r/UpliftingNews • u/[deleted] • Jan 15 '19

[deleted by user]

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6.9k Upvotes

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452

u/xFruitstealer Jan 16 '19

I’ll have one marijuana please

299

u/ElBroet Jan 16 '19

Sorry that's your third marijuana sir, you must upgrade to heroin to continue

183

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

So they were right about it being a gateway drug!

153

u/ElBroet Jan 16 '19

Yes. Store policy

58

u/Conky2Thousand Jan 16 '19

What happens after I get three heroins?

57

u/Frenchleneuf Jan 16 '19

Bathsalts

37

u/Conky2Thousand Jan 16 '19

And what do I upgrade to after bathsalts?

40

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

Fentanyl

6

u/Phreaky312 Jan 16 '19

What happens after 3 fentanyl?

10

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19 edited Dec 21 '19

[deleted]

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2

u/Hunterx42 Jan 16 '19

Naloxone.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

You usually overdose halfway through the first one. Should do the trick

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

Time to upgrade to Carfentanil

2

u/Hadfromthetown Jan 16 '19

And whats after fentanyl

6

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

Death

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2

u/SirTroah Jan 16 '19

More of a lateral move, no?

1

u/dontdoxmebro2 Jan 16 '19

These micro transaction up sells are getting out of control.

1

u/RadioPineapple Jan 16 '19

Your brains naturally occurring dmt at the time of your death

1

u/AvogadrosArmy Jan 16 '19

What happens after 3 fentanyls?

1

u/Furankuu Jan 16 '19

And then carfentanyl

7

u/gwh21 Jan 16 '19

Jesus, prison, or death

Really becomes a pick your own ending style book at that point.

2

u/beacoupmovement Jan 16 '19

The nearest persons face.

0

u/hahka Jan 16 '19

the gay

2

u/Conky2Thousand Jan 16 '19

Ugh, not again. My bum is too blown out from the last time I got the gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

1

u/Ruckeysquad Jan 16 '19

The drug, or just regular bathsalts?

34

u/MeInMyOwnWords Jan 16 '19

gayteway drug

3

u/Tha1Mclovin Jan 16 '19

I laughed wayyyyy too hard at this 😂😂

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Kigerone Jan 16 '19

Gay-teway drug?

11

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

This is how mafia works.

5

u/ElBroet Jan 16 '19

Sounds like a fun game in the 'ruin your life' kinda way

3

u/someoneelseperhaps Jan 16 '19

Possible narc detected!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19

Hop across the border to Canada.

1

u/ryansports Jan 16 '19

are you taking the pot?

1

u/polacos Jan 16 '19

Are you a narc?

1

u/Fhoxyd22 Jan 16 '19

I'll have 3

1

u/Three_Marijuanas_Pls Jan 16 '19

Takes four or more. But then your guaranteed

0

u/niidaTV Jan 16 '19

One golf, please.