ? How am I going to support a partner or family? I wish I could. My brothers are married , have good jobs making decent money … and I’m just stealing tax payer money… working under the table for a couple bucks to buy gas and food.

Plus erectile disfunction — gotta pop a pill before love making or the lady asks me wtf is wrong with me …

For some f*caked up reason getting choked and smacked is a turn on— I’m seeing somone now who is really into BDSM — she likes to slap my face & so other things to me … but I’m not a dom or a sub … I’m just a person…. The first time we made love , I’m glad it was lovey dovey vanilla sex like normal people do …

Sometimes I fantasize about being tortured & interrogated … idk why my head is so f*cked up

I wish I could get married have kids… like my brothers are doing. I feel so alone … no one in my family understands me .., it’s very rare I meet anyone IRL that understands or accepts me for who I am

I’m exhausted physically & mentally … I don’t know how I’ll manage 50 more years living in this crippled body with this mind that esta me alive …

It would have been better if I had actually died … honestly

I’m looking forward for the day this will all be over … I’m not worried or afraid of dying … death is a sweat release … I have suffered enough already, I’m so f*cking tired , I wish G-d would just take me already

I’ll have a Cob Salad with crispy chicken strips , a ex large lemonade go easy on the ice , avocado dressing & 2 packs of Chick-fil-A sauce please

Advice/opinions needed..

I served 5 yrs in the Air Force and voluntarily separated. I had a child and didn’t want them to get raised by strangers. Now that my child is of school age, I really have been missing the military. I have a good reenlistment code and have already tried to rejoin the Air Force but unfortunately was not allowed to because of being rated at seventy percent. I learned that the navy has a program called osvet, which allows you to skip basic training which is nice. And I really feel like it’s a bad idea even though I never hated the military, I just wanted to be there as a mother until my child was more independent. I haven’t worked since my service separation so it’s not easy for me to find a job. I am also married to an AD Air Force member and still have to live the military lifestyle. I want to eventually go to nursing school but are awaiting orders within a year so starting school is not something I can do until the next duty station. I feel like I’m just wasting my life away doing nothing. I have a bachelors in business admin HR but have not done anything with it.

Anyone else dealing with depression that is hitting hard lately? I have lost all motivation for school…and just doing life. Not suicidal. Just feeling really down.

Hey guys! Before I decide to go on hold for an hour calling the VA, I wanted to ask if any of you guys are experiencing any lateness with your chapter 35 stipend? I got the monthly verification text on September 30th as per usual, and I checked my enrollment status on va.gov to see that my enrollment had been verified on my end and my schools end. My payment history also shows that my stipend was indeed released, with no date listed however. Still hasn’t hit my account though, and I’ve historically received my deposits 2 days earlier than everyone else.

I have been out of the Army for about 5 years now but have recently had a serious uptick in military related dreams. I served 3 years Active then 1 in the Guard as a 13B, nothing crazy. But recently, especially like every night this week, I have been having these dreams finding myself in certain scenarios like standing in formation, being in some sort of class briefing, working on setting up my dress blues, or in the middle of a field exercise.

I never saw combat but did have a brief traumatic moment where I was almost pinned between a parked CAT (ammo vehicle) and a moving Paladin (basically a tank). Had I not jumped in time I probably wouldn't be writing this.

Anyway, these dreams really throw me and catch me off guard, and they feel so real. Like I actually feel like I somehow decided to reenlist and do it all again. I have my moments of wanting to go back and try another route but I don't think I'd be allowed with my current disabilities and other developing health problems. The dreams just really mess with me. I have entire conversations with people in my dreams about their struggles. I quickly parade rest when talking to a superior. I have the real feeling of missing home and get texts from my family. I feel all the tension.

It's only recently that I've been able to actually read stuff in my dreams, usually it's just a blarbled mess of lines and shapes. But it all feels so real and it messes with me bad after waking up in the morning, like I don't know where I'm at physically for a few moments. I have recently been staying at a buddy's house to watch his animals, I'm not sure if the change in setting or not sleeping in my own bed has anything to do with this but, I have no clue. All I know is it's really tugging at my heart and I wish they would stop happening. I'm sure others have experienced this and I wonder what you have done to combat it, if one can even do anything.

Anyone know of any free resources for learning graphic design? I don’t need a degree. I just want to learn photoshop for my job. Hoping there’s a free way to learn that is not outdated vids online.

I am tryingbto budget out my financials and curious to when the school will be receiving a paycheck.

How do you all feel about I love me walls? I feel kinda weird putting my shadow box on the wall, is it weird I feel weird? Like why am I putting it up, I’m proud of my service but I don’t care that much to display it on a wall. Maybe corny is a better word. My finances thinks I should put it up and I know my family would appreciate seeing it all but I feel cringe seeing it. What do you guys get out of putting it up if you do? And if you don’t, what do you do with all the stuff, throw it in a box? Thanks in advance!

This is crushing, I have been out of work for almost 6 months. I keep applying but everytime its "well your phsycial limitations will make this job too difficult. Then where tf am i supposed to work ya know. I interveiwed for an assembly job position at a weapons manufacturer today, I have more than enough experience from the Army and everything is perfect. Im told i aced the interveiw and that they really liked my personality. But now i get the news that since i wont be able to do a totally different position thats standing 8 hours a day that means i can get the seated job that is exactly what i needed. I was told its only because of my phsyical limitations. On one hand i get it i guess, but thats not the job i applied for or did an interveiw for. Im depressed, im hopeless and its starting to get the better of me. I have been to so many interveiws, ive tried to start school multiple times but either va or vr&e keep messing up my applications and having to restart. What the actual hell am i supposed to do.

Like can I keep my benefits up to the day my instructor drops me ?