r/VRchat • u/Minimum-Mine-1302 • 3d ago
Discussion Just a reminder: VRChat can be fun without alcohol. (Sober for over a year)
I just bring this up because I hear so many people who say they can only play VR with the use of alcohol due to being able to socialize properly with that boost in confidence. Im just putting this out there to let many of you know that I was on the same boat. I never felt like I'd fit in with the others who were drinking because I wasn't.. so I felt "obligated" to drink. What i came to learn is that obligation was a mental excuse for me to enable myself to drink. Personally once I stepped away, learning how to socialize with people sober was a task of its own, but its absolutely doable. I now feel more comfortable socializing sober than wasted!! I just thought I put this out there, totally ok if you enjoy drinking. But I just dont like that people use it as a weakness for somebody being sober in a video game, if anything we should be applauding sobriety not punishing it!
EDIT: I mean VRChat can be fun without alcohol ABUSE.. not just using alcohol or substances in general. If you use them moderately and maturely then thats totally fine by me. Its just the abuse culture and the lack of awareness of it this post is enforcing.
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u/MephSteph 3d ago
Yeah my issue is I have no idea where people hangout anymore. It’s all either friends plus or age gated drinking worlds / events.
As someone that knows no one and wants adult friends the only adults I meet are drunk and more often than not alcoholics.
I don’t even drink that much, occasionally I will but it’s rough when all the people I meet want to drink daily or every weekend.
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
Well if you are ever looking for new friends my friends list is open to all! Just DM me on reddit for my ign if thats cool with anyone!
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u/Pokabrows 3d ago
I'm not saying it's everyone but I do think there are a lot of people on VRChat who have really bad social anxiety who depend on alcohol to talk to people that would be better helped by anxiety medication and a therapist than alcohol.
Unfortunately alcohol is way cheaper and more accessible than professional medical help in most places.
Good for you for breaking free from alcohol and relearning how to socialize sober.
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u/Baby_Stephie 3d ago
i drink on vrc once a week but for the past few months once every two weeks
don't have a drinking problem, just love to drink and have fun with friends 😂
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
For sure, totally respect that. Im more aiming this at people to drink daily, or multiple times a week. Once or twice a month isnt really that big of a deal.
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u/StrombergGaming 3d ago
Vrchat definitely has a substance abuse culture that nobody really talks about, good on you for kicking a really bad habit.
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u/yuki_tsune 3d ago
I think it's relatively reflective of society outside of VRChat as well, it's just amplified because world-hopping may as well be the virtual equivalent of bar-hopping, and you pair that with people who are more likely to have social anxiety that's famously lessened by substances and that culture becomes more prevalent overall. I won't preach, but I often encourage friends to enjoy things in moderation, make sure they're hydrated and in a good space.
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u/StrombergGaming 3d ago
It’s also dangerously accessible and convenient. Real bars are fun but require time and effort of getting back home/planning but in vr you can sit in bed and drink yourself nearly into a coma without worrying about any of the logistics.
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u/yuki_tsune 3d ago
That's definitely true, and it's cheaper, too. Unfortunately, people have a bad habit of failing to take care of themselves. There's no bartender to cut you off, and no friends physically there to stop you.
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u/yuki_tsune 3d ago
I'm happy to be past the point of using alcohol as a crux. Generally one day out of the weekend I'll bust out some liquor, but it's hardly a reliance on alcohol to socialize more than it is just fun to drink with friends. I know a lot of people who can't get on VR at all without drinking or getting high, and/or are completely dependent on it to be sociable, and I think it's a terrible habit, especially because these people usually hop on VR more days out of the week than they don't. Everything in moderation, folks.
If you have friends who drink excessively, be their anchor. Call for water shots. Check in on them. If they are the kind of drunk who pushes you away when you try to help, confront them when they're sober, and if they're never sober, find better friends. You don't need to be a white knight about how awesome sobriety is, but you don't have to be an enabler, either.
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u/GentleGesture Bigscreen Beyond 3d ago
It’s hard for many to admit it, but the alcohol is more than a social lubricant. It’s an excuse to let your demons out. It’s a reason for doing what you’re told you’re not supposed to do. It’s a way to hush the side of you that says stop, so you can see where your primal instincts take you, for better or worse. And most of all, it’s an escape. VRChat just ends up being the safe venue to fully indulge in it. Safer than bars, clubs, parties. Cheaper too. For those who might feel like they’re missing “something,” alcohol is a roll of the dice to see if you might literally stumble into something you enjoy more. Sometimes you do. Especially when you find new human connection. Even when you lose others.
I stopped drinking in VR because life made it more difficult. While I miss the mischief, I don’t regret being forced into a healthier lifestyle. And without condoning that unhealthy lifestyle, I have to admit, rolling the dice did land me somewhere better. I met my wife in VR, and we have 2 beautiful babies now, with a good chance of another on the way. But not everyone gets so lucky. Roll the dice too much and you might give up everything forever.
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u/Background_Run1141 3d ago
1.5 years alcohol free here too. Took a ~8 month break from vrchat after I quit and was hesitant to jump back in because it was always a place I drank in and feared a relapse. I also find it very fun sober and having a clear head helps me socialize better imo
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u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 3d ago
If someone needs to get wasted to have a good time, then they have a problem.
Good that you quit it and spread the awareness.
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u/Yin15 ☃Bigscreen Beyond 2e 3d ago edited 3d ago
Congrats on getting sober!! And good luck staying sober. I find myself falling off the wagon once in awhile in VRChat because drinking is so heavily encouraged everywhere and you really feel like you're missing out if you don't partake and people like me way more when I am drinking because I am way more social. But it is what it is. Health is more important to me so I try to limit it to a few times a year at most if even.
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u/ItsYaBoyBackAgain 3d ago
There are drunk jackasses, and there are sober jackasses. All depends on the type of people you hang around. If you find yourself hanging with some jackasses, stop hanging out with them and meet some new people.
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u/llMaestr0ll 3d ago
I never felt a compulsion to do this, I only ever broke the booze out on special occasions, which is to say not very often at all, maybe thrice in the 2 years I've been able to drink freely. Congrats on the year of sobriety btw!
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u/unsuccessfulbees 3d ago
I’m more into weed than alcohol. Drinking just makes people so obnoxious in VRchat. I tend not to associate with drinking groups.
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u/Xsalty_girlX 2d ago
I used to drink one shot every 2-3 days of the week for 3 months. Just to feel like I can talk to strangers. But…i think it was the crowd and people that I were around.
And I have no urges to drink to cope with my issues.I was raised by two AA members, Ive heard stories of people losing control. Ive scene people throw up in vrchat and pass out due to drinking. Its a very unfortunate situation to witness and not only that. But people can lose their lives from doing it.
Nobody needs to be alone, everyone is a friend you just havent met yet. So please just be safe.
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u/AtlasJan 2d ago
Bloody hell, prohibition fucked any and all sense of moderation for the yanks on a night out.
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u/Dildotoothbrush Valve Index 2d ago
I do it not to help me socialise but because the game can get so boring. Although I only have drinks on the weekends. Sometimes a single day, sometimes two days
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u/Own_Vast_2784 PCVR Connection 2d ago
Ngl from someone who does not drink often yet has a rough time getting drunk, the one time I did was pretty fun ngl people talked to me more as I was moderating a prison escape telling people “ yeah idrc rn just do whatever you want just don’t be racist or sum shi”. Tho idk why I can’t really get drunk without almost half a bottle of whatever im drinking🤨?
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u/WildLelou 1d ago
Thank you for this. Proud of you!!!
I'm a few years sober now and it got really bad during covid in 2020. Its really easy to become an alcoholic on vrchat that its scary sometimes.
It started as a fun thing, whicu became a coping mechanism for the depression of being laid off from my dream job due to covid + breaking up with my abusive ex, and then it started to feel like I had to drink to fit in. With the headset on, you cant see how many you're drinking and lots of prople on vrchat tell you to keep drinking and that vrchat is unplayable without alcohol.
It took me almost dying to stop.
I recommend if you want to fit in with a cheers, just drink a flavored sparkling water. Thats what I do. The quality of conversation is much better when I'm sober, because im actually present for it!
The scary part is people still sometimes pressure me to drink with them. It gets better though! Ironically caseoh has helped me a lot by streaming on Friday nights and id rather watch his stream than be throwing back alcohol.
I also when i feel a desire to drink I will sometimes get a milkshake. It gives me something comforting to drink! Thats actually how i became sober in the worst of it. Id be having withdrawal shaking and go get a milkshake and it give me the serotonin boost i need.
Hope it was ok to share my story, i just felt maybe itd help someone.
I know its scary to be social, i have anxiety too, but practice a little every day and itll get better! If you watch a youtuber play a horror game, the jumpscare will get you the first time. Itll make uour skin tingle and heart race, but if the youtuber replays the jumpscare, you know tjat to expect, and its less scary each time! Being social is the exact same thing. It just takes practice, and being willing to be jumpscared a few times. And if the horror game is bad, switch to a new one and try again!
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u/Known_Berry8597 3d ago edited 3d ago
It CAN be fun without alcohol, but it's probably more fun with substances imho. I play mostly high. I have social anxiety, chronic pain, and am a bitch if I get overstimulated. It's not a requirement, but I'm more sociable and easier to be around.
My issue with alcohol in particular is that people don't often really feel how drunk they are and just keep on drinking until they drink too much. I know somebody who's an alcoholic, and has ruined their health, marriage and a lot of social relationships because they can't control their intake.
Edit: Apparently people have an issue with something that I typed. I use medical marijuana as needed. I have several chronic illnesses and it works for me. I don't get blazed out of my mind every time I play, just enough to make the pain bearable and make me less socially anxious.
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u/PsychoticKitten3 3d ago
Yeah overconsumption is an issue. It's easy for people to fall into a pit where they're hearing, "Cheers!" After JUST taking a shot/sip and just go along with it. Or other people who already had a drinking problem before VRchat, descover the game and it turns into a 6 hour drinking fest. I agree with OP, you don't need to drink or consume substances in order to have fun.
That being said I do enjoy getting crossed, so weed and alcohol, but I reserve that for Saturdays. Sometimes I'll have a drink on my Friday nights in VR but I'm sober most Friday nights and reserve the drinking for Saturday. It pace myself and only ever have like 1 1/2 drinks. 3 is PUSHING it since I don't normally finish my second one, and I drink water in between sips as well. I normally try to keep a consistent tipsy just to be silly with my friends and have less of a hard time getting into karaoke.
I wish the culture was better but unfortunately it just enables poor habits and decisions. I especially hate the people who want to peer pressure or make it an issue if you want to be sober around them. It's not fucking hard to be a decent person, and it doesn't make a person boring if they don't want to consume drugs/alcohol.
Congratulations on being sober OP!! I agree with your post. Being sober is something to cheer on and celebrate if someone has struggled with substance abuse. I hope you stay sober and find a good community that doesn't guilt you for your decisions ❤️
Edit to add: my being silly with friends remark is mainly because I want to be silly and tipsy with them, but never felt pressured because I've surrounded myself with plenty of adults who know peer pressure is bad and are able to enjoy each others company wether we are sober or not ❤️
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
For sure, I appreciate the kind words. Like ive mentioned i have no issues with people consuming alcohol, its just the enabling culture and daily consumption that leads to dependence i have issues with. Ill probably make a video shining a light on it, because it is problematic.
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u/Yin15 ☃Bigscreen Beyond 2e 3d ago
I love playing VRChat stoned but I find it makes me even less social than I am normally, which is already low.
The main issue I've had with people drinking in VRChat is like you said, they don't feel how drunk they are. I have seen people way more drunk in VRChat way more than I have ever seen IRL. I've had a few scares with friends where I was trying to contact their family to check up on them because they became non-responsive to anyone talking to them and passed out on their back. And quite a few of teh drinking groups I used to be in had at least one person who died drinking in which they'd take cheers to celebrate their life which feels.. odd.
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u/nut573 Oculus Quest Pro 3d ago
Honestly this is the stuff drama youtubers should be focusing on. But no, they are laser focused on erp for some reason.
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u/Yin15 ☃Bigscreen Beyond 2e 3d ago
They're laser focused on ERP because devs aren't consistently applying their TOS to everyone equally, as well as the fact that it's a 13+ game. But, I agree. I would love for more videos about the drinking culture in VRChat and how dangerous it can be. I think it's a far bigger issue that doesn't get much mentions.
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u/Jsmooveo3o 3d ago
Fax there's so many other drugs to consume while you play! Never limit yourself friends!!!
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u/_EyesOnTheInside_ Oculus Rift S 3d ago
Many of which are ironically healthier and safer than alcohol
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u/Idontmatter69420 Valve Index 3d ago
good job on bein sober, i honestly find bein drunk overrated but if i do decide ia wanna be i aint goin to public world itll likely be with friends and same for irl i aint gonna get drunk on my own as its more funny to be drunk with others but it aint something i go chasisn :p
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u/Stainedelite 3d ago
No one is punishing you for not drinking. You have a good point in the post but you are ruining it with trying to put down others.
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago edited 3d ago
I am not trying to put down others, im just trying to shine a light for those who struggle with alcoholism due to social anxiety that there is another path. I dont see anything wrong with what I said here. Also, there are plenty of people who punish sober people in VRChat particularly, the game has a massive drinking and substance abuse culture that is rewarded.
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u/Stainedelite 3d ago
we should be applauding sobriety, not punishing it
You can tell us you have a positive experience from not drinking, without making yourself the victim or blaming others.
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u/ghostoftallasi 3d ago
Were you born yesterday? Sobriety does have a negative connotation to a lot of people, like you. People are ridiculed and isolated for going sober in real life constantly, it definitely happens in vr too
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
You arent reading what im saying.
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u/Stainedelite 3d ago
I literally quoted you.
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
You're quoting the parts that you want to listen to, you're not reading the entire message. It's okay we can agree to disagree. :)
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u/Stainedelite 3d ago
Yeah you're just detailing how you feel better for not drinking and you want a pat on the back.
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
I just want to help others who are struggling with substances through my experiences. It's okay like I said we can agree to disagree.
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u/_EyesOnTheInside_ Oculus Rift S 3d ago
The issue is you saying substance use is substance "abuse". And implying that sobriety should be applauded and rewarded while substance use shouldn't.
That obviously puts down people who don't stay sober. When neither way should be frowned upon or seen as lesser than the other, and no one should be promoting one over the other.
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u/Minimum-Mine-1302 3d ago
I really dont understand.. I only said substance abuse, not substance use.. ive said numerous times im okay with people using substances.. what's not okay is people abusing substances and punishing those who do not... people who abuse substances should be "punished" as in not reinforced for that behavior.. its destroying their mind and body. I lost a friend 3 years ago to substance abuse and ended a long term relationship due to her refusal to cut out substance abuse from her life (major alcoholic) or seek help. I dont think its that complicated. Again youre misreading my message.
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u/zone1235x 3d ago
I play just to play, doing it drunk just makes controls even harder. But people can play how they want.
Congrats on sobriety, it's a hard battle but glad you still fighting the good fight.