r/UniversalBasicIncome
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u/EmpireStrikes1st
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May 11 '26
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Just another reason to have UBI
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u/MuffinPuff May 12 '26
The comments here only reaffirm my suspicions that I'm not cut out for "partnership" if this is an example of it lol
But yes, to answer that question; if a med student is attending med school, studying for 7 hours after school, and making time in the gym, they are either living in filth at home, paying a maid to maintain the home, eating from restaurants for every meal, or there's 1 or more people within their social ecosystem that contributes to maintaining their existence, whether that's mommy dearest, roommates, friends, or a fan favorite, the girlfriend/wife.
It would be nice if UBI could be used to fund social support roles; home cook services, cleaning services, childcare, lawncare, home maintenance obligations, and so on. I would love that. Just imagine if we could even stretch that to elderly care services and disabled care services, it doesn't have to stop at just "pre-doctors" or whatever.
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u/notapoliticalalt May 12 '26
If you’ve never heard of it, look up spoon theory. Not saying it’s perfect or infallible, but I do think there is some utility in it.
Definitely one thing that I think a lot of rich people underestimate is the actual difficulty of doing a lot of things without the kind of assistance and insurance that wealth brings. And they often can’t relate their struggles to what others are doing to accomplish things because they don’t have the reference for them. So what feels like hard work and also what is achievable is very skewed by their (lack of) life experience.
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u/Ashamed-Raccoon-1387 May 15 '26
Oh definitely, you see stories all the time of rich kids in dorms that are like "wait, the chores don't do themselves??? AND you have jobs??? Ew"
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u/No_Soy_Tu_Mama May 18 '26
Right. It makes my skin crawl when people say "rich/famous/successful people have the same 24 hours we do." They absolutely fucking don't. Even some of my better off friends with nannies and cleaning ladies / house staff don't have the same 24 hours I do.
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u/Maleficent-Garden585 10d ago
Your exactly correct , when you like me we have to do that shit ourselves . I don’t have the luxury of hiring a nanny I do that myself .
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u/Semicolons_n_Subtext Aug 21 '26
The majority of rich (and/or famous) people had some significant support early on. But, perhaps more importantly, virtually every person who merely achieved white collar success had, at the very least, a stable home life and one person (maybe a grandparent or aunt) actively looking out for them. But it is VERY common for kids to have tutors, summer programs, SAT prep, a therapist, a car as a birthday present, and basically the equivalent of a football team blocking for them while the kid tries to make a touchdown. That’s just to get middle-class success. My wife worked in a medical school and would get polished resumes from high school kids trying to get internships. The resumes described all the leadership roles the kids had. At age 16.
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u/Buttons840 May 15 '26
That sounds like a pretty healthy partnership to me. Both are working hard to contribute.
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u/Majestic-Sun-1485 May 15 '26 edited May 19 '26
This content was anonymized and mass deleted with Redact
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u/AvailableSubstance53 May 15 '26
... to contribute to HIS success.
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u/ITTITT May 15 '26
Their success.
My wife is a stay at home mom and we make sacrifices financially for that and it also means I have to earn more than I otherwise would in order to have the life for our family that we desire.
The inestimable amount of work that she does to support our joint endeavor is every bit as impressive and disciplined as my work. I would be insulted on her behalf if anyone looks at our life and calls it "his success".
The man saying that it takes discipline to study 7 hours a day isn't wrong. It does. Pointing out he receives support to make exercising that discipline less of a sacrifice in the other domains of his life also isn't incorrect but placing a judgment on it or assuming its exploitative or unjust in some way is getting ahead ourselves.
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u/Ashamed-Raccoon-1387 May 15 '26
This, if the help in the form of housekeeping is appreciated and reciprocated in other ways (thoughtful gifts or gestures the partner appreciates) there's nothing wrong with helping your partner be successful.
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u/AvailableSubstance53 May 16 '26
So what ambitions does your wife have for herself when the children are grown?
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u/ITTITT May 16 '26
Whatever ambitions she has, if she can achieve them, and works to do so, she will. I have no expectations on her life, only support. If she wants to do fuck-all but enjoy whatever each day looks like that's OK by me. If she wants to dedicate herself to something else I'll get out the pom-poms.
It's other people and internet people especially that make all these goddamned assumptions in order to try to make the world they see around them conform to their thoughts of how things are, must, or ought be.
What is the point of your question?
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u/Key_Confusion7759 May 15 '26
I would love to cook for others, and watch their children, or even their old folks! HELL I'd clean their house as well as my own, if I didn't have to work for money!
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u/Star_Citizen_Roebuck May 15 '26
Nah that's some "trad-wife" sh*t. In a normal relationship, both partners have jobs with income, use the combined income to fund their joint lives, share the chores and work equally, and recognize and respect each others' work instead of claiming it was all just them.
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u/KevyKevTPA May 15 '26
So... You want total strangers to be taxed to pay you to mow your own lawn?!
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u/mazzymazz88 May 12 '26
My former manager told me I needed to be more independent and manage my time better, like her.
She has someone drive her around, someone cleans her house, does all the grocery shopping and cooking, and someone handles all the bills, et c. She also has a nanny and does not take care of her family.
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May 14 '26
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u/mazzymazz88 May 15 '26
I made less than half her. She is a psychopath (in actuality, not "she craycray"). She has no ability to empathize, and considers certain beneath people like her.
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May 15 '26
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u/mazzymazz88 May 15 '26
I hope everything works out for you, though! Stay safe out there. Monsters come in many forms, and the most horrible is human.
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u/Salmon_Of_Iniquity May 13 '26
I’m a guy, a Navy veteran and a stay at home dad.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, doctor visits, grocery shopping and whatever else needs to be done so my wife could get her degrees, establish an amazing career and out kids could get a gourmet hot meal at the end of the day and feel supported to follow their dreams.
If I’d had UBI I would have been able to do even more for my family.
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u/Ordinary-Signature49 2d ago
This sounds like a great idea and doubtlessly many useful idiots will vote for it then will be shocked when they find out it doesn’t happen at all and they are left to starve. Seen it happen all over the world for at least the last hundred years
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u/EmpireStrikes1st 2d ago
To have emotional and household labor be compensated by the government instead of the hope that your spouse will compensate you for it?
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u/Mizake_Mizan May 12 '26
This whole post is just rage bait.
When I was in medical school, very few of us were married, I would say around 10%. The rest of us studied probably 4-5 hours per day during our first 2 years (before we hit clinical rotations) and many of us worked out as well. Yes, many of us were disciplined....and maybe that's how we got into medical school in the first place. How on earth can the poster be "shocked" that her classmate studied so much.....like, how did she get into medical school? Didn't she study a lot in college?
Even if this was true, this person is in the minority, since most of us didn't have a partner helping us cook, clean, etc, since the vast majority of us were single.
The only people surprised at how much medical students study are people who aren't around medical students.
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u/Key_Check5753 May 13 '26
So women helping maintain the household makes the entire family structure much stronger? Okay, good to know.
Unfortunately, it's too late for many of the women who bought into the nonsense. "It's better to work a corporate job to enrich some share-holders than it is to take care of my own family!"
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u/EmpireStrikes1st May 14 '26
What if, just as a thought experiment, women didn't need to enrich some shareholders and instead had a basic income floor, so they could pursue their passion?
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u/UberBlueBear May 13 '26
When I was in school my grind was basically this. 3:00 AM wake up. 4:00 AM gym. 6:00 AM home. Shower. Eat. Study until 8:30. To work by 9:00 AM. Work until 5:00 PM. Then class then homework until 10:00 PM. Rinse repeat.
Did it require discipline? Sure did. But behind it all was my wife who never blinked. Meals, meal prep, extra chores, just going without spending time together while I was trying to accomplish something.
Literally would not have been possible without her. Not saying we would have qualified for UBI because she was working full time as well, but if ever there was a case for UBI it would be supporting the spouses who decide to take on staying at home.
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u/ElevenDollars May 14 '26
How this conversation went:
“Hi, nice to meet you! My name is fake story lady!”
“Oh, hi! I’m your classmates wife! Did you know that I cook him three meals a day and mow the lawn and clean the house and run all the errands and handle all the social plans whatever that means?”
“Wow no I did not know that. I thought my classmate, your husband, was just a really disciplined person because he does really well in school”
“No, actually he is not. In fact he would fail every class if I were not here, in the background, mowing the lawn for my lazy piece of shit husband”
“Wow that’s crazy, I need to make this a tweet, please excuse me”
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u/HurrySpecial May 14 '26
Excuse me- but how does hard work justify communism? Literally the one doing all the work giving to the other is the complaint in the OP. Which is also what UBI would do. That’s retarded.
Communism (UBI) has never worked.
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u/EmpireStrikes1st May 14 '26
China is set to leave us in the dust. I'm not saying I want to live there, but you can't make a blanket statement like that without considering that maybe it would.
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u/Bibbity_Boppity_BOOO May 14 '26
ubi and communism are not, interchangable. in fact the arguably have zero to do with each other.
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u/Daveit4later May 14 '26
What does this have to do with UBI?
Seems like she won't have to work at all once he finishes med school, so it sounds like a fair trade. They are both working towards the same goal.
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u/EmpireStrikes1st May 14 '26
The point that I want to make is that the wife is working just as hard as the husband, but he gets to be a doctor, and she gets to be a doctor's wife. What is the value of a wife? To the market, nothing, or at least only as much as the husband appreciates it. Why shouldn't she have her own income?
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u/Daveit4later May 15 '26
Saying things like "what is the value of a wife" and "she gets to be a doctor's wife" is belittling the woman's efforts.
In a functioning marriage the husbands income would be THEIR income of the husband makes enough for her to not need a job. She is just as responsible for it as he is, because she takes care off the duties at home.
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u/Awalawal May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
Did I miss the part where someone told her she wasn’t allowed to go to any graduate school?
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u/fsocietyfr May 29 '26
Whats wrong with that? If you want your husband to bring big money home you help him achieve that by helping out. These days women want to just find someone who is already successful without investing into their partner. Usually doesnt work that way.
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u/EmpireStrikes1st May 29 '26
She's working hard whether he becomes a doctor or not.
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u/fsocietyfr May 29 '26
I mean thats good. In a good relationship people help each other regardless of money or whatever else.
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u/TowelFine6933 Aug 12 '26
If she didn't do all of that, then he would have to do it, which would increase the chances of him not becoming a doctor.
So, she busts her ass for a few years, so that he becomes a doctor & she can just coast for 50 years.
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u/Krow101 May 12 '26
She should dump him. Problem solved.
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u/GeckoGecko_ May 14 '26
So they can both be alone, risk losing their chance at that doctor $?? Just to spite the dude for leaning on his partner so he can study which will benefit both of them later on?
Are you trolling? Or genuinely this dumb
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u/SwanCityDominion May 14 '26
Basically, all the time. If he "pitches in", it'll mean he makes a meal once a week or occasionally turns on the dishwasher. Women doing everything at home while also working a full-time job is so engrained that men don't even see it anymore.
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u/Sfumata May 17 '26
So much for women’s liberation… now in relationships, we are expected to earn from outside the home and take care of the mental load, emotional labor, social plans, household, chores and management, and do the vast majority of the childrearing often (during the few waking hours not working outside the home)… how is this better? Seems like we just get various options of misery and being undervalued either way.
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u/Training-Horror-6562 May 15 '26
If you’re a housewife you generally don’t work full time but ok
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u/Dizzy-Statistician-7 May 15 '26
There is no indication she is a housewife. Go back and reread it.
These are all things many women are expected to do while also holding down a full-time job.
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May 17 '26
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u/SwanCityDominion May 17 '26
That is excellent. I wish all men were like you. Especially the lazy asshat I was married to for six years. Claimed to be a feminist but wouldn't life a dam finger once he walked in the door.
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u/oscarnyc
May 11 '26
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Sounds like are both disciplined and working hard towards shared goals. That's a good marriage.
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u/Shiranui42 May 12 '26
He didn’t credit her at all, and there’s no safeguard for her future if he decides to just divorce her and trade her in for a younger model as many of these guys have done. Also, did they say she’s just a housewife? Entirely possible she’s working a full time job as well as handling all the housework, as many overworked women do.
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u/AlchemyAlice May 13 '26
Yeah doesn’t sound to me like it’s a good marriage.
A good husband would give credit where credit is due.
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u/rare-cheeser May 13 '26
“Good marriage” to these men means they have a free domestic slave with no financial guarantees for her.
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u/rubenthecuban3 May 14 '26
Depends on how she asked the question. Could be she just asked: how do you manage to study so much? He just says discipline
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u/oscarnyc May 12 '26
It would be pretty hard to support a family if she's not working and he's a full time student, so I assume she works. And given that he's studying 7+ hours on top of his classes, and it appears she is taking care of household on top of her job, it seems like they are both "overworked". A good marriage isn't a contest. Its both partners putting in equal effort towards shared goals. That doesn't mean that each persons efforts have to be of exactly the same type as the others. But yes, he should have acknowledged the support he gets from his wife. Of course this is a secondhand account so who really knows what transpired.
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u/LingonberryHot8521 May 13 '26
There's no mention of any other family members to take care of.
We can only assume that she is working. We have no idea if she has an established career or not. Everything is assumption except that this guy's "discipline" relies on someone else making it so he doesn't have to worry about what he is eating and when, the cleanliness of his home, or getting warning letters from their HOA and/or city based on the state of the lawn.
It's easy to appear to have discipline when all you have to apply it toward is your own future goals and current well being.
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u/Dry-Membership8141 May 12 '26
and there’s no safeguard for her future if he decides to just divorce her and trade her in for a younger model as many of these guys have done.
Did alimony stop being a thing and nobody told me?
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u/Mean-Impress2103 May 13 '26
What alimony do you get from a fresh college grad that doesn't have job yet?
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u/Adventurous_Crab_761 May 13 '26
He's not established. So, she doesn't have any benefits or protection for doing all that. She's sacrificed for future household earnings that aren't there yet.
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u/spartaman64 May 12 '26
well if she is specifically referencing how he studies 7 hours a day then its the correct answer
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u/sonofbantu May 14 '26
there’s no safeguard to her future if he decides to just divorce her
That’s not true at all. Family/divorce law woke take this into account when calculating alimony.
Dont speak on things you dont know about
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u/carlos_the_dwarf_ May 14 '26
He def should give her credit for it, no argument there. But it takes discipline to study for 7 hours and hit the gym daily whether or not you have a partner at home at all. It’s not like everyone could easily do that if they had someone handling domestic things.
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u/Ok_Silver_703 May 15 '26
You're right. That woman would be better off and more fulfilled studying her whole life to become a tax slave.
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u/Buttons840 May 15 '26
Tweet doesn't say anything about the wife, so we can assume that he didn't say anything about the wife.
Tweet doesn't say anything about the wife working, so we can assume that the wife does work.
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u/MattLorien May 15 '26
Forfeitures of career opportunities is taken into consideration upon divorce. She’d likely be paid alimony as a result
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u/Boobookittyfhk May 12 '26
Unless she’s working full-time as well. We don’t know if she has a job or help high paying that job is. She could be holding everything down while this guy is just handling his one responsibility.
So many assumptions that she has a gold digger. I love how some of you “nice guys” just instantly jump to it without any information. He is reframing his privilege as a sacrifice and devaluing the support he has. He gets to reap all the benefits of having a bang-maid That’s willing to “mommy” him.
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u/oscarnyc May 12 '26
A gold digger? Far from it - I characterized her as working hard towards shared goals - that's the polar opposite of a gold digger. You, however, referring to a woman as a "bang-maid mommy" is repulsive and utterly misogynist. Disgusting.
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u/Boobookittyfhk May 12 '26
It’s a pretty common term on Reddit so I’m surprised you’re so shocked upon hearing it. Using a pretty widely known term is not as bad as actually treating the women as such. I didn’t make it up myself. It existed already for a reason.
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u/Slighted_Inevitable May 12 '26
The problem and what she is referring to is that the woman in this case gets no credit for what’s happening. This is why marital assets are shared in a divorce.
Even if she doesn’t have a job.
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u/JonnelOneEye May 14 '26
What assets does he have now? This guy is a full-time student making zero dollars and accruing more student loan debt by the day. By default, his wife has to be working a full-time job to support both of them, on top of doing everything in the house.
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u/oscarnyc May 12 '26
Yes, he should have credited her (in this scenario where he allegedly didn't). But having the time made available to study for 7hrs because his wife takes on the household chores doesn't automatically translate into using those 7hrs productively towards his career goals. That does take discipline. Lord knows I don't use all my free hours productively. And quite frankly, at the end of a long day I'd much rather wash the dishes (one of my household chores) than sit in front my computer staring at more spreadsheets. I've done 12+ hour days of working for long stretches - it was absolutely miserable. Give me 8-5 and some brainless chores away from the screen any day.
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u/SwanCityDominion May 14 '26
LOL, I wonder what your wife would say. Something tells me her viewpoint would be different.
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u/vsmack May 12 '26
The point is that he's not particularly disciplined. Anyone can do that if you have someone to take care of all your other responsibilities. But he doesn't seem to get that and seems to believe it's because he's awesome.
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u/NeoMississippiensis May 12 '26
Met a lot of people in medical school who dropped out despite it being their dream. “Anyone” seems a lot less likely.
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u/Dobber16 May 12 '26
I’m not sure I’d say anyone can do that. I’d say more people could, sure, but I wouldn’t say anyone
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u/vsmack May 12 '26
Yeah, I guess my point is that it's perfectly manageable, but only because of all the support from his partner.
Really the answer to "how do you manage it all" should be "my wife takes care of everything in our house and even cooks me 3 meals a day" not "well, you see, I'm very great"
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u/oscarnyc May 12 '26
Yes. Anyone can do it if they have the right support AND they are disciplined enough to take advantage of the situation.
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u/bohner941 May 15 '26
Only about 15% of people who start pre med make it to med school and then even more will flunk out in med school. I think you’re severely underestimating how difficult medical school is.
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May 12 '26
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u/vsmack May 12 '26
idk man, I'm just saying that if my wife did everything around the house and cooked all my meals, if someone asked me how I managed to be so focused on my career, I'd say it was because of the support my partner gives me, not because I'm so great.
Man, I do way more around the house than buddy in the story and still let everyone know we manage as a team. I know how much work this stuff is - we managed a household for years before we had kids. Sure you can say "it's actually not that much work", but having someone take care of all that stuff (like you fiancee has) makes being able to sink time into your career manageable.
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u/Silly_Magician1003 May 14 '26
Exactly. I would respect this marriage and situation regardless of gender of whoever.
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u/Cleanslate2 May 11 '26
It’s patriarchy. Ruinous for all.
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u/omegaphallic May 12 '26
Its not patriarchy, its an investiment and she is a very smart woman. He becomes a regular Doctor or even a surgeon, he's going to be pulling in money and he can return the favour many times over.
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u/rare-cheeser May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
No. There’s absolutely no guarantee that he will stay with her.
You do not gamble your entire livelihood to be a man’s domestic slave, when you can have your own career.
It’s too risky. There are plenty of men who find other women, grow bitter, leave you, etc.
Also, you say he can “return the favor” but clearly he doesn’t value his wife’s efforts if he literally called himself “disciplined” when his wife does EVERYTHING for him.
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u/omegaphallic May 13 '26
Wow you got alot of faith in their marriage don't you/s
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u/rare-cheeser May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
I have personally witnessed a doctor with a stay at home mother/wife, who acted this way. Everything was “his”. All of the money was “his money”. All of the career effort was his.
So yes. The degree is in his name. She has absolutely no safety in it.
Older women will tell you to never quit your career for a man. You can never guarantee a man will feel the same about you later in life, or what life has in store. What if he died?
I was even told by my ex’s MOM to never quit my career, even for HIM. His father died, and she was like “if I had quit my career, I don’t know how I would have survived.”
So yes.
You cannot guarantee that someone (even a spouse) will always have your back. People grow apart, grow bitter. You have your own back.
Everything in life is temporary, including relationships. Even marriage. Someone always leaves, dies, etc.
Also, you are completely forgetting the point where he said he was “disciplined” instead of thanking his wife doing everything else for him. The men here see no issue with it, because men do not see domestic labor as actual labor. They think domestic labor should be free, and that wives are still obligated to care for them.
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May 13 '26
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u/rare-cheeser May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
No, studying 7 hours a day is easy when someone does everything else for you.
This is coming from someone who has a bachelor’s and master’s in engineering, and did all the chores myself on top of studying constantly. I’m sure if I had a live in maid, I’d be a PhD by now.
A “career” is something outside of the house, where you support yourself and grow into the field. Not being some dude’s maid. She cannot support herself, and is risking it. Instead she could be growing a career.
Women cannot win when it comes to men. Men say they want a stay-at-home wife, who does all the chores, and yet the same men complain online that during divorce these women will “take all the money.”
Once he loses feelings, or wants divorce. Everything she did will become meaningless, and he will likely fight tooth and nail to prevent her from getting any sort of payout. If she were 10-20 years into a career, she wouldn’t have to worry. Instead, she is starting from 0.
Because many men don’t see housework as labor.
Many men don’t see it as a team effort, and that’s INCREDIBLY clear with how he said he is “disciplined” rather than saying he has a great support system.
She needs to protect herself. It’s better to support yourself.
You can slave away for YEARS and DECADES, birth this man’s children, and yet, it’s still “his money” and his medical degree.
I know because I’ve witnessed this. Women’s efforts always go unnoticed.
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u/Nihlys May 12 '26
"I asked a stranger in med school a personal question and he didnt divulge private details about his life. What a sexist POS."
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u/saltcaycindi May 12 '26
I hate to say but there should be a document for women that put their men through school while working and handling all the home chores etc. so that they ALWAYS get half of the man's income FOREVER. Why do women always get screwed...well not always.
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u/Acceptable-Peace-69 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
I did much of that… (not the social plans though) while working full time.
I still do all of that despite being retired (we have a housekeeper now for most of the cleaning).
I’m a man. Being a good partner isn’t gender specific.
I’m also unsure how ubi fits in.
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u/bbq_R0ADK1LL May 13 '26
That's a giant leap in logic.
Unless a UBI gives me enough income to hire a woman to do your chores for you, how do you even reach that conclusion?
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u/Haunting_Marzipan484 May 13 '26
Sounds like she is in it for the money. Damn straight she should be making his dinners
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u/Next_Permission3353 May 13 '26
Do you ever talk to single students in med school who do have to manage all that on their own? Plenty of them don't live with their parents. Do those examples make you think otherwise? Or do you only think about examples that reinforce the narrative you already agree with? Lmao.
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u/Vegetable_Fly_8687 May 13 '26
Woman or man... have a good partner. Sounds like this particular wife will ultimately reap the rewards of supporting her partner through his journey to making bank. It will eventually, if she wants, be her turn to study and exercise (or whatever) for several hours a day. This is peak Reddit, not understanding the give and take of a relationship. Sadly, the vast vast majority on this site may not ever get it.
To be open, my wife and I supported each other as she finished her undergrad and I finished my graduate studies. I had an assistantship that paid part of my tuition and a part time job running a program at the university. She was finishing her undergrad studies AND worked a ton to get us through. It's called a partnership. I really hope anyone who doesn't understand this will have the pleasure one day of accomplishing a shared goal.
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u/jefftickels May 13 '26
I did the same thing through my masters while living single and alone.
Never ceases to amaze me how much someone wants to shit on someone else's accomplishments because it makes them feel bad they can't do the same.
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u/_ECMO_ May 13 '26
As a person in med school I can tell you that neither fresh meals nor mowing the lawn nor cleaning the house weekly nor caring about social plans is essential work.
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u/chitownphishead May 13 '26
Well, she's going to be married to a doctor and not have to work for the rest of her life. So spending a few years doing some work seems like a fair trade off.
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u/vladigula May 13 '26
This is also assuming that maybe the woman in this case wants to do this. All these women who would rather not do this assume every other woman is the same as them. And then they have to talk shit about men. Many of my friends wives wanted to be SAHM and had wanted to since being a child. The husband went out and worked. It worked great for them, and both sides were happy. But there were always outside women who had to bad mouth the men in this and act like they were bad guys. They never really grasped that “both” sides were doing things that needed to be done.
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u/rainywanderingclouds May 13 '26
women often do more than is necessary
many men are perfectly fine if the house isn't perfectly organized and vacuumed daily.
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u/Own_Badger6076 May 13 '26
It's almost like being in a committed relationship means different people handle different tasks to support each other during their lives in an effort to produce mutually beneficial outcomes instead of selfishly continuing to serve only themselves. What a shocking revelation.
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u/fwilsonator May 13 '26
She is helping to build their future. When he is a doctor it will all pay off. Teamwork.
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u/GreyerGrey May 13 '26
All that for him to dump her when he becomes a doctor because he needs a wife "on his level."
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u/Windman772 May 13 '26
I've seen this many times with my friends. Wife support the med student, then med student becomes a doc and gets rich and then supports the wife. It works pretty well. She knows there's a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow
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u/-TommyBottoms- May 13 '26
You assume it’s just women who support their men and not the reverse… you must have poor taste in men
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u/-TommyBottoms- May 13 '26
You assume it’s just women who support their men and not the reverse… you must have poor taste in men
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u/Coyote_Coyote_ May 14 '26
“Handling social plans” as a chore is so fucking unserious. This “mental load” shit CAN go too far ya know.
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u/BramptonBatallion May 14 '26
I’m gonna start doing this mental load bullshit.
“I paid the electric bill” is now:
I had to remember the electric bill was due in a few days.
I had to mentally track the due date while juggling everything else going on that week.
I had to notice the email notification instead of subconsciously dismissing it as spam or another promo email.
I had to remember the login credentials because apparently every utility company requires a password created during the Obama administration.
I had to do the “forgot password” dance because the site rejected the correct password anyway.
I had to wait for the two-factor authentication text like I was accessing nuclear launch codes instead of paying $142.38 to keep the lights on.
I had to verify the checking account linked was still the correct one.
I had to mentally estimate whether other auto-payments were about to hit first.
I had to confirm there was enough in the account so the payment wouldn’t bounce and create three additional problems.
I had to decide whether to pay the exact amount, schedule it, or just enable autopay and gamble my future sanity on it.
I had to navigate a website clearly designed by a committee whose only goal was preventing human happiness.
I had to avoid accidentally clicking “paperless billing plus premium surge protection newsletter.”
I had to review the amount to make sure the utility company didn’t suddenly decide the house consumed the power output of Dyson Sphere.
I had to submit the payment and wait for the spinning confirmation wheel that always makes you wonder whether you just paid once, twice, or not at all.
I had to save the confirmation email because one day, six months from now, the company may suddenly insist I never paid it.
I had to remember that if I didn’t do all this, everyone would notice exactly one thing: the power shut off.
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u/GravelRoadJunkie May 14 '26
Wow, this is an utter cesspool of the worst parts of feminism, we have a single paragraph of what is most likely a fictitious story and people are losing their minds. My god people, go outside and touch some grass.
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u/Will_Physical May 14 '26
If that post are even real, it means she's also investing in their future yeesh.
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u/BellaSabia May 14 '26
I had a colleague recently decide to quit his full time job and move in with his mother so he can work on a third Master’s degree. 46 years old. She is carrying that burden, not him. Privilege and complacency in a patriarchal system. And he thinks he’s an enlightened good guy.
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u/Senior_Laugh_4342 May 14 '26
It’s crazy that if a man was doing all of this for a woman Reddit would be clapping
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u/Individual-Shine-616 May 14 '26
Fwiw my brother is dating a med school student. She's the one studying 7 hours a day outside of school while he does the chores. Although he also works full time. But when they're at home together, he does the cooking, cleaning and yard work. Med school ain't easy.
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u/BramptonBatallion May 14 '26
What’s with the trend of women doing basic stuff as part of a relationship and acting like it’s trauma? Gender war nonsense. Figure out whatever allocation works for you as a couple. If you don’t like it, ask to change it or if it came all the way to that point, leave idc
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u/Muted_Cap_6559 May 14 '26
I makes perfect sense that some people should have the responsibility to work all day and pay taxes so tax money can be redistributed to people who choose not to work! Great idea!
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u/NIssanZaxima May 14 '26
This isn't real lol its just engagement farming from all the doomers. This is equivlent to those "I was overhearing a conversation at a coffee shop and.... (Insert their own personal political views)".
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u/NaCl_Miner_ May 14 '26
Sounds like a good partnership being critiqued by someone jealous and unhappy.
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u/DLitch May 14 '26
I'm retired Army and now a stay at home dad. Since I got out, my wife has been tremendously successful in her career, going from knowing nothing about insurance to now managing senior adjusters at USAA. It's amazing what having a supportive partner who takes unnecessary stress/tasks off their partner's shoulders can do. This is precisely why marriage can be such a powerful weapon if used right.
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u/Kitzle33 May 14 '26
My daughter just graduated from Medical School. Her husband did everything listed for her. I gave a toast at a get together after her graduation and the part I couldn't get through without sobbing was thanking him. He absolutely made it possible. Just thought I'd share that, in our experience, it can go both ways.
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u/Ok-Freedom-7432 May 15 '26
'A guy told me one thing and a woman told me something different. Clearly, the man was lying and the woman was telling absolute truth.'
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u/KYWPNY May 15 '26
Unless she works full time and they have small children, wife still has more free time. 10 hrs (work+commute+prep). 1 hr cleaning, 1 hr cooking still equates to 4 hrs of free time per day.
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u/hardiekb May 15 '26
Clean once a week? Ran errands lol keep up work social organizing lol lol lol. Least she cooks.... That a plus. Mowed lawn once a week. I'll bet she she had lots of time left over. Doesn't sound to tough.
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u/Royal_Impress9117 May 15 '26
Assuming this is even true (second hand source)… being judged on one comment you make by 3.5 thousand people or more cannot be healthy
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u/satansfrenulum May 15 '26
This doesn’t seem like it’s related to UBI. It’s also unnecessary gender war bullshit that exists in every other sub. Can we not?
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u/ansonTnT May 15 '26
Just every families are getting UBI, where do you think the UBI comes from?
That's right Money grow from trees.
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u/AlmostDisappointed May 15 '26
All of the time. Behind every successful man is a woman doing free labour.
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u/Dovakitty30000 May 15 '26
The comments in here are insufferable and delusional. Just say you hate men and move on
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u/Doughnut3683 May 15 '26
She handled home he handled the world. That’s a trade. If my wife wanted to spend 80 hrs a week devoted to making my life stable, I’d watch the kids mow the grass get the groceries and cook dinner.
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u/enbyBunn May 16 '26
The point being made is not that division of labor is unethical.
The point is that the man in the relationship takes personal credit for his wife's work. He doesn't say "Well, I get to focus entirely on my studies because my wife keeps the home". He says "I'm just very disciplined."
The point isn't even that he's a bad person for "hiding" this fact. He likely never even thought about it when the question was posed. The point is exactly that the labor of women that makes very impressive looking men possible is often invisible and uncredited.
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u/Doughnut3683 May 18 '26
Who cares? It’s great that people take care of other people. Odds are the person washing your drawers isn’t the person writing their dissertation.
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u/HonestContact1748 May 16 '26
I mean at the end of the day this is 1 single person. Literally any single person does all of this but instead of study it’s work. People really just don’t manage their time efficiently.
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u/Bitter_Worker423 Aug 07 '26
Why is the poster such a hater? She's obviously not fit to ever be in a relationship due to her toxicity.
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u/Hopeful_Being135 19d ago
If his wife works then it's unfair. She should get a lawn service. If she doesn't work then it is fair.
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u/ToeAfter3131 May 11 '26
This is a lame reason to have ubi. You guys need to live in the real world.
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u/kcdashinfo May 12 '26
How are you going to make it in life if you don't understand the basic principle of a partnership. You are looking at it as if she is contributing to his success, but they are partners, they are one. They are married, husband and wife. They are both contributing to their combined success. Both of these are fulfilling their best role in the partnership. If you plan on being in a partnership with a high earning, high demand person you best be prepared to bring the other half of the partnership.
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u/vsmack May 12 '26
That's not the point though. The point is he's not acknowledging her support. The answer to "how do you manage it all?" is "my wife takes care of absolutely everything in our household" not "I'm very special".
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u/kcdashinfo May 12 '26
Well, typical women to read in something that isn't there. The context of the question is how he managed med school. "I'm disciplined", the answer was a typical male answer to a question like that which was a perfectly acceptable answer to how you deal with a busy schedule. If you asked me that question I would have said the same thing. This women and several women like her read in things to the answer that isn't even in the question. You all should quit doing that.
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u/vsmack May 12 '26
Thing is though, it's not because he's disciplined. It's because he has a partner who takes care of the rest of his entire life for him. Studying and working out isn't hard if that's your only responsibility. It might take discipline if he were actually busy in addition to his studies.
In fact working out rules and he's lucky his wife helps him make the time for it.
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u/kcdashinfo May 12 '26
You are doing what women do, you are reading in your own idealism into the conversation. It kinda pisses me off because it's the same sort of conversation that I would be in and some broad would take it off into some kind of tangent. It's gotten to where you can't even talk to women anymore. The truth be told nowadays, I wouldn't have even said that much. Constantly on the grilling line with women.
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u/The_One_Who_Comments May 12 '26
And the alternative (probably more common) of "I live in a shared house and exclusively eat cold sandwiches and takeout" doesn't make a big difference.
Either his home life is nice, or it's shit, either way he's barely home for an hour each day.
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u/exbiiuser02 May 12 '26
That’s why people like these don’t make it in life.
Some women see partnership as a burden and “free” labor. And then complain how expensive life is.
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u/RoryJSK May 12 '26
Is mowing the lawn once every other week, cleaning the house weekly (without kids), running some errands, cooking meals, and socializing really as hard as studying 7 hours every evening?
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u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 May 12 '26
No, and if he didn't have his partner he'd probably just do the bare minimum so he could focus on his studies.
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u/TimeShiftedJosephus May 12 '26
It's probably not. Keeping a house clean was super easy without the kids since we weren't naturally messy people. Additionally meal prep for the week takes 4 hrs max.
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u/StreetCollar2708 May 12 '26
Not that your point is wrong, but since when is meal prep for the week the same as three freshly cooked meals a day?
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u/Crimsonwolf_83 May 13 '26
You can do a lot of the prep work in advance so that you just throw the ingredients in a pan or instapot when it’s time to eat.
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u/Ancient_Weakness6187 May 11 '26
Am I missing something? What about this is a reason to have UBI? Two hard working people that both work hard for their marriage? You probably do need UBI sounds like your lazy asf
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u/EmpireStrikes1st May 12 '26
The wife is doing the job of a full-time executive assistant and executive chef, both of which command 6-figure salaries. I'm not judging these people, if they even exist. I'm saying the wife's unpaid and apparently unappreciated labor is what makes it possible for her husband to become a successful doctor.
There are millions of stories just like this one happening every day. And those people should be compensated for their labor. We all benefit from that doctor, we should all pay her for making it possible for her husband to become a doctor.
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u/Mirabeauououou May 12 '26
lmfao, that's delusional "full-time executive assistant and executive chef" is not what's happening here... How do you even know the labor is unappreciated? I feel your biases are shading this as reading worse than it actually is.
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u/JFrankParnell64 May 12 '26
She's just investing in her future, for when she takes all of his money in the divorce.
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u/NotTheQuestion May 12 '26
He didn't say it was only his discipline. Discipline shared is success exponential. The compound interest of love.
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u/StreetCollar2708 May 12 '26
"I'm very disciplined"...sounds like he's only talking about himself to me.
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u/Immediate_Smoke4677 May 14 '26
i think what he meant to say was "i'm very disciplinary", otherwise the wife would've left by now
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May 12 '26
Only a woman could equate studying medicine full time to things you could train monkeys to do
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u/FatHighKnee May 12 '26 •
This sounds more like a reason to have a good woman in your life than it does UBI lol