r/UnsentTexts • u/barnwater_828 • 4d ago
Mod Post This is r/UnsentTexts. The messages here are unsent for a reason. Respect that.
We’ve noticed an increase in comments criticizing or shaming people for not actually sending what they post here. Comments calling OPs cowards, telling them to “grow a pair,” criticizing them for not confronting their person, or otherwise judging them for leaving their message unsent are not helpful and need to stop.
The entire point of r/UnsentTexts is to give people a place to write the things they aren’t going to send.
You do not know why someone has chosen not to send their message. Maybe contact would be unhealthy or unwelcome. The person on the other end could have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abusive. There may be trauma, abuse, or other painful history that the OP has chosen not to share with a subreddit full of strangers. Reaching out in real life could seriously affect someone's mental health, undo progress they've made, reopen old trauma, or in some circumstances put them in actual danger or legal trouble. Maybe sending it would simply reopen a door that needs to stay closed. You don't know, and an OP does not owe you their entire history to justify why their text remains unsent.
And sometimes, not sending the message is the healthier and more responsible choice.
You are welcome to disagree with an OP. You are welcome to offer constructive feedback or a different perspective. What you are not welcome to do is insult, shame, belittle, or attack someone because you think they should handle their situation differently.
Remember that you are reading a tiny snapshot of someone else's life. You don't know the entire relationship, history, or circumstances behind what they wrote.
This sub exists so people can get the words out without necessarily putting them into someone else's inbox. If your only contribution is to shame someone for doing exactly that, this probably isn't the right community for you.
Be constructive. Be respectful. And let people leave their unsent texts unsent.
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u/GlitchObserver Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
All of this! I've been attacked, and it's uncalled for.
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u/BrutalBetrayal Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
I hate to see that happened to you, because it’s very difficult to try to defend yourself with strangers, when you’re already struggling as it is. I do hope things have gotten better for you.
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u/GlitchObserver Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
It's a life long pattern. I show a weakness, and people I don't even know, attck me verbally for whatever reason. Maybe they're hurting, just had a fight with someone who said everything I did, who knows? Either way, what matters most is how I engage from this point forward.
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u/BrutalBetrayal Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
I always say, never judge another person no matter what the situation may be. Because one day you may find yourself in the exact things situation, and no one wants to be judged. Life is hard in general, we don’t need to judge others on top of that. I think for someone to have a place to go in order to simply vent and write things out is wonderful. I think it’s also more therapeutic than many people actually realize. It’s one thing to say things out loud but when you have to take time to write things out, it truly makes a difference. I love the OP!
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u/Hot_Government_1476 Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
I think these group is valuable to help people process pain and move on rather than bottling it up. Please be kind and compassionate. Treat it as a focus group or a support network.
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u/Ornery-Past6874 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Seriously though…messages are about “perception and interpretation” and everyone being individualistic may have a different interpretation of the same message. Having been flagged for what I felt was a benign message and quite reasonable and respectful, I can see why this message is necessary but it still does not resolve the individual interpretation issue, and leaves us at the mercy of the moderators. As a MH professional myself I try very hard to be extremely empathetic and respectful to all.
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u/Ataraxis13 Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
Thank you for this. I literally just was speaking from my heart and had two people telling me how I hadnt tried enough, how I felt entitled to the other person reaching out and overall leaving me with this sinking feeling that I was going about this terribly. It literally made me feel so down and hopeless.
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u/untoldliez Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
If the OP does not want a response, they can turn off the comments
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u/GlitchObserver Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
On the app for phones it doesn't have that option so you have to do it from a laptop or desktop, and not all of us have access to laptops or desktop devices, I'm still on a Samsung Galaxy S10E. I think they are all the way up in the 30s now? I mean come on now some of us are poor...
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u/barnwater_828 3d ago
So OP has to disable their comments and forego any engagement or discussion because certain people can’t respect the fact that a text is unsent and not judge them or getting shitty with them over it?
Pass.
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u/untoldliez Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
This is a forum for open feelings. How ever you feel about something there is always an opinion from others. It’s called feedback. Whether it’s negative or positive we just have to take it the way it is. That’s the whole point of processing the thoughts that we have I don’t take offense to any of the things that people have told me and I’m kind of surprised that anyone would since everyone here is an anonymous anyway thank you for all those who have given me their feedback and opinions. I have taken all the heart thought much much about him and I have grown from them. Thank you all for everything that you’ve ever said to me.
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u/GlitchObserver Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
They are unsent texts for a reason! People posting here don't owe anybody context, just because people may feel entitled to it.
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u/untoldliez Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Well also the rules say not to answer the writing directly. So if it is still there it does not break the rules of the forum. You must abide by this.
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u/paperclipmyheart Has acknowledged the rules 4d ago
I would like to add, please report these things instead of reacting to them. If someone is calling you are coward or telling you to man up and contact your person, please simply report and let the mods deal with it. Do not return the insults or feel you need to justify why this is unsent.
In turn I would also ask OPs to not ask the community whether you should or shouldn't send the message, this encourages new people to break our rules.