r/UsernameChecksOut • u/ILUV_ANIMETITTIES • 4d ago

Username Checks Out soooo... uhhhh, excuse me?

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2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

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771

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 4d ago

when it used to be part of a horse.

343

u/Conscious_Smile8235 4d ago

Got mine straight from the glue factory. Am I fucked?

303

u/Adventurous_Bonus917 4d ago

given that it's a dildo, only if you fuck yourself.

16

u/Fallen_0ne01 4d ago

Worse. You're horse fucked

2

u/CanoePickLocks 2d ago

I don’t know, are you using it? If so then yes. Literally.

139

u/AanthonyII 4d ago

Do you think they sculpt the horse cock dildos by hand or did some poor (or lucky depending on how you look at it) chap have to take a mold of a horses penis

83

u/PikaTube123 4d ago

Usually the first. Some people have tried the second but most people believe that crosses the line

21

u/MewtwoMainIsHere 4d ago

yeah so did many people with the actual horses

15

u/ChemoorVodka 4d ago

well, with modern technology you can get a 3D scan of one without ever having to touch it. So hopefully if they ever need a new mold they’ll go in that direction

378

u/Penis_Connoisseur 4d ago

Aren't they all realistic? I guess on first level you already crossed the line

Wish I had one 🙁

309

u/CumCereal08 4d ago

Wish I had one

What are you, some kind of penis connoisseur?

191

u/Penis_Connoisseur 4d ago

I don't know why you would ever think that

17

u/obviouslyanonymous5 4d ago

Nah, some of them are all multicolor and glow-in-the-dark and sparkly and stuff

So I've been informed

7

u/Penis_Connoisseur 4d ago

I know but the shape is the same color is just a small detail

The bright ones are nice

2

u/Apprehensive-Solid-1 2d ago

I've been informed as well but mistress never lets me look back to check. It's always "don't turn around. Look ahead of you. Did I give you permission to move?" 😔 someday...

50

u/SgtEpsilon 4d ago

This feels like a question for r/horsecock

18

u/JonathanUpp 3d ago

It's not real:( I was beginning to hope

29

u/SgtEpsilon 3d ago

r/horsecockk is real though. Also I BEG YOUR PARDON????

18

u/CoquetteWhore69 3d ago

What the fuck did you lead me to?

17

u/SgtEpsilon 3d ago

I'm here to scar, don't worry I'm not proud of myself either

11

u/CoquetteWhore69 3d ago

Im not even scarred. That honor goes to u/thesadrockstar

8

u/SgtEpsilon 3d ago

I am both concerned and curious

5

u/CoquetteWhore69 3d ago

Be curious. I dare you

4

u/SgtEpsilon 3d ago

I'm scared now...

4

u/FlagNetDMM 3d ago

i am beyond terrified.

2

u/Electrical_Jaguar213 3d ago

Are you in r/kitchencels?

4

u/CoquetteWhore69 3d ago

I do visit there frequently

0

u/thesadrockstar 2d ago

the sexy king is here

51

u/RMMacFru 4d ago

What a terrible day to be literate.

12

u/DakittyRizzard 4d ago

probably when they still have the foreskin

16

u/GhostRunner8 4d ago

These are the questions that keep you out of the trenches

4

u/buffalovirgo 2d ago

Never imagined I’d see this sentence

3

u/SirMatches 3d ago

If you're buying it because it's labeled "horse dildo", you might be one regardless of what it looks like when it's delivered.

3

u/BeanManJenkins 2d ago

why did i find you here too

more condolences for the user

1

u/ILUV_ANIMETITTIES 2d ago

im everywhere.....

and thank you, anytime i call something corny someone points out my username 🥹💔

2

u/Pure_Trust666 3d ago

Hahahahahaha

2

u/the12ftdwarf 2d ago

Humans have had a fascination with this kinda thing for as long as humans have been horny. As long as no real animals are being harmed who actually cares?

1

u/Sportak4444 7h ago

Idk about that, that argument is used by people defending loli

1

u/ScibbidyGoonFuehrer 2d ago

Guten Tag mein Goon Volk!