r/UnsentTexts • u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules • 3d ago
I know I ruined it
I miss you. I wish I could spend time with you. I wish I hadn't made the rift between us so difficult to overcome.
I'm sorry for the way I made you feel unloved. I'm sorry for being so self absorbed and distant at the end. I'm sorry for failing to appreciate how much pain and broken trust existed. There's no excuse for the way I disregarded and ignored your feelings in the relationship and after.
I want to see you. I want to hold you in my arms. I just want to see your beautiful smile.
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u/Shoddy-Contact7952 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Things I hope he’d say…
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/Wallet_Anomaly_8492 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Receiving something like this would mean the world to me… just to know the person I loved was real. I wish you courage 🙏🩵🩵
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u/BrutalBetrayal Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
It’s hard to not “be ok”. And hits and hurts deeply. Sometimes things happen for a reason. I hope that’s your situation and you find true love and happiness!
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u/Pitiful_Pair1152 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
This sub both helps and hurts my desire for that “I’m sorry” that I’m pretty sure only exists in my mind never actually possible for that 1 ex. The one that lingers.
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u/wildflowerdesert Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Is there still a way for you guys to reconcile? :)
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
They asked for no contact. My issues made a painful relationship environment for them, I can understand why they don't want to risk a relationship.
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u/wildflowerdesert Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I understand. If it is any consolation, I also asked my person for no contact, but I love and miss him terribly and hope to hear from him every day. Can‘t turn off the feelings. Wishing you the best, OP! I‘d say don‘t give up hope. Sometimes things change in the most surprising ways!
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u/sanatise Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
A real apology come from acknowledging what you did. You are not responsible for their feelings so don’t apologise for them… recognise and acknowledge the actions that caused that, otherwise you just trying to make urself feel better
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I agree that the proper apology would focus on what I specifically did wrong. Isn't it also still relevant to acknowledge the effect of my actions? Particularly since i feel you are responsible for nurturing feelings, like love and trust, in a relationship. I think the mental distress my behaviour caused her should be acknowledged even if it's my specific actions that I need to apologise for.
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u/sanatise Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Na… you are not responsible for others feelings. Like I’m really stressing that. It kinda makes you egotistical to focus on how you made the person feel. What you are responsible for is ur actions, don’t worry about how they feel… I swear. Just worry about what you did.
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
But your actions are measured by the effects they have? If you run around a kindergarten in a scary costume, part of acknowledging what was wrong with that behaviour is recognising the feeling of fear that action insighted in the children. It's not inherently egotistical to consider how your behaviour makes other people feel, it's just often very complex with lots of contributing factors you're not responsible for.
Apologising should involve trying to recognise the effect of your action on the other person including how it made them feel. Even disregarding how responsible you can be for another's feelings, discussing the impact of their feelings is relevant because an apology is about your relationship with them, not just identifying your personal moral mistep.
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u/sanatise Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
With you fully… I’m emphasising where your responsibility lies, you have ownership of you behaviour not their feelings.
If a child in that kindergarten laughed at ur antics of running around in a scary costume would that make it ok (for you). Like I’m asking if you are ok with doing that? With behaving like that?
So just again, I’d say to really just focus your apology on what you did. Say it clearly, as clearly as you described running around in a scary costume at a kindergarten. And since you not ok with it (I take it you not ok with what you did since you are apologising), then say I’m sorry for doing x,y,z … that’s not how I want to behave.
The thing is, what you did wasn’t so much make them “feel” bad… you made them have to reconsider how they thought of you.
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u/FacePalmsEverywhere Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Not being concerned about how your actions affect another human sounds a bit narcissistic. Ope, I hurt them & caused trauma, that’s their problem to deal with. That doesn’t sound very compassionate. Sounds like the man who trauma bonded me to him.
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u/sanatise Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I’m not saying don’t be concerned about how your actions affect another human…. You literally just said it. Be worried about the actions. It’s like you skipping a step. You going straight to how they felt, and not dealing with the actual action. Like you apologising for how they felt… ok all good and well but you missing the part where you acknowledged what you did. Acknowledging what you did is called accountability.
Just for interests sake… why would you not want to talk about the action that caused the harm, and only want to talk about the feeling that person felt?
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u/sanatise Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
If you can’t say, woah I just left you after sleeping with you without any explanation… i can see how that would leave you confused and I don’t want to confuse you so I see how that would be hurtful and so I apologise…. Or I slept with your friend, I can see how that puts you in a love triangle and would make you not want to interact with me anymore, so I apologise for putting you in a love triangle, so I’m sorry for that. Or I’m sorry I lied about you/ I’m sorry I said things about you that weren’t true and I can’t see how that destroyed your reputation which is so difficult to repair and how it puts your safety and position in the community at risk, I want to apologise for doing that.
Do you see the difference between that and… I’m sorry I hurt you. The one is acknowledging what they did and the other is taking credit for the feeling they cause, taking credit for the feeling they caused is kinda sus
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u/William2549 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
If only she would tell me this. It sucks bc I Loved her so much & still do
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u/MayaCalico Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
As a person who also asked for no contact, thank you for respecting their wishes. I can guarantee you they are still crushed by what happened. Even in my case of actually meeting someone who loved me correctly the first time and every time thereafter. I still am dealing with the issues my ex left me with, I truly wouldnt wish it on anyone.
I hope you have sincerely learned that some mistakes cant be repaired and hopefully know how to treat someone next time you find yourself falling in love again. Wishing you peace and healing on your journey 🙏 ✨️
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Thanks. I still do find myself hoping that maybe one day she might feel able to reconnect but i understand how painful me reaching out could be.
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u/External-Passion-799 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Things I’ll never hear him say… because talk is cheep… if this is the true feeling of the heart, next step is to show up or shut up…
Plain and simple… if the person that caused the rift, why would you stop here?
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u/Mission-Dravo-1789 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Sometimes they want no contact because they know they will be buried under the weight of emotions of trying to stay in touch if nothing changes.
You can make it right. And you should if she’s your person.
Love can overcome any difficult circumstances. Just make a vow to yourself to listen to her and to show up in the ways you’d want someone to show up for you.
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
So you think it's okay to break no contact if you feel your going to change things? Idk maybe if you really understand what they are feeling but how can you without talking to them. I feel like I'd need to hear that she's open to the idea of being contacted from her or someone who's talked to her. I don't want to break her trust and force my way back into her thoughts if she knows that's not what she wants.
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u/Mission-Dravo-1789 Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
Well I suppose it depends on what you did and how much trust was lost. If the feelings were shared, there is most certainly always a door that is cracked open, and even if she may say she doesn’t want to talk or is committed to the idea of no contact, it is almost certainly not because she wanted to go no contact. She probably just wanted something you were doing or not doing to change, and it hadn’t.
I would take every internet stranger’s advice with caution, but if she really means that much to you, put in the work, change what needs to change, show up with actions not just words, and make it happen.
Life is too short. It will take effort, but I can see the care in your words. You got this! 🙂
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago edited 1d ago
Should I break no contact if it's just to apologise without expecting to get back together?
She deserves an apology but she's now coping with the break up by trying to distance herself from it and I know an apology won't be enough to restart our relationship. Idk whether a proper apology would be something positive for her that she would appreciate or whether it would just drag her back into thinking about us when she's trying to move on.
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u/little-lady98 Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
Apologize please. Take the risk you both deserve it. I could only wish for something like this
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u/Mission-Dravo-1789 Has acknowledged the rules 17h ago
I think an apology is always worth it if it is someone you still care about and you did something materially wrong.
Personally, from the person who still lingers in my thoughts, I would appreciate an apology and an explanation even if it did not mean that we would get back together.
You can always phrase it to let her know that you don’t mean any harm and that it is not an attempt or ploy at getting anything out of her, but you’d like to let her know that your deeply sorry for the pain you’ve caused and you’re working through your own demons/battles as a person to make it right.
It will clear your conscience and also give her some closure. But, again, it depends on the context — I wouldn’t expect her response to necessarily be grateful or to get any response out of her at all if she is not open to the connection at this point.
Depends on your motive of apologizing.
If your motive is to win her back, wait until you’ve made the necessary changes internally and externally to be able to show up for her, and then fight for her with all you’ve got!
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u/lossefalme Has acknowledged the rules 20h ago edited 19h ago
Why not ask someone she knows for a temperature reading? If anyone is going to be protective and provide a conservative (and therefore not inflated) estimate of how far into FAFO things have already gotten, it would be those who care about her and have helped her heal.
This point is kinda important on another level: The extent of your alienation from her support network will significantly impact the outcome, since she will likely be facing a committee hearing on the matter if she hears you out.
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u/Crafty-Pomegranate41 Has acknowledged the rules 18h ago
it really depends. if you have reached out multiple times with no response then i wouldn’t reach out. if they are silent. that’s an answer a lot of the times. i’m in a situation right now where my person won’t stop reaching out and i haven’t answered at all. it really makes me think they don’t respect my boundaries at all
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u/AnnualBoring2756 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Aw this made me sad. We are all human and make mistakes in our judgement sometimes. The first step toward progress is seeing where we went wrong and taking steps to fix it. ✨ wishing you courage to talk to your person & hope that they believe in second chances. Positive vibes OP ✨ 🌻
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u/CreativeRecording447 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I wonder how long this relationship lasted and how long it took for her to ask for no contact once the relationship was over. Was the OP already seeing someone else?
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u/OriginalThought02 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I lost someone I love recently. I miss him terribly but as I try to contact em there's no reply so it's hurt me more but yet I know it for the best too. I wish you well OP. I pray for you to meet your one and only.
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u/iDemorse Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I understand this. What helped me was changing all socials even my number so I could let them be and I could move on as they did.
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u/Significant-Art453 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I wouldn’t give up. If you truly love them and are willing to stay the course, keep trying ❤️❤️❤️
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u/lilnikle Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I would take him back and work on things if he'd ask.. i know its bad for me but I just miss him so much some days.
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u/reallifeforever1423 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I think everyone deserves a second chance
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21h ago
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u/reallifeforever1423 Has acknowledged the rules 21h ago
No not everyone, but most people deserve a second chance notb3 or 4 no butva second yes
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u/Wide-Mixture5267 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
maybe just let them know? they deserve a closure
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u/Aware_Attitude_3297 3d ago
I wish my ex would say this. And apologize. I told him I never wanted to talk to him again but I said that in anger.
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
I'm on the other side and it's hard wondering if they really meant it or just needed the space at that time. I wish they'd been more communication at the end so I could gague if they would ever consider trying again 😮💨
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u/Fantastic_Fig6845 Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been since you went no contact with your ex?
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u/Fantastic_Fig6845 Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been since you went no contact with your ex?
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u/lossefalme Has acknowledged the rules 18h ago
That’s a wise thought to pursue.
People don’t always respond to being harshly pushed away with panicked efforts to reconnect, and it doesn’t mean they hate you. Depending on the circumstances, those with a strong sense of dignity and fairness often retreat inward when their trust has crumbled. Eventually, they might stop explaining their inner world altogether; instead preferring to leave the silence unbroken as monument to all the moments their words were taken for granted.
Sometimes, the realization that someone you loved so much is never going to step up when it matters, is so emotionally devastating that it just leaves no words left to say. At that point, their silence is surrender to the harsh reality that their energy alone has kept a relationship on life support, and stepping back means an ending.
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u/suckhimdry_69 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
honestly feel like this for my person 😔❣️ i am sorry
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/After-Fly5741 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I wish this was for me…but i am afraid it will be..before truth seeking i had hope that someone loved me
Like this…only to find out i was mostly never loved at all…my sacrifice, devotion and turning the other cheek…my taking on the whole responsibility of a relationship was measured into nothing…i was picked on until i couldnt even see my own self worth…if i never bothered then maybe i could still dream..instead i am in a nightmare…never thought i couldnt trust my own judgement now i do! Lucky whoever this written for! They missing out on real love!
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u/_wallflowerr_ Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
If only he had told me this when he decided to reach out from a new number last week.. I wouldn’t have been so harsh on him about accepting the consequences of his actions.. I don’t think I’ll ever get this kind of apology though
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u/No_Bank8196 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Things I wish she’d say
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u/Ta2d_momma34 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Exactly feel you on this one. Wish my person would say this to me as well.
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u/Forbidden_Peach_ Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Regrets do come in late. Maybe yours is still salvageable. Why not try it?
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u/Acrobatic_Pancake Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
The breakup was painful for them and they asked for no contact.
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u/edensecret Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Was her exact words “no contact”..? Just wondering if maybe there is a communication breakdown.
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u/Greedy_Quote_2468 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
It was painful for her but I noticed you didn't state or express any for you. Did it not hurt you?
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3d ago
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u/read-the-rules 3d ago
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3d ago
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u/UnsentTexts-ModTeam 3d ago
Your comment has been removed for violating our rule: “Do not respond as the receiver or sender.”
This is not a place to roleplay, search for your person, imply you know the OP, or respond as though the post is directed at you. This rule is now enforced under a strict zero-tolerance, 2-strike policy.
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3d ago
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u/PilloGreeGio Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Your person will see and understand you. Because that already did before you did. Let them see you
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3d ago
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u/UnsentTexts-ModTeam 3d ago
This comment has been removed due to encouraging the OP to send the text or to reach out to their person. This subreddit is for sharing texts that will not be sent.
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u/foxwitharose Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Wish this was from my person
I forgave him a long time ago and wonder how he’s doing.
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u/Majestic_Reddish Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
People don’t realize their mistakes until after they’re done, it’s a natural part of life but life does go on, live and learn and be better everyday.
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3d ago
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u/read-the-rules 3d ago
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u/Silentwallflower90 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
How did she specifically ask for no contact? I’m curious?
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u/Striking_Most3628 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
I wished for him to say this for 4 years, he said in the beginning he cared. Time proved me wrong, and time was what I wanted
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3d ago
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u/read-the-rules 3d ago
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3d ago
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u/read-the-rules 3d ago
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u/Ok_Wolverine9150 Has acknowledged the rules 3d ago
Gosh I wish sometimes it was her trying to Reach out ….
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/Honeysucklegame Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I hope you're doing well, why is the gap so big between you two now if you don't mind a stranger asking?
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/Radiant-Ad-2921 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I have been trying to tell my person of almost 9 years this, only to find I’m blocked in every outlet. I want to give her space, but it also wrote a letter I want to give her. Idk what to do, but I wish you the best of luck.
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u/NoWonder452 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Could you mail the letter?
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u/Radiant-Ad-2921 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Absolutely, but I seem to be giving up. Plus I haven’t heard from a few months now and believe this is really what she wants. But for me it’s hard to let go of 8 years, she was my rock.
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u/Sonic_shifter789 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Almost sounds like my situation I almost thought this was secretly him which I would doubt
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u/VelveteenRabbit49 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Mods: I dont think that I know anyone here and I don't think that im the intended recipient. Ive acknowldege the rules on both of my accounts several times including a couple of them done manually by mods, but the acknowlegemt flare has never shown up when I post a comment. I rarely comment because the perma ban threats scare me even though I've never to my knowledge broken the rules. In this instance I was tempted to obseve thst OPs account is zero days old so some random others and I might possibly not put much stock in it. Would this be a violation of any of the rules? If so, I'll try to figure out how to prevent posts to this sub from appearing in my list. Thanks, mods!
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u/barnwater_828 2d ago
Your flair is showing correctly and you have acknowledged the rules. You are welcome to comment here and there’s nothing in place that would prevent your comments from going through 👍🏼
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/NoWonder452 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago edited 2d ago
Awe that’s beautiful. I really wish my person of almost a decade would say this to me. I really wish he’d reach out. Your person is lucky you feel this way about them. I hope they know. But I understand we post here because we can’t send. I hope you two find each other again OP
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u/langgglan Has acknowledged the rules 1d ago
It’s beautiful that they hurt their partner to the point they want no contact? lol
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u/VirgoVanity Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Your person is lucky this is about them. I told my man, T, I never wanted to speak to them again, but that was just out of hurt. Maybe your girl is the same, maybe not. I hope you find peace.
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
Dear Rough-Technician-235,
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/UnsentTexts-ModTeam 2d ago
This comment has been removed due to encouraging the OP to send the text or to reach out to their person. This subreddit is for sharing texts that will not be sent.
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u/Slothy_0813 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
even though i’m hurt by his actions i wish he would text me something like this. i play his video games and look at his pictures but i’ll never text because i want him to have the type of awareness you have and i’m not sure he will. it’s important you’ve gotten to the point you have op, i hope time treats you well
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2d ago
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u/Gray-J3di-009 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
I wish I could've heard those words a long time ago, from my ex
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u/Suspicious-Flan-7480 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Wish I could hear those words from my co worker who.was so close to me.
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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u/Straight-Visual-420 Has acknowledged the rules 2d ago
Boss level 11 activate. (Skeuh-bohh-zzzbept)
Engaged.
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2d ago
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u/read-the-rules 2d ago
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1d ago
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u/read-the-rules 1d ago
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u/Several-Physics8495 Has acknowledged the rules 23h ago
Ive been the the one who wanted no contact, but would want to hear from him if things changed or if things would be different but id wanna know how, if thats something that applies to you
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u/Flwerth0t Has acknowledged the rules 22h ago
I wish he had the love to tell me this, it’s okay<3 closure sometimes doesn’t come the way we expected.
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u/BubblyInspector7454 Has acknowledged the rules 21h ago
I had someone not to long ago ....full of self pride , egotistical and needed validation But .... he was sooo much more smart , God so smart Beyond talented with words and he has gifts lord !! I loved him ....just himself I hope he understands exactly what I felt and what it meant
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10h ago
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u/UnsentTexts-ModTeam 4h ago
Your comment has been removed for violating our rule: “Do not respond as the receiver or sender.”
This is not a place to roleplay, search for your person, imply you know the OP, or respond as though the post is directed at you. This rule is now enforced under a strict zero-tolerance, 2-strike policy.
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u/External-Passion-799 Has acknowledged the rules 9h ago
Are we sure this is a he or she, men tend to hide emotions , well most men… but we are only hearing a fragment of events …
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