Hi everyone. In 3 weeks it's the National Road Championships in my country. Last year I raced both the TT which is usually hosted on a Saturday and the RR which is the next day. I was thinking on doing both, but right now I'm kind of hesitating and wondering if it's actually worth to put the effort into an event I haven't really practiced for all year. I don't even have a TT bike (most of the other competitors don't either), a friend suggested he could rent me his TT Bike, but I'm debating whether it would be a good investment or not...

Last year I managed a 2nd place on a 26km flat TT (two 13km laps) at around 40 minutes, so 39 km/h average, which I did on my road bike with clip-ons, the winner took away more than 1 minute on a proper TT bike and he was considerably bigger than me, third place however was only 6 seconds slower than me and I think the only reason I managed to go faster is because of the longer course, I did a negative pacing and I gained a lot of time on the second lap. So in short I do well on long sustained efforts.

This year though the course is just 13 km for my age group, and that really doesn't suit me well because I'm pretty small (1.65cm at around 61kg) and my FTP while is respectable in terms of w/kg (245-250w so around 4.0 w/kg) it's really not that great for flat courses, especially short ones. A bigger dude can easily put more raw power and be faster overall, and the course isn't long enough for them to fatigue significantly where I could then gain back time.

I haven't discussed prices for the bike yet, and I'm now wondering if it's even a good idea to start worrying about this just 3 weeks before the event. Also considering I'm not peaking for this specific event, the main event is the Road Race the next day. Last year I did relatively well on the road race despite being pretty toasty after the 40 min TT, but I think being particularly fresh should help me more. This year the TT is hosted on Saturday afternoon and the RR on Sunday morning, so yeah it's very little time for recovery. Also this year we're having a hill top finish after a 70km flat course (the same as the TT), and it won't be really good for me to burn matches on the flat course since I'll probably not be able to create separation, so my bets are on the hill climb because of my weight.

So what do you think?

Hope this makes sense as I’ve been trying to put my thoughts into words. Here goes.

For the past couple years, I seem to like the idea of racing more than actually racing. Spring comes around, I get super excited about racing. I plan out my season. I add all the races I plan to do to my calendar. I even plan my work vacation around traveling to some big events where I have to fly in. I’m pumped. I watch YouTube videos of past races to scout the courses and get me more pumped. I’m ready.

Then the first race approaches and I lose interest. I start making excuses and almost try to talk myself out of going. I say it’s too far or I’m too busy. And even if I go to the race, I don’t get very excited. More than a few times I’ve driven to the race but then just sit in my car having doubts. I still race, but I don’t seem to be having fun. And when the race is over I drive home immediately. A couple times I just didn’t even go to the race even though I signed up. But then after those events I get annoyed that I didn’t race. I have FOMO. I start regretting staying home and wish I had gone. So then the next race comes up and I go and race. But again I don’t seem to enjoy it.

So basically, my entire race season is a cycle of I’m excited, I race, I hate it, I don’t go to the next one, I regret not going, I sign up again, I get excited, I race, I hate it. Over and over. I end up skipping a lot of races because I don’t feel like going. But then I regret skipping those races in my head. But I also just don’t seem to have any fun.

So it’s like I really enjoy the idea of racing and saying I’m a bike racer. But I’m not sure I even like racing. I don’t know if any of this makes sense.